Kiara's POV:

Dean's lips feel so perfect on mine, soft, passionate desperately moving on mine. I've been missing and craving this feeling so damn much. When his tongue licks at the seam of my lips, asking me to open up for him, I automatically do. His minty, vodka mixed taste filling my mouth while his tongue starts playing with mine.

Suddenly I realize what I'm doing, he has a girlfriend and I give him a hard push back. "Dean we c-c-can't", I stammer out. "You have a girlfriend and I'm not some girl to do these things."

"Forget about Nadine, Honey. I miss you so awfully much."

The elevator opens and I rush out as fast as possible, with Dean hot on my heels. Reaching my door I try to enter as fast as possible, before I do something dead stupid. But Dean spins me around and pins me against the door.

His hand reaching to the choker necklace and grips the string dangling down, his hand sliding down it against the skin of my chest until he reaches the point where it disappears between my breasts. My chest heaving heavily, my breath accelerating to the feel of his touch. I want more, I want it all and then again, I don't. This is only going to hurt me badly.

"Dean, I can't", my voice nearly breaks.

"Kar", he breathes only inches away from me. "God damn, I miss you so much please believe me." One hand lands on my waist, the other cups my left cheek. For a moment I just want to believe him, believe Tyler's and Igor's words and give into this feeling. My face leans further into his palm, closing my eyes, enjoying the feeling his touches cause deep within me.

Soft warm lips land on mine again, this time I don't draw back. My drunken mind might be too dazed, to think about the consequences, but right now all I want is to feel him this close. My hands wrap around his neck and I pull him closer to me. Our kiss deepens and Dean's grip on me tightens, pulling me tighter against him, while a wildfire ignites within me. There's so much need in this kiss. God, I miss him so damn much.

Dean's hand reaches to the card, which is only half in the slot of the door, opens it and moves us inside. With one foot he kicks the door closed behind him. His hands slip from my waist down to my ass and he lifts me up. My legs automatically wrap around him knowing this is where they belong. Again I'm pinned against the door, this time from the inside.

Dean's lips start trailing kisses down my neck, the moment he starts sucking that one spot beneath my ear a slight moan escapes my mouth and I feel Dean push me a little harder against the door. I'm lost in this moment, nothing around me matters. My heartbeat is speeding up more than during any race.

When his lips start taking mine over again, my hips start moving against him. Feeling his hard dick in the right spot only makes me move a little harder against him. A loud groan escapes Dean's mouth, coming deep from his chest.

"Fuck Kar, st-stop, s-s-slow down", he stutters although his body is telling me different. But boy does this sudden stutter of his turn me on.

"You don't want to after all?", a fear strikes me deeply and I try to draw back.

"Fuck yes I do Kar, more than anything else. It's just been so long, too long since the last time. You're killing me and at this rate I'll be done before we even get started", his eyes focused on mine while he says that.

My thoughts automatically go to him and Nadine and my grip on him loosens. As if he could read my mind, he speaks up.

"No Kar, don't even think about her. I'm here with you, think of all the things I've said to you. Please", he pleads and I'm not sure what he means. "I don't want to be here with anyone else but you." His soft kisses trailing down my neck again, draw me down into my Dean haze again.

When his lips find mine again, there's an urge behind his kisses that soaks my thong immediately. Still suspended in the air I start grinding into him again. "You're my death Honey", Dean moans.

"Please Dean I haven't had an orgasm since us", I plead desperately.

"Fuck I wanted to drag this out, but I need to be burried in you right now."

With one arm lifting me a little higher, he unbuckles his pants and drops pants and boxers to the ground. Seconds later I feel a slight snap and a tearing of fabric and my thong is gone. Both his hands cup my ass again and he slowly lowers me down.

"Oh Fuck, Kar", he moans loud while moving into me, burrying his head in the crook of my neck.

He stills for a moment, one hand moving to the back of my dress unzipping it and freeing my tits.

"You're so beautiful", Dean whispers against my skin.

One hand starts drawing circles around my nipple, nearly driving me insane from not touching me the way I need him to. Slowly he starts thrusting back into me again, his lips on mine swallowing my moans.

