𝙄 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥

"Alex, I need your help," I say into my phone as I look back at the text conversation I just had with my sister.

"Matthew, it's almost midnight."

"I know, it's just—my little sister has got herself in a situation and I said I'd help her but I have no idea how. So, I thought the best person to come to would be you. I'm sorry, I don't know what to do."

"What's the situation?"

"She was hanging out with her friends and these older guys joined and now they're pressuring her to take drugs and won't let her leave. I said I'd come and get her but I have no clue how I'm going to pull that off."

"Say no more, I'm on my way."

"I'm sorry—"

"I'll be by yours in ten. Meet me in front of your house."

"OK."

Within fifteen minutes, I'm in the car with Alex, driving towards the abandoned railway bridge.

I can feel my anxiety growing at the prospect of my sister being within proximity of these men, the danger of her situation leaves a sick feeling in my stomach. What are we even going to do? Alex is six-foot three with a bunch of muscle so I'm guessing he can fight them off if they try anything but me... I'm practically defenceless. I'm a five-foot nine skinny dude with no self-defence techniques at all.

Alex notices my rising apprehension and reaches over to grab my hand which I've started tapping against my thigh. He doesn't need to say anything, the feeling of his hand in mine is comforting enough and I'm glad I called him instead of facing this on my own.

We get there relatively quickly. Once I've parked, Alex is out of the car in the blink of an eye. I, on the other hand, get out at a much slower pace, hesitant at approaching these people. I could stay in the car but, even though he'd easily be able to stick up for himself, I don't want Alex to go alone. Plus, it's my sister we're 'rescuing' here. I want to be there in case she needs me at any time.

"Don't worry, I've got this," He says, squeezing my hand before he makes his way towards the bridge. I follow a few feet behind.

Even though we're not near to them, I can still see a group of people huddled under the railway bridge, a cloud of smoke filling the air from their cigarettes. The strong smell of weed hits me all at once and it's this moment where I've decided I hate the sense of smell.

"Monty, my man! Long-time no see," A scrawny guy calls as we approach him, something which I think is weed between his finger. Littered around him are multiple different drugs, some of which his friends and even Eva's friends are taking. "Friend of yours?" He gestures to me with an incline of his head.

"You could say that," Alex responds, his jaw tightening.

The scrawny guy reaches out as though he's passing the weed to Alex. "Blunt?"

Alex looks down at the blunt with distaste, pushing it away from him in an instant. I know he wouldn't have taken it from him but watching him push it away, especially with the look of disgust, makes me sigh in relief, "I've quit, thanks, Mike."

Mike raises an eyebrow in surprise, "You've quit? Wow, the big man's gone soft. What are you doing here then?" Mike says, his arm moving towards me as though he's about to give me the blunt. Alex clocks this straight away and slaps Mike's arm away from me. Mike's look of surprise deepens.

Alex scoffs, crinkling his nose in abhorrence as he looks around him. His eyes scan across Eva's friends, all of which are not paying any mind to the scene happening over here but instead, are engaging in drug-taking with the older guys.

His gaze lands on my sister, who is looking up at us with such fear I want to grab her and run. For obvious reasons, I can't. Alex looks back down at Mike. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Mike lets out a croaky laugh, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Alex gestures to Eva and her friends, "They're kids, dude. What do you think you're doing?"

Mike rolls his eyes at this, "Lay of it, man, we're only having fun, teachin' them a few party tricks. You used to do this too."

Although I do know Alex used to be involved with this kind of stuff, a lump in my throat appears as Mike says this. I could never understand why someone would want to waste away their life like this, fuelled with addiction and crime, and can only be thankful that Alex stopped before it was too late. I mean, Mike said 'long time no see' which means Alex hasn't done this recently, right? As he said, he quit.

"Not with freshmen, I didn't."

Mike lets out a mocked version of a defeated sigh, putting his hands up as though he's surrendering, "OK, mom, I've learnt my lesson. If you're not here to get high, you can go."

While examining the scene around me, my gaze falls on someone I swear I can recognise. The only standout feature of hers is her blood-red hair... then it clicks. I met her in the café that many weeks back during a tutoring session with Alex. The one whose friend called us fags. She seems to recognise me too, her expression changing to one of surprise, like mine. She then smirks almost flirtatiously at me, as she did at Alex in the café before I sat down opposite him.

