I KNEW I asked for it, but when Takoda went back to minding his business, it felt like everyone else did, too.

An hour later, numerous champagne glasses glittered beneath the strobing lights, laughter seemed to be pulsating through the floors, and the music had changed from fun and danceable to steamy and intimate, encouraging some pretty seductive moves from people on the dancefloor.

I couldn't count the number of times I shifted in my seat, or the number of times I let myself wonder why I let Coco drag me here. I was uncomfortable, I was sweating, I wasn't having fun, and I honestly wanted nothing more than to leave. Everyone had secluded themselves in groups I wasn't included in, and maybe I wasn't making enough of an effort to be noticed, but it still hurt. A simple, "Hey, Cleo, what do you think about wearing Spandex to a weekend club?" would've been nice.

On the other side of the table, Takoda and Robin kept whispering into each other's ears. Next to me, Coco kept occasionally tossing back shots with her arm linked through Natalie's. But I remained in my corner of the booth, my phone my only company. I'd opened Instagram ten times already.

Reaching forward, I pulled a bottle out of the ice bucket that had been generously dropped off about twenty minutes ago and poured myself another glass. I said I wasn't drinking tonight, but as time crawled by, it got harder to just sit here and do nothing. And the bottles were right there, staring at me like old, familiar friends.

Wine fizzed its way down my throat as I downed the entire glass in one go, and Coco looked at me, like she'd done the last six or so times. I got the message. You shouldn't be drinking this much. I know I do it, but you should slow down.

Sorry, Coco. This was my version of fun.

Normally, I'd be looking out for her, but I just felt too exhausted to even think about taking care of anyone right now. Not even myself.

I returned my attention to the dancefloor as the song changed to yet another steamy one, and this one was familiar. I'd heard it in several Reels and TikToks. The bass thrummed and thrummed until I could feel my body vibrating with it, and it took me a second too long to realize that I was already past tipsy.

I poured myself yet another glass.

"Hey," Coco said suddenly, raising her voice above the music and placing a hand over mine. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes seemed more alert than I thought they should've been. "Are you okay?"

I rolled my eyes playfully, managing to make myself slightly dizzy, and tipped the bottle towards my glass. "I'm fine."

"You're drinking way too much."

"So are you," I shouted back.

"Well, that's different. I'm sitting here as your older sister, so I can't let you keep on doing this."

I raised the glass in my shaky hand with a watery smile and said, "Well, I might as well have this one, right?"

She didn't respond, and I took her silence as a yes, throwing my head and the wine back. Once the fizziness died from my throat, I brought the glass down a little too harshly, and it thunked against the wood, drawing my "friends'" attention. Robin seemed to be surprised when she looked at me for the first time in an hour and a half, and maybe it was because of the alcohol in my system, but I didn't care this time.

"Hey, guys. I'm still here," I said with a smile, my tongue tripping over my words a bit.

One of Coco's friends instantly reached over to touch my sister's arm. "You know, I just realized she never actually goes out with us. I barely remembered she was here."

Something must've been funny about what she said, because they all—except Takoda, who was also the only one that hadn't had a drop to drink tonight, as per usual—laughed, agreeing with what she said. I took that as my cue to get out of there, rising to my feet a bit clumsily and staggering due to the sudden lightheadedness I felt.

"Whoa." Coco grabbed my arm to steady me. "Take it easy, Cleo. Sit down."

I made sure I could stand on my own before pulling my arm out of her grip and tightening my free hand around my phone. "It's fine," I announced. "I just need to get some air. I'm a little too intoxicated to be around you guys right now."

A weird silence befell the booth, and if I wasn't as out of my element as I was, I probably would've noticed the fault in my tone and apologized.

"Excuse me," I said to my sister, and she looked at me for a moment, as if thinking about it, then quietly moved aside. There was something off about her expression, but I didn't have the energy—or enough space in my mind, to be honest—to think about it.

