Chapter Fifty: I'm Going To Kill Them All

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WARNERS POV

"No!" I yell. "No—"

My heart stops.

My entire world stops as she closes her eyes. Her desperate, gut-wrenching scream from moments earlier still echoes in my head.

"Juliet!" Her name strangles from my raw throat as I search frantically for the ambulance that is supposed to be here.

"Where is the fucking ambulance?!" I yell at the nearby cop.

"They are still two minutes out. Sir I am going to need you to calm down." He is looking at me like I am a ticking time bomb.

"Calm down? I just watched the love of my life get the shit kicked out of her while I sat there and did nothing. I watched these men sexually assault her while I had no choice but to watch with a gun to my head. I will not calm down." I spit at him. I know I shouldn't be yelling at a cop, but I don't give a shit. Not when my Juliet is unconscious in my arms.

I can't lose her.

She has to be okay. Choking back sobs, I look at her limp body and cradle her head in my hands.

"I'm here, baby. You're okay." I smooth her hair out of her face and it's damp with blood. "You're okay."

But would she be okay? I know that the memories of this night will haunt me for the rest of my life. Watching those men touch her while I sat and did nothing. I can't think about it anymore.

I'm going to kill them all

"One minute out." The cop tells Kenji and me.

Kenji is silent for the first time in all the years I have known him.

"Juliet..." My voice is a raspy whisper as I reach for her wrist to check for a pulse, but the uncontrollable shaking of my body makes it impossible to feel even a faint beat.

I'm frozen, clinging desperately to her hand, pressing it to my chest as if my own insanely beating heart can somehow bring her back to life. Our entire life together bolts through my mind. I'm paralyzed by it. Every moment of our, crazy, whirlwind love story flips by like the pages of a book.

I have no memory of running down the parking lot, my head dripping blood and Juliet in my arms as I jump in front of the ambulance to flag it down.

____________

"Warner?"

Hours ago, I forced everyone to leave the hospital room. They left slowly. Reluctantly.

I'm not at all surprised that Kenji is still here.

He crosses the dim private room to where I'm sitting in a hard chair, hunched over the side of Juliet's bed. He touches my shoulder and leaves his hand there. "I'm here."

I nod, not taking my eyes off Juliet's bruised and swollen face. Not letting go of her hand. Not moving an inch away from her.

Kenji squeezes my shoulder. "Let me take you home."

I shake my head, my eyes still glued to Juliet's face. "No."

"You've got blood all over you. You've been here for hours. You're exhausted and hungry and—"

"I'm not leaving her." I raise her cold hand to my lips to press a kiss against her hand.

"Warner...you gotta get some rest."

I squeeze Juliet's hand tighter, watching her for an eye blink, a tiny twitch of her lips—anything. "No."

He lets out a deep sigh. "Then I'm not leaving, either."

I know Kenji feels just as guilty as I do. It was his phone the men took and texted off. But unlike me, it wasn't actually his fault. He had been running the track and left his phone on the bleachers while he ran. Paul had taken it and texted me off it while he was running. It wasn't till he got back to our dorm, showered and ate that he went to text me and saw the text he didn't send.

By then it was too late.

It wasn't his fault. It was mine for thinking it would be so easy. So easy to leave my dad's business without anyone getting hurt. And now Juliet was paying the price for my mistakes.

"Please leave Kenji, I will be back soon." I don't even glance at him but I hear him leave after a few minutes.

I'd moved past the point of total exhaustion hours ago and was now in that zombie-like autopilot mode that takes over when nothing seems real anymore. I keep thinking that this must be a horrible dream, I'll wake up any second and everything will be back to normal.

But with every minute that ticks by, the awful reality of the situation crashes in.

_______

I am still sitting by her bedside when another doctor tries to get me to leave.

"Mr. Brooks, I am going to respectfully request you go home and rest. I assure you; your girlfriend is in the very best hands."

"I'm going to respectfully tell you there's no fucking way I'm leaving."

Sighing, the gray-haired doctor walks to the other side of Juliet's bed, checks the various monitors she's hooked up to, then gives me a well-trained, compassionate smile. He takes his glasses off and puts them in the front pocket of his white coat.

