Chapter 16

Justin shoved her away, rupturing all contact between their bodies.  “Enough!” he yelled.  “Goddammit, Hannah!”

She shuddered and fell to her knees, her eyes completely fogged over.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered raggedly.

Justin had to put more space between them.  He backed away, holding his hands up to ward off whatever spell she wove around him.  “Shit!  Don’t apologize!  You’ll just make it worse!”

“I’m sorry,” she said anyway, running a hand over her eyes, down her nose and tracing her wet, swollen lips with a fingertip.  He let out another curse...not even sure which one it was, but it was a loud one.

“Why did you let me do that?!” he roared.

Her head shook side to side, still dazed.  “I...don’t know...”

“Dammit!  Don’t ever let me do that again!”

Her head swung again in a No, but she said, “Okay.”  And she was still on the ground, staring off at nothing as she licked her bottom lip, sucking it between her teeth.

“Okay?  Okay?!  Sonofa...!  Quite licking your lips before I do it for you!”

“Okay,” she said again, that same out-of-focus tone to her voice.  There was a pretty flush to her skin and her hands fluttered over her thighs, trembling uncontrollably.

I did that to her, his inner beast bellowed smugly.  Justin wanted to punch it.  “And stop agreeing with me!”

“Okay,” she breathed out with a moan.  Her hands finally settled down and she slumped off her knees, plopping her shapely rear on the patio.

“For god’s sake!  Hannah, get up!”

She blinked up at him.  “Why?  And why are you yelling at me?”

He scrubbed his fingers through his hair in frustration.  Just leave.  Walk away, get in your truck and leave.  “Because I’ve never had a woman nearly pass out on me because I kissed her!”

“Oh,” she replied quietly, nodding in agreement.  “I see what you mean.  That’s a shame, though.  Your kiss could run for President, too.”

And with that...Justin started laughing.  Damn.  It really was too difficult to hate her.  She smiled at him, no longer dazed -- okay, maybe there was a tint of daze still left in her eyes -- but she wasn’t pissed that he yelled at her.  He was a little disappointed at that, though.  He kind of liked seeing her all worked up.

Gently, so to not startle her, or make her think he was about to kiss her again, he moved toward her and helped her to her feet.  She swayed drunkenly, clutching his forearm for support and grinning like silly.  “Whoa...I feel like I’ve gone a round with Jose Cuervo.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said with a smirk.

“It was meant as one,” she replied with the same expression.  “Now...I believe you were leaving.”

“Kicking me out already?”

“You were kicking yourself out, if I recall,” she said as she moved away from him.  “Something about a shower.  I could use one myself, so you should scoot.”

“I suppose you’re eagerness for me to leave has nothing to do with the fact that I kissed you,” he prompted.  She started gathering their meal leavings off the table and shrugged at his comment.

“Since I’m still confused as to why you kissed me again...or even the first time, I’ll let you make your own conclusions.”  She piled what she could in the wicker basket and turned to face him.  “But if it was another one of your tests, then I think I’ll drop that class.  I don’t have the time or the mind-frame to be your lab monkey.  I enjoyed the kisses -- very much so -- but I’d rather you not do it again.  It’ll be too weird, since Josie considers me to be her friend, and since you’ll both be leaving for your home in a few days.”

Justin shifted his stance, settling his weight on one leg as he considered her.  She spoke honestly and clearly.  Just because they shared a few intimate moments, she wasn’t expecting him to follow through with a relationship.  In fact, she practically discouraged it.  Which was what he wanted...right?  He didn’t want to get involved with anyone right now, especially Hannah Baker.  He needed to heal the relationship he had with his daughter first.  Then he could consider finding a woman to spend the rest of his life with.  And it wouldn’t be Hannah.  Like she pointed out, they lived in different states.  Once he left to go back to Savannah, he’d probably never see her again.

“Alright,” he said after a moment of them staring at each other.  “You summed up the situation quite nicely.  It would be pointless to kiss you again.”

“I agree,” she said, nodding.

“Well, then...thank you.”

Her chin rose slightly, but he didn’t know what that meant.  She replied with a calm, “You’re welcome.”

And he left her backyard, got into his truck and drove to his parent’s farm house for a quick shower, shave and change of fresh clothes.  I should have kissed her again anyway.

*****

Hannah fell into robot mode.  She cleaned up their dinner mess.  She loaded the dishwasher.  She folded some laundry.  She took a shower.  She played with the guinea pigs.  

