Chapter 22

   I could feel Gavier's breathing through his chest as he slowly put his arms around me. His heartbeat was steady and it calmed me hearing its rhythm, knowing that he was alive.

"Did you miss me?" He asked and I could feel him smirking.

I nodded against his chest without hesitation.

"Were you thinking about me?"

I nodded again.

"Look up, I want to see your face."

This time, I shook my head. I haven't yet sucked the tears that were threatening to fall since earlier, and I wouldn't dare let him see it.

Please let me just embrace you.

Because I knew that after this, I would have to tell him, and knowing Gavier, I don't think he would be jumping around like a kid because I talked to his mother who just told me about his depressing past.

"Clarissa, let me see you," he said again and I shook my head vehemently.

He sighed then began caressing my hair. I couldn't look up, or else he would know. I don't want him to know.

"I get it, you've come to realize your feelings for me and now you're trying to confess. How adorable."

And the arrogant jerk was yet again feeding his huge ego.

"You wish," I said, then quickly let go and turned around so I could wipe my tears but I was too slow.

He held my face and looked straight in my eyes. Seeing my tears, his eyes became intense, furious.

"Who is it? Who did this?" He snarled.

"Y-your mom," I choked weakly.

His eyes widened as he let go of me as if he just touched a burning coal.

"My mother? H-how—"

"She talked to me, she wants me to convince you to talk to her. Gavier, I know."

His eyes darkened, shock and betrayal casted over his face.

"What do you know?" He asked accusingly.

"Everything," I said in almost a whisper, the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes finally trickled down my face and I wiped it with my hand quickly. What is happening to my heart?

His face hardened, teeth gritting. "That bitch, what the fuck was she doing here?" He paced around the room, running a hand through his hair aggressively. He turned to me. "And you, why did you fucking talk to her?"

He still hates his mother, so much.

I composed myself. "I didn't know your relationship until now."

"And now that you know because my business is suddenly your business, you still want me to talk and have a happy ending with her." He laughed sarcastically. "What a joke."

I knew it, it was going to be like this. I put on my bitch mode. "She was crying for god sake, pleading me on her knees. She has suffered enough, don't you think it's time for you guys to talk to each other? She's your mother Gavier."

He stepped towards me with an angry look, fists clenched at his sides. For a moment I really wanted to hide and run away. I really hate fighting with Gavier, it's like a nightmare.  "Listen Clarissa, my business is my business. You don't go and stick your fucking nose in my shit, you understand."

I remained my stance. I couldn't fucking believe it. He's threatening me.

I glared back at him. "Don't you think that's a bit too late now? Your mother, Queen Dianne has personally asked me a favor. A queen Gavier, and your freaking mother."

"I don't fucking care if she's my mother or a queen. She's nothing to me."

I gasped at the intensity of his words. "Just give her a chance to explain herself and apologize. Gavier you need to move on from the past!"

He closed his eyes, his chest rising up sharply, probably trying to control the boiling fury in his body. When he opened them, he looked at me, but his look made me feel like I was not there, as if I didn't exist. He raised his hand and pointed at his door which was left ajar.

"Out, now."

My jaw dropped open.

"Now Clarissa, get out." He was serious.

I shook my head, knowing that I wouldn't be able to convince him. My heart constricted with pain with the thought of hurting him with my mere presence so I did what I was told.

I got out of his room.

*****
I couldn't sleep that night and who could blame me? There was just so much to take in—Lucas' issue, Queen Dianne's mistake, and of course Gavier. My heart clenched with pain again. He's hurting. I should've just apologized. Why did I even listen to his mother? It's because you want to fix this, you want to fix him. I shook my head sadly, realizing that I have no power to do just that. Gavier's too broken for me to fix.

  The next morning was even worse. Nessa and Ria woke me up when I finally succumbed myself to sleep and reminded me of something I dreaded to even think about. My freaking performance, and I have not thought of anything to perform yet!

I almost hyperventilated then. Calming myself down and extracting myself from Ria and Nessa who cheerfully suggested they would willingly teach me how to sing and paint, I shook my head no, and left them while they argued what's best for me to perform.

I walked outside the dormitory. I haven't even explored the whole campus yet and I needed something to distract myself with before I burst from stress. I found a garden full of flowers and somehow they calmed me down. I sat on a rock, watching the butterflies go from one flower from another in fascination. How enviable. They just take the sweet nectar and never taste anything bitter. Maybe I should ask my tooth fairy to turn me into a butterfly. But then right, I'm too old for that, and all my molars are permanent already. Damn.

