Ricardo Parker, otherwise known as Ric, became both my flatmate and my nemesis within ten minutes of our first meeting. Although, technically, I guess he actually became my enemy ten minutes before I met him in person.

Two months ago, I was desperate to find a flatshare. I'd been living with Lou, but she had just decided to move her boyfriend in. And, to cut a long story short, they were loud. Their two favourite things to do were fight, and have sex. They executed both of these at excessively high volumes.

And it wasn't just me who had a problem with it. Neighbours would actually come to the door to complain. And I would be the one who usually had to deal with the moaning at the door, because they wouldn't hear over their own moaning. Obviously of a different kind.

It was affecting my Perfectly Positive Attitude, as well as hurting my ears, and I knew I had to get out of there.

I'd also been hoping, just a little, that Declan might suggest we rent a place together. We spent a lot of our time with one another, and it seemed like the logical next step. But he wasn't picking up on my very obvious nudges in this direction. Or perhaps he was choosing to ignore them. In retrospect, it was probably the latter.

"Sometimes I think it would be easier if I looked with someone else. If two of us were searching for a flat together, we could probably afford something decent just for . . . The two of us." I'd said meaningfully one time.

"Oh right, I didn't realise any of your friends were looking for a flat too," Declan had said. He seemed distracted. I gave up. I'd already dropped way too many hints by that point. It was starting to get embarrassing.

Shortly after this, he'd dropped the big break bombshell.

So I'd turned to the Internet. The good old reliable World Wide Web. Where everyone is exactly who they say they are, and no weirdos need apply.

Isn't it the best?

After trawling through many flatmates wanted adverts, I found what appeared to be a promising prospect. A room in a tenement flat near the Botanic Gardens. I'd always loved the idea of living in the west end; it had been my favourite area in Glasgow since my university days. If I couldn't live with Declan, then this might be my next best option.

Brimming with nervous excitement, I'd sent an enquiry, and after receiving more details I asked if I could come and view the room. I was already pretty set on moving in at this point; there was little else in my price range. In a very brief email back, Ric suggested the following day at 10am.

The next day was a Saturday, and to be honest I wasn't best pleased at having to get there so early. I very much valued my lazy weekend mornings in bed. But, keen to appear flexible and agreeable - The Perfect Potential Flatmate - I consented.

But when I turned up and pressed the buzzer to flat 1/2 at precisely 10am, I received fuck all response.

I buzzed several times. Several hundred times, probably. I even tried out different patterns of buzzing, as I grew progressively more bored and impatient.

Still nothing.

Eventually, at 10.15, when I was finally about to give up, a neighbour coming out of the close let me in. At this point, I wasn't even sure if I wanted access to the building. This Ric guy clearly wasn't reliable. Did I really want to live with a flake?

But I was also pretty wound up by this point, angry steam burning my ears. So I stomped up the stairs, and pounded on the flat door repeatedly.

After about a minute of banging, I heard slow footsteps and the turning of a lock. "Can you please quit with the noise? I have the headache from hell."

The guy standing in front of me ran a hand through brown bedhead hair. He was wearing nothing but an old pair of jogging bottoms, lying low on his hips. There were abs, I noted. Quite nice abs. Not like a six-pack or anything, but I could certainly see why he would want to show them off by walking around topless.

His skin was lightly tanned and smooth, apart from a light smattering of chest hair. He cleared his throat and I realised I'd been staring at his torso for at least ten seconds, and I hadn't yet said a word.

I raised my eyes to his face. His eyes were narrowed, as if he was still trying to adjust to being conscious, but I could see they were considerably darker than his hair. His angular face was guarded, stubbly, and not particularly friendly. I couldn't make a clear decision on whether he was handsome or not.

Throughout all this, I still hadn't spoken. I was still trying to find my voice; I'd crashed and all my angry adrenalin had left my body. I was also still a bit out-of-breath from sprinting up the stairs, but that's neither here nor there.

"Do you want something?" He'd asked finally. "Or have you just turned up to ogle me, then maybe get an ASBO for disturbing the peace?"

Those words, as well as his slightly dismissive air, got me riled up again. "I'm assuming you're Ric? I'm here to see the room," I said icily. "You told me 10am. I've been trying to get in the building for more than 15 minutes."

He winced. "Sorry about that; I was sure I said 11 o'clock." He didn't seem particularly apologetic. "I had a late one last night."

"You definitely said 10." I was already fumbling through my bag for my phone. "I can show you the email proof if you're at all in doubt."

"Nah, it's fine. I believe you." He stepped aside and gestured me into the hallway. He was actually holding a t-shirt in one hand, and I was highly relieved when he tugged it over his head, and the abs vanished. But, also, a little disappointed. "Alison, right?"

"Abigail." I was beyond irritated by this point. "Abigail Watson. My friends call me Abby."

"Okay, Abigail," he said. Wow, pointed much? Oh well, I didn't want to be his friend anyway! "Let me show you around."

I already knew I didn't want to live with this guy. But the flat . . . I could already see it was amazing. It was decorated simply, but everything looked perfect for the large, airy space. He showed me the living room, with its massive bay windows and what looked like the world's comfiest couch. I wanted to climb inside it and let it give me a massive hug.

