𝙄'𝙢 𝙊𝙆 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨

It had been a good few weeks since Alex told me that he found an apartment. And now, after near enough to a month of living with us, the time Alex is living with us is coming to a close, and very soon, he will be moving out.

What I didn't know when he told me about a new apartment found for him was that this is not an apartment he was buying, instead is one his Aunt, who is currently living in South Africa, gave him. When she moved from America to Africa, she never sold the apartment and, as an alternative, kept it to stay in when she comes back to visit America.

Alex knew this and contacted her, not to buy the apartment off of her but to see if he could temporarily use it. Even though my mum said Alex could stay at ours for as long as needed, he didn't want to intrude for too long as he still feels terrible about it. Nothing we could say would change his mind so he contacted his aunt and, to his surprise, she told him that he could make the apartment his altogether as long as she could stay with him when she came to visit the country.

To be honest, I completely lack knowledge about this whole passing on a tenancy to another person thing, which Alex told me was different from buying it off her. All they needed to do was some stuff which then meant that all the money stuff would be paid for by Alex as he's way too stubborn to let anyone help him with it and will only accept any help when he definitely needs it, and that the apartment would be in his name. It takes longer than I expected it would, more so because his aunt is in Africa, I think. I don't know.

I have to say, Alex is richer than I thought. I always knew that he had a fair bit of money, but Alex is a seventeen-year-old who is going to live on his own while paying all the bills, fees, insurance, whatever he needs to pay for, himself. And he's doing this without struggle, he's got his aunt's help anyway, because he has the money to do that—a seventeen-year-old.

He's incredibly privileged to have grown up in such a wealthy family.

There is $150 in my bank account at most; God knows how much is in his.

I guess that's sad to think about, to be honest. Alex shouldn't be going off to live on his own, having to pay everything out of his own pockets, when he's only a junior in high school, regardless of how much money he has.

It seems so unfair and the fact that his dad doesn't give a single shit, being the person who forced this upon him, is incredibly cruel. And his mum as well. She's not harsh, and I know she had to struggle through the abuse Alex endured as well; however, she has not made any effort to help her son. My mum has made it her unofficial job to help with that, especially as she understands what it's like to lack motherly love when it's needed the most.

She'll never fill the motherly role for him, that's not what she's trying to do as mum knows that's downright intrusive, but she's trying to offer the support his mother should be giving him. And it's seemingly working, evident by the way Alex tries his all to express his gratefulness towards her and does not make her forget it.

The thing Alex has been looking forward to the most, as well as having more freedom to do what he likes in his home, especially when I'm over he says, is being able to see his daughter every weekend easily.

Because of this agreement he has with Chloe's mother where he sees her every available weekend while living at mine Alex has taken every opportunity possible to see her. It's proven difficult as he has no home to bring her back to look after her.

Of course, he could have always brought her back to my place and looked after her there, but he didn't want her to meet me until he knew we were in a serious enough relationship to prevent her from growing too attached when there is a higher risk that we would split up.

I'm not sure how long it takes for the relationship to turn serious, I think it's around the 90-day mark which we are nearing, but as he's asked me if I wanted to meet her once he's moved into his new apartment, I'm guessing we're serious enough now. It makes me nervous and excited at the same time.

"Matthew, Tesoro, may I speak with you alone please?" My mother asks me as I walk into my kitchen to make myself a coffee. Alex is already sat at the breakfast bar, eating cereal.

As I'm about to answer, Alex gets up out his seat to leave the room. I can see the panic flash through my mum's eyes at the prospect of seeming rude, asking to speak with me alone; it's like appearing rude in the slightest towards Alex is one of her fears. I try not to laugh. "Oh no, Alex, you don't have to go anywhere! Matthew and I can find somewhere else."

"Don't worry, Tina, I've finished anyway." He reassures her and puts his empty bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. "Morning gorgeous," he says to me on his way out with a kiss on my forehead.

"Così adorabili, voi due (so adorable, you two)!" She exclaims as soon as he's out of the room. "Oh, I do not want him to leave; he is so polite and charming! You got so lucky with him, as he did with you."

"I know I did, mamma," I say sheepishly, blushing at her compliment as well as the fact that I am lucky to have him. I begin to ask her what she wanted to talk to me about when Isaak comes running into the room.

"Matty! Hug!" He yells, charging at me with his arms flung open, ready to jump into my arms. When he sees that I'm not about to pick him up because of the strict no-picking-up-Isaak-unless-he's-tired-or-sick rule, he halts in front of me and pouts, reaching out to me. "Up."

