Chapter 111

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RYAN'S POV

Becca sat and stared blankly ahead. She wasn't in her 'nightmare mode' yet but I knew it would only take a small tap for her to go over the edge. I turned to Will, my best bet at getting what she needed, and practically begged him to give her a much-needed time out from all of this.

"Just let her have something to eat after Dr. Gensler checks her out again. She'll be relaxed and then we can finish this discussion later. Please just give her a break." The two male officers seemed to converse back and forth without saying anything and finally Will nodded once.

"We'll give you two an hour but we have to finish this up after that Ryan. I know it's hard for both of you but it needs to get done."

"I understand. Thank you so much." I rose and shook hands with both men before turning back to Becca who was still zoned out and staring at nothing. She wasn't panicking yet so I don't even think she was reliving the past week – she was just tired and deserved a break. "Becs?"

"Yeah?" Her voice was so soft and she responded but didn't look in my direction. Sitting on her bed again, I took her hands in mine and waited for a bit before speaking again.

"Becs? Look at me baby." Her blue eyes seemed clouded over and dazed when they finally connected with my own. "We're going to take a break from talking to the officer's okay?"

"Okay. Yeah, I heard you ask them." She was acting so strange.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you hurting?" I tried to think of all possible reasons why she was acting so out of it besides her memories pulling her down. She still had a lot of fresh injuries that hadn't had enough time to heal yet so maybe that was it.

"A little bit," her eyes finally cleared up and she smiled slightly. "Are we going to talk to Dr. Gensler now?"

"I'll page for a nurse. Hopefully he's free." I pushed the button near her bed and leaned down to kiss her temple. For some reason it almost seemed to surprise her.

"What can I help you with dear?" The same elderly nurse that helped get rid of the cops to calm Becca down was the first to arrive, followed shortly by Dr. Gensler. "Oh Doctor! You're here early!" The woman said lovingly.

"I was too excited to see the lovely Ms. Hanson this morning so I popped by sooner than usual," he said, dismissing the nurse and turning to Becca and me. "How are you feeling Becca?"

"I'm okay." I almost rolled my eyes at how nonchalant she was acting.

"The cops were questioning her earlier and her machines went nuts. They came in after she calmed down and I finally got them to let her have a break... can you like make them disappear?" Dr. Gensler chuckled at my ridiculous hopefulness.

"I'm afraid not Ryan but I can do a quick check up on Becca's charts and such. I'll try to go extra slow so they can't barge back in here. Does that sound good?"

"I'll take what I can get Doc." He smiled and reached for Becca's papers from the cabinet to study what had happened while he was gone.

"It does look like you had a little fit. What set it off? Was it just the policemen?" He acknowledged Becca with so much care that I knew she would be comfortable enough to speak with him directly.

"They tried to make Ryan leave," she said grumpily. The doctor gave me a little smirk before smiling at my beautiful girl.

"Ryan helps you stay calm, doesn't he?" She nodded gently as he wrote some notes on the pages in front of him. "I see Ms. Juliet already made note of that. She's the older nurse that treats everyone like they're her own children. It's real sweet but I know her patients affect her more because of it."

"She helped get everyone out of the room and let me talk to Becca alone," I said. I really appreciated her for trusting me and doing that.

"She goes with her gut," Dr. Gensler said with a smile. "Well, Becca, I'm just going to check over your injuries quickly okay?" He examined her new stitches and bruises with finesse and gently rotated her arms while he distracted her. "Have you been talking Ryan's ears off since you got your voice back?"

"No," she giggled and flashed those bright eyes at me. "He likes to talk way more than I do."

"Somehow I don't doubt that! Did you two meet in school?" She nodded along as he felt her neck and shoulders. "What's your favorite subject?"

"Chemistry. Or Biology."

"Really? Do you know what you want to go to college for? You can do a lot with interests in those areas."

"I didn't really think about it too much..." She was embarrassed about her recent thoughts on school but I was proud to share them.

"Becca's a really great cook. She was thinking about culinary school." Dr. Gensler looks surprised.

"Culinary school?! That's wonderful Becca, I don't have the cooking knack myself so anyone who possesses it impresses me." She smiles widely and it's so beautiful.

"Everything she cooks is delicious," I admit, beaming at my girl. "Speaking of... do you think she's okay to eat yet Doc?"

