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Chapter 101: Stoke the fire

"We're suspended. That's a week of no school, staying at home with parents who hate each other and a drama that's consumed us," Luke said, as if I needed a refresher on my life situation.

We were sitting in his car with heavy rain pounding on the roof and windows. Two minutes ago, I thought he was breaking up with me. Now, I realized he wanted to elope.

Just kidding

"I think we need a break," Luke said and, when he saw my eyes widen at his last sentence, he quickly added, "Together. We need a break, together."

"Where would we even go?" I asked, hearing his optimism but living in reality, "When I said I don't have any money, I mean it. I have no money."

"You won't need it," he replied. "We can go to the lake house."

That sounded tempting; to escape into the wilderness, just the two of us.

But I had a nagging feeling that we were running away from our problems. I also know that we do need money and I really didn't have any. Nothing for gas, for food, for emergencies. It's a different mindset when there's no safety net and just a feeling of dependency. Spontaneity is expensive.

My original game plan was to ride out my suspension at home until my first tutoring gig with Lara. My mom was back so we at least had food in the house. And the moment I get paid for my first lesson, I'm going to splurge. That means three dozen coffees from the Bean.

I'm having withdrawal symptoms here

"I know it's not responsible," Luke said, watching my reaction. He knew I was talking myself out of coming with him, "Let me take the blame for it."

"It's not that," I said, not caring about who took the blame.

Luke wasn't joking. He's thought this through, and he wants us to leave. Did we really need a 'break together' or was there another reason he wanted us to get out of town?

"What about your parents?" I asked, knowing they wouldn't allow this.

"I'll ask for forgiveness, not permission."

I looked back at the gym bag with some of my clothes already packed. Were we really just going to run away?

So, I made my decision.

I said, "I won't go with you unless you do one thing."

He seemed surprised by that response. He glanced at me, "What is it?"

"Apologize to Kaden."

There was a long silence in the car.

"Are you serious?" he asked, almost sounding annoyed.

"Totally serious. You bullied another human being who, it turns out, was innocent. It will continue to affect us until you apologize," I insisted.

"I have apologized, Millie."

"You need to apologize to him," I said, "I'm sorry for asking this of you. I've tried to forget about it and see it from your perspective, but I can't just forgive it. You bullied him, you publicly humiliated him, and I know he sucks as a person, but he doesn't deserve to be treated like that," I paused as I reflected on my words, "You had good intentions but that doesn't excuse the actions."

I can't be with a bully. I just can't.

I know I sounded like a broken record, bringing the same subject up all the time, but I couldn't let it go. I thought I could. I tried to. But he doesn't get to walk away with this, just because of a few charming words and a sweet smile.

I explained, "You did what you did to him because of me and I... I can't live with that."

The silence between us got heavier. I wished I could see what he was thinking. I didn't want us to break up but, at the same time, I couldn't move forward like this. It's hypocritical of me, when I've been no saint either, but it is what it is. I love the boy too much to just turn away. So, all I can do is ask him. And either we move on together or we get stuck. I don't know what else to do.

I don't see a right way... at least, I don't see a right way that I want to take.

Luke stared straight ahead, tapping his left hand against the top of the steering wheel. He looked annoyed, very annoyed. But he knew I was not joking around.

9 times out of 10, I behave like a clown. But this is that 1 time.

He exhaled, "Fine."

I didn't realize my hands were shaking until I opened my phone to pull up Kaden's number. I'm not used to serving ultimatums, especially to Luke who hates being told what to do. I don't know what would've happened if he said no. I don't even want to think about it.

I handed him my phone.

**

Time can really slow down at the worst possible times. It speeds by in the best moments but now... this felt agonizingly slow. I hated the situation. The fact that I was making my boyfriend apologize to my twisted, terrible ex-boyfriend gave me chills. Luke has only cared for me, where Kaden has not... but I guess this isn't about me. Or us. It's about principle.

I think.

I don't even know what I stand for right now, but I think I'm standing for something. Maybe I'm stupid for doing all of this, for putting Luke through this, but my conscience is at ease. At least that part of me can sleep easy tonight. And hopefully that part of him, too.

"Millie," Kaden's voice on loudspeaker filled up the car, "I can't say I expected to receive a call from you. Especially since you've gotten your hotshot boyfriend to do everything for you these days."

The sound of Kaden's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I cringed.

Luke closed his eyes, forcing himself to stay calm. I'm sure his instinct was to strangle the guy.

"Listen nerd," Luke interrupted, "You're a piece of sh*t and you know it. Morally weak too."

What kind of apology is this?

I stared at Luke like he was jumping off a cliff. He gave me a look back - and I had no idea what to make of it.

