f o r t y - o n e

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My car pulled up to the hotel, my eyes admiring the intimidating exterior. I threw a small thank you and a smile over my shoulder as I exited the vehicle. I took a deep, steeling breath before I placed one wobbly foot in front of the other as the drinks I had caught up with my body. I maneuvered throughout the bodies lingering in the lobby and made my way to the front desk, the man working there directing me towards the restaurant. I was in the elevator what felt like seconds later, a shaky breath shuddering through me as my teeth gnawed at my bottom lip.

As the elevator ascended, all I could imagine was Jeremiah's reaction. He no longer had the benefit of my cluelessness on his side, so he wouldn't be able to explain this away like he normally would. His other defense of deflecting wouldn't work either, because I wouldn't let him. He'd try and table the conversation, but I wouldn't let him do that, either. Our promise of the end of the week shattered the moment my eyes read the article headline Cameron sent to me.

The door dinged open and I took a tentative step forward. I paused just next to the elevator as I allowed myself one more moment to collect my thoughts. The host addressed me as I entered the restaurant and I quickly explained I was here to meet someone with a polite smile.

My eyes scanned the rooftop, a chill settling over my body. I wrapped my sister's coat tighter around me as I continued to move forwards, deep voices pulling my attention in all different directions. I made it halfway across the floor before I stopped in my tracks and shook my head at myself. What was I even going to say to him? Was I really going to interrupt his business dinner with our relationship drama? Pissed as I may be that he's been lying to me, would I really let that get in the way of my professionalism? My parents raised me to know better than to disrupt a business negotiation.

A laugh interrupted my thoughts. Parting pleasantries met my ears before my focus pulled to my left, where, sure enough, Jeremiah was shaking the hand of a gentleman a little way ahead.

Well, I didn't have to worry about interrupting his meeting anymore, I guess.

The stranger took his leave as Jeremiah sat down, his back to me. I took a few steps forward at my opening, but halted once a server arrived to take care of the bill. They exchanged words before Jeremiah stood up, smoothed out his suit jacket, and turned around.

The uncertainty I felt turned into resolve of some sort. Jeremiah was going to see me standing in front of him and he was probably going to crack some kind of joke, thinking that nothing was wrong. And the probability of that itself angered me. It angered me because I knew he'd be confident enough to think I'd be clueless to his interview, and I gave him no reason to believe otherwise.

The moment Jeremiah saw me, his lips parted in surprise. He looked around before he slowly approached me, a confused smile tugging his lips.

"Ki? Baby, what are you doing here?" Jeremiah asked. "I thought I was gonna see you at the end of the week."

"Yeah, I thought so, too," I said in a flat tone.

His eyes searched my face as he asked, "What's wrong?"

I pulled my phone from my bag with a humorless chuckle. Jeremiah's eyes fell on my phone before darting back to my face, his eyebrows furrowing as his lips pulled into a frown.

"Jeremiah Diamond, CEO of Diamond Jewelers, details secrets to bring your business back from the brink of bankruptcy," I recited.

I looked straight at Jeremiah's face, his expression slowly changing to something like dread mixed with guilt.

"Maybe you should tell your friends not to send me shit like this when you're lying to me about, well, your entire career."

I stared at him as he just looked at me. This was the first time since I've known him he's been utterly speechless. No quick response, no calm explanation, not even a bit of deflection. Just shock.

"Kiara—"

"I'd say I was proud of you if I wasn't pissed the fuck off right now," I said as I cut him off. "Why are you just standing there? Don't have an explanation that makes just enough sense for me not to question you this time?"

"Ki—"

"Are you fixing your lips to tell me a lie or to tell me we're not doing this tonight? Apparently, the only people you tell the truth are the people that are writing rave reviews about you, so—"

Jeremiah scooped my hands in his as he pressed, "Kiara—"

"Nah, don't touch me," I said as I ripped his hands from mine.

A few heads turned in our direction as I raised my voice at him and jerked away. I could feel eyes on us as voices murmured at the tables closest to us.

"You weren't 'bout to listen to me if I used just my words," he said as his voice remained level.

"Every time you use your words with me, you lie."

I swear I could hear a hint of pleading in his tone as he asked, "Kiara, can we do this in my room?"

"Yeah. I got some words for you."

The walk to Jeremiah's room carried a tense silence. I was staring ahead, my attention focused on everything but Jeremiah as I ground my teeth together. Jeremiah, on the other hand, was looking at me and only me. I could all but feel his nerves radiating off him in waves, unsure about what was going to happen next.

His uncertainty was justified because I didn't even know what was going to happen next. Jeremiah has been lying to me since the day he met me, and I didn't know what to do with that.

The moment we stepped through the door, I threw off my jacket and undid my shoes. I tried to unzip the back of my dress and grunted in frustration as I grasped for the zipper.

"Kiara, let me help you," Jeremiah said as he stepped towards me.

"The only thing I need from you is the truth," I shot back as I made my way to a mirror. It was my vain attempt to keep him away from me, even though I knew this was helpless without a second set of hands.

