Ryan Adams

When I was little and different from other kids, I always thought something was wrong with me. It had been difficult for me to interact with kids my age as I was nervous around them, whereas they got along with each other perfectly. Nobody had ever walked up to me and asked to be my friend.

Well, maybe some did, but immediately my stutter started, they would give me weird looks and flee. My short height was also a reason for them to start bullying me.

Samantha Kendall was the first person to had actually found my stuttering cute. She didn’t know this, but the first day I had seen her wasn’t when our families had dinner together, but the afternoon before that.

She had been sitting on the steps of her porch playing with her dolls. I had come out to escape the noise of Kira’s wails as I had sensitive ears. But then I saw this pretty girl sitting on the porch of the house beside ours, her hair tied in two piggy tails, her blue eyes big and bright, the sound of her giggle was the sweetest melody I had heard.

Her cheeks were chubby but added to her cuteness, her lips curved into a smile that made me hold my breath in wonder. How could anyone be that beautiful; that was my thought as I continued to gawk at her amazed.

I thought about walking up to her to see her clearly and possibly talk to her. But I didn’t want to scare her away with my stuttering or make her hate me. So I walked back inside but not without taking a backward glance at her one last time.

When my parents had invited her’s for dinner, I had been excited to see her again. But throughout, I kept my head down to hide my red cheeks as I remembered how I had gawked and drooled over her earlier. I had to come up with an excuse to leave the dining table early so I could hide my stutter before it started.

But then minutes later, I found her in front of my door, knocking and saying she wanted to see me. I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me since I had a crush on her. But I was proven wrong when she started to chat with me and even touched me! She never minded my stutter and wanted to be my friend.

And when we both laid on my bed that night, I realized I never wanted her to go. I wanted her all to myself and would do anything to keep her.

Whenever I talked with her, my palms weren’t sweaty, I wasn’t nervous, and my stutter never made an appearance, unless I was lying to her, though. I made sure we hardly fought and always took the blame, I did everything to please her so she would like me, no matter what. I never needed anyone else as long as she was with me.

She knew everything about me, including my addiction to chocolate. She was my chocolate, my addiction, and I couldn’t get enough of her. So maybe that was why I made her promise me, in the form of a pinky swear, to never leave me.

But my heart was shattered into a million pieces the day she came and told me she was leaving for her grandma’s. I couldn’t believe my world was turning upside down just by the mere mention that she was going away from me. I begged and pleaded with her not to, even guilt-tripped her by ignoring her, but she never changed her mind.

I thought then that maybe she never really cared about me and that I had been over my head by thinking someone as great as she ever wanted anything to do with me. And here I had been planning our future, where we would get married and have three kids in a quiet and peaceful part of town. Gosh, I had been so stupid.

After she left, I hadn’t even realized I had entered into a state of depression. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or even study properly without ending up in tears while thinking of her. But she was somewhere else, happily living without me while I moped around like a fool. My parents noticed how depressed I was and tried to help, but they couldn’t do much.

I resolved then to forget all about Samantha Kendall, the girl who had stolen a piece of my heart and broken it. I promised myself I would do better, make her see I could survive without her. I ignored her when she tried calling even though it hurt badly, but I had to keep my stand.

I tried making new friends and not stutter or act nervous around them, and it wasn’t easy, but it worked out after a while. Soon enough, my looks started to change, and my height increased overtime. People began to stare and treat me differently. Girls were giving me flirtatious looks, and boys in the football team were advising me to try out for the team! I had never felt any better before...well, except for the time Samantha had pecked me on my cheek, but this wasn’t about her.

I was finally doing better without her.

Then Jenny came. We started high school together, and she was among the few who usually sent smiles my way when no one else cared then.

I used to think I was hallucinating it all. I mean, she was one of the hottest girls at school, and guys were always vying for her attention. So why would she give me any thought? But she always said ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ whenever she passed by me, and she would wiggle her hands in this sexy gesture that made my blush then. Soon enough, when my popularity skyrocketed, she asked me out. I couldn’t refuse as she was different from other girls. She never looked down at me when everyone else did, and she was hot! No guy my age could resist that.

I thought everything was coming together. I had friends for the first time, a hot girlfriend, and was also on the football team. Before the last year of high school, I was appointed Quarterback, and things couldn’t be any better.

But everything came crashing down when Jaxon, Sam’s brother, told me she was coming back to town. And to top it off, she was going to spend her last year of high school at mine. I knew then that things were going to change...a lot of things.

I might have willed myself to hate her and all that, but the truth was she still affected me like no one else. I still used to see her in my dreams, twirling under the sunlight with her two piggy tails and smiling up at the sun. Sometimes, I swear I could still smell her hair’s flowery scent on my pillow.

The first time I saw her in the hallway, I recognized her instantly, even though it had been almost four years I last saw her. Her dark brown hair was left down in its long waves, her blue eyes were still as bright as ever, and her smile could still lit up the room. How could she look so good when I had been suffering all along?