"But here's an apology for getting your ass whooped," Luke said and stared me directly in the eyes, forcing me to hear the painful words, "I'm sorry for making you cry."

Remind me to never ask Luke to apologize again. The guy is not subtle at all. For making you cry? There was a sharp inhale of breath on the other end of the line.

"Can you say it again in a way that doesn't embarrass me?" Kaden asked.

"You want to record it? It's embarrassing for you no matter how I say it," Luke replied, knowing that Kaden would jump on the opportunity to turn this around and humiliate Luke. I hadn't really thought about that before.

"You're calling me from Millie's phone, so I know what's happening here," Kaden chatted freely, "She can't live with this on her conscience so you're trying to win her back. I won't accept the apology unless I win a little something too."

And there's the Kaden I know and despise. Always looking out for himself.

Luke pressed mute, "Can I hang up on him now?"

I shook my head, "You effed up by effing him up, so now you face the consequences."

Luke gritted his teeth. "Swear, Millie. Just say f*ck."

I unpressed the mute button. Luke rolled his eyes, looking extremely uncomfortable by the situation.

I didn't care about being humiliated right now. I've been embarrassed so many times I can't even count. I just want to know, when I'm as old as Winnifred's old lady, that I didn't dish out what I'd been served.

"How about I hang out with you and your friends in public?" Kaden offered, "Maybe take a couple pictures-"

"No."

"Fine. One picture in private?" Kaden bargained, trying to get some clout.

"No."

"Then I don't know what to say to you, Luke. You assaulted me and I have every right to press charges. The school suspended all of us after you made the entire basketball team lie for you. How does that-"

"Here's some advice, Kaden. Your problem is your big mouth. That, along with your greed and lack of friends, is going to keep getting you in trouble. I'm being forced to apologize, but you better change behavior. Even though I won't come for you again, there are others who will."

"Are you threatening me?" Kaden retaliated.

"I'm warning you. It's called advice."

There was a shuffling on the other end of the line and when Kaden spoke, he sounded closer to the phone, like he'd gone somewhere super private to speak, "I know I messed up."

Wow.

I didn't know I would feel something, but I did. It was the first time Kaden has ever recognized what he's done. It's the first time he's ever shown some kind of remorse. And I hated that he was doing it because of Luke. Why couldn't he say that to me or Kelly or any of the girls he's cheated on?

It's bullsh*t.

Kaden doesn't respect women, and this was the bitter realization. He'll own up to a guy but not apologize to a girl? I really hope he'll grow up.

Trust Luke to call someone up to apologize and then get an apology back.

I didn't even hear what Luke said but they hung up a few seconds later. Luke had done what I asked him to do, and I really appreciated that. It hadn't gone as smoothly as I expected, but it's not like you can force a happy ending.

This had taken a lot for Luke to own up to, especially since he's a proud guy. And it left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I wasn't sure I had been right to demand this of him. But it made me comfortable knowing that my boyfriend showed remorse for his violence.

I leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"All that for a peck," Luke mumbled.

"After what you did? Be happy you get a peck," I replied, keeping my tone light even though my head was turning.

Luke raised an eyebrow, "I held up my end of the bargain..."

"And I'm coming with you!" I exclaimed, "Just give me ten minutes to pack a proper bag."

I opened the car door and felt a whoosh of rain on my extended arm. "There better be no bears in that forest."

He smiled, remembering our camping trip last summer. "Why not? We can say hi to an old friend."

My smile matched his and I slammed the car door shut. I ran home in the rain and packed a light bag for our trip to the jake house.

I mean lake house. Drat.

**

~Three hours later~

It was pitch dark and the trees blocked most of the sunlight. The taillights on Luke's jeep wrangler shed light on the rural road ahead. According to the GPS, we were close by.

"I can't believe we're coming here," I said, feeling a world away from all the chaos we left behind.

We hadn't seen another car in twenty minutes. It felt like total isolation.

"I needed fresh air," Luke said, one hand on the steering heel and the other resting against the window, "And I don't trust our friends right now."

He'd been driving for three hours straight at this point. I was exhausted. I'd taken a nap when we were on the highway.

"Is that why you hung up on Chad?" I asked.

He nodded and turned the wheel left as we rolled out of the forest and into the clearing that was close to his house. The lake was in sight.

My excitement took over and I changed subject, keeping the mood upbeat, "I wonder what you packed for me."

"You left so much sh*t in my room, Minnie," he reminded me, "I packed it since I thought you were still at the bar. I wanted to pick you up and drive straight to the lake house before it got too late. I don't like coming here in the middle of the night."

"Yeah," I said, staring out at the night sky.

