Kiara's POV:

The last four weeks have been a hell of a ride. After the night we went out with our friends and our make up session, which somehow extended through all of Sunday and even lunchbreak on Monday, I was hoping things were good. But by Monday night I had moody Dean back.

He's been so moody, that even Brent invited me into his office during the second week, to ask me about it. No one seems to know what's going on with him. Even Tyler and him got into a huge argument about nothing and once Tyler told him to treat me better, he totally lost it. In the end Tyler had a broken nose, I felt sorry for Tyler and Dean's mood dropped even more at the fact what he had done.

One evening when he came back drunk, he confided into me crying while telling me how badly he's losing his shit at the moment. There have been good days where we didn't argue and his mood seemed to lighten up a little and then he'd draw back totally again and lose it.

I've been wondering if he's suffering some kind of burnout, depression or something like it. By the amount he's working at the moment it wouldn't surprise me. He never leaves the office with me anymore and much to my disapproval Nadine's always at his side. And it hurts me to watch them sometimes.

Like today during the board meeting, she pulled a show again for everyone and Dean's eyes were on her the entire time. It was like she was asking him to fuck her right then and there and even with me there, both of them didn't seem to think about me once. My heart squeezes watching them like that.

As the two of them spend every evening together and Dean now often comes back way gone midnight, I've even asked him if they were having an affair a couple of times already. He keeps on repeating how much he hates her and having to spend time with her. Why does he look like that at her then?

Besides he never says a word when she clings on to his arms or touches his chest. Just like now while leaving the meeting. I fall a couple of steps behind them because I don't want to look like I'm running away from them, which I likely would if I were in front of them. Dean turns around to me.

"Walk ahead Nadine, I'll be right with you", he tells her. And I don't know whether to be happy he realized me at all, or to be angry he'll be hurrying to her.

"No Dean, we need to", she starts off, but Dean cuts her off.

"I'll be right there I said, just give me a moment", his voice is a little strained causing her to huff but leave.

"Hey Honey, you ok? You look a little pale."

"Wow, nice to realize my boyfriend sees me and he even notices I'm pale."

"Of course I see you, what's this fuck about again?", he scoffs.

"I don't know, your eyes glued to your ex, just as your time. Or perhaps the fact that she keeps on touching you although you promised me, to make her stop", I try to keep it quiet so the others won't catch on. Luckily this is an empty area and the board has already left.

"Are we fucking talking about this shit again? Stop being so god damn jealous. I'm together with you, aren't I? Nadine and I are just trying to make it less awkward if we have to work so much together."

I'm still wondering what kind of work that's supposed to be. When ever I enter his office, she's taking care of her nails, reading magazines, oh and in between I find her in front of a laptop. Alright I should mention when ever she's at the laptop, she's on shopping sites crashing daddy's credit card, but at least she knows how to run the laptop. I wonder how he can still be rich, with a daughter like her.

"Well it must be a huge project if you're working day and night together. I'm just wondering how that dumbass is of any help. Oh wait it probably has something to do with nail varnish, as I think that's the only thing she's good in, or bitching."

"Just stop it Kar, alright? Deal with it, as I can't change it. I'll see you tonight, ok? And stop sulking." I'm sulking? He's the one to blow at any occasion. Yes, I'm angry about Nadine and disappointed he won't even let me know how long he'll be away again. But am I being unreasonable?

Last week he even went on a business trip for three days with Nadine and all I could think about was our business trip together to Dubai. It definitely didn't help to think about it and wondering if their trip would be like ours.

"What about our lunch break?", I ask as he only mentioned tonight.

"Sorry, I can't make it this lunch", without another word he walks away.

At least that was something I could rely on in the last weeks, we'd have our lunch breaks together. Even if it was with Nadine in between, when she would find some excuse why she had to stay. And now I'm not even getting that. But guess who will be there. To be honest, I don't even know why she has a damn office to herself, as she's never in it.

Logan see's me in the cantine during lunch break. I still feel bad how Dean reacted to our lunch break together that one time and I've been avoiding him a bit. Well at least deeper conversations only keep it to a friendly hi in the hallway and a smile.

"You look a little lost are you ok?"

A little surprised I look up at him and frown. "Yes sure, why not?", has the gossip already been so bad?

"Well I just thought as you look like you're about to feed a football team", his hand motions to my tray while he chuckles.

"Shit", I mutter once I realize I was just about to pack sandwich number nine on to my tray. "Sorry I guess my mind was drifting off a little", my cheeks redden immediately from embarrassment. I start packing eight of the wrapped-up sandwiches back.

"Didn't you want to leave two on your tray?", he chuckles, obviously thinking I'm still confused.

"Uhm....no. I only need one", my shoulders slack down slightly.

"I see", his voice full of sympathy.

"He's just in a meeting", better mention that before he gets a wrong idea.

"Well how about lunch at my office then? We didn't get to finish it the last time."

For a moment I hesitate, Dean sure wouldn't be happy about this. On the other hand, he's in a meeting with Nadine, it's not like he's going to know. Besides it's not down to him to decide whom I can spend my lunch break with. If he never has time for me, he can't expect me to spend all my time on my own. After all he is also the one, who is making me take lunch breaks.

"Fine. I guess it's better than eating alone. It might be a bad idea for you though."

"I'm not afraid of Dean", well that's a new.

"Nope, I was actually thinking because of you having Mac'n'Cheese there and I only have a stupid sandwich. I'll be very likely drooling over your food."