"This room is communal," he told me. "You can use it whenever you want. I mostly don't bother."

I had a feeling I would enjoy snuggling on the sofa watching quiz shows on the massive TV. It seemed a waste to have such a lovely living room available and not use it.

The kitchen, once again, delighted me. Tenement kitchens aren't typically large, but this flat must have been renovated at some point, as it was a good size with plenty of counter space, and loads of gadgets. I loved cooking, so this was perfect. "You can use whatever you want in here," Ric said airily. "I don't spend much time in here either." He led me down the long narrow hallway.

"That's the bathroom there." He gestured to the door on his right, and I peeked in. Typical long tenement bathroom, complete with a bath/shower combo.

I glanced up at him. "Let me guess, you don't spend a lot of time in the bathroom either?" I asked snarkily.

He actually grinned at that, his eyes flashing suddenly with good humour. Turned out he was handsome. "Nah, that's one place I do hang out in a lot," he said, laughter evident in his voice. "Luckily for you though, I have an en-suite."

Okay, I was thinking at this point. So I effectively have a living room, kitchen and a bathroom to myself. I can live with that . . . even if it means living with a weirdo like Ric.

At the end of the corridor, he opened the door on the left. "This would be your room," he said. And I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face.

It was massive. "So much room for activities," I murmured.

"Did you just quote Stepbrothers?" Ric asked. I ignored him, walking into the centre of the room and slowly rotating to survey my surroundings. There was already a king-sized bed, desk, some drawers and a wardrobe in there, but there was still so much space.

It was perfect.

"I'll take it," I said, turning to face Ric. He looked surprised.

"You will?"

I backtracked a bit. "I mean, if that's okay with you? Are you comfortable living with a girl?"

He scoffed at that. "I've got sisters; what do you think?"

"So can I move in then?" I pressed. I still was not remotely a fan of Ric, but it didn't sound like I'd need to see him much anyway.

He shrugged, looking like he really couldn't care less. "Sure. If you want."

He walked me back towards the flat door, telling me I could move in whenever I wanted, even today. "It's a six month contract," he added. "But after that you can just take it month by month."

I nodded. "Cool. I'm pretty sure it will just be the six months though." I was sure Declan and I would be proper couple again very soon, and by then he would be fully on board with the idea of living together . . . and I highly doubted Ric would want both of us living there with him.

"Oh?" One of Ric's eyebrows shot up questioningly.

"My boyfriend and I will probably get a place," I explained, despite myself. "Once we get back together."

The other eyebrow joined its brother halfway up his forehead, before they both bungeed back down into a confused frown. "So in six months you think you're going to be living with a guy who has already broken up with you," he summed up. "That's insane."

Well, when he put it that way...

"We're just on a break," I protested. "He just needs a bit of time before he can commit fully."

Ric shook his head. "He might have called it a break," he said quietly. "But that definitely sounds more like a break-up to me. I don't think you should be getting your hopes up about moving in with him anytime soon."

For a moment I thought I detected sympathy in those depthless dark eyes. But it flickered away moments later. His chiselled face hardened, and his whole general demeanour made my temper flare again.

"You're wrong," I said angrily. "You don't know Declan."

He laughed at that, but it was a grim chuckle, one I couldn't detect any humour in. "Oh I know a lot of guys like Declan," he stated, his voice dry. "Just you wait. You'll see."

I opened my mouth to argue again but, at that point, the only door Ric hadn't showed me behind swung open. I'd assumed it was his bedroom, and I was correct, if the pretty brunette standing in just a t-shirt was anything to go by.

"Are you coming back to bed, Ric?" Her voice was plaintive. Oh god, had I interrupted them having sex?

"Just give me a minute, Beth," he said, sudden warmth in his voice as he smiled across at her. It annoyed me a little that he clearly could be charming when he wanted to be, but had refused to turn it on for me. Then again, he clearly didn't want sexual favours from me. The girl cast me a curious glance, before going back into the bedroom and closing the door.

"Sorry about that," he said, grabbing a set of keys from a hook next to the door. "Like I said, it was a late one last night."

I was definitely getting "player" vibes from Ric. I wondered if he was a musician too. I rolled my eyes, but if he noticed, he chose to ignore it.

"Main door, storm door, flat door, back door," he explained, indicating each key before he handed the bunch to me. They were attached to a keyring which read In a world full of dickheads, you're my favourite. I would be swapping that out immediately, that was for sure. "Like I said, move in whenever you want."

I nodded, slipping the keys into my bag. "It'll probably be in the next few days."

He shrugged. "Whatever. Whenever." He was already backing away towards his room, and probably the prospect of some more wild sex.

"I don't think those Shakira lyrics are quite right," I muttered, opening the front door. As I closed it, I was positive I heard a sudden bark of laughter.

And that, folks, was my first - of many - irritating encounters with Ric.

Fun fact about me: for nearly ten years I lived in a flatshare with a constantly changing rota of up to five other flatmates (all female except on one occasion). I actually made a lot of good friends due to the living situation over the years, but there were also a few flatmates who really drove me nuts. I may use some of them as inspiration, going forward . . .

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