ALESSANDRA

"I feel so ashamed of myself" he whispered into his hands.

"After I left Lucia I traveled around for a bit for work, but then my mother fell sick. She go tsick with a deadly virus and it was highly infectious, so they put her in containment and gave her drug after drug, hoping something would work for her. But nothing did. She passed away." he paused letting the information sink in.

The tears gathered in my eyes. His my mother was the closest thing I had to a parent. His family was my family when we were together and I loved them.

I hugged him again. We weren't ever getting back together, but I still loved him as a brother, almost. He started sobbing into my neck, his shoulders shaking.

"I'm sorry, Alessa. I did something horrible" he whispered into my hair. I was so anxious to know what he did. I was worried it would be something really bad.

"What did you do?" I asked. He tensed in my arms, pulling away from me.

"I was going to try, but then you called me and asked me to come here." he looked out the window sighing sadly. "But after you called, I realized it was a mistake. A moment of weakness and that I should have never tried in the first place. "

"What happened? What did you try to do?" I asked, getting more and more curious the more he avoided telling me what he wanted to do.

"I wanted to kill myself."
The whole world seemed to pause. My mouth fell open on shock as I imagined what would have happened if I hadn't called.
"I had a chair and a rope hanging from my chandelier." he continued, "And I was holding the noose in my hands staring at it getting ready to tie it around my neck, but then you called.... Thank you" he looked so sad and broken. But I was too busy crying to say anything. I was just shaking my head.

"Lou. I.... Don't ever kill yourself." I finally spoke after the pregnant silence. "if you ever think about it, you just phone me.... Okay? Just phone me and if I can't get to the phone, wait a day and I'll try to get back to you, or you phone me again or phone your family? Just don't do that. Imagine the pain it would cause your father and sister. What that would do to them, your family. It would break them. "

He nodded his head pulling me into another hug.

I was contemplating never going back to Emiliano, but I had to admit I was scared.
I knew that the second he saw I had left he would be angry. But I also knew he would give me time to come back and if I didn't he would actually kill me.

So I gathered all the my courage and decided to go back before anyone noticed. I had Louise drive me back and drop down the road a few kilometers away from the estate.

I couldn't climb the wall with all my shopping bags, so I walked up to the front gates with a big smile.

To my delight, Jace, the man with blue hair was standing on guard with another man I didn't know.

"Hey, Jace" I greeted as he opened the gates. But he didn't return my bright smile.
"Alessa. You really made him angry this time. You head straight to his office and if you hurry his mood may just get better." he warned. My smile fell and I was anxious again. I gulped and nodded before I ran with all my bags straight up to his office.

When I got there I, sadly, forgot to knock. Emiliano shot up from his seat and walked straight toward me. I closed my eyes and flinched away from him, expecting him to hit me. I waited for a few seconds before I relaxed and opened my eyes.

But I was suddenly thrown to the floor from the slap he gave me. My shopping was scattered behind me. I stood up and readied for him to hit me again.

I didn't close my eyes as he slapped my other cheek with the same strength and force as the previous one.
I kept still and waited for another, surprisingly, he gave me nothing more.

"I never use violence on woman, but you make me so angry" he spat turning around and walking back to his desk.
His hands pressed flat against the table while he leaned over. He was taking deep breaths, trying to calm down.

I didn't move as I looked down at my feet with my arms by my sides.
He turned back to me his pinky still twitching from the anger and the vein in his neck bulging.
I would admit I am scared of dying. But I'm not afraid of what kills me.

I looked up Emiliano who was walking towards me again.

"Who is Louise Michaelson to you?" he asked me, his hands curling around my neck gently.

"He is my ex, sir. But I found out that his mother passed away now he's like a brother to me." I gulped when his thumb began moving up and down on the front of my throat, slowly.

He nodded his head, moving his hand to the back of my neck and into my hair. He pulled me closer to him so that I was right against him.
"Just remember you belong to me now." he whispered into my ear, pressing a delicate kiss on my neck.
"And no other man may touch you"

With that we separated. He walked to his desk and sat down while I stayed frozen.
I realized that it was now or never. So I quickly opened the Louis Vuitton bag and grabbed the bow tie and cologne.

"Well I was out, I did get some stuff for you too. I was hoping I can buy your forgiveness or something" I said lamely, rolling my eyes at how pathetic this must seem.

He just stared at me as I spoke not saying anything, so I took it as a sign for me to keep talking.
"I don't really care about your preferences so I bought this cologne because I liked it " I said plopping myself on his lap. I ran my fingers through his hair as I sprayed some perfume on my wrist and put it to nose so he could smell it.

"Are you not scared to act so carefree around me?" he asked suddenly.

I just stared at him and shrugged not knowing what to say back to him.

"I could kill you anytime anywhere without batting a finger, but you don't seem to care." he analyzed me trying to figure out what my plan is, but the joke is, I don't have one.

I sighed and put the stuff down on his table and attempted to get up to leave since I didn't really want to talk about my fears, but the key word was attempted.
Emiliano held my leg and waist not letting go when I tried to move.

I eventually stopped trying and just stayed in his lap waiting for him to say something.

"Why do you purposefully upset me?" he asked scowling at me.
I gave him a toothy grin wanting to giggle at his question.

"Maybe I don't care that you hit me" I murmured so softly that I almost couldn't belive what I had said. I knew he heard me since his eyes narrowed inot slits.

"You don't care" he scoffed glaring at me. "You don't like it Alessandra. You're just use to it, you want me to punish you, you want me to show you why I'm King... Why you should fear me... Maybe its the way you were trained, but I know that it effects you... your mental health". He said as if he cared for me, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear the lies or the other bullshit he wanted to tell me.

I tried to stand up but he didn't let me, his one hand holding me down while the other hand held the cheek he had slapped earlier.

"I'm sorry for this" he said as he touched it gently, and my jaw almost dropped in shock. "I get angry easily, and I know its not an excuse, but it's the reason I usually resort to violence. I run a mafia with only men and I didn't really matter before if I hit them or not when they fucked up, but I am sorry". He said softly making me question if I was hallucinating or not.

I- Emiliano apologising?! I never thought he ever would.

If there are any rereaders I'd just like to let you know that this book is being rewritten and changed. So the story is going to make more sense now.