Chapter 32: A Familiar Place

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It was a few days before Kurt made the decision to return to Dalen. Even then, Hannah had to push him by reminding him about the baby, which could always be born early.

At last, he made off that morning, Hannah and Rio accompanying him up to the bridge outside Dalen.

"I have to thank you again, Kurt," Hannah said, as the three of them stood under the early light. "I'm really glad for your help."

"You know you shouldn't have to thank me. We're friends, aren't we?"

She noticed there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice, and she wondered if he still felt guilty about their argument on the beach. She nodded, and his face relaxed. "Anyway, give our best to Melanie. We hope all goes well with the baby."

"We'll try to send news." He paused, glancing between the both of them. "Take care, both of you." He took off, heading for the forests, the cool sun shadowing his every step.

Hannah watched with her brother until they could no longer see him, then turned back into town.

"You're not sad, are you?" Rio asked her, after she hadn't spoken in a while.

"Sad? No."

"Won't you miss him?"

"No, we have plenty of other things to worry about right now."

"You mean Alyssa?"

She did a worried nod.

"We could visit the station," he suggested, cocking a thumb down the road. "It isn't far. Perhaps the Captain's heard something."

"He would've told me if he had."

"Are you sure?"

"I think I know Macks well enough."

Rio gave her an interested look. "Really."

"Actually, I'd rather visit Magda's," she told her brother. "If you don't mind."

"Why would I mind?"

"Thought I would speak to Shelby for a while, if I can find her." She paused, before adding, "You don't have to come."

"Yes, I do. I'm still under the Captain's orders not to leave you alone."

"And how long is that supposed to go on?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"He's afraid I'm going to get kidnapped again or something like that?"

"He's just trying to look out for you."

She didn't answer, leading them on the route towards Magda's. She saw no point in continuing this conversation. It was always the same, wasn't it? There she was, tired of dealing with the Captain, and there was her brother, ever loyal to his hero.

Hannah looked over the row of shops leading to Magda's, remembering her first night in Dalen, when everything had been new and intimidating to her. So many things had happened since then. Her days as a village girl now seemed dull and simple.

They started nearing Magda's gates, already hearing the sound of the lapping sea. Hannah went first through the doors, expecting and hoping to see Sister Vicki as the day's greeter. Instead, it was a young nun she didn't recognize. Politely, she asked about Shelby, and was told her friend would be in classes until noon.

"We could wait," Rio suggested, taking up one of the hall benches. "We neither of us have anything occupying us today."

"Thank you for that reminder."

"Oh, come on. It's not such a bad thing."

"Oh, really? How would you like it if you were thrown off the guard?"

"Not the same at all," he answered, shaking his head.

"You'd still be upset."

"Jono's was a pit."

"At least it gave me something to do."

"If you want something to do, why don't you volunteer here? Magda's is always in need of hands. Am I right, Sister?" he went, looking round Hannah to the greeter.

The freckled young woman nodded, smiling graciously.

"Work here?" Hannah hissed back. "They don't pay a cent."

"They'd give you room and board." He leaned up, looking like he was hitching onto an idea. "If we give up the house, I can stay at the station. We'd save rent money."

"I don't want to do that. We were starting to get settled, and now you want to give up the house?"

"It's not even our house really. It's not like the land we had in Chell."

"The land I gave up so I could join you here," she said pointedly.

"Well," he shrugged. "It won't be any use to us anymore, I'm sure even you can see that."

"What if I try to find work somewhere else?"

"Where?"

She frowned then, knowing she had no good answer. No one before Jono had been keen or even kind about the idea of hiring her, and she dreaded having to go through the same frustrations again.

Rio reached out, clamping her arm and pulling her to sit. "Think about it, Hannah. Here, you'd be safe, you'd be doing something charitable, and I'd be just down the road from you."

"I know. I just don't like the idea of coming back here. It's like I'm giving up."

"You're not giving up, you're accepting the hospitality of the church and helping them in turn. I think we were too hasty, trying to find a place. I'd rather take the time to save up some money and get a proper place."