I brushed past the others, ignoring the weight of Takoda's eyes as they bored into the side of my face, and didn't slow down as I staggered my way through sweaty people, until I stepped outside and a blast of cool air hit me square in the face.

My shoulders instantly sagged, and I drew in a shaky breath. Drew in another one. Then I started walking, my mind swimming with all sorts of thoughts. I couldn't locate the exact source of my mood, but when I tried to think back to what it was like in that building, all I could picture was his face. Whispering and laughing with Robin.

Are we just gonna pretend we don't know each other better than this?

Oh, we knew each other, all right. We knew each other better than two people probably should've. It was impulsive, mutually beneficial, something to pass time with. Until it wasn't. Until I showed him that scar on my palm from when I'd hurt myself a few years back. Until he showed me the faint one on his back, gotten after a biking accident when he was little. Until he told me the name his grandma always called him—Paytah—and how it meant fire, and how it always made him feel like he wasn't doing enough. Until I admitted to being barely able to speak French. Until I told him about my inferiority complex. Until I stopped feeling like doing all the things we were doing, started feeling like just talking to him, instead. For minutes and hours and days, even. I started getting interested in knowing Takoda Calebs, in peeling off all his layers.

But he'd taken me for a fool. He'd taken me for a fool, then disappeared for six months. Now he was back and for some reason, he thought everything was okay. He thought it was all in the past and we could stop pretending we didn't know each other the way we did.

He could laugh. He was happy. And I was here, just floating around—

"Excuse me," I said to the young lady before I could even register her, and it took her a moment to notice me. Her grip on her partner's arm tightened like she was wary of me. "Are you gonna have that?" I gestured to the bottle dangling off her free hand.

She looked down at her hand with her eyebrows raised, and I was only vaguely aware that I was making a fool of myself.

I wiped a hand beneath my wet nose as I waited for her response, and she just kept staring at me like I was a psychopath. After a moment of just standing there, her partner gently tugged her in the opposite direction.

"Yeah, screw you, too," I mumbled under my breath before continuing on my way, trying to spot someone else with a bottle of wine to spare.

I didn't know why I felt the need to drink, but it was strangely the only thing I wanted to accommodate right now.

"Excuse me," I tried again, with a different pair this time. The two girls were leaning against a hot pink—hot pink—Cadillac, and the moment they looked over, they let out a collective gasp.

"Oh my gosh, Cleo!" one of them said, sounding more excited than I thought anyone would be after seeing me.

"That's me. Do you maybe have a bottle of wine I could borrow?"

"Wine?" the second one, a platinum blonde like me, but with streaks of blue in her hair, asked.

"Yeah. My sister stopped me from having mine 'cause she suddenly wants to be the responsible big sister."

"Coco's here, too?"

"And the rest of the bunch. Do you have wine?"

The first girl reached into the car and pulled out a bottle of red wine that had a cute bow wrapped around the neck. "We were saving this for later, but you can have it."

"Yeah, we can totally get another one."

"Wow," I said as I took it from her. "You guys are so sweet."

"Can we . . ." Platinum Blonde trailed off, lifting her lit-up phone. "Can we maybe get a selfie?"

She looked a little hesitant, so I understood her shock when I suddenly shouted, "Of course! I can take a selfie." I was moving to stand between the both of them before I was done talking, and the alcohol in my system made this more attractive than it should've been. I loved taking pictures, not getting my pictures taken, which was a shame because there were constantly cameras in my face.

I placed my arms over their shoulders and pulled them close, holding the wine up for good measure. My smile looked sloppy in the girl's phone, but I didn't care. It was a sign of a happy youth. Nothing less.

"Thank you so much," she squealed after we were done, and I detached myself from them, already sick of standing there.

"You're welcome. Thanks for the wine!"

As I walked away, I heard them squeal excitedly behind me, and the sound tore through the haze in my mind, making me feel even lighter.

I don't remember how exactly I got there, but I ended up getting wasted in one of the gender-neutral bathrooms. I sat in a stall, on a closed toilet, and drank until I couldn't recognize left from right. And the drunker I got, the clearer things became, ironically.

