Poems - 112.

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Chapter 112.

The summer for Adria was rather exciting, seeing her friends was always a happy time, and even though she was engulfed with sadness when they left, she still had a wonderful time nonetheless.

But now, on this very day as she celebrated her little brothers first birthday, a day that was supposed to be filled with happiness and bright faces, Adria couldn't help but feel so terribly sad.

One year ago, today, she had lost her mother, and it seemed all of her hard work to better herself and to forget about the pain she had been going through had all slipped away when she woke up that morning, feeling as though the happiness that clouded the air during summer had lowered.

She didn't wake up to The Beatles playing through the record player down stairs, nor did the smell of pancakes fill her nostrils even from the top floor of the house was she still usually able to smell them.

But instead, as she woke up unnaturally early did she feel as though the house was as dull as the day her mother died. Sirius' arms where around her tightly, and his warm breath fanned the exposed skin of her arm from where his head rested, but slowly, and gently did Adria push herself up from the bed, making sure not to wake Sirius and quickly pulled her slippers onto her feet to battle the cold.

She grabbed one of Sirius' t-shirts that lay on the floor, and quickly took her own off to replace it with the much more comfortable one that Sirius' had to offer.

As she descended the stairs to the second floor of her home, taking a deep breath, she pushed her way into Jude's room, her heart almost breaking at the sight of her father with Jude sleeping contently in his arms and tears streaming down his face.

"Oh, dad," Adria whispered, unable to stop herself from running over to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist as the first sob escaped her lips. as best as he could, Douglas lay Jude back in his crib, quickly wrapping his arms around Adria who couldn't help her tears when she saw the sight of her father, "I-it's been a year, dad, a full year without her, without mum!"

"I know, sweetheart," Douglas whispered, frowning as he done so, it pained him, so much to see his daughter, his pride and joy so upset, but he knew she couldn't help it, because he couldn't either.

The fact that it had been a full year without the love of his life, without his Judy, his wonderful wife, it was so violent, such a violent feeling that filled his stomach at the thought. There were times through the year that he wished to just give up, to break down and not have to worry about everything, to just scream for her to come back.

And then he realised that the gifts she had given him still needed him, still needed him to be there for him, that all of his prides and joys, his Alfie, his Benji, his Adria, his Alina, and his Jude, all of them needed him, and he could never leave them, he could never let them down even if he tried, he loved them far too much.

"She would be proud of us, dad," Adria whispered, wiping furiously at the tears that spilled in her eyes, "she would've been so proud of us, and we need to remember that, we need to remember that this day is for Jude, we need to celebrate him, the gift that she left us, the little boy with the biggest eyes was left for us from her, because she couldn't stay. If we don't make this day a regular day then we are all going to go crazy, we need to push our sadness behind us, we need to make Jude happy."

Douglas breathed a deep breath as he looked down at Adria, shaking his head as more tears fell. He couldn't believe that his daughter was so wise, so responsible, so mature, he couldn't believe that she was sixteen either, it was crazy, it was absolutely crazy to him that she was growing up.

"You're right," Douglas nodded, tightening his grip on her, "when did you become so wise, Adria," he whispered, shaking his head whilst she laughed softly.

"Sorry, dad," she forced a grin onto her lips, leaning over the crib to stroke Jude's cheek, "put him in that outfit, dad, the suit."

"Oh, god, Ads, are we really going to do that to the poor boy?" Douglas asked, wiping his tears as he laughed softly.

"Oh, he loves it," Adria smiled "I'll go start on breakfast."

"No, Ads-"

"Please dad, I need to do something," Adria stared at him with a look so heart-breaking that he couldn't help but nod, she needed to take her mind off of her mother's anniversary, and whatever she decided to do would be better than thinking of it.

Adria made her way into the cold kitchen with the vinyl clutched in her hand, placing it atop of the counter, she pulled the record player into the kitchen, setting it up in the corner before putting on the 'Abbey Road' record that she had stolen from Alfie's room on her way down to the kitchen.

She needed to block out her sadness, she needed to force herself to be strong, not for her sake but for her brothers first birthday, she needed to make it special, she needed her baby brother, her little prince to be happy for the full day, she needed him to smile for her, because the image of Jude was the only thing keeping her sane.

"Morning," grumbled Benji as he shuffled into the kitchen, his face stained with evident tears that Adria was ready to break as she pushed herself off of the counter and into his arms, tightening her grip on him as he sucked in a breath, "how are you feeling?"

"Coping," was all she could say, her lip between her teeth as she nodded at him reassuringly, taking the eggs and milk from the fridge, she turned to see Benji pouring the flower and sugar into a bowl, and quickly cracked two eggs into the mixture, pouring in the milk just after before mixing it furiously.

"Barely," Benji whispered, watching her turn to him he forced the smallest smile onto his lips, "barely coping."

"We have to," was all she could say, making sure the mixture had little to no lumps in it before sighing, "for Jude."

"I know," Benji nodded, "for Jude."

"Can you believe he is one?" asked Adria, a sigh escaping her lips as she shook her head.

"Can you believe it has been a year?"

"Don't, Benji," she mumbled, acknowledging the presence of Alfie who had walked into the kitchen, a sigh escaping his lips as he stared at his two siblings.

"Don't what?" asked Alfie, wiping at his eyes that previously spilled tears.

"Adria doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that our mo-"

"That's enough!" she snapped, gripping the bowl in her hand tightly, she took a deep breath, attempting to clear her head she turned to give him a look.

"What?" Alfie scowled, "that mums dead, is that it? is that what you can't seem to realise? Did you think that making us pancakes and putting on some music would help us forget?!" he shouted, banging his fist off the table as he laughed humourlessly.