I wanted to go up to her, hug her, and never let go. But instead, I walked past her and acted like I never knew her. And it had hurt the more when she started to avoid me, so I confronted her. At that time, I thought myself stupid for doing that. I wanted to show that I didn’t need her, but then I cornered her and wanted to shake her to tell me why she wasn’t as miserable as I had been.

Jenny, however, started to notice my strange behavior, and the night I had almost beaten up Daniel over Sam made her the more suspicious. She was furious and started calling Sam names, which pissed me off. So in a fit of rage, I had broken up with her. She had started to annoy me anyway.

When I couldn’t take Sam’s indifference towards me anymore, I confessed how I felt to her in our favorite park, but I didn't tell her everything then. I was surprised and filled with joy when she felt the same way, and I couldn’t be anymore happier. But I still didn’t know how to approach her. I knew my feelings for her were more than what you felt for a friend, and it scared me.

I thought about letting everything out that day, but knew it was too soon. I wasn’t even sure what I felt. Then Jenny came again.

She wanted me back, and even though I tried rejecting her over aginy, she wouldn’t leave me be. She kept pleading with me to take her back and even made me go on a date with her once more to persuade me. I thought to give her another chance since we had dated for more than two years, but imagine my shock when I found out Sam was also having a date at that same restaurant.

I hated that she was with another guy, and I wanted to grab her away that night, but refrained myself. Jenny was already suspicious, and she acted like a total bitch that night to my Sam encouraging me the more to break up with her. And I did immediately Sam left. She wasn’t too happy about it anyway.

I knew I needed to see Sam that night, so I went to her place and couldn’t resist myself from kissing her. After that night, all I could think was having her, and I chased her like a mad man. I had a taste of her that night, and I wanted more.

She wasn’t willing to give me what I wanted, but I persuaded it from her. Soon, she was mine and I, hers.

Jenny was surprisingly cool with it when I told her so she could stop chasing me. She even told me she wanted to be friends with her, and I thought the Jenny I once knew was back. Jenny was never mean to me. She was different when it came to me, and when someone got to know the real her, she was actually nice and fun to be with.

I was glad she wanted to be friends with Sam as it would be a shame to lose a friend like her. And I thought if Sam got to knew the real her, she would like her too.

But they never got along. I saw Jenny put effort into being friends with her, but Sam, for some reason, still didn’t like her. I couldn’t force her into liking Jenny, and she was understanding and didn’t stop me from being friends with her. We did fight a lot over Jenny, but I had already expected it. Jenny kept coming between us, but I couldn’t tell her to buzz off when she had been nothing but nice.

I was left heartbroken, however, when Sam gave me an ultimatum. Either her or Jenny. How could she even think there I had a choice in the first place. It had only been her, no one else.

Even though I was sick, I made sure to get out of bed the next day and go to school as I wanted to see her badly. She was my source of strength, and the thought of losing her was killing me. I couldn’t stop my eyes from drinking her all up all across from the hallway...until Jenny showed up and blocked my view. It annoyed me, but I wanted to confirm something first. So I dragged her away to get answers to my questions.

“Did you really ever wanted to be friends with Sam?” I asked after leading Jenny to the empty football field. I got my answer when her eyes darted everywhere but me. She never wanted to be friends with Sam, and I couldn't see through all her lies.

“I don’t get it. Why then did you lie about it?” I asked in a whisper.

“Because...” She sauntered over to me, swaying her hips while smiling seductively. “I knew she was just a phase, and you would come back to me. Now, look where we are.” She added with a smirk.

So Sam had been right all this while not to trust her. Gosh, I feel so stupid. I jeopardized my relationship with the most awesome girl ever for someone as cunning as Jenny.

Slowly, I grabbed her hand off my chest and moved it away, staring intently in her eyes to get my message across.

“I’d already told you this before, Jenny. I don’t love you...”

“That’s a lie!” She hissed, interrupting me, her face twisting in a scowl. “Two years isn’t a joke, Ryan. You love me, and that’s why we’ve been together for so long. Suddenly that tramp comes to this school, and you change your mind just like that? How many couples have you seen in this school that lasted more than two months?!” She was yelling now as her eyes were filled with anger. I’d never seen her like that, and it left me stunned.

“Don’t ever talk about her like that,” I growled lowly, referring to how she insulted Sam. She smirked cockily before whispering in my ear;

“You want me. I know it.”

“No, I don’t,” I said, taking a step back from her. “Sam is the one I love, and I’m not going to mess it up because of your silly obsession with me, Jen.” I deadpanned while staring directly into her snake-like eyes. Why hadn’t I noticed how deceptive they were?

“You don’t want me because you love me, but because you hate losing. I’m not a game, Jen!” I yelled back at her.

She stared away, probably to hide her guilt-filled eyes, but she still looked determined.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have mistakes to correct,” I said before storming out of the field and down the deserted hallway. Everyone was probably in class now, but I knew someone who loved to skip them.

She was by her locker, munching on a hot dog. And when she noticed me, she stopped chewing and stared curiously at me.

“Alex, I need your help.”

I was going to make things right and get back my addictive cupcake back.