I watch as she lets out a quiet laugh, raising her hand in a small wave before winking at me. I start to desperately look around for something else to keep my attention on while Alex continues to bicker with Mike but as I do, my eyes keep catching hers.

For more reason than one, she's left me feeling entirely awkward as she watches me in a curious manner. She taps the space beside her, a blunt in between her fingers like Mike. She's the only person who has their attention on us...or rather, on me. I start to squirm.

The urge to leave grows precariously and I want to reach out and grab Alex for solace although I know I can't. My nails dig into my palms as I start to become severely fraught. She seems to find my discomfort funny as she's laughing again, this time, less softly.

"I'm here to pick up Eva," I can hear Alex say, causing me to let out a breath. Good, we're about to leave. Alex inclines his head, facing Eva, "Come on." Feeling a lot safer knowing Alex is at her rescue, she jumps up from where she's sat and begins to hurry over towards us.

Mike looks at Alex, then Eva, before going back to Alex, "Is she your girlfriend or something?"

"Don't be disgusting."

"God, don't be some overprotective boyfriend. Let her have her fun," Mike chortles.

"It's pretty clear she doesn't want whatever this fun is. Eva, come on," Alex responds, however, Eva is prevented from coming anymore closer to us as Mike steps in front of her, blocking her path.

My stomach drops in fear. Alex throws himself forward, grabbing Mike by the front of his shirt, growling. "Don't you fucking dare go anywhere near her again, do you understand?" When Mike doesn't respond, Alex's grip tightens and he leans in closer, "I said, do you understand?" Intimidated by his strength and height, the smaller boy gulps, nodding sharply.

I make my way past Mike, grabbing Eva by the wrist and pull her away from the bridge. As I walk away from the scene, I can hear a noise as though someone got punched, a fall to the floor, and a groan. Running footsteps resonates behind us, then I feel a hand on my back.

"Are you alright, Eva?" Alex asks his attention on my sister. She nods, her eyes still wide with fear, "I promise, those guys won't go anywhere near you again. If they do, just come to me, OK? I'll put them in their place."

"OK," She says, her voice small. "Thanks."

"Mind if I smoke?" Alex asks, pulling out a cigarette packet. I shrug, because who am I to tell him what to do, and get in the car to avoid having to smell it. Eva gets in the back seat.

When we're all in the car once Alex is finished with his cigarette, I waste no time driving off. I shake the feeling of edginess off and it's quickly replaced by repose. We're away from those guys. They can't hurt Alex, they can't hurt Eva, and they can't hurt me. We're safe.

I don't mean for it to happen, but a grin spreads across my face. Alex, without a second thought, was happy to help my sister in a time of need. He didn't care that it's the middle of the night and he didn't care that he hardly knows Eva. He was there to help and that is how I know I made the right choice in dating him.

Not only is he there for me, but he's also there for my family members and that tells you a lot about someone. He cares. He's willing to put himself in a dangerous situation to save one of my family members and this only builds up my trust in him.

I can go to him for anything and he'll stick up for me or a loved one and it's that very thought that makes me want to cry with happiness. I thank God, I thank fate, I thank the world; whatever the Hell it was that brought me and Alex together.

I thank the world for allowing me to gain trust in him and to let him in, giving him a chance. Past me would have thought it would take ages for me to begin to even put a small bit of trust in him. Never would I have thought that I would trust him so much because of specific conversations I would have with him. He opened up, he allowed me to see a side of him no one has seen before, and he showed me that he's there. He's proved his point.

I know when I tell Cami about us, she'll be reluctant to accept it. I don't blame her. It would be hard to get to grips with understanding that someone like Alex, someone who I hated for three years, is now the person I almost love. All she would be seeing is the brisk transition from hatred to love.

She'd have no insight on what's happened behind closed doors so I pray that she will learn to understand and that she will be here for my relationship just like my mother and sisters are. They'd didn't question it, they just accepted it.

"Thank you," my sister says after a while.

Alex pivots round to face her, "You ought to get new friends. Take it from me, a life in drugs and booze is not the way you want to go. I used to be naive like you, doing drugs and shit to fit in and seem cool. I'm telling you now, it's not worth it. It makes you look dumb."

"I know," Eva replies, looking down at her feet, "I didn't mean for this to happen. I was just hanging out with my friends and they turned around and told me that these other guys were coming. I didn't take anything, honest."

Alex nods, "I believe you."

