Promise Me: Chapter 45

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Chapter 45

Surprisingly, the rest of the week flowed by uneventfully.  On Wednesday, Hannah and Justin drove to the hospital to see her mother, who was barely cognizant.

Lawna opened her eyes as soon as Hannah entered her hospital room, but had difficulty keeping them that way.  "Hannah," she whispered faintly.  "You're here...doctor said you...would be..."

An ache formed behind Hannah's eyes, seeing her mother this way.  A bandage covered most of her skull, her hair clearly shaved completely off.  An oxygen tube stuck out from her nose, not to mention the intravenous tube and the heart and the brainwave monitors.  A thin, frail, pale, weak body lay under a white sheet, and to Hannah, it was a nightmare.  She visited her father many times during those last few weeks, and he had looked very much like this.  Her heart could not allow her to feel any kind of hatred or disappointment for her mother.  It just wasn't in her anymore.

"Yes, I'm here, Momma," she choked out as she clutched Lawna's thin fingers.  "I'm here."

"Momma," Lawna repeated quietly with a small smile.  Her eyes fluttered open once more.  "How I've wished...longed...to hear that..."

Hannah swallowed against her threatening tears.  "How do you feel?"

"Tired...so tired..."

And with that, Lawna drifted off to sleep again.  Justin's hand gently closed over Hannah's shoulder, and she broke down, turning to hide her face in his chest.  He held her silently and assuredly until the doctor came in to talk to them.  It was pretty much the same spill as the day before, except that the doctor in charge of her recovery explained that Lawna had already insisted on beginning her rudimentary rehabilitation skills, which explained why she was so tired at the moment.  She’d spent the morning repeating simple skills and it had exhausted her.  “She’s determined,” the doctor said with pride in his voice.  “She’s a fighter.”

Hannah was proud of her, too.

After visiting for a little while longer, they left a note for Lawna explaining Hannah's travel plans to Georgia and that she would be back again soon.  They picked up Josie from Kim’s greenhouses, dropped off Hannah at work to finish payroll before the employees revolt, and to the lawyer’s office, Justin went.  All the paperwork for Josie’s parental declaration was filed, and Jack Bruens made arrangements for a new court date during October in Georgia.

They did not hear from Beth that day.

On Thursday, the trio -- Justin, Josie, and Hannah -- hopped a plane to Atlanta and drove over to Savannah in a rental car, leaving her house renovation in Rufus’ care and the guinea pigs in Kim’s.  Josie tried to be very brave about flying, but Hannah and her father could tell she was scared out of her wits.  Justin vowed to her that they would drive back, if she felt she could not do that again.  That whole day was used up with the traveling and the settling down in their condo.

No word from Beth once again.

On Friday, Justin met with his employees about the new situation, concerning his relocation to Arkansas and Chad taking over management duties.  He received positive feedback on the change.  In fact, many of his co-workers were thrilled that he had met someone and fallen in love -- though he didn’t exactly tell them that, but the emotion was written all over his face when he spoke of Hannah.

Hannah and Josie spent the afternoon exploring Tybee Island.  They shopped.  They did some sightseeing.  They laughed and sunbathed.  Hannah stood at the edge of the water, the softly lapping waves tickling her toes, and she smiled.  

He’s leaving all this for me.

That felt so good.  His home was beautiful.  Savannah was beautiful.  Tybee Island was quaint and lovely.  The view across the ocean was breathtaking.  There were no places like this in the middle of Arkansas, that was for sure.  And Justin was leaving all this for her.  

Josie giggled as she splashed Hannah with the sea, and Hannah’s thoughts turned back to the fun-loving girl.  So far, Justin had not mentioned the two of the marrying since he declared his love for her.  All he spoke about was getting his life straightened out so they could spend their lives together.  What that meant, exactly, Hannah wasn’t sure, but for now, it was enough.  Here and now, he kept telling her and Josie.  Here and now.  

Once they settled down for the night on Friday, Hannah curled up into Justin’s arms after a sweet bout of lovemaking and fell asleep with such love and happiness in her heart, she couldn’t imagine how anything or anyone could possibly destroy this.  

On Saturday morning, she discovered just how wrong she could be.

