Chapter 158

"Hi mum," Adria whispered, her hand tightly clasped in Sirius' whilst she watched Jude push himself forward onto the grass, waddling over to the gravestone that stood proudly, littered with snow but the boy didn't mind much, at all, actually, his small arms wrapped around the stone without so much as to why he was doing it, his young mind just knew it was right.

"Is she here, Addy?" asked Jude, his chubby cheeks red with the nippy air that engulfed them in the grave yard, head titled ever so slightly as he looked back at his sister with pain etched across her features, "can she see us?!"

"She can, baby, she's here," Adria nodded, reaching out her hand which Jude soon reluctantly took, soon waddling into her arms, and plopping himself onto her legs which crossed into a basket, "i-I've never been before."

"I know," Sirius mumbled softly, soon taking a seat beside her with a painful look which closely resembled Adria's written across his face, soon reaching for her hand which intertwined with his tightly, her eyes closed, welled with tears that threatened to spill, "she understands why."

She had been meaning to come thousands of time, every visit home since the day of her mother's passing did she wish to visit her, but she was restricted, there was an ache, a pain which told her that it wasn't a good idea, that seeing her mother wouldn't be good for anyone, it was horrid, and hurtful, and she wished she didn't feel the way she did about visiting the place.

The graveyard was sombre, dull, grey clouds engulfed the sky sending misery, no one wished to be in the graveyard, they wished that the people, the loved ones that they were visiting weren't here, but at home with wide smiling faces.

"This is pretty weird, Addy," Jude whispered, eyeing the gravestone in front of him, the strap of his dungarees falling over his arm, he had insisted that he not wear a coat because he was too cool for that, his own words, so the boy's cheeks had reddened drastically in the cold air.

"He sounds more and more like you every bloody day," Adria commented, wrapping her arm around the boy's stomach and pulling him down onto her lap, "it's alright baby, is there anything you wanna say to mummy?"

"I love you, mummy," Jude whispered, squirming suddenly in Adria's grip, and soon standing up to face the gravestone, "and I know you can't see me, or I can't see you, because Addy said so and Addy is always right, but I love you very much, and you are the best mummy in the world, Daddy says that you were very nice and kind and that I was named after you, an-and Benny says that you love me very much and that you did not want to leave me, b-but I understand mummy that you had to go and I hope that you're having fun in heaven!"

Adria took a deep breath, trying to wipe her tears before Jude could see her cry, he was such an intelligent boy, his speaking was impeccable at his age, it was hard not to admire him, and merlin, Adria did. Leaving him every year was the hardest thing she ever had to do, and as much as she would miss Hogwarts, she was so happy, so thankful, so relieved that she would never have to leave him behind again, she loved her brother far too much that having to leave him at the end of this week seemed like the hardest thing she would ever have to do.

"Addy are you gonna talk to mummy?" asked Jude, a smile wide on his lips, so pure and innocent, such a young mind not yet known of what had happened to their mother, Adria wished it would stay that way, that he would never know of the pain his mother was in, or the pain her family was in of her passing, she hoped that the boy would never blame himself for the death of his mother, he didn't need that kind of unhappiness in his life, he would never deserve that.

"Hey mum," Adria whispered softly, choking on the tears, her eyes trailed to Sirius who soon threw his arm around her, knowing that the pain he felt that the woman was gone was nothing compared to what Adria would feel, he needed to speak with the woman, he needed to talk to Judy Hopkins, but he couldn't do it with Adria there.

"The years have been crazy," she breathed out, tightening her grip on Sirius' hand, "I'm graduating soon, and well, the wizarding world is a little crazy tight now but I'm sure it will get better, that we'll fight through the pain, a-and if we have a guardian angel like you on our side then it would be a walk in the park. S-say hi to Ethel for me, will you? I miss her too, so much, we all do, but merlin mum it's not the same without you, it never will be, we all miss you so much.

I miss you so much mum, I still dream of you, of how happy life would be if you were there to laugh with me, to shout at me, I miss being grounded, I never really was but I wouldn't care much if I was grounded if it just meant that you where there with me.

But the thing is, I'm growing up, and that scares me more than anything, I'm a godmother now, and Peter, you remember Peter? Well he's going to be a dad soon, I'm only seventeen, but I know that in the middle of everything that's happening, when I leave, I'm going to have to mature, and become so much more responsible.

Sirius is here too, mum, he misses you, everything was so crazy when it happened, I've always wished to visit you but I just didn't know how to, it was so hard, so painful, but Jude needed to meet his mother, and I'm so happy that you'll be there to look over him, and me, and Sirius, and everyone.

