I woke up early and prepared breakfast for Ruari as an apology for my outburst about Jean. When I knocked on his door and got no answer I assumed he was still sleeping. Both of us fell asleep at nearly dawn and after the events from last night I decided it's better to let him rest.

I left the food on the table and a short note telling him where I was going for the day with another appeal for forgiveness before going downstairs to meet with Lorcan and the council.

There hasn't been a raid since Ruari's arrival, thank the spirits, but we're still on the edge. We're not stupid to think they've given up, if anything, I think they're regrouping.

"You look like shit," Lorcan greeted as I entered the kitchen.

"I know." I answered as I sat on the stool next to him.

I could feel his gaze on me and as always he didn't say anything. He just sat quietly beside me sipping his coffee, waiting for me to fess up. Sometimes I envy Lorcan for his patience.

I placed both my elbows on the counter to support my aching head with my hands and sighed.

"I fucked up..." I started.

"Yeah," he replied blowing at his coffee. "We all heard last night."

I winced and tried to ignore the fact that I majorly screwed up and created a scene in front of the pack.

"I panicked. I wasn't thinking straight."

He raised an eyebrow and motioned for me to continue.

"It was going good, more than good actually. He even let me hold his hand while we were walking at the mall. Then we went to have dinner. We were having a moment or about to I'm not sure. I think I moved too fast. Ruari balked and everything went downhill from there."

I kept thinking about it. The fight wasn't really about Jean, well partly but not wholly. Everything fucked up when Ruari felt cornered. And I, fool that I was, became impatient. I should have retreated  and continued on my subtle attacks on his defense while I was still on good solid ground. But last night I threw caution to the wind and end up buried deep in muck. I realized my mistake but it was too late to retract. In the end I crashed and burned, again.  

"He was talking to this guy on the phone..."

"How do you know it's a guy?" I looked at Lorcan like he has a screw loose but he has a point. How do I know Jean is a guy? I just assumed he was.

Lorcan shrugged. "You don't know if Jean is a guy or girl."

"But that's not the problem! The problem is Ruari told that person 'Jean' that he missed him." I snarled reliving the part of the conversation feeling the same burning sensation in my chest. "I thought maybe I was misunderstanding something. I hoped this Jean was just a friend then Ruari suddenly said he loves him. I tried not to get angry but I couldn't do it. Could you?"

Maybe it's just me, I am possessive by nature I admit, but who knows how other people react when they hear the person they love utter those words to someone else. But Lorcan shook his head sagely, affirming that not even he can let that kind of thing slide, and continued to sip his coffee. I start to feel a bit normal again.

"When Ruari acted indifferent I just... snapped."

"Did you ask him who this Jean person is?" He asked.

"I did ask!" I growled pounding my fists on the counter feeling it crack from the force. "You all heard last night. He refused to tell me!"

Lorcan sighed and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Look man, as your friend, I hate to break it to you but last night, what you did, that wasn't asking."

I glared, waiting for him to continue, because I honestly don't get what he's trying to say. What does he mean I didn't ask?

"Ciaran, you don't shout at someone when you want to know something especially something that important." He said seriously. "You don't command them to tell you. You ask, nicely. Beg if necessary."

Beg? If I had gone down on my hands and knees in front of Ruari, bowed my head to ask who Jean is would he tell me? I doubt it. And I doubt Keiron would let me do such a demeaning gesture. He loves Ruari but probably not enough for him to bow down and grovel.

"What was I supposed to do? He wouldn't tell me who Jean is so I let Keiron do the questioning thinking maybe he could talk some sense into him."

"Another mistake." He pointed out. "From what I saw and heard last night and from what you just told me, I don't think Ruari has a problem with telling you who this Jean person is."

I sat up straighter and eyed him closely. Really?

"If you had asked, like a mature person, he would have told you." Lorcan sounds like he knows what he was talking about. He sounds so convincing. I may appear stupid but I'm fucking new at this so I should be allowed some slack. "He was pissed off because you spied on him. He's keeping quiet about Jean and making you squirm because he's punishing you for not trusting him."

I didn't think of that. Now that my mind's working and I could objectively think back on our conversation, Ruari was more upset when he realized I eavesdropped on his call. I was wrong to do that, I admit, but to punish me by withholding important information that could ease my worries is downright cruel.

Then again this is Ruari we're talking about, a very skittish, fragile and distrustful Ruari. He won't tell me anything if he feels he couldn't trust me. If he has any doubt about my sincerity towards him, even a little, he would choose to watch me rot in hell than save me from a misery of my own making. Damn! I'm so screwed.

"What do I do?" I muttered knocking my forehead on the counter. Maybe if I knock it hard enough I'd find the answers I'm looking for. "He probably hates me now. I really blundered this time."

"Let's focus on one thing at a time. Leave him alone for now. He's still pissed off and it's better to leave him to his thoughts, let some steam out. Let's focus on the council meeting this morning then in the afternoon I'll help you think of a way to get back on his good graces."

I looked at Lorcan and nodded. He has a point. It's not good to keep pushing when Ruari's anger is still fresh on his mind. Better let him cool down a little then attack when there's an opening. For now we regroup and think of another strategy.

Three hours later I'm regretting my decision and cursing Lorcan to hell and back in my mind.