*****

“Justin!  What the f*ck?!” a female -- Hannah assumed it was female -- voice screeched through the phone.  “I always thought you were a heartless bastard, but now, you’ve gone too far!”

Justin and Josie had gone down to swim laps in the pool, and Hannah had been standing at the window, three stories up, watching the two of them together.  She had a slight sunburn from the previous day and didn’t want to make it worse, but Justin seemed tense about something, so he was now submerging his tanned, muscular body into the crystal clear water of the condo complex’s pool, effortlessly gliding from one end to the other, over and over.  It was beauty in motion.  The man had some serious sex-appeal, even from the distance.

The phone had rung, and Hannah answered it.

“I’m sorry,” Hannah said into the receiver.  “Who is this?”

“Who is this?”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Beth had finally called Justin.  Hannah took a deep breath and said, “I’m a friend of Justin’s, and you must be Beth.”

A shrill laugh echoed in Hannah’s ear.  “Oh my god!  I swear that man must be f*cking a b*tch in every city he visits!”

This was the woman Josie called mother?  No wonder the girl didn’t want anything to do with her.

“No,” Hannah replied calmly, “just one b*tch, but he takes me everywhere.”

There was a slight pause...and then, "Ah...Hannah Baker.  I always assumed you would sound, I don't know...younger."

Hannah cocked an eyebrow at the slight reflection in the living room window.  Younger?  What was wrong with how she sounded?

"So..." Beth continued, her own voice sugary sweet now.  "You're my replacement.  It won't last, you know.  They never do.  What did my handsome ex-husband promise you?  Did he give you that line about not giving up on him, 'on us', and then showered you with expensive gifts?  God, he really needs to get a new act.  Not that I ever minded the gifts, but the persistent whining!  That got old quick.  Nothing was ever good enough for that man!”

Some very snide remarks flowed through Hannah’s mind -- “You were never good enough.”  -- but she kept them to herself.  Instead, she said, “Would you like to leave a message for Justin?  He’s not here right now.”

“A message?  A polite, little b*tch, aren't  you?  Yeah, I have a message for him,” Beth said, returning to her angry screeching.  “You can tell him to f*ck himself, but I’m sure you’re already taking care of that, aren’t you, sweetie?  I wonder...has he gotten any better in the sack?  God knows, he never satisfied me!  A man with no skills at foreplay, that's for damn sure!  I'd feel sympathy for you, but he's your problem now--"

Did she ever shut up?

"--The only thing I want from him is Josie, and that sonofab*tch knew I was coming to see her, but he took her away again.  I flew all the way to this godforsaken place and this stupid, redneck farm he loves so much to get a hug and kiss from my daughter, and the only goddamn thing I got was horse sh*t on my favorite Jimmy Choos.  Well, I've had enough!  He forgets that I know where he lives.  I know where his parents’ live, and I’ll find out where you live.  I always get what I want.  He can’t keep Josie away from me forever.  I have a right--”

Hannah stopped listening after that.  Justin had emerged from the pool downstairs, and her attention was focused on the glittery droplets of water falling off his broad shoulders and chest.  Shoulders and a chest that Hannah had touched and kissed and massaged many times.  Beth could insult him and threaten him all she wanted, but Hannah knew that man down there.  She knew the beat of his heart like it was her own.  She knew the feel of his skin and the touch of his gentle hands.  He was good to the core.  He’d just been burned by the one woman on the phone.  Hannah was working toward healing his wounds, and she was proud of him for taking a chance on love again, but after only a moment of listening to Beth, she understood why he fought against their love and attraction for so long.  

Beth was a monster.

“Are you listening to me?!”

Hannah grimaced at the horrible wail to Beth’s voice.  How in the world had Justin stood it all those years?  It was a good thing that there was a phone line between them.  If Hannah had to listen to that woman’s voice in person, she might have to stuff some cotton in Beth’s mouth and tape it shut.  With duct tape.  The good stuff.  Twice.

Josie climbed up on the high dive and sailed off, flipping once, and entering the water with barely a ripple.  Did that girl ever do anything with a flaw?  Hannah was amazed at her everyday.  She was amazing.  And it was extremely amazing that Josie was as wonderful as she was with Beth as her mother.  

Hannah was proud of Josie, too.

“I’ll relate your message to Justin when he returns,” Hannah said absentmindedly.

