REBECCA'S POV

I know he must have felt me tense up because his thumbs started rubbing circles on the backs of my hands which he grasped earlier. I took my time before I started talking.

"I-it's hard to open up to people."

"Hey," Ryan tugged at my hands a little. "Remember at the hospital we were talking about that feeling thing?" I nod right away so he continues. "I don't want you to be scared off because absolutely nothing will happen between us if you don't want the same things, but I care about you so much Becca. Even though we just met, I could tell right away that you're different and I liked that. Then, after our date last weekend, I could tell my gut instinct was right in the beginning. You are amazing and beautiful inside and out Becs. I will never leave you even if we just remain friends okay?"

My answer is a simple smile while gazing into his stormy gray eyes.

"How about after you tell me what you're willing to share, you can ask me anything you want and I'll answer."

"Okay. But can you not stare at me like that please? It's distracting."

He swiftly, but tenderly, pulled us both backwards so we were laying on the bed and looking at the ceiling. I peeked towards him and saw his eyes gazing upwards while a small smile played on his face as he intertwined our hands in between us.

"Well. First, you don't scare me Ryan. The feeling thing that we have is strange to me but it's real. Our date was amazing and you turned out to be one of the most selfless and caring people I have ever met. That being said..." I paused to take a deep inhale and exhale to relax my system.

"My mom and dad met in high school. My dad always said that it was love at first sight so they started dating almost immediately and had me right out of school." I could feel Ryan lightly fiddling with our fingers as I smiled in the memories of my parents.

"They were both only children and had older parents so pretty soon it was just us three against the world. We never had much money but they always made sure I had everything I needed and they loved me more than anything." Some unexpected tears started flowing down my face as I took a break in my story. I knew what was coming next. "When I was twelve, my dad got into a bad car accident."

I felt Ryan's hand tighten it's hold and I knew he was looking at me. I could feel his eyes.

"He was hit by a drunk driver on his way home from working second shift at his factory job. It was his last day of work before his vacation for the holidays and we had so much planned, but that was replaced with scheduled surgeries where he could still hold a conversation with us. He told me and mom how much he loved us every time we saw him; it was like he knew what was going to happen. Anyways, after one surgery didn't have the results expected, he had a brain aneurysm that put him into a coma."

The tears were steadily falling now and Ryan's free hand wiped them away.

"He was in a coma for almost two weeks until his heart just gave out on the day before new years eve. We had the funeral and kind of kept on going but it all seemed like a blur. I knew we were always struggling for money but I didn't realize how bad it was until it was my fourteenth birthday. My mom was crying when I got home from school because she couldn't afford any presents for me. It turns out, she was still trying to pay off dad's hospital and funeral costs as well as all the house costs with just one minimum wage income. I told her over and over again that I didn't need any presents and that she was the most amazing mother I could have ever asked for."

I turned on my side to face Ryan who was listening contently. His stormy eyes made it seem like he was sharing my pain.

"Eventually, she started becoming happier and I knew she met someone. She kept it a secret until I asked her about it because she was afraid I would think she was trying to replace dad when really I just wanted to see her happy again." I stopped to take a breath. "I met her new boyfriend, Kirk Logans, at a fancy restaurant so I knew right away he had money. He seemed okay but never really cared about me. I looked past it since I didn't really need him and he made my mom happy again. They got married pretty quick and I found out it was because they were expecting."

Ryan's sharp intake of breath showed me his surprise at the situation I was put in just under two years ago.

"They were ecstatic and Kirk was actually nice to me. For once, he didn't pretend like I wasn't there. I got my hopes up into thinking I could have a real family again but that all changed on my sixteenth birthday. Mom was five months pregnant and everything was going great until she went in for her regular check up and returned with some bad news. My birthday was forgotten about when we found out she had been diagnosed with cancer."

I was almost sobbing and the words couldn't come out. I felt strong arms wrap around me and I was pulled into a hard chest. He comforted me and didn't press for me to keep talking but I continued anyways, I couldn't really cut it off here.

"They said it had already spread but they could try chemotherapy as a last chance option. Kirk was all for it but my mom was worried about what the medications would do to the baby so she wanted to wait until it was born to start treatment. All the doctors advised her to get an abortion and go through with the chemo but she refused. They gave her a very small chance of living until she gave birth but if anything happened, they would perform a c-section and hope for the best."

My throat started to hurt from crying so hard that I started coughing uncontrollably. Ryan gently pat my back and ignored the nasty sounds coming from my lungs.

"I was so mad at her. She was risking her life for a new family and I would be left behind if she didn't make it. I was so mad Ryan. I-I ignored her for a while until I realized I was overreacting and she just needed me to be there for her. But it was too late. I got to the hospital to visit her after school and she was gone."

I couldn't get through anymore. I just couldn't and the sobbing took control.

Ryan pulled me closer and just let me cry. I don't know how long we stayed like that because exhaustion quickly overcame me.