He'd be married by then, Hannah thought dimly. He'd want a house for himself and his wife. Then what would happen to me?

"Well?" Rio prompted her.

"I don't know how you keep talking me into these things," she muttered, and he smirked, looking pleased with himself. "But I want you to promise something to me."

"What's that?"

"I don't want you to tell Macks until after I've moved back."

Rio blinked, then cleared his throat. "Um, alright. Any reason for that?"

"Knowing him, he'd want to help with the move again. And I don't want to trouble him. I don't even have that many things, really."

"You know, now would be a good time to start on that. Once I've returned to my duties, I won't be around as much." He looked out the window, seeing that the sun was not yet high. "Do you still want to wait for Shelby, or would you rather go back so you can start packing?"

"I suppose I might as well surprise her later. And spare you."

He turned away, but she still saw the face he made.

Hannah got up, going over to the greeter to ask if there would be space for her to stay in Magda's. Indeed, there were rooms available, but not, to her dismay, her old one.

"Would it be free anytime soon?" Hannah asked.

"I don't think so. It's being used by a visitor from another church, and she'll be here for some weeks."

"I see."

"They must have fixed the bed," Rio said, and Hannah frowned at him.

She was glad that the greeter didn't comment on what he'd said. "Why don't you take the room beside it?" she suggested to Hannah. "I'd say the view's just as nice."

"Of course," Hannah said, nodding a few times. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to seem choosy. I just – would have liked the familiarity, is all."

"Unfortunately, we can't always have that comfort," the young woman said, making a note down in her book.

"Well. I might be coming in soon, probably in the next few days."

"Then I will keep it for you."

"Right. Um, I need to ask. Who could I speak to here about, you know, volunteering myself? As a helper?"

"That depends on where you want to volunteer yourself. In the kitchen, the library, or the wards? Or perhaps general duties?"

"Oh, well ... I'm not too sure, actually."

"I think you'd be good at anything you choose," Rio said, shrugging.

"You may always change if you need to," the young nun advised her. "But of course we'd encourage keeping to one area, especially if you have some experience in it."

"I'll need some time to decide."

"Very well. You can speak to any of us once you've made your choice."

Hannah nodded, satisfied. "Come on, Rio. Let's get back to the house. The house that isn't really ours."

"This is the best thing to do right now, given the situation," Rio supported her as they took the steps down.

"For how long, I wonder?"

"We're good at waiting and being patient, aren't we?"

"But just what am I waiting for?" she wondered out loud. "I have to figure out what I want to do with my life."

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. The truth is – " she paused, getting a little shy here. "I always pictured myself becoming like Ma someday."

"Oh?"

"I mean, she always seemed happy to me. Don't you think?"

"She and Da loved each other. Sometimes I think more than they loved us."

"Rio, that's a terrible thing to say."

He became quiet, though Hannah wasn't sure he really regretted the words.

On the way back, Rio bought some cheap roadside food for lunch at home. As they ate, Hannah was already going through in her head all that she needed to do. She spent the entire day digging up boxes and throwing out things – without much help from Rio, who mostly napped.

As she was bundling up all her clothes, she came across one that didn't belong – Alyssa's borrowed dress. The sight of it gave her a painful start. What if Alyssa never came back to Dalen?

No, she couldn't allow herself to think that. Stefan would never give her up. Could he win against such a family though?

She thought of Macks, her only link to Stefan and Alyssa, and resisted the urge to go to him. As her brother had said, she could be good at patience.

By the next evening, Hannah had finished all her packing. All that was left to do was move it all.

"If I go to the station," Rio mused. "I might be able to loan a horse or two."

"Wouldn't you have to get permission from Macks?"

"Well, yes ... "

"Then forget it. I'd rather carry everything there myself."

"Is this some sort of stubborn pride?" he asked, wiggling his brows.

"It's not very much. We can handle it ourselves."

"Alright," he sighed. "Since you're so set on it."

It took them a few trips – and hours – to finish carrying her things over to Magda's, since they couldn't carry much at a time. "It's a good thing I'm not rich," Hannah tried to joke to her brother. "I'd have ten times this many clothes."