“You’ll tell him right now!  Where is he anyway?”

“Not here,” Hannah said, losing patience with Beth.

“Like hell he isn’t!  If I know anything about him, it’s that he never let’s Josie out of his sight--”

Only where you’re concerned.

“-- and he never let Josie go anywhere or do anything fun.  So, I know he’s there.  Put him on the phone right now.”

Hannah rolled her eyes.  What could Beth possibly do about it?  “Thank you for calling,” Hannah said and hung up.

Ten seconds later, the phone rang again.

Why, you little b*tch--

Hannah hung up again and unplugged it.  She knew she shouldn’t have answered it a second time, but it was kind of fun hanging up on the woman.

She never said a word to Justin -- and especially not Josie -- about the call.  Even when he asked why the phone was unplugged.  Hannah just shrugged.  He knew.  Josie knew.  It was in their eyes.  But they just smiled and went about their afternoons.  

Thank goodness, Beth didn’t have any of their cell phone numbers.

Yet.

*****

That night, Hannah emerged from the bathroom after her shower, a towel tucked around her body, and spied Justin sitting on the edge of the bed.  He was studying his hands, rubbing at the spot below the knuckle of one particular finger on the left hand.

Hannah halted in her tracks.  Something was wrong here.  And it didn’t have anything to do with Mr. and Mrs. Kirkland calling earlier.  Justin’s parents were spitting mad that Beth had shown up at their farm, and they had no idea she would be trying to contact Josie.  It had not been a pleasant conversation...even the part that Hannah got to hear.

Justin lifted his head and solemnly said, “We need to talk.”

Four words no woman liked to hear from the man she was dating.

“Okay, talk,” she said, moving over to her suitcase to pull her pajamas out.  “I’m listening.”

“I didn’t want to worry you, but when I met with Jack Bruens the other day, he told me some things that can’t happen for sure for at least another year, and I guess you should be prepared.”

Hannah started dressing, though her heart was hammering in her chest.  “Some things...concerning Beth?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Beth is not going to give up...even with Josie declaring her independence from her mother, she has to be vacant from Josie’s life for a whole year before we are completely done with her.  But in that time, she will still fight me tooth and nail to get Josie.  It’s how she is...I’m sure you know that by now, don’t you?”

Hannah frowned.  He meant the phone call she hadn’t told him about.  “I have an idea what she’s like.”

“I thought you might,” he said, standing up to approach her.  “Hannah...I love you and I’m rearranging my whole life for you, but...”

“But it’s all you can do right now,” she finished for him.  “Justin, I understand.  I never really wanted to rush you into anything.  I’ve told you that--”

“I know,” he said, placing his hands along her arms.  “But sometimes I feel like...like...”

She smiled up at him.  “Like it’s all going to blow away if you don’t bolt it down now?”

“You feel it, too?”

“I try not to dwell too much on it,” she replied softly.  “We went through the same issue with loving each other, so just know that when you do ask, I’ll say yes.”

He let out a breath he’d been holding.  “Hannah, I need to be sure nothing will screw this up for us.  Not this time.  A whole year...I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

She stretched up and kissed him.  “Don’t worry, Justin.  Nothing will screw this up for us.  We can wait to get married when the time is right.”

He blinked.  

Oh, crap.  

Hannah took a step back.  “That is what you’re talking about, right?  Us getting married?”

“Of course,” he answered quickly -- too quickly.  “Among other things.”

Oh, double crap.  “What other things?”

He shoved his fingers through his hair.  “Ah, hell, Hannah...of course, I plan to ask you to marry me.  I figured you knew that.  I don’t tell every woman I meet that I love them.”

“What other things?”

He stared at her for a long time, and then he...grinned.  “I am going to ask you to marry me, Songbird -- I’m not waiting a whole damn year for that -- but I haven’t had much opportunity to get you a ring and drop down to a knee--”

“You know you don’t have to do all that,” she interrupted.  

“Uh huh,” he said, still grinning.  “Is that what you thought in Memphis?  When I got down before you in that rose garden?”

Hannah thought back to that night.  She had assumed he would tell her he loved her...and wanted to marry her.  She couldn’t be quite sure about that last part, but it was all connected in her mind.  Love, marriage.  Family.  Not necessarily in that order, because let’s face it, there was nothing ordinary about her family.  Or the love it brings.  Or marriage with love, or marriage for family.  Or anything.  But Hannah refused to settle for anything less than the three.  However they happen.