"What made you realise what you were doing was stupid? The drugs and all that," She asks. Alex looks at me.

"She knows," I say simply. He understands what I mean and smiles at me, taking my hand again like he did while we were driving to the bridge, this time more tightly.

"Matthew," is Alex's response, his gaze not moving from me. "I realised that if I wanted any chance with him at all, I couldn't be doing this crap. It was either him or drugs so I chose him. This was before I knew I even had a chance with him, which kinda shows a lot. I stopped in hopes that it would change my attitude and he would notice that."

"I'm glad he's found someone like you," Eva says, leaning forward in her seat, "You clearly care a lot about him. Plus he's been all smiley since you started dating and we haven't seen that in a while, so."

I don't seem to care that they're talking about me as though I'm not there. It's this very conversation that's caused me to feel all warm inside, my neck growing hot at the attention on me. I can feel myself begin to blush.

"Well, I do care about him a lot," Alex states. Then he's talking at me, "You changed me for the better, Matty."

I didn't even realise what I was doing but if I could encourage someone to stop doing drugs and to fix up their life a bit just by being me then, maybe I'm doing something right. I've done a good deed without my knowledge of doing so and that makes me feel somewhat great about myself. I know it wasn't something I willingly did but I still helped.

It's not just me who's changed Alex for the better; he's done the same with me. While I'm still struggling with my anxiety, he's shown me that people out there do care and are willing to listen. He's already taken care of me, spending a whole day and night with me during a flare-up of anxiety, listening to me while I blabber on about problems I'm overreacting about. He bothered to look up ways to help me calm down, so when panicking on the plane, he could help me get through it.

He's been more there for me in a month than some people have done in all their years of knowing me.

"Alex, do you love Matty?" My sister asks casually, as though it's no big deal.

I suppose, at aged fourteen, you're not completely educated around the topic of love, judging by the fact that in relationships at such age, you profess your love for one enough within days of getting together.

Love is simpler, easier to comprehend at that age. At that age, love for us is happiness. Love is looking at this person and thinking 'this person makes me smile, therefore it's love'. I guess it is that, but it becomes so much more. It becomes heartbreak too. Because, as we get older, we realise that loving someone is also pain. Nonetheless, we know that it's all worth it. We look at that person and all we can think is that this person is worth all the pain. They make us happy.

As she gets older, though, she'll understand that it doesn't work like that.

Love is so complicated, so deep, which is why, after my slight moment of panic while Cami was round my house, I've decided that I don't love Alex just yet. However, I am getting there.

"I do, yeah," Alex answers, grasping my hand a tad bit tighter for a second.

"Matty? Do you love Alex?"

I freeze for a second, not sure what to say. Do I be honest? Then I think, what the Hell, he should be able to know where I am at the moment with all of this. "I'm getting there."

Alex sits up and looks at me with such hopefulness, "You are?"

I nod, "I am."

When I drop Alex home, I thank him for his help tonight. With a quick kiss on the cheek, he's gone, leaving me and Eva alone. I don't speak to her until we get home.

"You fucked up big time tonight," I say once we're inside the house. I make sure to shut the door as softly as I can to not make a sound and wake our parents up. I know we'd be in deep shit getting caught coming in this late at night. I check my phone, it's 12:45 a.m.

"I know and I'm sorry. Please don't tell mum and dad. Please." Eva begs, her eyes pleading.

I shake my head, "I'm not going to throw you under the bus but I swear to God, if this happens again, I will."

I say this for two reasons. I undoubtedly don't want her to be in a circumstance like that again, but I also don't want to bother Alex with something like that again. I would tell her to text Luca if there ever were a next time but he doesn't give a shit as I do. He steers clear from family stuff.

"I promise, it won't happen again."

"Do you even understand the danger of the situation? The danger you put me and Alex in?"

"God, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was going to happen. I thought I was just going to be hanging out with my friends."

"And what? Play barbies under an abandoned railway bridge in the middle of the night? What did you think was going to happen?" I sigh in frustration, giving up with the situation. "Just... get new friends," I say before making my way to my room.

Although this was a shitty state of affairs for all three of us to be in, it still made me realise about some good things. Alex gives a crap about my family, I've told him where I'm at with the whole love stuff, and I now know that I'm the reason he has fought his addiction to whatever drugs he used to take. I guess you can call this a two-faced situation. I just hope to God this never happens again.

Never give up because great things take time.