"If we were rich, we wouldn't be dragging ourselves through Dalen in the middle of the night like this. We'd have servants to do this for us."

"I hope that's not why you want to be rich – so you'd have the right to be lazy."

"Think about it. You've worked so hard all these years. Don't you think you deserve to rest?"

"Life doesn't work that way."

They made it to the tower, bringing inside the last of Hannah's things.

"Thank you," Rio said as she held a door open for him. That night's greeter was one of the elderly nuns, but as Hannah raised her eyes, she saw who else but Sister Vicki coming down the stairs to take over.

"Hannah?" her old friend called. "Is that you?"

"Sister Vicki!" she answered, relieved. "I was hoping I'd see you."

The other nun flitted off, apparently ignoring Hannah. Sister Vicki murmured something to her before coming down and looking Hannah over. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I'm coming back to the church."

"Oh?" she went, as Rio came in, bearing more of Hannah's things. "And your brother with you."

"I spoke to another Sister a few days ago. She said I could have the room next to my old one ... ?"

"Yes, I saw that note. Didn't realize it was you. Come on then, let me help you. There's three floors to get up." She took up a box from Rio as the three of them headed upstairs. "But why come back now? I thought you already had a place in town?"

"A lot's happened lately," Hannah said with a sigh. "Rio was the one who said I should try returning to the church. We were thinking maybe I could become a helper here for awhile?"

"I see. Well, we definitely need more help around Magda's. Unfortunately, not many of those who come in are really serious about staying."

Hannah said nothing to that. She knew how it must look, her switching and moving around between places so much these past few months. Then again, most of those had not been her fault or choice.

"How has everyone been since I left?" she asked, wanting to turn to something else. "How is Dana?"

"The same as always. Got her nose in her books."

"And Shelby? Have you seen her?"

"Ah, yes, she's the opposite, always running around, doing errands or helping the teachers. Does she know you're back to Magda's?"

"Not yet."

"Well, I'm sure she'll be happy to see you again. The two of you were getting on very well while you were around."

Hannah glanced at her brother, but his face was a blank mask. Should she consider that a good sign or a bad one?

"Right, here we are," Sister Vicki announced, leading them along the curved hall to Hannah's new room. "This feels familiar, doesn't it? Except you're next door this time."

They headed inside, and Hannah saw that the room was almost identical to her old one. The only difference was the angle of the town view, and the fact that she could see Magda's gardens from here. She took a moment, studying the beds and pots, the mess of tools and nets.

Well now. I wonder if perhaps I could ... ?

"Sister Vicki," Hannah spoke up, turning round.

"Hmm?"

"How about the gardens? Do they need helpers? I used to farm back in Chell."

"That's good."

"What do you think?"

"You should speak to Sister Marela yourself. She takes care of the gardens."

"Sounds perfect for you, Hannah," Rio mused.

"Well, I'll be going now, unless you happen to need anything else?"

"Actually," Rio turned to her. "I think I'd like to stay here in the tower tonight, if it's alright."

"Yes, I think I can arrange that."

Hannah made no argument as Sister Vicki led her brother out to search for a nearby room. She glanced over her bags and boxes lying on the floor, then dropped flat on the bed, feeling tired just thinking about it all.

Hannah Iver. What will you do with yourself?

Outside, she could hear Sister Vicki and her brother murmuring in discussion. She waited a while, then saw Sister Vicki going downstairs. Rio appeared a minute later, fixing himself in the doorway. "I'm three rooms down that way," he pointed.

"Alright."

"Are you going to sleep now?"

"Seems like it."

"I'm pretty tired myself," he related. He started towards one of the lamps, but Hannah waved him off.

"Leave them."

"Right, I forgot. You don't like the dark."

She rolled on her side, away from him, saying goodnight over her shoulder. She still couldn't believe she was back here in Magda's, she thought to herself, as Rio shut the door and padded down the hall outside. It felt like she was starting all over again. Perhaps she could see it as a chance to do things differently?