"I'll allow soft foods or soups okay? You need to eat too Ryan." I nod along but roll my eyes – I'm not really worried about myself right now. "I'll have a nurse come in and take down what you guys would like to eat. I'll order a half hour break once your food arrives but that's the best I can do to ward off the cops alright?"

"And Ryan can stay?" Becca asks shyly from her bed.

"Yes, Ryan can definitely stay." He turned to me and gave me an update: "Everything looks good. I now the days she was asleep were scary for you but they gave her a jump start on recovery. I'd say she'll still be sore tomorrow but might be able to be transferred."

I thanked him and went back to holding Becca's side.

---

Becca and I both ordered some subpar chicken noodle soup from the hospital cafeteria that was delivered to her room. She was still a little out of it but seemed much better after speaking with Dr. Gensler. He assumes that it's just stress from what she's gone through, the hospital stay, the police questioning her, and other random crap... She shouldn't have to deal with this.

"Becs, the cops are going to want to come in soon hun," I say gently, wishing she'd opened up to me a bit more when we had our privacy.

"Can you sit by me?"

"Of course babe." Why wouldn't I sit by her?

"No, here." She pointed to the bed next to her and tried to scoot over with pain sketching across her face.

"Becs stop!" She ignored me and warily lifted herself to the side of the bed so there was a space wide enough for me. Then she looked up with some spot-on puppy dog eyes and I couldn't say no. "I wish you had asked Dr. Gensler if this was okay or asked me to help you."

"I'm sorry." Her pretty blue eyes filled with tears. "I just wanted you to be close. I want you to hold me."

"Shh don't cry. I'll sit here with you until it's ok for me to hold you alright? I don't want to hurt you Becs." She nodded slightly and leaned her head on my arm while winding her own around mine tightly and gripping my hand.

"I'm ready." Now that she was all comfy, I didn't want to move so I texted Will that it was okay to come in.

"Feeling better Ms. Hanson?" Officer Torrez asked trying to lighten the mood but Becca ignored him so that obviously didn't work. I gave him a look and he returned to his spot against the wall with Will while Officer Bloomer sat quietly with her notepad.

"Take your time Becs." She started talking after I placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and squeezed her hand slightly.

"When the officers tied me up, they took some pictures and, uh, left."

"They took pictures of you?" I wished I could hold her and hide her face in my chest – I knew how much she needed it right now.

"Yeah... I stayed there for a while and my arms went numb, only my tippy toes could touch the floor and they were getting tired." She stopped talking and I knew the worst part was coming. I was infuriated, disconcerted, and depressed with what I couldn't save her from, but I had to stay calm and be here for her this time. I gave her some time to relax before running my thumb along the back of her hand to she'd continue.

"Kirk came in and... he..." Her voice came in sobs and I rolled my head back to look up at the ceiling. I couldn't take this.

"You're doing a great job Becca," Will encouraged. "We'll wait, we aren't in a hurry. Ryan's right next to you okay?" She flinched when I squeezed her hand again, keeping my eyes up so I wouldn't see her tears.

"He used the knife, the same one from a long time ago..." Well Jesus Christ. "He cut my dress a-and laughed."

"Where did he cut your dress Becca?" Jacob spoke up this time and just his voice made me angry. I'm sure he saw the damn pictures that I had to look at! He knows what Kirk fucking did to her!

"In the middle. And my bra and stuff. And me." She whispered the last words and I don't know if it was because I remembered the picture, or her standing there all strung up, or her difficulty repeating this story but stupid tears started streaming from the corners of my eyes. I clenched them shut and kept my head up while trying to control my breathing. I didn't want Becca to see me like this.

"He took pictures... told me what he was planning to do but he wanted to videotape it all f-for Ryan to see. Because I wasn't Ryan's, I was his." My breath caught from my struggle to quiet my tears and I know she noticed since her free hand started stroking my arm gently. She shouldn't be comforting me; it should be the other way around.

"I'm sorry Becs. Keep going." I muttered out through clenched teeth, afraid to look around the room at the grown men who must be gawking at me while tears flow down my face like a fucking river.