I shift in the hard chair and lean my elbows into the mattress. I'll spend the rest of my life sitting next to this bed as long as Juliet is in it.

"It's been over eight hours," he says, his tone softer. "Visiting hours are over if you—"

I snap my head up to glare at him. "I don't want to hear it."

He clears his throat. "Fine. But I have to say something before she wakes up. We checked her vitals, and they are not good. Her blood pressure is low, she has abnormal blood counts, there is a bluish discoloration on her fingers, her heart rate is irregular, and she is severely dehydrated. Do you know what that means Mr. Brooks?"

"No. I don't."

"She's suffering from anorexia. Her body is weak. Surely as her boyfriend, you knew something was wrong."

Pressure builds in my chest, constricting my heart and lungs. A ball of thick agony rolls up into my throat, choking me.

Suffocating me.

I can't breathe.

Hot tears well in my eyes as I reach up and gently stroke Juliet's cheek. Yes of course I knew something was wrong. I have spent months on blogs and therapists' websites trying to help her. I've been secretly paying for her therapy and trying to support her the best I can.

She said she was getting better. She was seeing a therapist. Surely, she didn't lie to me?

"She might need to be checked into another hospital if she doesn't start recovery soon," the doctor says. "I'm very sorry."

I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I refuse to look at his face and hear his words.

"You don't know her."

She wouldn't lie to me about getting better. He doesn't know my Juliet. She is getting better.

"I don't know her, but I know that she can't continue living as she is. I know this is hard to hear but when she gets up you will need to talk to her. She can admit herself to a hospital where she will have a whole team at her disposal." He gives me an awkward pat on the shoulder and I want to punch him for telling me this right now. I can't deal with this.

"She isn't going to another hospital she is going to come home. She will get better." I don't look at him, I just stare at my Juliet who looks so frail in the hospital bed.

"Regardless, we will have to talk to her when she wakes up. We have an eating disorder specialist that could be a great help in her recovery."

I tug the edge of the faded, light-blue hospital blanket up, almost to her shoulder, and slip her hand into mine again. Her palm feels warmer. I'm sure it does. "She just needs rest. And quiet. Do you know how noisy this place is? She gets headaches...sometimes she has to sleep in a quiet room to feel better. I don't have to be a brain surgeon to know that she needs quiet after being hit in the head." I swallow hard over the ever-present lump in my throat. "She just needs a little extra rest. Right?"

He nods at me but doesn't look so sure.

A beefy security guard shows up ten minutes later to kick me out. I would fight him too, but I am beginning to stink and I want Juliet to hug me when she wakes up. Hug me without wanting to vomit at my stench.

However, I'm afraid to leave.

I'm afraid if I don't stay here touching her, whispering to her, she'll slip further away...and I'll lose her forever.

The moment the thought of losing her ebbs into my mind, I'm almost paralyzed by the deep, heart-twisting pain that grows in my chest and spreads out to my limbs, searing into every molecule of my being, as if she's being ripped out of me.

I won't let her go. Ever.

Leaning down, I gently kiss her cheek.

"I'll be back soon, baby. I promise," I whisper. "You rest. Dream of us. I love you."

"Let's go." The security guard grunts, looking annoyed.

"Okay." I put my hands up in surrender. "I'll go home." I step backward toward the door. "I love you," I tell her, hoping she can hear me.

For the first time in a while, I leave without kissing her goodbye, and it feels as if my soul is being torn out of my body and fed into a shredder.

I don't allow myself to fall apart until I'm in my car.

____

When I open the door to our floor, I see everyone sprawled across the living room. Abby and Winston are sleeping on one of the couches, Sarah and Amy on the other. Adam is sleeping sitting up in one of the armchairs and Kenji has taken up the spot on the floor.

It's good to know that I'm not the only one worried sick about Juliet. I had to sit them all down in the hospital and explain what really happened. About the betting, my dad and the plan with the police.

How it all went wrong.