The meeting about the raids was long and intense. The whole council was agitated and everyone's nerves were high strung. It left me physically and mentally exhausted. And since I barely slept, I found the whole episode quite challenging. It's a miracle I made it through without tearing someone's head off.

Then a council member brought up Ruari. Brave of him, really, because Keiron perked up in an instant and made a casual appearance ready to pounce at the man. It took all my remaining energy to hold him back. The man asked when we're thinking of performing the mating ritual reminding me that the full moon is coming up.

I don't think it's anyone's business when I'm planning to mark my mate. But then, I am alpha and my mate might be less dominant but he would also be alpha once we're fully mated. So of course the pack is interested to know when Ruari would take his rightful place and the responsibilities that come with it.

But Ruari needs more time to adjust being back in the pack and I don't want to rush him. Right now I'm afraid to even broach the subject of the mating ritual to him. He's too nervous and wary, not to mention our recent spat, if I tell him about his future role in the pack he might just pack up and leave for good.

I forbade everyone in the council to mention anything to him. They seemed disappointed that the ritual won't happen any time soon but since all of them were aware of what happened five years ago, no one argued about my decision to wait until Ruari is good and ready.

After the meeting I hurried upstairs and the first thing I checked was the table. I sighed in relief seeing the food gone. At least he accepted my peace offering. It's a start, I guess.

I walked to my room and noticed Ruari's room is empty. He's probably somewhere within the grounds. I took a quick shower and went downstairs to hunt for him. I went to all the places he could be but no one had seen him since mid morning and I was starting to get edgy. I don't like it when I don't know where he is and Keiron is, again, clawing at me.

I mind linked the whole pack to tell me if they happen to spot Ruari and one of the warriors linked back informing me that he saw Ruari walking towards the training ground.

Why would he go there?

I ran out of the house and made my way towards the clearing where most of the pack trains. There  are warrior wolves training the young ones but no sign of Ruari. I could smell him though and he's close. I followed his scent until I reached a smaller clearing not far from the main grounds.

Some of the pack members noticed me and followed. I guess I roused everyone's curiosity when I mind linked them for Ruari's location. It's too late to stop them from coming but I signaled everyone to stay back once I caught sight of him.

"What is he doing?" Lorcan whispered standing beside me.

Ruari was standing in the middle of the clearing wearing only black pants. His chest and feet were bare and his skin was shining from the sweat covering his body. He had his eyes closed but I have no doubt he knows we were there. He's just choosing to ignore us. He's highly skilled at that.

"I guess we'll see." I whispered back, belatedly noticing that Ruari was holding something in his hand.

"Is that a..." Lorcan whispered and I glared at him to shut up.

Ruari opened his eyes and it focused on mine. The force of his concentration knocked the wind out of me. Then he started weaving the nunchuks in his hand. First he was doing it slow. He moved around the clearing like he was performing a dance. The nunchuks were making swishing and swooshing sounds as it hits the air surrounding him, a sign of the force he was exerting on it. When he arrived back on his starting point the movements got crazy.

Ruari was weaving, turning and twirling the weapon in his hand like a master. He spins it around his body using both his hands not breaking rhythm as he goes. Out of nowhere a second pair appeared and he was handling both at an insane speed like they were parts of his body.

I have no doubt his handling of the weapon was deadly. I don't know much about martial arts but I know enough to understand that to do something like this, at that level, takes years of practice and discipline.

I smiled inwardly. No, secrets he said. Yeah, right! He's a box full of surprises and from the silent admiration emanating from everyone who followed me at the clearing I can tell I'm not the only one shocked by this new revelation.

I watched him intently not daring to take my eyes off the beautiful sight of him. He's amazing and the way he's handling those weapons was beautiful. And how it's making his muscles move was extremely arousing. I know I'm a pervert, sue me!

Ruari continued his movements for a couple of minutes before coming to a full stop. It was prefect.

He's perfect... Keiron concurred.

"Damn! Remind me not to piss him off." Lorcan whispered as he signaled everyone to back off and leave.

Once we're alone Ruari turned to scowl at me.

"Did you have to bring an audience?" He asked irritably.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find you and I mind linked everyone to see if anyone has seen you." I said scratching the back of my neck. I really should stop acting like an idiot in front of him if I want him to take me seriously. This courting thing is throwing me off in odd angles, seriously. "They were just worried." And curious but maybe it's not good to tell him about that right now.

He hummed in annoyance before bending down to grab a bottle of water. I swallowed hard looking at his back flexing and swallowed harder when he started drinking. His throat was working on a sexy way, up and down, as he gulped down water. Some droplets escaped his lips and slide down his chin, neck until finally dropping on his bare chest.

Damn! I could feel my lower member starting to strain.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" I asked taking my eyes off him, thinking of something vile to tamper my growing lust.

He'd probably get pissed off again if he sees me horny after watching at him work out. It's his fault anyway. Who told him to look so damn hot and sexy?

"I had a lot of free time and I used it to train." He answered. "I didn't have anyone to train my wolf with so I trained a lot in my human form. I can fight in my wolf form if needed but I made sure even when I don't phase I can perfectly defend myself."

I nodded in understanding.

He's well versed in martial arts, human fighting style, but lacking in wolf combat. I eyed at him closely and an idea struck me. I smiled silently congratulating myself. This might be the opening I was waiting for.