"You're only gonna be angrier if you try and argue with me in a dress that you feel like is suffocating you."

My eyes found Jeremiah behind me in the mirror. I took a deep breath and dropped my hands to the side, an invitation for him to step in. He took his time as he tugged the zipper down the length of my spine, a familiar warmth on my shoulder as he held the fabric in place.

Jeremiah provided me with a t-shirt and some sweats before removing his suit jacket and tie.

"You have been lying to me since the day you met me," I stated once we were comfortable. "You transitioned to CEO the January before you met me, and have been acting CEO ever since! Explain—quickly."

"Explain what? That my dad gave me a business six months away from bankruptcy and it was my job to turn that around in a year? Because if that's what you were looking for—" He cut off, his hands dropping into his lap.

"You aren't stupid, Jeremiah. You know what I'm talking about."

"Kiara, the first thing I realized about you was that you wouldn't look my way if I'd told you I was the CEO of something. I was not about to fumble my bag over a company that I didn't think I'd have in two weeks."

I scoffed. "You lied because what? Little 'ol me wouldn't go on a second date with you?"

Jeremiah rubbed his head before his hands slapped to his knees. "Nah, it's because I figured I was about to be unemployed anyway and it wouldn't have been a lie in the next month."

"And what's your reasoning for lying after you realized you were good?" I asked, an angry edge to my tone. "And don't try and say it's because you didn't wanna lose me, cause I already loved you at that point."

"It wasn't about that," he said.

"Then what?" I said after he failed to elaborate. "I told you I had you! When you lied to me about being in Baltimore the first time, I let you know I had you. I told you I didn't care that you were a businessman." I shook my head with a scoff.

Jeremiah threw his hands up, his voice exasperated. "It wasn't about if you would care or not! Did you only start listening to me yesterday or something?"

My eyebrows scrunched together as I looked at him with questioning. "What are you talking about?"

I know I'm still working on really listening to understand instead of listening to respond, but I know I wouldn't have missed the whole reason he told me why he's lying in the first place... Would I?

"At first it was about hiding what I did because I meant what I said—I didn't want to fumble the bag. But after Baltimore, I realized that wasn't something I had to worry about anymore."

"Yeah, we established that," I said as I rolled my eyes. "But honestly, you told me that was the first and last time you lied to me, yet here we are. Should've known that MBA would do you too well."

"And there it is," he said as he gestured lamely. Jeremiah shook his head, a humorless laugh shaking his shoulders.

"There what is?" I asked as I went back to being confused.

"Deep down beneath it all, I am still the one thing you can't stand, whether or not you realize it."

"Is this about you being a business executive? Or, a CEO, I guess." I licked my lips before I said, "Jeremiah, how many times are we going to have this conversation? I don't care!"

"Kiara—"

I listed off examples on my fingers. "Our first date: you told me you had an MBA. Second date: business event and I was there. You lied to me: I told you explicitly that I made my peace. You got a new job: I was excited for you!"

Jeremiah could cry that I care about his profession all he wanted, but I had shown time and time again that it was a non-issue. I defended him to my mom—which was pointless apparently—and tried my best to mold seamlessly to what he needed, up to tolerating his parents.

"Our first date: you went on a rant about how every business person was a snake. Our second date: you told me exactly why you hate the business world and everyone in it. I lied to you: You told me you made your peace after you let me know you were worried my MBA made me a liar."

I chewed my lip as I looked up at him. "I didn't realize it came off that way."

"Yeah Ki, it came off that way."

Our eyes locked, and we realized both our defenses were down. Jeremiah sat at the head of the bed, opposite of me sitting at the foot. I looked down at my hands as his gaze burned a hole through my cheek.

I thought it didn't matter that Jeremiah was a businessman. Regardless of the notions I had about them, I thought that he'd be the exception. He'd be the perfect boyfriend, one who promised he'd never lie to me and stick to his word, despite where he came from.

"I still don't understand, though," I said after a few minutes of silence. "I'd accepted on some level that this is what you do, and you said you knew you didn't have to worry."

"I didn't have to worry about losing you because of what I do," Jeremiah began, a softness to his voice. "It was more about why you hate what I do."

I found Jeremiah's eyes at the end of the bed and I found a new sense of clarity. The counter-reasons Jeremiah listed? They all followed the same idea—that everyone in the business world was a liar for their own gain, and anyone like that was a snake.

And here was Jeremiah, telling me he's been lying the entire time we've known each other not because he was a business person, but because of how I would see him once he proved me right.

"You knew if you told me, my entire perspective of you would change because all this lying proved me right," I said with a scoff of realization.

Jeremiah nodded in silent confirmation.

"And you know what? You were right."

Jeremiah plainly said, "I told you I would be."

"You were selfish with me, Jeremiah," I said, anger seeping behind my words. "I told you I couldn't stand people who acted in their own self-interest, and here you are, doing exactly that. You told me yourself that you lied initially to not fumble your bag with me!"