She kept herself busy for the next two hours, doing everything but thinking about Justin’s kiss.  The second kiss.  In less than twenty-four hours.  And it was even better than the first.  Which shouldn’t be possible.  The first kiss blew her top off.  The second burst her top, her bottom and everything in between.

“Why did you let me do that?” he had yelled at her.

“Why, indeed?” she asked herself as she dressed to go see Josie.  She chose to wear a dress...a cute little number in a rosy pink color, and it wasn’t because she’d see Justin again!  Not at all.  A woman could wear a dress for any number of reasons.  Like...she had shaved her legs, and it would be a shame to cover them in a pair of jeans.  She could wear shorts.  But that would mean finding a shirt to go with it.  A dress was so much more convenient.  One piece.  Less time getting dressed.  More time to spend on a little make-up and running a curling iron through her hair.  Maybe she could call Kim afterward, and they could go out for a drink together.

A good enough reason to slip the cotton sheath over her body and add some dangly earrings to go with it.

Then she looked in her mirror and thought, Crap, he’s gonna think I dressed up for him.

“Well, I’m not taking it off,” she said to her reflection.  She’d just call Kim now.  Then she’d tell Justin Kirkland she was going out with a girlfriend -- if he asked -- and that would be her reason.

Dialing Kim’s cell phone, Hannah paced in her bedroom, wondering what shoes she should wear.  Nothing too flashy...not like she had anything flashy, but she owned a few heels from her auditioning days.

“Hey, Hannah,” Kim answered, “How’s our little angel doing?”

“Josie’s doing fine,” Hannah said.  “She should be out of the hospital tomorrow, I think.”

“That’s great.  I was hoping to go by and see her tonight.”

Perfect, Hannah thought with a smile.  “How convenient,” Hannah laughed into her phone.  “I was hoping you’d like to join me for a drink after I see Josie tonight.  We can leave together.”

“Oh...I was meeting Mark tonight,” Kim said, and Hannah deflated -- Shorts and a t-shirt, it is.  “But you can come along, if you want.”

“Thanks, but no,” Hannah sighed.  “I don’t want to invade your date.”

Kim laughed.  “Invade away, sweetie,” she said.  “Mark brought his grandson with him on our last date...a real killjoy, I tell you.”

“Gee, thanks.  I love it when I’m compared to a ten-year-old.”

“I consider you to be a little more mature than a boy playing on his iPod the whole time,” Kim said.  “So, come on...I know you haven’t been out in a while, and I could really use some girl-talk.  It’ll make Mark uncomfortable.  We can discuss menstrual cycles and breast exams.”

Hannah smiled.  “Okay, yeah...what time will you be at the hospital?”

“I’m meeting Mark at nine because he’s got his bowling league tonight, too...it’s 7:30 now, so, thirty minutes?  That way, I can spend about forty-five minutes visiting Josie and not overstay my welcome.  I’m sure she’ll be conking out about that time anyway, right?”

“It depends on how much pain medication she still gets,” Hannah said, digging for a pair of shoes to match her dress.  “And her dad will be there.  Those two need to spend as much time alone as possible.”

“Uh oh,” Kim said.  “Peeping Tom will be there, too?”

“He is her father.  He has a right to be there.”

“I know...but I’m not sure if I can keep my mouth shut about him.  I’d hate to go off on him with Josie in the room.”

Hannah chuckled.  “He’s actually not that bad,” she said.  “I’ve gotten to know him a little better.  He won’t provoke you into anything, I’m sure of it.”

Kim paused on the other end of the line.  “So...how much is a little better?  Just how chummy did you and him get?  Is he peeking through your windows now?”

Keeping her voice nonchalant, Hannah said, “We talked, that’s about it.”

“Bullshit.  What happened?  I can tell you’re keeping something from me.”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are,” Kim said.  “You’re words slow down when you lie, as though you’re choosing them very carefully.”

Hannah sighed.  “Okay, fine.  Yes, I’m keeping something from you, but I’m not telling you over the phone.  I’ll tell you tonight, alright?”

“Promise,” Kim commanded.  “You always keep your promises.  So, I want to hear, ‘Kimberly, I promise I will tell you everything that has happened between myself and Justin Kirkland.’”

With a giggle, Hannah repeated the words and Kim was happy.  “See you in a bit.”

“Bye, Hannah Banana,” her friend cooed.

Hannah slipped on a pair of gold flats, checked her appearance one more time, and headed out the door -- stopping to check on the guinea pigs as she left.  Within twenty minutes, she stood outside of Josie’s hospital room, listening to the combined laughter of the girl and her father.  “That’s cheating!” Josie giggled.