I heard a snap of twigs and immediately turned around.

"Surprise! Surprise! I finally find ya, Clarissa."

I narrowed my eyes, jolting myself to stand up. "What do you want Jarvis?"

He held his hands up, smirking like a devil. "Relax, I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm actually here to thank you."

I raised my eyebrows. "For what?"

"For not telling the King what I did to you."

"Huh? I don't understand. Which King?"

He laughed then pointed at me. "You're funny, do you know that?"

I rolled my eyes. Psychos are really hard to understand.

"You're not even making any sense." I crossed my arms, already impatient.

Still chuckling a little. "When I made the cave go boom! You didn't tell Gavier about that. Haha, so funny."

"Oh I see, so Gavier's the king, but he's not even a king yet."

"He's my king." He smiled. "Therefore you're my queen, so let me return the favor. Tell me anything you want me to do and I'll do it. I can blow the academy if you want." He bowed his head after saying this.

This time it was me who laughed. "It's fine Jarvis, you don't have to do anything." Then I remembered my dilemma about tonight's performance. "If you're just allowed to perform for me then I would let you do just that but sadly it's not allowed."

He looked at me confused then his creepy smirk was back. "You're worried? Isn't your dad a really cool con artist?"

Con artist.

Fuck, what the hell was I thinking?!

My shocked look must have gave away that I just realized I could actually perform something.

"You're welcome," Jarvis chuckled then swiveled around, his dark cape fluttering as he turned.

I was still staring in space when Jarvis left. How could I be so stupid? No wonder Carlos was so determined not to tell the brainless me.

I do have a talent.

And I can't believe Jarvis was the one who made me realize that.

A smile creeped on my face, already thinking of an idea. I'd be needing Ria and Nessa's help for this one. Before I left the beautiful garden, I glanced back at the colorful butterflies. I think I'll stay as human so no need for tooth fairies for me.

*****
"Now may I present our beautiful rookie of the year, Clarissa Marie Valdez!"

My heart thudded against my chest and I swallowed my nervousness as I went on stage.

'Remember Clarissa, in a performance confidence is the key. Don't ever, ever hesitate', my dad's words of wisdom reminded me and I thank him silently.

I tried not to think that I was overdressed. Nessa decorated my body like I was a Christmas tree, thankfully Ria was there to stop her. In the end I wore a silver dress that was too tight for my liking, it hugged my curves like a leech, though thankfully it matched well with my black heels. Ria and Nessa put my hair up and pinned it with nice gems, and lastly my make-up was done lightly.

I smiled at my peers before getting the mike from its stand.

"I'm going to die soon," I said sadly earning gasps from the audience.

"I don't know when. I don't know how. All I know is that it'll end." I looked down the floor, then looked up with my eyes glistening with tears.

"Do you know how scared I feel? I can't sleep, I can't even eat. When I look at myself in the mirror, I want to punch it. I hate myself! I hate myself for dying so soon! I'm still so young, too young." I fiercely looked at the judges, tears falling down my cheeks. They looked back at me with sympathy. The two women who were judges were trying to contain their tears. But Hitler man still looked at me rigidly, watching me like a hawk. I suddenly felt intimidated.

I fell on the floor as if I was fainting. "The darkness is eating me away, slowly crippling my soul. Until I can't breathe anymore. Until I can't see the light but only the shadows. Until I can't hear the voices and laughter of my loved ones. Until I can't feel myself anymore. I have lost myself. Do you understand me?!" I cried hoarsely and I see some people nodding.

"I can't find myself. I search everywhere but in the end I can't help but give up. Do you know why?" I asked them then stood up. I pointed aggressively at the audience. "DO you know why?! You!" I pointed at the Hitler man, "Do you know why?!" He seemed stunned but quickly composed himself. My mouth quivered as I tasted my tears. "It's because I'm long gone. I'm dead gone."

I wiped my tears quickly and smiled before the audience. "Thank you for watching my performance." I bowed down and people applauded, looking shocked at each other, some confused. Of course they didn't know that I was just acting. (Have I fooled you too? :p)

When I looked up, everyone was smiling at me, Hitler guy was even clapping his hands. And wow, it was the first time I saw him clap. In those few seconds of observing my peers, one distinct person caught my eye, he was wearing a hood, and he seemed to be brooding as he left the room. Did he think I wouldn't notice him? This made me smile even wider. I would notice Gavier anywhere even if he was covered in clothing from head to toe.

