Chapter 60: A Confession

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Ryzen POV

"For the sake of good old times, I am not doing anything to you, even if your family is being so slow about the deal. They should just settle it once and for all, because it would really be useless. My family won't hesitate to have you killed if they do any mischiefs." Xavier said to me in a stern voice.

I actually have no idea how much time have passed. Has it been days already?

I don't know. I lost track of reality. I feel like I'm stuck in a time loop.

"Just give her water and rice, then leave her. Don't bother about her. No one is allowed to go near her." Xavier commanded to his staff, before finally leaving.

Even though they are merely giving me water and rice, I was thankful. It's better than nothing, right? Also, I feel safer that I'm alone. Although it may be perceived to be horrendous because of the dark atmosphere and creepy noises, I'd feel more unsafe if any of them were around, especially Xavier Ayala.

Every time, I had to painfully duck, just so I can use my mouth to feed myself since my hands were tied.

I can put up with it...

After all, I am not the naive elite, Millen Yu. She would easily give up in this kind of situation but I am different. I have willpower and a strong resolve...

But what is it that makes me want to still live and survive, anyway?

The heavens have abandoned me already, didn't they?

All this time, I have been praying hard. I was begging for Mr. Red-haired man to talk to me, to at least give me a sign.

But even though I am in such a miserable state, my pleads couldn't reach him. He did not even bother listening to me, no matter how much I tried.

It's like all the other times so why did I even expect? Why do I even bother?

What's the point of this mission, anyway? If I come back to my original life, I do not know how to confront it anymore since everything turned out to be lies...

But, if I do finish this mission, I did have the option to rest in heaven, didn't I?

Huh?

But at the thought of that, my heart clenched in indescribable pain.

Lennox's face suddenly appeared in my mind.

Why? Have I been so silly to have truly fallen in love with him?

Love, really? Pfft.

All along, it was me pursuing him for the sake of my desire to complete this mission... to get my original life back.

And so, it should only be him who should've fallen into my trap.

How come that it was me who fell into my own trap instead? Why are the heavens too cruel?

Unconsciously, my eyes became misty at the thought of it. Slowly, tears rolled down my cheek.

Maybe if I do complete this mission, I will be the happiest girl in the world.

After all, that would mean that Lennox truly loves me, right? It means that he loves me enough to make our relationship formal, to make it public. Most of all, It means that the heavens have assured that Lennox have fallen in love with me wholeheartedly.

But then, when I complete this mission, I will no longer be Millen Yu...

What if I don't complete it?

If I stay as Millen Yu, I'd be able to see him as usual. But then, I know myself that it could not last for long...

I know, from his actions, that there's bound to be a day where he might truly love me and announce me as his girlfriend.

Besides, the only way to not complete this mission is to not make him fall in love with me... to make him disgusted with me so he won't ever have the thought of being in love with me.

If that is so, then I do not think there is a point in not completing the mission and staying in this body at all...

Ah, I'm really doomed.

I don't even know how I could think of these matters anyway. How could I dare?

My body, my face, my background... they're all Millen Yu's. If someday, Lennox falls in love with me, it is not really me. It is Millen Yu.

In this world, I really can't have anything, huh? The heavens probably just torture me for their own amusement.

As I drowned into my own tears, a light suddenly came out...

I don't know if I'm hallucinating right now, but I saw Lennox's face. He had a stern expression on.

Upon looking at his face, more sobs came out of me. Tears wouldn't stop as I screamed loudly for his name.

Maybe because of the ruminating that I've done, the heavens have finally stopped joking with me? Maybe now, they're saving me from the miserable state they've put me in. They're letting me see Lennox for one last time.

This Lennox seems to be too real, though. He wasn't just an image that I saw.

As he walked closer to me, he took me in a tight embrace.

I held into him as if I was holding into my last strand of hope. My sobs wouldn't stop as he just patted my back, letting me pour out my emotions.

Slowly though, I tried to calm myself down...

I don't even know if this is real or not. If the heavens are joking on me again.

But if this is the last time that I'm going to see Lennox again, I at least want to say my true feelings.

I forced myself out of his embrace to face him. He only had his jaw clenched and his eyebrows were frowned, obviously worried about my current state.

I gave him a small smile as I caressed his cheeks a little.

This man, Lennox Zevallos, is the only man that have influenced me to a great extent. What is it that I like about him anyway? It's hard to pinpoint.

He's a good public servant, and is efficient in his work in all aspects.

Hmm...

It is those qualities that probably made me attracted to him at first. His intelligence and morals never fail to amaze me every time. And it is because of him, that I've opened my eyes to new perspectives. It's like I'm a completely different person, actually.

Aside from that, he has good looks and a toned, muscular body.

Even in bed, I can honestly say that he's far from being bad. He knows how to satisfy women completely, even in that aspect.

But then, he's not totally perfect at all.

To me, he would show all his sides that other people don't know. At times, he can be overbearing because he gets easily jealous... he's childish and is very picky about food...

But even so, with all his admirable assets and quirks, I find him even more lovable.

I tried to equal his intense gaze, but I cannot even last for long. Instead, I trailed my hands into his nose, lips, and back to his cheeks again.

I want to memorise his face. I want to know every detail of it. It is the memories of him that will be dear to my heart and make my sorrowful life be a bit more worthwhile.

If there is one thing good about my current life, this is probably it..

I've had the chance to spend time with this great person.

To be able to feel his warmth, hear his sweet words and be indulged with his soft touches... maybe I am not so miserable at all.

"I love you..." I whispered softly.

It took the remaining strength I had just to say those words.

Right after that, my whole body collapsed as everything went dark...

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