S-Sirius and I were hoping to move in together after school, after seventh year which isn't far from ending, it's crazy, isn't it? b-but it just feels so right, we haven't told dad yet but I know that he'll be alright as long as I'm happy, I-I just don't want to leave him on his own, neither does Sirius but I don't want him to be in danger, nor do I want Benji to be in Danger, what will happen, if I'm fighting in this war to protect myself and my friends then my family shouldn't be trapped in it with me, they shouldn't have to fight this war, we can't put them through it.

Oh merlin, mum, baby Mila is gorgeous, you would have been so proud of Alfie if you were here, she's beautiful and so is Alfie and Grace, they're a beautiful family mum, you're a grandmother, merlin you're not old enough, I know, and dad knows too.

He misses you, he dreamed about you but it wasn't exactly good, he's not over it, he never had time to grieve you, mum, and now it's finally catching up to him, h-he's so strong, he's amazing, and the best dad in the entire world, and he's coping, barely but he'll get through it, he has to, he's strong enough to.

I love you, mum, and someday I'll join you up there and at this moment, I'm not sure when I will join you, but it could be soon, and that terrifies me, but I know that I would die fighting for something so much bigger than me, but worth so much.

I'll make sure to visit as often as I can when I graduate mum, because I have so much to tell you!" Adria wiped furiously at her tears, standing suddenly, she couldn't bear to be here for another second, and Jude was getting restless to leave.

"Sirius?" Adria whispered, her hand on his shoulder, watching him turn reluctantly, rubbing his hand over hers, pressing a small kiss to her knuckle.

"You go ahead, I'll catch up in a few minutes," he whispered, pulling on her hand so that she leaned down and kissing her softly, her lips cold against his.

"Are you sure?" she asked, searching his eyes for anything, seeing them filled with pain, but love, too.

"Positive," he nodded, cupping her cheek softly, pressing his lips to her forehead, "I won't be long."

She nodded her head, taking a deep breath, she finally wrapped Jude in the coat she made sure to bring for him, pressing a kiss to the small boy's nose and holding him in her arms as they walked away, her eyes lingering on Sirius as he sat in front of the grave, his eyes trailing over the writing that stood out to him.

"Hey Judy," he mumbled softly, tearing his eyes away from the gravestone and to the grass under him, "Adria's just left, I-I think she couldn't bear the thought of being here anymore, I don't blame her, I'm going to have to leave soon too, but I need to do something, I needed to talk to you.

I wanted to thank you Judy, you're like my mum to me, you took me in, you bought me gifts for Christmas, you allowed me to stay in the same room as your daughter and trusted me enough that I was just her friend at the time, and I was, but the fact that you trusted me enough because I was Adria's friend meant more to me than everything.

In the wizarding world, my parents, who you've had the terrible displeasure of meeting are very high and powerful, proper, they don't agree with muggleborn's, they don't like them, and well, I know that a lot of people used to be wary of me because of my family, they weren't quick to trust me, but you did trust me, with no knowledge of who I was, you trusted that I was a good friend for Adria, and for that I'm more than thankful.

I miss you terribly Judy, you were a bright light, and I will never not be saddened by your passing, you where my mum, the closest to a motherly figure that I could ever possibly imagine, and merlin, I love you for that.

Speaking of being my mother, Judy, I haven't told Douglas, nor have I asked, but I thought asking you would be better first, I don't know if it's because you can't say no, but you trusted me, I don't think you would have said no, thankfully.

After Hogwarts, I wish to ask Adria to marry me, I want to have her for the rest of my life, to be with her, she is the only thing worth living for right now, as well as our friends, and our family, but without her, my life wouldn't be worth living.

We're so young, and amidst a war, but that's exactly why I wish to do it so suddenly, there is no other girl in this world, no other person that I could ever love as much as I love Adria, as much as I love your daughter, she is the light in the darkness, which is entirely ironic considering her name, but merlin, Judy I need her.

I need to know that if anything happens to me, that if I die, then I'd die the husband of Adria Hopkins, because that would be the biggest honour this world could give me, I don't know very much about signs, or paranormal, Judy, and this may sound entirely cheesy, but if there was a sign you could give me, a nod in the right direction as to your thoughts on this, I'd be forever thankful," he knew he was rambling, but he had to get it all out, this thought had been on his mind since summer.

"So, formally, Judy Felicity Hopkins, may I, Sirius Black, marry your daughter?" he knew there wasn't much point in waiting around for an answer that he knew he wouldn't get, but he wished for something, a sign, a jerk, a slight movement, he knew it was far-fetched, but he didn't care.

And then it happened, peeking through the dull clouds was a light, a single ray of sunlight that creeped over Judy's gravestone, and that was it, that was enough, his heart raced, butterflies swarmed in his stomach, that was the sign, he knew it.

"Thank you," Sirius choked out, taking a deep breath, his eyes lingering on the parting of the clouds where the ray of sunlight beamed, "thank you for letting me marry your daughter, and thank you for everything else."