When his head lowers to my tits, I automatically arch my back. "Eager, are we?", Dean chuckles, before sucking my nipple hard, sending sweet sensations right to my core.

"Fuck yes", my cry fills the room and my hips try to move faster against him.

"Fuck Kar, you are making it hard on me to hold back", Dean groans against my tits.

"Don't hold back, fuck me Dean. Fuck me hard please, I need you to make me come", jeez I sound desperate. Fact is I am right now, every inch of body aching for a release, which only Dean can give me.

With a deep growl, Dean's grip on me tightens and he thrusts faster and harder into me, his teeth graze my neck before he sucks again. I feel the pull already deep inside of me, my muscles tense up. Dean's hand pinching my nipple sends me over the edge and I clench hard around him, crying out his name. But Dean is holding himself back even with obviously being so close himself.

"I'm not done with you tonight Kar, I'm going to remind you whom you belong to", Dean says with a husky and desperate voice.

I don't need a reminder; my body and soul know I'll always be his. But he doesn't belong to me and my heart squeezes at the thought of it.

"Dean", I try to protest, but his lips are already sealing mine, he's taking my mouth over again while walking us across to the bed.

My lips leave his and trail kisses against his neck, I know he loves it just as much.

"Kar", he breathes my name so desperately causing the heat to rise within my body again. Only he can do this to me.

He lays me down on the bed, kisses me a little longer, moving ever so lightly in and out of me, the friciton just enough to never let me get down from the high I was feeling minutes ago. His fingers intertwine with mine, kissing me with what I used to think was so much love. His hips move at a constant pace and within no time at all I'm close to the edge again.

Dean's arms go down and tighten around my shoulder, he kisses me deep as if he needed to drown in our kiss. God, I love him so much. "Oh Kar", he whispers as both of us finish.

As if he never gets tired, he keeps on moving and kissing. Only a couple of minutes later I can feel he's fully hard again. "The things you do to me, Honey", he whispers while leaning his forehead against mine. When he pulls out, I whimper and he smirks obviously pleased with my reaction. Suddenly he flips me over.

"On your knees Kar, bend over and hands on your back." In bed it turns me the fuck on, when he commands and controls me.

"It's my turn to demand hard", he whispers against my ear. "But I know you're going to like it too. I'm going to fuck your brain out and I want to hear you scream in the pleasure I'm giving you, you hear me?"

I know how he wants me to answer. "Yes Sir."

"Good girl", he whispers and kisses his way, from my ear over my back until he is standing upright at the edge of the bed. With one hand he grabs hold of my hands on my back, while the other starts gliding through my slit, dipping a finger into me. "You're always dripping wet for me", he groans and starts toying with his dick at my entrance causing me to whimper again in need.

A sudden deep thrust of him, makes me cry out loud. Dean's grip on my hands tighten to keep me in place while his other hand grips my hip tightly. He pulls back out and slams full force back into me, groaning loudly. Each time he pulls out slowly, taking his time just to slam back in hard. Pushing my back and head down a little more, he changes the angle and every time he slams back in, he's hitting my G-spot.

"Dean", I cry out several times. This is so god damn intense, my whole body is shaking and Dean's fingers dig into my flesh.

Slowly he starts picking up the pace his hand lets go of my hands. Instead he grips my hips tight on both sides. "I want you to roll your nipples between your fingers for me Kar", Dean demands with a thick voice, a voice telling me how turned on he is. I move my hands to my tits and do as recommended, causing him to groan louder.

"Oh fuck yes", Dean's thrusts come so fast and hard now I barely stay in place even with his hands trying hard to hold me there.

"You going to come for me again, Kar?", Dean asks between clenched teeth, while I already feel it building up.

"Yes", I moan. His moves starting to get more and more tense but also sloppy I know he's damn close. The way he keeps moaning my name drives me insane only seconds later I explode in another earth shattering orgasm, taking Dean with me.

Dean breaks down next to me, pulling me into his arms. Even while still panting, his kisses keep coming, covering my neck and shoulders, my back. His fingers trace through my hair.

"I've missed this, I've missed you Kar."

