sorry for any mistakes.

Jace Sekani Knight.
Kani.. | May 11
-

"What's wrong with you?" King looked at me, snatching his change back from the lil Arab.

"Get out you rude ass boy. I'm ti'ed of y'all." He pointed at King.

"Suck my dick nigga." King waved him off, and grabbed his soda.

"Trin so weird." I made a face, putting my phone away before grabbing my Fanta pineapple soda.

"She still ain't talking to you?" He asked me as we walked out the corna' sto'.

"No, and I'an e'en did shit." I made a face, "I been nice as fuck to her ass, I'on know why she blocked me."

"Outside not even on my wavelength right now." Von leaned against the whip, with a towel over his head.

The fuck this nigga even talking about?

"Nigga what?" King looked at him.

"I'm high shit I don't know." He shrugged, "It's just different out here."

"Aye man, can I get some spare change?" I looked over to see the familiar ass crackhead asking me.

"Fuck out my face G." I mugged, pushing him back.

"Damn Kani, calm the fuck down. Who the hell pissed in yo bottle and called it Fanta?" Von said grabbing my arm.

"Fuck that nigga, let's go." I mugged.

"Man I just want some change. Its hot out here." He said again, "Come on please help a brotha' out."

I looked him in his face and he was really out of it. I mean he was so gone, he probably ain't even recognize me.

"Here." King said passing him a dollar.

"Jahir don't give that nigga shit, he don't need shit from us." I smacked my lips.

"Kani he can't buy much with a dollar. It is hot out here, maybe he'a buy something to keep him hydrated." Von spoke.

"Y'all niggas sound crazy." I chuckled, "That nigga a liar, he gone find a way. Crackheads always do."

That's one thing he was good for, finding a way.

"I 'preciate it man." His crackhead ass said to King and Von, before looking me up and down.

"Come on." Von nodded towards the car before getting in the passenger seat, and King got in the driver's seat.

I watched as he crossed the street and stopped on the corner before I seen another familiar looking face, Taylor.

We made eye contact, and she stared at me for awhile, until I broke it getting in the backseat of King car.

"Who was that?" Von asked, rolling his wood.

"Who shorty?" I said, opening my soda.

"Yeah, nigga she was looking yo ass in yo soul boa'." He laughed.

"Y'all don't kno' ha' ass?" I made a face, "She work at the trap on the east."

"Fa' real?" Von looked back, "She bad as hell."

"Thats Deandra friend," King spoke, pulling off, "She a lil hustling ass broad too. We hired her ass months ago Von."

"Well I want ha' ass, Kani I'ma tell Trin." Von joked.

"Man," I smacked my lips, "it ain't shit to tell her ass. I barely know shorty. I just wanted to see why her ass working the corner."

"She selling fa' us." King said in a 'duh' tone.

"Well I'm finna go buy from her," Von nodded, lighting the wood, "Cobi ready for a step mama anyways."

"Nigga you sound stupid as hell." King told him, as we laughed.

"Aye lemme see yo phone." I told Von.

"You pussy ass bitch." He looked back at me.

"Man you'on e'en kno' what I need it for." I smacked my lips.

"So you ain't finna try to call Trin?" He laughed, "You delusional as hell, I keep telling you she don't want yo ass fa' real."

"Why you in my business?" I mugged, "You gone lemme see or nah?"

"Here nigga with yo' begging ass." He said passing me his phone, blowing smoke in my face, "Sounding like ya' damn daddy."

"Ain't shit." King laughed, shaking his head.

"Bitch stop playing in my face." I snatched his shit from him.

"You a lil' simp." King shook his head laughing.

"Fuck y'all," I mumbled, "I just wanna know why I'm blocked.

TrinBins
connecting...

"Hel— Yes Sekani?" She said all dry.

"What is yo pro'lem?" I asked her confused.

"I'an got no problem." She shrugged.

"Why am I blocked then?" I blinked, not understanding.

She so weird, we was just cool this whole week and now I'm blocked.

"Is that all you called for?" She looked at me.

"Yeah, can you unblock me?" I asked.

"I'll think abou—"

"What you on T? You tryna make this work or not? I'm not finna go back and forth wit' you." I mugged.

She ain't say nothing for a minute, and continued doing whatever she was doing, "Look I'll come over when I get off work, I gotta go."

"Man a'ight whatever." I hung up, and passed Von back his phone.

"She hate yo ass." King laughed.

"I keep telling his ass that." Von laughed harder, passing King the wood.

"I think she done with me fa' real," I leaned my head against the window, "Text her and tell her I'm finna kill myself, I can't breathe."

"OH HELL NAH!" King exclaimed.

"This simp ass bitch going out sad." Von snickered, "Should've listened to big bro. I'a never tell you wrong."

"Y'all niggas laughing and I'm back here heartbroken." I mugged, scrolling on my phone.

Trin just do me so dirty. I'm tryna do right by her, not only for her, but myself too. She just make me wanna be a better person.

I'm really going through some shit and I'm trying so hard not to po' up. I wish my life was normal and I wish shit didn't bother me so much.