“It is not,” Justin said, laughing along with his daughter.  “I can take your Queen if I want to.”

“But you can’t jump my Pawn to get to it!”

“Says who?”

“Says Grandpa!  Only the Knights can jump.”

Hannah smiled, placing her hand the door handle.  Justin laughed again, a deep rumbling sound that went straight to Hannah’s nervous stomach.  “Well, Grandpa has been teaching you the wrong way to play chess,” he said to Josie.  “Grandma taught me, and she lets her Rooks jump around all the time.”

Josie’s bubbling laughter erupted behind the door.  “Grandma cheats, too!”

“Don’t let her hear you say that...she’ll never bake you another apple pie ever again.”

Taking a deep breath, Hannah turned the handle and walked into the room.  Her eyes went to the bed.  Josie and her dad were grappling for the same black Rook over a chessboard that sat on the rollaway table.  They were grinning and happy, and Hannah hated to interrupt them.  She knew how important this moment was for both of them.  But before she could silently back out, Josie saw her and squealed, “Hannah!  Tell Daddy he can’t jump his Rook!”

Hannah shook her head.  “I’ll say no such thing.  I enjoy your grandma’s apple pies.”

Josie giggled again, snatching the chess piece away from her father.  Justin slowly straightened, his eyes traveling from her feet to her head, glowing dangerously as he absorbed her outfit into his brain.  Hannah felt herself blush from his scrutiny, but she ignored him as she approached Josie on the other side of her bed.

“How are you tonight, sweetie?”

“I’ll be wonderful, if Daddy would stop cheating,” Josie said, replacing the chess pieces in their proper starting order.  She glanced at Hannah.  “Wow!  You look pretty!”

“Thank you,” Hannah said.  Do not look at him...do not look at him...  “I hope you don’t mind, but I can’t stay all night.  Kim and I are going out later.”

Josie smiled, “Ooh, where are you going?  Is Mark going, too?”

Justin seemed to stiffen at Josie’s questions, quietly waiting for Hannah’s answer.  Hannah couldn’t answer the first question, because she forgot to ask Kim where they were going, but she did say, “Yes, Mark will be there, too.  And Kim said she was going to stop by in a little while and see you before we leave.”

Josie pushed the chessboard and table away, still smiling.  “I wish I could go with you, too, but maybe next time.  I’m glad Kim’s coming by.  I miss her.  And Mark, too...and everyone at the store.”  For a second she lost her happy expression.  “I’ll miss all of you when I have to go back home.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Hannah said, reaching around to hug her.  “Don’t think about that right now.  I’m sure you’ll get to see everyone before you leave.”  She finally looked up at Justin.  “Won’t she?”

Justin’s face was pure stone, but he answered, “Yes, of course.  We’ll stop by for a visit before we leave.”

“Really, Daddy?” Josie asked as Hannah pulled away from her.  “Oh, thank you!”  Then the girl’s green eyes widened.  “Hey, can Daddy come with you and Kim?”

Hannah blinked at her, and Justin stuttered out a, “Wh-what was that?”

Josie leaned toward Hannah and stage-whispered, “You can double-date.  Daddy hasn’t been on a date in a long, long time.”  She straightened again -- Justin choked from her words -- and in her normal voice, Josie added, “And I know he’ll like Kim.  After all, he liked her once before, and she’s just as pretty as you are.  And Mark is really nice, too.”

Hannah glanced at Justin.  He looked about as flabbergasted as she was.  I can’t believe she mentioned the peeping tom thing, though not really saying it quite that way, but how could he not put the two together...unless he doesn’t remember.  “Um, Josie, sweetie...I’m sure you’re daddy would rather hang out with you tonight.”

“But I already told him he didn’t have to,” Josie said, rolling her eyes.  “Grandma is down the hall, staying with a friend from church who had a brain thingy.  It’s a sad story...Grandma said that her friend’s daughter almost lost her baby because she was so upset about her daddy getting sick, so she’s here in the hospital, too.  I don’t want my daddy getting sick because he’s worried about me.  He should go out and have some fun.  Grandma is here, and Grandpa is coming back after he finishes some work at the farm, and Daddy can come back after your date if he wants to.”  

The girl sucked in a breath after her long speech, and Hannah and Justin could only stare at her.  “Besides,” Josie went on, “he cheats at chess.”