Adria dropped the bowl to the ground in frustration, the contents of the mixture spilling onto the floor, but she couldn't bring herself to care, "you know Alfie the world doesn't revolve around you, it doesn't revolve around any of us so did you bloody stop to think that it's our brother's first birthday? and you know what?would rather not him having the worst birthday just because you can't push your feelings aside for one fucking minute to realise that she's not coming back!" she shrieked, tears streaming down her face as she pushed herself past both Benji and Alfie, stomping up the stairs she pushed her door open.

She breathed a sigh, clasping her hand over her mouth as a sob escaped her lips, her tears streaming down her face, she watched as Sirius sat up, clearly just awake and quickly hepushed himself off the bed, rushing towards her and wrapping his arms around her without a word.

"No, get off me!" she shrieked, shaking her head and ignoring the hurt look across his face, she grabbed the first pair of trousers she could see on her floor, quickly shoving them on under Sirius' t-shirt, and struggling, but finally did she manage to pull on her boots, grabbing her wand from her bedside table she pushed past him.

"Adria!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing her arm tightly and turning her around, "baby girl-"

"Sirius, please," she whispered, her voice breaking and her head shaking with a look able to break his heart at just one glance, "I just really want to be alone," the look in her eyes, filled with so much emotion pained him to the core, and reluctantly did he let her go, watching with a sigh as she rushed down the stairs of her home.

"Look, Adria!" Douglas laughed softly at the sight of Jude in the small suit he and Adria had picked out for him but she merely rushed past him, down the stairs to their home and out of the door after she grabbed her bag that sat at the entrance.

She didn't care that she looked terrible, that her hair was messy and that she hadn't even washed herself for the day, she didn't care that her outfit for the day looked as though she had just rolled out of bed.

All she felt was weak.

She tried her best to be strong, for her dad, for Jude, for her family, but she couldn't even do that.

-

"She's not back yet," Sirius spoke for about the eighth time, pacing the living room before throwing another glare in the direction of Benji and Alfie, "all she wanted was to make this day special for Jude, that's all she wanted and look what happened!"

"Sirius," Alfie sighed, "we said sorr-"

"Well has that brought her back?!" Sirius snapped, running a hand through his hair he shook his head, his hands curling to fists as he looked outside. It was dark outside, and Adria had been gone since early this morning, and still, she wasn't back.

"Sirius," Alina whispered, taking a step forward before patting his shoulder gently, "she just needed some time, she tried her best to be strong but even Adria needs to show weaknes-"

"I know, Allie, but what if something happened to her, she's out there, in London, herself, it's dark!" he exclaimed, a tear of frustration escaping his lips.

He shook his head, looking around at the tear stained faces of the Hopkins family, aswell as Lia who was just as sad, and just as concerned. They couldn't help but spend the day mourning over Judy, she had too much of an impact on all of them not to, but Sirius was spending his day worrying about Adria.

He knew she needed space, but it was getting far too late, he really couldn't help himself for being worried, "that's it," he announced, shaking his head, with a frown taking over his feature. He took off towards the door, grabbing his leather jacket in the process whilst mumbling a few words not to be repeated under his breath.

"Let me come with you," Benji offered, standing from the edge of the couch to join him but Sirius shook his head.

"I think you've done enough," he spat coldly, roughly opening the door before slamming it shut.

He had an inkling of where Adria could be, but he was terrified that she may not be, that he'd have to look everywhere he could think of in order to find her, but instead of worrying about that, he set off as quickly as he could, taking long, fast strides in the direction of the city.

The lights of the city made it much easier for him to see, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he manoeuvred his way around people on his way to the park, a sigh escaping his lips as he crossed the street, and soon did he push open the gate into to area.

He looked everywhere he could think of, a frustrated sight as he took off again, going around the park once more in the darkness, the dull lights managed to give him some light, but even the city lights around him didn't make the park any brighter.

"You've passed me three times," a voice piped up, the familiar voice, although cold and lacking emotion, was the voice of Adria Hopkins, sitting on a bench, and if it weren't for her acknologing him, then he was sure he wouldn't have even noticed her there.

"Oh, Ads," he rushed towards her, able to see her better as he grew closer to her, seeing her shivering slightly in the night air and quickly took off the leather jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders, making sure she was as warm as he could make her.

He sat beside her on the bench, pulling her onto his lap in hopes that his body heat would be able to warm her, "I know you think you're weak for leaving Adria, but you aren't, you tried your best to be strong, and you where, and you would've coped, but your idiot brothers thought it wise to be complete twats."

"If I'm so strong, how did you know I would think I was weak?" asked Adria, frowning as she done so.

"Because I know you," Sirius smiled softly, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "I've been so worried about you, baby, so worried," he mumbled into her skin, tightening his grip around her.

"I'm pathetic, I ran away instead of facing my problems," she frowned, lifting his head to kiss him, something she needed to make herself feel at least a little better, "I wanted to be happy for Jude, and for mum, because she wouldn't want us to be sad, but I-I just couldn't help it, I had to get out of there!"

"I know," he sighed, trying his best to heat her up in the cold air, "but that doesn't make you pathetic, Adria," Sirius whispered.

"Then what does it make me?"

"Human."

[A/N pretty sad chapter I suppose lmao

I think I was nearly killed because of the lack of iconic art in the last chapter so here is one of

*drumroll lmao*

JILY (Ft. me agreeing with their thoughts)

Okay lmao that is all

Almost forgot, I have published the first chapter to battle Scars which is a Remus fic, but nothing to do with or has any relation to poems but yeah I posted the prologue a while ago and I'm kinda liking it lmao

Okay that's really all]

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