He gives up after seeing my expression, knowing that I'm not easily persuaded by a pout, so he chooses to wrap his arms around my leg instead. He doesn't even try to attempt to convince my mother into picking him up as she's the most stubborn person in the house. I ruffle up his hair, making him giggle.

Looking at Isaak, my mother seems to be reminded of something, "Oh, yes, I wanted to talk to you about Alex's daughter."

"What about her?"

"Well, he spoke with me a while ago about introducing you to her. Before you ask, I did say that it is a good idea, sí, but also that it was up to him, as long as he was sure that he was ready. Last night he told me that he asked you a few days ago and you said yes. I just wanted to ask what your thoughts were about this. I know you would have said yes to meeting her no matter how you felt about it for Alex's sake, but I think it's good to express how you are feeling. So?"

I smile at my mum, a silent way of thanking her for the support because it means the world to me, "I want to meet her. Alex talks about her a lot, and she seems so sweet, you know. I don't expect to be a part of her life properly, but, I don't know," I shrug, "I want to Alex to introduce me to more of his life."

"Yes, I think that it is good that he is opening up a bit more. He keeps too much to himself, that boy." She frowns, "I know this must be a big deal to him, but I would like to say to you that you need to be sure too, not just him. It is alright if you're not. Kids can grow attached easily, trust me, some of my patients have grown attached to me, and it is heartbreaking when I discharge them."

"I know that," I respond. I've seen Isaak grow overly attached to his favourite daycare worker.  Some days, he refuses to come home, clinging to her neck, kicking and screaming 'no, I don't want to go!'. I look down at him still clutched to my leg.

"If you are not sure and would like to wait a bit longer in case you do not want her to grow too fond of you, that is OK. You should think about the future too. If you and Alex work out and you get married, forgive me if I am going too fast with your relationship here, but you will become the girl's step-father and will ultimately be responsible for her too. I am not saying this to scare you away from them; I only want to let you know about the importance of this and that it is OK to say no."

I pause for a second before I reply, "I have thought about it. Trust me, I have a lot, especially since he asked me, and I still want to meet her. I love Alex, mamma, I want this relationship to last. I want to be a part of Chloe's life if he wants me to be, I don't mind at all, I'll be more than happy." I say truthfully. I know that as long as it makes Alex happy, then that's all I care about if I'm honest.

"You love him?" She asks, smiling before she takes a sip from her coffee to hide it.

Without skipping a beat, I nod, "I do, yeah."

"Have you told him?"

"Not yet." I shake my head, "I am planning on it, though. I'm just waiting for the right moment."

My mum drains her coffee and puts the mug in the dishwasher before coming over to me and kissing me on the forehead as Alex did not too long before. "I am so proud of you. So mature, il mio bambino. You're growing up too fast! Ti amo." Then she's left the room after taking Isaak by the hand, away from my leg.

Should I be freaked out about the whole meeting Chloe thing just from that conversation? I have not changed my mind one bit. I still want to meet her; it's just everything has kind of been put into perspective, hearing my mum saying it herself.

It has made the reason I want to meet Chloe more meaningful. I am with Alex and I love him. I want to experience everything that comes with having Alex in my life. I want to show him that I'm solely dedicated to us.

I've thought about it a whole lot but hearing someone else say it, about how I'd be a step-father and how I'll have to take care of her in years to come, it makes me realise my upcoming responsibilities. I won't have them for a good few years yet, but I am planning on staying with Alex for a good few years, the rest of my life if I can, as that's the whole point of a relationship. My plans will be affected by this but am I willing to stay in this relationship and accept that?

Yes, absolutely.

Because that's what being in love is. Relationships are about having an equal partnership, and Alex can't change that he has a daughter. I don't want to lose him, especially not over something like this because that's not fair on him. I honestly don't mind that he's a dad and that this relationship may shift some of my plans. At all. It kind of amazes me how much I don't mind.

I have thought about this. I've put a lot of thought into this. It's not like I've made an on the spot decision to accept this completely. And that's fair, right?

And it's this. Thinking of the future and being with Alex, getting married and having a family with him is what makes me happy. It feels so good. So fresh. So natural. I don't count Chloe as family, that would be weird, but if sometime in the future, Alex does want me to count her as family, I will. For him. For us.

I'm genuinely OK with this.

Alex and I try our best to present our relationship by how other people view it as best as we can: with fake hate, not real love. We try to avoid being suspicious, and we hardly speak to each other unless we hide away in our secret spot. This spot is a passageway I had never known existed — it's how Alex gets to his classes a lot quicker than others; like that one time in art when I noticed it the first time.