I listened to the sound of my breathing for a moment, after the bottle was empty and lying at my feet, staring at the artistic door. The party was nothing but the memory of a slightly disturbing dream now, the music faded, like a headache that was slowly going away. I felt pathetic, miserable, like a loser, because look at me.

I was Cleo Lavigne, the daughter of one of the richest men in the world, the sister to one of the richest young women in the world, and I was sitting in a bathroom that smelled like piss and vomit at midnight, drinking myself senseless. All because of a guy that didn't deserve it.

Maybe it was because I barely got the chance to cry over it when it happened, too occupied and too stunned to react, but hot tears filled my eyes all of a sudden, right when I thought I was starting to feel calm, and without even thinking about it, I let them go.

All this anger, all this resentment, weakened to sadness until the only thing I could do was cry about it.

This wasn't me. I never cried.

I was Cleobelle effing Lavigne.

Quicker than it started, I drew in another shaky breath and wiped beneath my eyes with my damp palms, forgetting about my makeup until I saw the mascara stain on my hands. Whatever.

Barely twenty seconds later, the tears came back, even hotter than before. I was having an emotional breakdown, that much was clear at this point. What wasn't was why it had to revolve around stupid Takoda and his stupid face.

I didn't leave the bathroom, not even when it felt like the club was starting to go quiet. Night Shift was a sundown-to-sunrise club, so I knew there were still a few hours of party time left before everyone retired, but everywhere seemed relatively quiet now.

It wasn't until much later that my phone started vibrating with multiple texts from everyone. My vision was too blurry, so I couldn't read them, but I knew Coco texted first, then Robin. The texts continued coming through for a few more seconds, then my phone went silent. Only for it to ring a beat later and startle me. If the toilet had been open, I probably would've dropped it in.

My sister's caller ID was displayed on my screen, and I rolled my eyes before declining the call. I just wanted everyone to leave me the fuck alone. Was that too much to ask?

She probably predicted that something like this was going to happen, anyway. That was the main reason we attended parties while filming. Aside from the whole "this is how we live" thing, everyone knows there's bound to be one form of drama or the other at a party. This was drama. They were probably looking for me or something.

I shifted my weight so I was sitting on the edge of the toilet and could lean my head against the wall, suddenly exhausted. I think I drifted off into a hazy but dreamless sleep for a bit, because I sort of lost consciousness before being brought back by the sound of my name.

There was a fine sheen of sweat on my face, and the voice was a little faraway at first, coming from somewhere deep beneath the buzz in my skull, but I eventually came to.

A warm hand had been placed on my knee, and I could see it through my watery eyes, but my arms felt numb—so much that I couldn't tell where exactly they were—so it kind of jolted me when I heard the voice again, deeper, closer.

"Cleo."

I jerked away from his touch for a moment before actually seeing who he was. "Shit," I mumbled, clumsily adjusting my dress with a shaky hand so it covered more of my thighs. It had ridden up sometime between me getting drunk and spontaneously dozing off.

Takoda was crouching in front of me, one hand on my knee, the other—which I just noticed—holding one side of my now limp hair away from my face. I'd stayed away from extensions tonight, and I was sweating more than usual, so my hair felt like overcooked sphaghetti on my head.

"We were looking for you," he said, voice soft.

I looked at him, into his very sober eyes, and immediately felt like a fool. My hands were still trembling. "That's fun. You guys were pissing me off."

He stared at me for a second, securing the strands he was holding back behind my ear with extreme care. "You're burning up, Cleo. You need to get some air and water."

I shoved his hand away from my face. "I don't want air or water."

"Come on, Cleo."

"No." I whined. "I don't wanna move. I just—I just wanna stay here. Right where I am."

"Are you feeling sick?" he asked, shuffling closer to me. His hand was still on my knee, and I was suddenly very aware of it. Heat was generating between his touch and my skin at an incredibly fast rate, and, strangely, I kind of liked it.