After a much-needed shower, I ease myself onto my bed. The mattress feels foreign. No longer comforting, but somehow untrustworthy. Like it might swallow me up in a sinkhole of blankets, sheets, and memories. The absence of Juliet is deafening, screaming from every corner of the room. Her scent embedded in the pillows both intoxicates and mocks me. So much of her is here...but she's not.

I can't sleep because all I picture is her with a gun to her head. Jared taking off her clothes. Jared hitting her. Paul touching her.

I've never felt so utterly defeated. Only one night without her touch, her voice, her smile, and my world feels as if it's crumbled into ruins. We've been apart many times before. But not like this.

I grab my cell phone from the nightstand and call my dad again. He hasn't answered a single call from me.

I'm sent to voicemail again so I open my voice messages, and press play on a message Juliet sent me last week. My hand shakes as I grip the phone. Her cheerful voice drifts from the small speaker.

Hi superstar! I just saw an article in the newspaper about you and how you are the up-and-coming hot shot for the 2023 pro season! I can't believe I am dating a future professional athlete. I might have bought every copy in the store. I love you and I'm so proud of you!

I suck in a deep breath that feels like it could be my last. A tear falls down my cheek and lands on the phone screen with a tiny splash.

She sounds so happy. So sweet. So hopeful. So, mine. So alive.

I play the message again.

And again.

I bury my face in her pillow, suffocating the screaming sobs I can't swallow back anymore. I play her message once again, needing to hear her voice, and beg the universe that she will be okay when she wakes up.

I will never forgive myself for this.

After closing my eyes for ten minutes I know sleep is not going to happen for me tonight so I get changed and ready to head back to the hospital. The security said nothing about sleeping in my car in the parking lot till I could see her.

I try to sneak out of my room as quietly as possible, but my efforts are futile because Abby is standing in the kitchen wide awake now with her arms crossed "Going somewhere?"

"Back to the hospital, I need to be there when she wakes up." I try to step around her, but I know she isn't planning on letting me leave alone.

"We need to be there. I'm coming with you."

I know there is no point arguing with her, she is Juliet's best friend, so I nod, and we walk to my car in silence. I drive with my mind on autopilot, and I don't even notice Abby is talking until she nudges my arm.

"Did you hear me? It's not your fault. You didn't know those men would text off of Kenji's phone. You couldn't have done anything else—"

She was targeted by four men with guns because of me. She was attacked because I didn't protect her. She was hurt because I failed her.

"Please. Don't." I cut Abby off and pull into the parking lot.

Nothing is going to ease the guilt I feel. I just need to see Juliet. Once I see her awake and alive, I will move to the next stage of my plan.

Killing every single man who had a hand in what happened last night.

After a long period of silence in the parking lot, Abby gets out to walk and grab some coffee for us, sensing I want to be alone. As soon as she steps out I am left alone with my thoughts.

My mind is punishing me.

Replaying Paul hitting Juliet over the head with the gun. Jared undressing her. All while I watched like a coward.

I scramble for my wallet needing some sort of comfort. Opening the side compartment I pull out a picture that always brings me comfort. A photo Juliet begged me to burn or throw away. I smile at the thought of her yelling at me for keeping it in my wallet.

It's an old photo of us from a debate competition during our sophomore year that Tracey took. I had been crushing on Juliet for years at this point and it took me a full day to find the courage to ask for a photo. I remember telling her that my mom asked for the photo when really it was me with the sweaty palms who begged my mom not to tell.

Our team had just won first place in the debate competition. We had spent the whole weekend arguing with each other over who would hold the trophy in the photos. Juliet won the argument, so she has a genuine smile on her face in the photo, holding the trophy in front of her with pride. I have an arm around her, she was too distracted by the trophy to throw it off, so my smile is genuine as well.

I trace a finger over her face and feel another wave of sadness. I wish I could have told her how I felt back then. Then maybe I would've stood up to my dad a long time ago and none of this would have happened.

I shove the polaroid back into my wallet and take a breath. Again, I am reminded of Juliet because she is everywhere. My car freshener is her favourite bath and body works scent, I always pretended it was because it was my favourite as well, but I knew it was just because it smelled like her.