I'm pretty sure the passageway is out-of-bounds, and we'd get detention if we got caught in it, but I don't care. It's kind of sweet how Alex made it our little meeting up spot.

It's lunchtime when Alex does the signal we do when we want to meet up in that spot as he walks past the cafeteria table I'm sat at; he adjusts his tie and then nods. I catch on to this straight away and excuse myself, telling the others that I need to use the bathroom. Then I'm out of there as quick as a flash, hoping this would be a make-out session of some sorts.

He kisses me as soon as I've reached him in said passageway.

"Not the reason why I wanted to meet you here, but I've been dying to kiss you all day." He says, still holding me close to him.

"It's not? Disappointing. I'll go then." I frown then let out a soft laugh, letting him know that I was joking. He gives me an eye roll.

He clears his throat, a habit of his that he still has like smirking and using the word 'dude', although he hasn't called me dude in ages. He's replaced the name with 'baby', which makes me feel a bit special, "No, um, I wanted to let you know that I don't want to do tutoring tonight."

I step away from his hold and give him a questioning look, "What, why? We need to do it, though."

"Yeah, I know, but I got the keys to the apartment, and I was hoping that you would want to let me show you around it before I move in and stuff."

I light up instantly, "Oh? That's so exciting." I say, beaming.

As he's rich, I already know that the apartment is probably going to be all big and fancy. Honestly, I've never stepped foot in anything a rich person would live in excluding tourist attractions and Alex's (old) house. I never actually got to explore the house anyway. The only rooms I've been in are the dining room and his bedroom.

"So that's a yes, right?" He responds, quickly adding, "Unless you want to stay home and do chemistry, that's cool. I can show you round another day. Or never if you don't want to."

"Il mio amore, do you even know me? Me willingly doing chemistry? Are you delusional?" I laugh, "No, if you tell me you can show me around your new fancy apartment today, I want to be shown around today. You know how impatient I am."

"Cool, then it's settled then. You can go back to lunch," He says before giving me a suggestive look, pulling me towards him, "Unless you wanted to stay and, I don't know, make-out or something?"

"To be fair, neither. I want to talk to you about something which indirectly involves moving into your new apartment thing." I say, and Alex gives me a look as if to say 'oh?'. Hence, I take it as my cue to start explaining, "My mum spoke to me about the whole meeting Chloe thing once you move into the apartment and like, let me know of responsibilities. Like, if we get married, I'd be her step-father and stuff and, I don't know. More stuff." I quickly realise that I'm clueless about this.

"And more stuff?" He chuckles, "You don't have to meet her if you don't want to. I understand if it freaks you out."

"No! No, it doesn't, don't worry. I want to meet her a hundred per cent. I just wanted to know that if we do wind up getting married or in a long term relationship, would I have any responsibilities surrounding her?" I ask because I figured there would be no harm in asking if I'm curious about it. Nonetheless, there is a possibility he could get mad about me taking this meeting her thing too far, leaving me thoroughly embarrassed.

"Only if you want to."

I breathe, "Oh. Oh, OK."

"Look, I just want you to be comfortable. Relationships and me having a kid haven't worked out in the past, and I hope you're OK with it all. If I'm honest, when we, as you said, get married or are in a long term relationship, I do want us to care for her together. That's like a little fantasy of mine. I know that you may not want that at all, that's fine. We've only been in this relationship for nearly three months, and I know I take things a bit fast, but that's just because I love you and I've been waiting to have you for ages. You don't have to answer anything now. You don't even have to meet her, just know that meeting her now doesn't mean I expect you to be a carer for her."

"Hey, it's OK. You have nothing to worry about, Alex. Again, I want to meet her. If you want me to care for her alongside you when you see her on the weekends, then I'll be right there with you, even if that's what you want now. I get how hard it must be to be on your own looking after her as you're so young. I want to help you with that. I don't care how fast this is. It's our relationship, and this stuff is difficult for you, especially with your parental issues. I'm your boyfriend, that's what I'm here for, always."

"What would I do without you? I do love you."

I hold his hand and grip it tightly, to which he grips mine back: a wordless way of saying 'we're in this together'. Because I know we haven't been in a relationship for too long, and it's only now that it's serious, but Alex is a seventeen-year-old boy who is a father to an eighteen-month-old child, going off to live on his own. If he needs help, whether that's with looking after Chloe or with moving homes, my family and I will be here.

And it's settled. Alex is going to move into his new home, I'm going to meet Chloe, and we are going to be alright.

Hey, I believe in you. Whatever you're striving for, you will get there. You can do this.