"I don't think so. I'm sweating." To punctuate my sentence, I wiped my palm over my forehead.

"Then let me take you outside."

My eyes started to drift closed again, and he gently tapped my cheek, cupping my face with warm hands.

"Clee."

My body felt light, like it could be carried away on a light breeze, and I found myself leaning forward until I'd placed my head on his shoulder. His body went stiff beneath me, and we remained that way for a second before he took a hold of my upper arms.

"Come on, let's go outside."

My face pressed into his shoulder, I mumbled, "I've missed you." He didn't say anything. I continued. "I know I shouldn't, but I miss you, and you were laughing—laughing so much. I couldn't take it. Everyone was happy. So happy. I can't. I'm just—I'm just not happy, you know. Everyone was happy."

"I wasn't."

"Liar. You always lie to me."

"Cleo."

I hummed in response, snuggling closer and breathing him in. "You smell nice."

His hands went loose around me, and for a few heartbeats, everything was just quiet. I was this close to falling asleep again when a memory suddenly hit me, and I lifted a hand to place on his free shoulder. Just like earlier, he seemed to go completely rigid beneath me.

"Do you remember," I started, "that day we were on the roof?"

Takoda was silent for a moment, then he responded, "You still remember that?"

I couldn't tell if I snorted or laughed. "We had our first kiss there. It was . . . like a movie. And I remember—I remember asking you if we were being stupid. Do you remember what you said?"

More silence, then I became aware of his skin against mine again. Warm and so, so warm.

"Of course not," he whispered, and I found the strength to pull away from him. I wanted to look at his face, feeling like crying again.

"You said, of course not," I mimicked. "And I believed you."

He got this weird glaze in his eyes, kind of like he wanted to cry, too, and I took a lock of his hair just like I used to and twirled it around my finger. It was just as soft as I remembered.

"I believed you," I whispered.

He was about to say something when someone else joined us, opening the door and letting blinding light into the room. I squinted, thinking it would help, but it only seemed to make my eyes hurt more.

"Ow."

"Coco, close the door."

"God, how long has she been in here?"

I felt another presence beside me as the question was asked. I can't imagine how the three of us fit in one bathroom stall.

"Probably the whole time. She was asleep when I found her."

"Cleo," she called, placing a warm hand on my cheek, and I hummed in response. Her warmth was different from Takoda's, and I could register that, even while drunk. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm sweating," I told her, still transfixed by the texture of Takoda's hair. I could run my fingers through it all day.

"Let's go get some air then."

I refused, shaking my head no before placing it back on his shoulder. He helped me unwind his hair from my finger before gently grabbing my upper arms again and rising to his feet, taking me along with him. Begrudgingly, I cooperated.

"I need to call Dad," I said the moment we started walking. My sister had decided to be in the lead, walking in front of us while Takoda wrapped an arm around me from my right side.

"You can call him later. He's asleep right now," Coco said.

We were slow about getting to the car, and Coco kept talking in hushed whispers, like she was afraid someone was going to hear her. I knew when I was directed into the limo, when Takoda's warmth left me, when Coco sat next to me. What I wasn't expecting was for everything to suddenly feel bleak without him.

So I pushed Coco's hand off when she tried to push my hair back.

"No. I want Takoda to sit next to me."

I felt, rather than saw, her pause. "What?"

"I want Takoda to sit next to me."

"Are you sure? He came with his own car."

"Let someone else drive it. I want him."

"Um . . . okay."

She disappeared for a few minutes, and when she returned, she did with Takoda. Immediately, I scooted over to give him room even though the seat was practically empty.

"Sit here." I patted the spot next to me, before reaching for his hands and tugging him down.

He did as I said without protesting or asking questions, and on the ride back, I placed my head against his shoulder after making sure one of his arms were around me. The whole time, I could feel his fingers gently massaging my scalp, and it was the most peace I'd felt all year.