"I love you Ryan," she leaned up and spoke quietly in my ear. Becca's voice got softer as she took on the role of comforter. She sounded strong yet gentle and didn't hesitate once to tell the rest of the story. She was being strong for me and it both killed me and made me so proud of her. "Kirk didn't do anything except touch but I know it would have gone past that if you guys hadn't showed up. Do I have to explain what he did to me in detail? Or??"

"As specific as possible without you getting too uncomfortable Becca. Really whatever you'd like to share but the details will make this case move along quicker," Officer Torrez explained.

"He just grabbed my chest, slapped it so his handprints would stay there for a few minutes." God, I couldn't take this conversation. "He didn't cut me anymore except when he was taking off my dress but he must have known my ribs were broken because he chose to poke at them when I wasn't listening."

"What was he saying to you when he did that?" Jacob asked inquisitively and if I wasn't such a mess right now I'd go across the room and kick his ass for asking Becca to elucidate more.

"He was telling me what he was going to do to me and asking me if I wanted that. I didn't want to say the obvious answer and upset him more but I couldn't say yes, so when I didn't reply it made him angry." She stopped and lifted her head, probably to look at me, and put it back down with a deep sigh. "He grabbed for me once... down lower, but I kicked at him. He got really angry and yelled."

"Where did you kick him Becca?" Will asked almost tenderly.

"You know... then he couldn't, uh, do anything so he hit me. Before I blacked out I saw him leave after yelling at me... that's all there is until Ryan came." I exhaled shakily, thankful that this was done. I couldn't even imagine what she had to be thinking during all of this.

"Thank you, Becca. I will get this transcript to the station and we'll try to process Kirk as soon as possible." Officer Torrez announced and I heard shuffling throughout the room of the officers leaving. A large hand – not Becca's – rested on my leg and I jumped but kept my head back with my eyes squeezed shut.

"Ryan," it was Will. "I'd like to speak with you in the hall for a minute. Take your time; I'll be outside when you're ready." His hand left my leg before I heard him walk across the room and shut the door. I was so embarrassed for crying and so upset about what happened to Becca... everything was just so screwed up.

"Ryan?" Becca's soft voice brought my mind back down peacefully. "Thank you for staying – I know you didn't want to hear about it." I snapped my head down to look at her so she would really understand the emotions I was feeling by looking into my eyes.

"No, Becs that isn't it... I wanted to know but it's just hard hearing what you had to go through. Babe I missed you so much and I was so worried about you. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, kept crying like I am now," I stopped to scoff and wiped harshly at my tear stained cheeks. "This is just..." I sighed and covered my face with my hands. I was so embarrassed to be crying – not because Becca would see, but because I needed to be the strong one and I wasn't holding it together very well.

"Ryan, I love you." Her hands covered my own so her fingers could pry mine away from my face. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. This is done now." I couldn't hold back. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her as cautiously as I could. My tears flowed freely down my face and I basically sobbed into her hair. God, I would be lost without her, completely lost.

"I love you so much Becs, so so much." She sniffled and turned her head to kiss my neck and stroked my lower back where her hands were. After a few seconds I pulled back and checked to make sure she was okay. "Are you hurting?"

"No. I'm okay." She pecked her lips and I took that as an obvious clue that she wanted a kiss. I have kissed her since she's been back but this one felt more powerful and meaningful.

"I have to go talk to Will. I'll be back." I brushed at my face once more and Becca smiled shyly. "What?"

"Nothing. I love you."

"I love you more. I'll just be right outside the door." I left and met Will in the hallway who was leaning against the wall.

"Ryan," he started in greeting. "I wanted to give you this information. It's a counselor we often recommend to people that have been in the kidnapping situations or something close and I think they're a big help. I called already and just explained that I think it'd be good for both of you to meet with her at the same time and she's okay with that – it's clear to me that what you two have is special and it works." He seemed uncomfortable and shuffled his feet, handing me the business card. "I think Becca really needs this but it would help you too. Please think about it."

"Thanks," I stuff it in my pocket and reach out for a handshake, "for everything Will. I mean it. Thank you so much." He smiled and nodded his head, pulling my arm to reach around for a tight hug.

"I'm sure Alex will keep me in the loop but don't be a stranger."

He turned the corner and went down the hall while I went back to my beautiful girl, resting in a hospital bed with her bright smile lighting my entire word. 

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