I let someone who was once the closest person to me cause so much pain, and that shit was beyond my control. Its like every time shit start going in my favor, some shit just pop back up and ruin the shit for me. I'on understand that shit.

I'an even a heartless ass nigga, and the shit I went through you would think I'd wake up every day hating the world.

PTSD really a bitch.

My pops was a fucking addict just worried bout his next fix; didn't care about nobody but his fucking self. Cause regardless, he was gone find a way. Even if it took hurting me in the process.

"Kani nigga come on. Boogie said they ready." King said snapping me out my thoughts, as we pulled in front of the trap.

"Isson." I nodded.

"You good nigga? I'an think you was serious about being heartbroken." Von sighed, "We was just playing wit' you."

"Nigga I'm good," I shook my head, opening the car door, "I was thinking of some other shit, but come on let's go get these niggas."

-

"I unblocked you." She mumbled, taking her shoes off.

"Why you block me in the first place?" I looked at her, as she closed my room door.

"Cause Kani," She sighed, rolling her eyes in frustration, "What you want with me? What are your intentions?"

"I thought I made it obvious." I said not understanding.

"Well you need to let me know, cause clearly I'm still confused." She sighed, laying on my bed.

"I want you T." I shrugged, "I wanna make shit work between us, let me know if you feel it's worth it tho. I'an tryna waste neither one of our time."'

"I do wanna make it work, but I'm scared." She pouted, "I'm starting to like you again way too much and I'on like det."

"Well look T, I wanna make this shit work between us. On some real shit, just me and you. I only want you, and all these childish ass games can go. No more back and forth, let the past go and let's start on a clean slate." I grabbed her face, making her look at me, "You'on wanna put a title on it, we ain't got to. We can go at whatever pace you want."

"I hate you so much." She mumbled, "Why you make me feel like such a weak bitch."

"I'm serious T." I mugged her.

"Ok, I wanna make it work." She looked at me, "But I'an yo girl until you ask me, the right way."

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I looked at her, and she started laughing, "The fuck is funny?"

"Oh you dead ass?" She stopped and made a 'yikes' face.

"I'm finna send yo ass to Winnfield G." I smacked my lips.

"Yes, I'll be ya girlfriend sweetheart." She said grabbing my face.

"Yo ass just ruined it." I mushed her head.

"Stop playinggg," She laughed, "I'll be ya girlfriend Sekani."

"A'ight, now post us so I know its real." I stared at her.

"Whattt?" She made the 'yikes' face.

"Move get off me." I shook my head, laughing.

"Come on, just vibe." She laughed, "I feel like that's gone jinx everything."

"Yeah a'ight. Don't get ya' head knocked off." I waved her off, "How ya' mama? Did you talk to her?"

"Nope." She shrugged.

The other night, Boogie and Trin went looking for her, and they caught her shooting up heroin in a warehouse.

As they said, they caught her ass again and had to unfortunately send her to rehab.

"Don't be like that to ya' mama T." I sighed, rubbing her back.

"She just straight up lied to me in my face Kani." She looked at me, rolling her eyes.

"Talk to her, she need you more than you think. Ain't no telling what happened to cause the slip up." I told her.

"Whatever," She made a face, "so you thought about seeing Chase yet?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I'ma get him this weekend coming up."

"So what you and Geles gone be co-parenting?" She asked.

"I guess so," I shrugged, "Chase ain't do nothing wrong. This shit was outta his control so I'an gon' make him suffer, cause he actually like me and attached to me fa' real."

"I respect it." She smiled, "How Geles feel about it?"

"I guess she ok with it," I shrugged, "she ain't really say. As of now tho, I can get him most weekends."

"Thats good." She nodded.

"I seen my pops earlier." I spoke.

"Really? Where?" She looked at me.

"Xavier's corna' sto." I told her, "I'on know if he recognized me or not, but his ass was begging for some money."

"Did he look down bad?" She said, climbing in my lap.

"Man that nigga was outta here." I shook my head, "Look like he finna die soon."

"Whole time my mama and yo daddy pro'lly shooting up together." She joked.

"You ain't shit." I laughed, "Stop doing ya' mama like that. At least she willing to get clean."

"I'm playing, I'm playing." She chuckled.

I shook my head, pulling her down, and we just laid there for a minute enjoying each other's company. It wasn't even an awkward silence that fell over us, it was more so comforting.

I was just happy to be in her presence.

"Jace?"

"Yuh?"

"You ain't sipped no mo' since the last time have you?" She asked.

"Nah." I lied, since she didn't know about the time Von n'em caught me.

That was really the last time, so I felt like it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Ok," She nodded, "You haven't thought about it have you?"

I stayed quiet for a minute, and then finally spoke up, not wanting to lie to her again, "I have, I ain't gone lie. I'm not gone do it tho' T."

"Please, let me know if you think you gonna do it again. Let me help you, I can't even stomach the thought of you—"

"I know, I know." I sighed, kissing her forehead, "I gotchu."

I'an gone do it, last time I was heavily sipping I ended up having a seizure and that shit scared everybody. Shit even me.

I was just gone have to find another way to cope with my trauma.

—
thoughts?
ideas?