His shoulders shake as he laughs. "I'm fine to share" and he adds another fork to his tray.

"Who says I'm not going to steal the whole plate?"

"That tiny belly of yours", his fingers pointing at my flat stomach.

He's right though, it's taken me some time getting used to eating during lunch time at all. I can eat normal portions in the evening, but I'm not used to it at this time of day. "Lucky you", I reply following him, causing him to chuckle again.

Logan tells me all kinds of funny office stories during lunch. For instance how the guy in the office next to me, got his dick caught in between the lid and the scanner, while trying to scan it off. Apparently, some screw of the lid had gotten caught and a technician had to come, causing the whole office to catch on. I laugh so hard, I think I'm about to pass out due to lack of oxygen. Especially the way Logan describes it, how one ball was hanging out and the other one was crushed to a purple/blue colour. The poor cleaner after it, had to scrape off something which they presumed to have been pre-cum.

"He was probably so damn turned on by his freaky action, he couldn't hold it. Well the lid of that machine obviously couldn't either", with the lively facial expression of Logan it is hilarious.

When my phone buzzes and I see Dean's name flash up, I'm a little surprised.

I hear you all the way down the hall way. Get the fuck out of his office!!!!

My face falters and Logan catches on. "You ok?"

"Sure, it's just an annoying message."

Why does he think he has the right to tell me, to leave this office? He's not spending his lunch break with me, he can't decide whom I spend it with.

Logan keeps up his stories, while I steal some of his Mac'n'Cheese. Soon I'm laughing again, with tears streaming down my face. The crazy things people do in an office when they get bored.

Suddenly the door flies open and a very angry Dean is glaring at the both of us. His eyes dart to the two forks on one plate and back to me. "I told you to get the fuck out of his office. What wasn't clear about that message?"

"Jeez we were just having lunch together", Logan tries to ease the situation.

"I don't want to hear a single fucking word from you Logan. Just because I can't get rid of you, doesn't mean I can't make your life a hell here."

"Get your act together. If you don't have time for her, she can spend her lunch break with who ever she wants. And well I happend to be free."

Dean's face looks like it's about to explode any second. Normally I'd stand my ground, but I don't want Logan to get a punch for nothing, just because he happens to get in between a caveman behaviour of Dean.

"Sorry Logan, I shouldn't have dragged you in this", I apologize before pushing past Dean, who is hot on my heels right into my office.

"I told you to fucking stay away from Logan", he growls loudly.

"And who do you think you are, to control me like that? So I can't even spend a normal lunch break with a colleague but you get to spend all your time with Nadine or in bars at night. You're such a fucking hypocrite."

How often has he come home drunk lately? I've lost count of it.

"Stay away from him, that's my final", before I can even reply to it, he's out of my office and has slammed my door.

At the moment this seems to be the only way how he seems to show any interest in me. But is caving interest? Is it love? Or is it just the fact, that he wants to control and own me?

By the time the evening comes I haven't really managed a lot, my mind is still circling over the whole situation. If he's really close to a burnout or what ever, I can't push him further on top. But honestly, if I hadn't fallen so hard for him and would be also worrying, I don't know if I would have put up with this.

As mostly lately Dean doesn't come home until gone midnight and he reeks of whiskey. "Drunk again?"

"Bitchy again?", he taunts.

Even if I waited on the couch for him, I'm not in for this right now. I'm so sick and tired of these fights and brush past him without a kiss or anything.

"Where are you off to?"

"Bed", is all I answer.

"No kiss for me? I've been away all day", he pouts. Seriously?

"Stop that pouting, it doesn't match your caveman behaviour", sarcasm dripping with every word. I can't deal with his mood swings right now.

"Why can't you just stay the fuck away from him? You're mine."

"Fuck you Dean, how often do I have to tell you, you don't own me. And me spending a lunch break with Logan is legit."

"He's not getting you", Dean yells while holding on to me.

"Let go of me."

"Not until you promise to stay away from him", the grip on me tightens.

"He's just a fucking work colleague and unlike you at the moment, he at least doesn't behave like a total dick."

"All he wants is to fuck you. He was the one who fucked Nadine alright? And I'm sure not going to make the same mistake twice", Dean's chest is rising and falling rapidly with his accelerated breathing. His hands now slightly shaking.

"I'm not losing you to him. I just can't lose you Kar. Damn I know I'm not treating you the way you deserve it at the moment, but please never give up on me." Letting go of my wrist Dean pinches the bridge of his nose, while he clamps his eyes shut.

Oh my god, it was with Logan that Nadine cheated on Dean. I knew it was someone from the office, but I had presumed that person would have been fired after it happend. Now I totally understand why he is so adamant about it.

"Why didn't you tell me about it? That changes everything. If I had known this, I would have never entered his office."

"Please don't go there again", Dean sounds broken, exhausted and really, really worried.

"I won't Dean, I promise", my voice has turned soft and I'm cupping his face. A soft content sigh escapes Dean's mouth and I lean into him.

"Kiss me Kar and tell me we're going to get through this shit, no matter how fucked up all of this is."

"Don't lock me out, be faithful and I promise to help you. I promise we can make this."

Dean has this awfully pained look on his face which I just want to sooth.

A/N: As the original chapter got awfully long, I decided to cut it here and make two chapters out of it. Even if these are a little shorter than usually.

So it's a double update today.

Please still vote and comment on both chapters. The song will be added in the next chapter.