Even when we didn't talk, I continued to buy the same scent for years.

Abby raps on the car window, thankfully breaking me from my pity party. When I look at her I see that we aren't alone. Kenji, Adam, Sarah and Amy are all standing behind Abby, all of them holding coffees.

"You didn't think we would let you sit in that waiting room alone did you?" Sarah holds out a coffee to me and I grunt out a thank you.

___

I still can't sleep.

All of us are spread out across the waiting room.

It was 8 am and we still haven't been told anything. I had been in this waiting room for several hours already and I still wasn't allowed to see her. I felt like a caged animal, not only in this room but in my own skin.

I pace every inch of the space, stopping next to the windows and staring out without seeing anything. I sit down on the green chairs I now hate, close my eyes, and lean back. After a while, I open my eyes, rest my elbows on my legs, and put my head in my hands...this was torture.

I suck in a ragged breath, looking around the dimly lit room with all of us waiting for visiting hours to start. This mess was eating at me little by little. My dad still hasn't answered any of my calls. I'd dragged Juliet and all of my friends into the middle of a mess made by a man that didn't give a shit about me.

I sip my coffee trying to think of a way to kill Paul, Jared and the two other pieces of shit who held those guns to our heads. They were in police custody now, but jail wouldn't be enough for what they did. 

I wanted blood

I never thought myself to be a bloodthirsty man until Juliet came along. I would kill anyone that hurt her.

And they hurt her.

I squeezed my coffee cup and it started to spill out the sides.

"Woah there." Abby grabs the coffee out of my hands and places it on the side table.

I don't say anyone and notice that Amy has moved to sit on my other side, Sarah joins shortly after. The three of them stare at me, they look afraid. They should be. I was very close to losing my shit. 

Was this some sort of intervention?

"What?" I grunt, my eyes still on the door.

"We wanted to talk about Juliet. We noticed she isn't getting better when it comes to...-" Abby trails off but I know what she is talking about.

Clenching and unclenching my hand, I look up at her from my seat, taking my eyes off the door. "Did the doctor say something to you?"

"Yes. He talked about her vitals and his concerns about her. And I think when she wakes up we might need to sit her down and talk about the next steps." Sarah fills in, her voice is all business.

"And what would those be?" I ask.

"Maybe a program of some sort? I know this isn't the time but you aren't the only one who is worried about her. I was brushing her hair the other day and—" Amy starts but I stand up because I can't hear anymore. Starting to get angry, I get up and start pacing right next to the windows.

"Please. Stop. I can't hear this. Not right now—" I can't hear them tell me more ways I failed. More things I didn't notice. Juliet was getting sicker, and I was too selfish and wrapped up with my dad that I didn't notice.

"You're going to wear a hole in the ground."

I throw Sarah a look, one I hope is menacing. "Then I'll wear a damn hole in the ground and pay for the damages."

I was an asshole without Juliet. She was kind, compassionate and never talked down to anyone. Yet here I was, two seconds away from murdering Sarah for looking at me wrong. I bet they all wished it was me laying in that bed instead of her.

It should've been me.

After being coaxed to sit back down, I am saved from any more conversation because a nurse comes into the waiting room. Her eyes linger on Adam shamelessly.

I spring up from my seat again, my limbs prickling from all the hours I have sat in this uncomfortable chair.

"Juliet is awake now. She has a bad concussion, so we don't want to overwhelm her with visitors." She smiles at us as if everything is perfectly fine.

"When can I see her?" I try to ask nicely but it comes out as an angry demand.

Like I said, I was an asshole without Juliet.

"Only family can see her at the moment."

I rub a hand over my heart when I feel it tighten painfully, "I'm family." I lie

"I thought you were her boyfriend?" she asks me, sounding doubtful.

Adam seems to notice her interest in him because he stands up and gives her his best flirty smile even though I know he is just as tired as the rest of us. He cares about Juliet, and normally that makes me want to punch him in the face but right now it's to my advantage because he will distract the nurse for me.

"No, I can assure you that's her brother. Speaking of boyfriends... do you have one?" Adam gives her a very obvious once over and although the line isn't even a good one the

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