“Okay, fine,” she huffed, because he was right.  “Yes, for once, I’d like to have something simple and traditional, even a proposal.  Is there something wrong with that?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head with amusement.  “I knew that’s what you really wanted, so I’m trying to make it happen, but it’s been a rough week.”

“I know.”

“Give me a little more time, Sweetheart.”

Hannah sighed thoroughly.  “Time is one of those luxuries we can’t seem to get a hold of.”

“We have all the time in the world, but other things are weighing on my mind, and I do need more time for those.”

“Okay, tell me.  What other things?”

He took a second or two to pull her hair out of the band holding it on top of her head and ran his fingers through the damp strands.  “Well...for starters, I wanted to know if you’d give up your birth control.  I want us to have babies.  Lots of babies.  But I was afraid of asking before we got married, because there's been enough babies conceived out of wedlock around here, and I didn't think that you’d not want to have any right away, anyway, because of your new singing career.  And then I was going to ask you to adopt Josie as your own.  That’s what will take a year.  I’m sorry...I wasn’t very clear.  I don’t want Beth to have any part of Josie’s life anymore.”

She stared at him.  There was a lot to think about in that little speech of this, but she focused on one particular tidbit.  Adopt Josie?  Yes, she wanted Josie!  

He sighed, just as heavily as she had, probably hearing more from her silence than she intended, but she was speechless.  Her heart was expanding.  He was giving her Josie, too.  

“Sweetheart, I know I’m asking a lot from you by waiting for it all to come together.  Taking on me and a fully grown daughter at the same time...hell, if only other women were as patient as you about things.  I’m also thinking it might sound selfish to you, but by marrying you, loving you, giving you children, you adopting Josie, I get everything I ever wanted.  I just want it all now, and I know I can’t.  It’s frustrating.”

Hannah continued to stared at him.

He went back to grinning at the look on her face.  “You going to call me Jack now?”

“Your lawyer’s name is Jack,” she responded vaguely.  

“I know...poor guy.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, taking in everything he said.  Okay, yes, it was selfish of him to want to marry her and have a family with her, and her adopt Josie, but was that a bad thing?  It was all the things she wanted, too.  Hannah had no desire to let Beth into any part of Josie’s life either.  

“Come with me,” she said, taking his elbow and leading him into the master bathroom -- which was big enough for three of her bathrooms back home.

“What are we doing?”

“Come on...I’ll show you.”  She reached the vanity sink, dug through her make-up bag and pulled out her pill box.  She opened it.  There were only three left for this cycle.  Without thinking anymore about it, she dumped all three pink pills into the toilet and flushed it.

Justin watched her in silence.  Then he said, “Are you sure?”

Hannah turned to him with her fists on her hips.  “Kim’s baby will be born in April, if all things go well.  You’re giving me a year for you to sort everything out, but I’m taking the first step in making sure it happens.  It’ll take me about a year to rid my body completely of the birth control hormones.  But I’m counting on your little guys to do their job.  This time next year, I better be pregnant.”

“What if you get pregnant before we’re married?”

Hannah glared at him.  “Do I look like I care about that?”

“No.”

“Then will it be a problem to get married by this time next year?”

“Well...no...but what about your singing?”

Hannah rolled her eyes.  “First of all, I never really planned to sing professionally.  Not since I was younger.  I like to sing.  I like to write songs.  But that kind of life isn’t for me.  Not with all the travel and celebrity crap.  I want a baby, Justin.  And you’re going to give me one.  If you can be selfish about things, then so can I.  I can have a baby and still record and write songs.”

Lots of babies,” he corrected.

She grinned.  “Yes, lots of babies...but define lots.  Two?  Three?”

“Six.”

Hannah lost her grin.  “Six?  I’ll be pregnant until I’m forty-five!  And where would we put them all?  My house only has three bedrooms.”

“We’ll remodel the attic,” he said.  “My treat.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m serious, alright.  I’ve seen how you are with Josie.  You’re a natural mother, Hannah.  When Josie was born, Beth immediately avoided any duties or responsibilities with her.

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