Hearing Luke talk about packing for me made me grateful that I went back to pack my own bag, including toiletries. If Luke thinks all I need are clothes for a weeklong trip, he still has a lot to learn.

He slowed the car down and asked, "By the way, are we going to talk about why you were in a tree outside my house, or do we let that one slide?"

"I say we let that one slide."

"Ok." Luke looked over at me and smiled.

I guess some things never change.

**

The cabin was a beautiful wooden building with a sloped, dark blue roof. It was surrounded by a forest. The last time I came here was in fall, when the leaves were turning a golden brown. Now the branches were bare and there was a thin white layer of snow.

"I'll get the bags," Luke told me, not wanting me to be out in the cold rain.

It was like the bad weather had followed us. At least, it was a lighter rain than when it first started pouring on Dupont Avenue.

"Be careful," Luke said, keys in one hand as he pushed the door open with his other, "Try not to slip."

Should I be offended or touched that he knows me so well?

The ground was a bit slippery from the mud that the rain had created. I hurried towards the empty house and waited under the shade for Luke to come with the house keys and open the door.

He walked towards me from the car, with the flashlights blinking behind him as he locked it remotely. His gym bag was slung over one shoulder and my backpack was on his other.

The rain made his hair glisten as he swept it out of his eyes. I tried not to romanticize the moment.

It's difficult. He's cute.

I followed Luke quietly into the house. I was a bit nervous about the two of us spending a week hiding away in his lake house. We hadn't spent much time alone together lately and it made me more shy than usual.

The house was cold, dark and empty as we walked in. Luke switched on the lights, and I saw clearer: the wooden dining table next to the windows and the cozy fireplace with blankets on the beige sofa. It reminded me of the last time we were here, when Jake played Aerosmith on his guitar, and Annika, Luke and I sang along until the early hours of the morning.

"Make yourself at home," Luke said, opening the kitchen's cabinets to see what was inside.

I stared at him now, feeling worlds away from the last time we came here. Last time, the house had been full of people. Luke and I had just begun dating and I was getting to know his parents for the first time.

Now, we had escaped here without anyone knowing. I felt like a bandit. And it didn't seem like anyone had come to the jake house in a few months. It was ours to ruin.

Did I really just think that?

I walked over to the curtains behind the dining table. They hung from the ceiling all the way to the floor, and I yanked them open as the view hit me: a breathtaking landscape of the lake lit by moonlight.

"Wow," I muttered, stepping back to admire it until I walked into a chair.

I turned around and saw the wooden dining table with empty vases where flowers used to be. There were some large candles on the table and a candle lighter at the end. I decided to light them. We might as well make the house warmer.

"What's on your mind tonight, Minnie?!" Luke smirked suggestively, watching me light candles as he walked over with a bag of chips in his hand.

"I'm setting the mood," I replied, walking towards the living room where I started to light the candles above the fireplace, "And it's freezing."

"I'll get the fire going," he said.

Luke put his jacket on and went back out in the rain to get more firewood from the shed. While he tended to the fire, I rummaged in his bag and pulled out a hoodie. It was really cold in here.

The time was almost 1AM and tiredness was starting to catch up with me. But I really enjoyed this time with Luke, especially now that the living room was warm, with candles flickering and the crackling sound of the fireplace. Luke grabbed some drinks from the cupboard and an ice bucket.

"I turned the heating on, but it'll take a while to warm the house," he said, "Let's go by the fireplace until it gets warm upstairs."

I followed him. He set the small ice bucket onto the coffee table and cracked open two diet cokes. They'd been sitting in the cupboard all winter, so the ice got the drinks to a cooler, fresh temperature.

I settled down beside him and crossed my legs on the fuzzy carpet with my back leaning against the couch. He handed me a glass.

"This is actually really nice," I said, feeling relaxed just being here, "What do you want to do tonight?"

He walked to the dry firewood and chucked a few more logs onto the fire. We watched the flames lick the wood and soar.

"We could have s*x," Luke replied, his back towards me as he stoked the fire.

I gulped, almost choking on my diet coke.

Luke turned around, "Don't look so shocked. Do you want me to give you a preview?"

"A w- what?" I asked, feeling so nervous that my hand started to shake, and the ice clinked against the glass in my hand – betraying me entirely.

"Do you want," Luke repeated, taking his time with each word, "a preview?"

I set the glass on the table. And I stared at him, with his back to the fire and fire poker in his hand. A reincarnation of what the Greek gods must've looked like. I didn't care how ridiculous that sounded. It's how I felt.

I nodded, "Yes."

He put the fire poker down.  

A/N: I know how much you hate cliffhangers... so this one is just a tease. Next chapter will be out in 1 HOUR :)  Want to thank me?  Vote on the chapter!

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One hour...