She thought of all her friends – Shelby, Alyssa, Kurt ... the Captain? She wasn't sure she would call him that, but she had to admit, he'd helped her and Rio a number of times. She couldn't help but wonder if he was like that with everyone, or if he happened to treat her and Rio specially.

The next morning, Hannah woke up feeling very well-rested, and could almost imagine she had never left Magda's in the first place. She got herself ready, trotting over to the third door from hers to find her brother. She wasn't sure whether to go in or knock – either way, she realized he was probably sleeping and it would be better not to wake him. Especially since she was determined to find Shelby this morning.

She took off down the stairs, and was greeted by some of the nuns. She liked to think that some of them remembered her, although more likely they were just being polite.

Hannah was one of the first into the dining hall; she checked the serving table but Shelby wasn't among the girls. She asked if her friend was in the kitchen, but received only shakes of the head.

So Hannah took up some breakfast and sat to wait in a corner. She watched every face that entered after the morning bell had gone, but never saw Shelby. And once she was finished, it seemed silly to stay there by herself, so she got up and started outside. That was when she happened to spot those young girls Shelby used to go around with – she couldn't for the life of her remember their names. She only remembered that they hadn't seemed to like her very much.

Steeling her nerves, she went over to ask where Shelby was. They didn't have the answer for her; they only knew that their friend had had 'something to do'.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say she was trying to avoid me," Hannah muttered to herself as she headed out into the main hall. Of course she knew that wasn't true. Sister Vicki had said herself Shelby was a busy, busy girl. Much like Rio, if she thought about it.

She looked towards the stairs, but didn't feel like going up to her room, didn't feel like unpacking just yet. She was restless if anything, and found herself drifting out the tower doors into the sun.

Unfortunately, the morning was cold, colder than yesterday – a sure sign of winter. Hannah glanced up to the sky collecting clouds and thought of Chell, hoping they would survive the next season without too much problem. She still would never forget the winter thieves, how they had taken away her Da. She would always fear and hate winter.

Hannah wrapped her arms around herself, wandering in the direction of the gardens. Not much else to do but to find this Sister Marela. She trailed along the wall, and found the old nun squatting among the rows, a hat tucking in her wiry hair.

Hannah cleared her throat, and she looked up.

"Hello," Hannah greeted. "Remember me?"

Slowly, the woman rose up, like a creaky old contraption unhinging. "No," she answered, her brows crooked. "Am I supposed to?"

"We spoke once, when I came to see your gardens. I'm Hannah."

She shrugged, either lost or not interested.

"Aren't you Sister Marela?"

"That I am."

"Well, I just came to stay at Magda's, and I'm likely going to be here for awhile – " She had to follow as Sister Marela started tottering away. "So I thought you might be able to use me as a helper. I used to work on the farm back home, since I was a girl."

"I don't need help."

Hannah blinked, surprised at the curtness of her words. "But I ... well, I mean, it seems like you're always alone here."

"So?"

"Isn't it a lot of work for one person?"

"I manage just fine. And besides, with winter coming, there won't be much to do. I've already done most of the planting."

"What about spring harvest?"

"I've gone through many a spring harvest, Miss."

"I could just do simple things. And I wouldn't have to start now. Next year would be fine. I'd just like to have something to do, something to keep my hands busy."

Sister Marela stopped, eyeing her. "I don't like anyone else touching my garden," she explained simply, flatly. "Never did, never will. Hope you understand."

Hannah said nothing, watching as Sister Marela made for the other side of the garden. She felt insulted, being turned down like that, but she didn't want to argue with an old nun.

She left, thinking to go round to the other side of Magda's, with the stone bench overlooking the water. As she drew close, she saw a pair of figures standing on the beach. Nothing interesting about that, except one was in the clothes of a student nun, and the other in the uniform of Dalen's guard. It was Shelby and her brother, she realized, with a small jolt. So this was where her friend was. But what was she doing talking with Rio? Hadn't she ... rejected him?

Hannah sank on the bench, making sure to keep low. There didn't seem to be anything passionate or

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