I don't answer just sigh because I know if I do reply it's only going to hurt even more when this moment is over.

Needing to pee, brush my teeth and wash myself I move from his embrace, leaving him complaining behind. Just as I'm finished I start puking. Great I knew I was drunk and I drunk hell of a lot of vodka and the room is spinning, but I can't remember the last time I puked.

Dean comes rushing in. "You ok Kar? Damn I knew you had too many shots."

"Yea and you just shook them decently up. I like vodka sour, but not this way", I manage to make fun of it, before puking again. Dean holds my hair back although I try to send him away a dozen of times. I nearly fall asleep with my head resting next to the toilet, ewww.

Once things finally seemed to have settled, Dean helps me up to the sink and brush my teeth once more. Dean uses the spare toothbrush himself and smiles at me. "Another thing I miss every single day", he sighs.

I wish he'd just stop saying these kind of things. In the morning this will be over and I can't pretend it was just a fuck to me. Well perhaps I could lie to him, but I can't lie to myself. My still totally wasted mind is trying to figure out, what the hell I just did.

Once I'm in my babydoll I crawl into bed and to my surprise Dean crawls in behind me. With his arms wrapped around me I fall asleep.

*********

My eyes are heavy, too damn heavy and I'm nearly too warm. Something is weighing me down. Oh my god I was out with Igor! Please, please don't let me have been so dumb to have taken him back here.

Right now I don't even dare to turn around.

I try and tug the bed sheets a little tighter around myself, while I try to remember what the hell happend last night. We were all at the club, there were others also gawking at me, we had shots, a lot of shots. Jeez did they burn. Oh my god I danced with Dean, fucking lord.

"Good morning, Honey", a husky voice murmurs, giving my shoulder a kiss and every missing detail comes back to my mind. Fuck what did I do?

Feeling nauseous again, I jump out of bed and run for the bathroom puking again.

"Jeez that must have been way too many shots. You need anything Kar?", Dean uses a rubber band to tie my hair back.

"Only for you to get out", my voice breaking.

"Kiara? Everything alright?"

Everything alright? Jesus I just fucked myself up even more. I had from what I now remember amazing sex, with the man I love. The man who has a girlfriend waiting for him at home. Well that's if she's not cheating, but that's not the point. I hate cheaters and now I helped my ex boyfriend who cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and now current girlfriend again, cheat on her with me. Jesus that's so complicated it makes my head spin.

I'm so egoistic that I even helped Dean cheat, just because I wanted him. What kind of fucked up person have I become? Even if Nadine did the same to me, this is not how I am. Although I'm single, I feel I pratically cheated myself. And even worse, my heart is breaking all over again, knowing we were both simply too drunk last night and he'll be back with her.

Damn I think I somehow even realized last night but couldn't care less. Never, ever am I touching any alcohol again when Dean is around. Why was he still in my bed? Why is he still here? Doesn't he care he cheated on his girlfriend? He should be feeling even worse than I am now. Was the Dean I knew only facade and this careless Dean the real Dean?

Well he did act careless with me, towards our end. Does he think he can use me just as a toy when he feels like it?

Tears start streaming down my face. I hate that I have become such a constant crying mess due to him.

"Hey, hey Kar, what's wrong?", Dean crouches down next to me and starts caressing my back.

"Don't fucking touch me Dean", I hiss.

Shocked he backs away a bit. "I-I don't understand Kar, talk to me."

"We both just fucking cheated on your girlfriend Dean, that's what's wrong. As much as I hate her, I don't do things like that. Well I did now, but I....." I didn't want to is wrong, in that moment I wanted it, but now I regret it. I knew I would and still did it, I'm a bloody idiot. "I'm not a god damn toy, who you can fuck with when ever you please. I loved you so damn much Dean and you just play with me."

"It's not like that Kar", he tries to protest.

"Well it sure looks like that to me. You have a girlfriend waiting for you, please just leave me alone", the words are only still leaving my mouth as hoarse sobs.

Without another word Dean leaves the room, I hear some curses from afar and something with so done with this shit, before the main door slams closed.