An unexpected giggle detonated out of Hannah’s throat, resulting in a glare from Justin and a companionable giggle from Josie.  Hannah’s hand flew to her mouth.  “Sorry,” she muttered.  She cleared her throat and forced herself to meet Justin’s eyes.  “Um, well...if you would like to join us, then you are welcome.”

His clear green gaze steadied on her for a very long time.  Hannah wondered if he thought they’d ever be thrown together again after that last kiss.  Probably not.  Which was probably why he did kiss her.  Because he’d never have to really face her again afterward...at least, not privately.  Not that a “double-date” with Kim and Mark was very private, but then again, it was more so than in the presence of a teenage girl.

Finally moving, he tucked his thumbs behind his belt and shifted his weight to one hip.  Hannah allowed herself to get a good look at him.  He’d showered like he said -- his hair was still slightly damp -- and he’d shaved...and he’d changed.  Still in a pair of jeans and a button down shirt, but now...those were not everyday jeans, and that was not a work shirt.  Oh, no, she thought, a small smile tugging on her lips.  He’d been just as careful about his wardrobe tonight as she’d been.  

The midnight blue denim looked new, crisp, and casually dressy.  The shirt was a simple, spotless white, but throw a tuxedo jacket over it, and he could walk into any wedding and not look out of place.  And his boots...Hannah craned her neck just enough to peek down at his feet.  Yup, freshly shined.  Not a scuff in sight.

When she shifted her gaze back to his eyes, she saw humor there...and something she saw twice before.  He knew, just as she knew, they’d both hoped to see each other again.

Okay...what’s the harm?  So, he’ll be leaving in a few days.  Why can’t I enjoy his sexy, handsome company one more time?  It’s not like I’m going to sleep with him.

Justin’s jaw cracked open to either accept or turn down her invitation, but that was the moment Kim waltzed into the room.  “How’s my Josie Posy doing?!”

Josie giggled, holding her arms out for a hug from the tall blond, and Justin broke eye-contact from Hannah, shifting back to give the three females more room.  “I’ve brought you a present,” Kim announced, dropping a gift bag into Josie’s lap.

“Oh, yay!” Josie squealed, digging through the tissue paper, tossing it around the room to get to her gift.  She pulled out a box and laughed louder.  “A Chia Pet!  And it’s a pig!”

“It’s the closest I could find to a guinea pig,” Kim explained.  “Apparently they don’t make them in guinea pigs.”

“Oh, I love it,” Josie cried, opening the box to look at the pottery planter.  “Now, I can finally grow something!”

“I figured you could start small...then we’ll get you up to something even Hannah can’t kill.”

“Hey, now,” Hannah said.  “I’ve done really well with my garden this year.  I haven’t lost a single plant all summer.”

“That’s because Josie’s been watering them for you,” Kim said, grinning at both of them.  “Now...”  She turned in a circle and faced Justin.  She was almost tall enough to look him straight in the eye.  “Justin Kirkland...my, have you grown.”

Hannah and Josie watched as Justin studied the blond before him.  “I’m sorry...do we know each other?”

Kim grinned.  “I’m Kimberly Johnson.  I believe you frequented my bedroom window when you were Josie’s age.”

Josie snickered behind her hand, and Hannah was hard-pressed not to laugh at his expense.  Especially when he looked so confused.  “I beg your pardon?”

“Johnson,” Kim repeated.  “My dad was Jack Johnson.  My mom was Margie Johnson.  They lived next door to your mom and dad.  You liked to scatter chickens, steal plums and peek in college girls’ bedrooms at night.”

Like the sun rising in the dawn, understanding and recognition surfaced in Justin’s face...along with a splash of beet red.  “Of course,” he said gruffly.  “It’s nice to see you again.”

Josie couldn’t stand it any longer.  Her throat opened up and the laughter spilled out.  “Nice to see you again!” she repeated, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.  Hannah let a quick grin slip out, but then she was patting Josie’s back, saying, “Sweetie, calm down, you don’t want to rupture your stitches.”

Justin glared at both adult women in the room.  “You told my daughter about that?”

“Oh, daddy,” Josie chirped.  “I’m glad they told me.  I didn’t think you ever had any fun!”

“Yes, well, I’ve grown up a bit since then,” Justin said rubbing the back of his neck.  Kim eyed him from head to toe appreciatively.

“Yes, you have,” she purred, and he turned redder.

“I’m happy you approve,” he said, “since you’re my date tonight.”

That wiped the grin off Kim’s face, but it made Hannah’s grow.  “Am I missing