He watched me perform. He was there.

I was welcomed with open arms when I met Ria and Nessa at the backstage.

"You were fantastic!" Ria exclaimed and hugged me.

"I-I thought y-you were really going to d-die!" Nessa cried between sniffles as she hugged me. I laughed hard at this.

I wasn't the last performer so I told them both I'd go change and that they should stay. I quickly took a shower and run to the boy's dormitory. I couldn't let this go on anymore. I need to see him.

Just like before, I barged in Gavier's room. His eyes widened at the sight of me as if he'd been caught in red light. He was still wearing his hoodie.

"You were there."

"Where I go or not go is none of your business." He narrowed his eyes at me and took off his hoodie and wore a wifebeater. I blinked my eyes to distract myself from admiring his 6 packs.

"But it is." I stepped inside his room, closing the door behind me, the last time I'd been here, he pushed me out but this time no matter what he says, I will not leave him.

"I don't want to see you right now Clarissa or I might hurt you. Get the fuck out." He turned his back at me.

Ouch.

I crossed my arms. "You won't hurt me, and I won't leave until our matter's resolved."

He slammed his hands on the table, making me jolt up. "I don't want to fucking talk about it. Leave."

I looked at his tense back, he was breathing heavily, his fists clenched. He wasn't looking at me anymore and that hurt. It was as if my sole existence made him like this. Why did I even agree to do this? If it would just make him act like this then it wasn't worth telling him. To hell with his cheating mother. To hell with his sister who died. To hell with him. Why should I even go through all this trouble and meddle with their affair? That's right, it's because I freaking care. No matter how twisted Gavier was, he would always be someone special to me. I would always have this soft spot for him and it sucks because no matter how much he annoys me or pushes me away, I would always forgive him and come back to him.

I realized that fighting with him wasn't the answer. Sometimes you have to show that you care, for them to finally understand. I hugged Gavier from behind. He tensed but he didn't push me away.

"It must have hurt a lot seeing your sister dead and having no one to turn to. It must have hurt a lot to have the person you trust the most betray you. And it hurts me. It hurts me to know that you've gone through all that alone. I just really want you to be happy."

He relaxed and put his hands over mine. "You'll be the death of me."

He turned around and I realized the hot wetness which was flowing down my face were my tears. "I hate fighting with you."

"Don't cry, I don't deserve it," he said kissing my tears away. "Sweet Clarissa sometimes I really don't know what to do with you." He pulled me in a hug, as if he was afraid to let me go.

"Fine, I'll go talk to her but I get to choose the place and the date."

I looked up, not believing what he said. "Wow, really?"

"Yep." He smirked and I was glad to see that smirk again. "I'm tired from all the drama, let's sleep."

He pressed a button on his remote control, and the lights suddenly turned off. I felt hands on me, pulling me towards the bed fast.

"Wait Gavier, what's happening?"

"We're going to sleep."

"W-what, you mean together?" I felt an arm pulling me closer to his body.

"Yup, now sleep."

"What the hell, we can't do this. It's against the rules!" And I won't be able to sleep.

"I practically own this place so I can do whatever I want," he said arrogantly and pulled me further to him until there was no distance between us.

"But still—"

"Shut up or I'll kiss you."

That shut me up. I don't think I'd be able to handle that. My heart was beating so hard, I know he could hear it against his chest. His arm that was wrapped around my waist wasn't helping either. Without choice I made myself comfortable and snuggled my head against his shoulder.

Exhaustion overwhelmed me and I finally surrendered myself to sleep, happy that Gavier and I weren't at each other's throats anymore.

And I hope it stays that way.

Hey guys! Long time no update. Thank you guys so much for the sweet get well soons. I'm happy to say that I'm almost well. I hope you guys like this chappy. There's a lot of drama in it even in Clarissa's performance which i hope you guys think is okay.

Thanks for the votes, reads and comments. If i get 100 votes for this chapter and my previous ones in less than three days, then i'll update sooner, haha. ;) So comment and vote away. Don't be a silent reader coz I'd love to hear from you. Love ya guys a lot. Ciao!