After brushing my teeth again and taking a shower, I decide to order breakfast to my room. I have nearly six hours flight with Dean in front of me, I'm sure not in the mood to spend even more time with him.

Once breakfast is delivered, I feel like I'm starving. Even still feeling nauseous I dig in. In the end I feel like I'm going to puke from eating too much, I think that was more than I have ever eaten. No wonder by the amount that I puked during the night and beforehand.

As much as I want to put the blame for last night on to Dean, he may have started it but I'm just as much to blame. There's no denying I wanted it, the difference is I come with no strings attached. Finding pieces of fabric spread accross the floor, reminds me even more of last night.

Why can't I just move on and get over him? It's not like we had been together for ages, we only had two and a half months and yet it hurts so much more than the two years with Brad. Guess he's what you'd call THE one, too bad it's onesided.

After I picked up our clothing, I pack Dean's clothes on to the bed in a bag and my stuff into the suitcase. Which makes me think, did Dean just leave the room in boxers? As everything else is left behind here. The thought of it makes me chuckle a little, some ladies might have been very happy outside there.

A short while later a knock at the door catches my attention and I hear Deans voice. "Our driver will be here in fifteen minutes, are you ready?", his voice sounds rough.

"I'll be down in five minutes." I'm sure not going into that elevator with him again. Elevators have weird effects on us.

Once I'm in the lobby I search for him for a moment until I realize, I didn't recognize him in the hoodie he is wearing. The hood is up and shielding his face, it's his build and the suitcase giving him away. I hand my keycard to the receptionist, Dean had already checked us out.

Without a word he takes my suitcase off me and I hand him a bag. "Your clothes", is all I say and Dean mutters a "Thanks."

During our car ride both our phones vibrate.

Tyler: Seems to have been a hot night

And he adds pics from Dean and me dancing last night.

"Fuck", Dean curses.

"I'm sorry, I know this is my fault too. Instead of turning you down as I should have, I went along with what I wanted. Guess you'll have a lot explaining to do at home."

"Do you honestly think I care what Nadine thinks?"

"You should she's your girlfriend. You know seeing this careless side of you, just hurts me even more, knowing you were probably just as careless about me."

"I never wanted to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted Kar. And believe me I was never careless about you. Things are just so fucked up. There's so much you don't know, which you need to know but I can't tell you." He tugs his hoodie further into his face.

"Why can't you?", I don't understand all this.

"Give me some more time and I promise I will explain everything to you."

The car falls silent again, no idea what I'm to make out of this. Dean needs more time. For what does he need more time, why can't he just tell me now?

"And why are you hiding your face from me?"

"Who says I'm hiding?"

"Yesterday your eyes were always on me and now you don't even look at me and are wearing a hoodie shielding you. Is it because you're ashamed of what we did last night?"

His head whips around with anger on his face, but what knocks the breath out of me are his bloodshot eyes.

"Because I mean it every single time when I say how much I miss you. I miss you so damn much. And you're perhaps regretting last night, but I want nothing more than to go back to that moment, the moment you were mine and in my arms. The moment where you loved me and not hate me for the asshole I am."

No idea what I had expected, but I sure hadn't expected these words from him. "I know it's hard to believe at the moment, but I really do love you Kar. And I hope once I'm able to explain everything to you, you will be able to forgive me. Because every single day without you is killing me. I can't take this no longer, I'm breaking because I need you so much."

"I heard you say nearly the same things to Nadine", I huff.

"What the fuck did you hear?"

"Sorry, I wasn't meant to listen. The night before I was too drunk to open my door and I could hear you loudly on the phone. You said to her you can't take it any longer, for her to stop it or something like that and that it is killing you. You're using the same words towards her."

He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. Just as I'm about to look out the window I hear a loud smash next to me. Dean has smashed his window with the fist. Honestly this guy needs to work on his self control. Once we arrive at the airport, Dean talks to the driver and hands him cash while I head into the plane with my suitcase.

As soon as possible, I try to sleep again during the flight. Thanks to me being so awfully tired anyway, I manage to sleep again during most of the flight. Dean takes his Lambo to drop me off at my place since the encounter in the car, we haven't spoken.

"I know you don't believe me at the moment, but