"Kiara—"

There was a coldness in my tone. "I'm not done."

I blinked, taken aback by just how icy my disposition was towards him. And Jeremiah had the same reaction, his eyes widening as he looked at me wordlessly. I thought hearing his explanation would bring me some understanding with a calmness to it, but it brought the opposite.

"You knew that continuing with this lie for as long as you did was gonna hurt me in the long run; that's why you hid it as long as you did! That's why you waited until I backed you into a corner to even consider telling me the truth! Because you really are the one thing that I can't stand the most—a snake of a CEO who doesn't care about anybody but themself."

I sneered at him, my eyes rolling over him with a new sense of disdain. From literally day one, he knew he could get by with being anything but the one thing that he actually was. So, in true fashion, he slithered his way around the truth to keep me.

"C'mon Kiara, you know me!" Jeremiah said, slight desperation shaking his normally collected demeanor. "You know I'm not just some snake. I'm the one who whispers in your ear when I see something's off with you. I sing to you when I get a little too drunk. I go places I would never go just to see you happy, and I'm your biggest supporter whenever you make moves."

"You're not just some snake," I said with a nod of admittance. "You made me fall in love with you before you betrayed my trust."

"Wait, what?"

"No amount of Ariana Grande concerts and hot yoga classes that you hate are gonna change the fact that you are a liar who got in a relationship with me because you couldn't stand not having me. That was for your own selfish gain, not for me."

Jeremiah moved and stood in front of me. He tilted my chin up, but I ripped away from him. "Kiara, it wasn't like that..."

"It doesn't matter what it was like," I spat. "All that matters is that I'm hurt. You hurt me because you did the one thing I asked you time and time again not to do, and for the one reason I was dreading you would do it for."

"You're right, it doesn't matter," he agreed. "I know a conversation can't fix this like everything else, just let me know what can." Jeremiah attempted to hold my hands. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I did it for selfish reasons and I can't change that, but I love you and I—"

I cut him off with a sigh. He could apologize a million times, but that wouldn't change the fact that he's a liar. That he's been lying since I've known him and that he continued to lie after I asked for the truth from him more than once. He lied, knowing that he would hurt me. The only difference between him and the others is that he knew he'd end up burned, too, and that he wouldn't come out victorious in the end.

Jeremiah's eyes searched my face. He tried to get me to look at him, but I kept my attention on the door behind him. His hands hovered over mine in fists as he tried his hardest not to touch me. "Tell me what to do, Kiara."

"I don't know what to tell you."

"I fucked up, I get that. I should've been truthful from jump and let you decide for yourself, but—"

I placed a hand on his chest and met his eyes. "Stop."

"Ki, just hear me out—"

"I told you from day one what my beef was with what you did, and you acted like the one man I can't stand. I confided in you about my mom's concerns and you smiled in my face and lied through your teeth. You told me there was nothing to worry about and that my mom was just being herself."

I shook my head as my hand slid off Jeremiah's chest. He could try to explain his side all he wanted and say all the right things so I would forgive him, but this goes far beyond just one lie.

I sighed before I said, "You may think you lied once, but you had to spin more lies to cover up your first one. This wasn't a one and done type deal. You had to work to keep your secret. And that's my issue."

Jeremiah let my words settle before he nodded with a defeated sigh. He backed away from me and paced in a circle, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. I watched as he walked around, the most worried I've seen him.

Jeremiah asked, "So what does that mean?" His pacing had stopped, his eyes on me as he stood with his arms crossed, his fingers rubbing across his beard.

I took a deep breath as I shook my head and smacked my lips together. I looked at him, my lips parting wordlessly. What does that mean? The anger I felt came in waves, and almost every time I looked at him it came back, adding more emotion to my decision than I wanted.

"I can't just let you off the hook, no matter how sorry you are," I said as my teeth chewed on my bottom lip. "You showed me that you're a snake."

"I'm more than that, and you know it," Jeremiah said as he ignored the anger in my words.

I glared at him to mask the crack in my facade. Of course, he was more than that, but that didn't change who he showed me he really was. It couldn't.

I ignored him as I stood from the bed and gathered up my things. I couldn't stand to be in this room with him, and Sienna let me know that King's place was open to me if I needed it. And I'd say I needed it. I mean, Jeremiah and I are...

Well, I guess that's up to me.

"Ki, where are you going? It's late and you don't need to be out on these streets at night," Jeremiah said as I pulled my heels on by the door.

"You don't need to worry about that," I said, that angry edge back in my tone.

"Of course I need to worry about that," he said with an eye roll. "You think I'm gonna stop worrying about you just 'cause you're breaking up with me?"

"I'm not—"

My breath hitched, my almost declaration slipping out before I could stop it. I didn't stop myself fast enough, though, because Jeremiah caught that. I could tell by the way his eyebrows raised and his ear tilted in my direction.

"Jeremiah, I love you. But right now? I'm done with you."

I slipped out the door immediately after I said that. I figured it'd be better for me to wait for my car in the lobby.

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