Peace

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I don't know if it's as simple as knowing

Because I felt it -

That 5AM adventure to the living room,

the cold morning air,

the sky not touched by sun just yet

leaving a dazzling purple trace,

the same one that surrounds every conversation

the world moving at our pace,

slowly, ever slowly


I don't know if it's as simple as going

Because I went -

That 5AM walk on the athlete's ground,

the cold December air,

the sun parked right at the horizon,

enough darkness to let the stars shine

We moved like figurines inside a music box

With gentle ease and grace

And our conversation made time flow like honey

Hold this moment

Then hold me


I don't know if it's as simple as throwing

Because I threw it all -

That 5AM escape to the hotel lobby,

yellow lights surrounding me and you,

the glimmer of the moonlit pool,

and our bodies on the gravel road beside it

We spoke in native tongues in a room full of moving mouths

Glassy eyes and tin can telephone heart

I've never felt more close to you than at that moment

In the morning before you went away


I don't know if it's as simple as bestowing

Because I gave it a shot -

That 5AM conversation laying on your bedroom floor,

Writing our names in imaginary pen on your roof

Curtained sunrise, eyelids fluttering in sleep

We speak without the speaking

Meeting in long conversations in our dreams



I don't know if it's as simple as knowing

Because I knew it all -

Every 5AM rendezvous you probably forgot

I counted every second,

Hoping they will reach infinity

And beyond.

And sometimes, I understand, I can get every sign so wrong and every mistake is my fault and my jokes aren't that funny and my worries are not easy to understand

My ghosts will always haunt me

My sentiments will never be enough

Neither will I

I understand that I can be a bit too much for you sometimes

But, even when I bring the rained parade,

can you promise me you'll stay

For every 5AM that comes my way?

Those I'll remember and those I won't

Even when I bring an endless night,

Will you promise you'll stay

To watch the sunrise?

Because it'll be worth it.


I don't know if it's as simple as just knowing

But I know it'll be worth it -

Having you by my side

In every single sunrise,

I know I'll be at ease.


Because you give me peace.

You give me peace.

You always give me

peace.


Read more poems like this in my poetry collection "If I Can See You When I Pass Away." You can order it via https://aidanbernales.carrd.co or through my social media accounts: aidanreuel on IG and Facebook.


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