I lean against my car waiting for Ryan and answer a text from Yasmine letting her know that I can't hang out today.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." I let out a small shriek earning a laugh from Ryan. I punch him in the arm.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry, my car is over there so just follow me."

"Okay and thanks again. I know it's probably really inconvenient and -"

"Ashley, really it's fine. My pleasure." He offers me a smile and I smile back. But then it just gets awkward as he continues to just smile at me.

"So, um, see you soon?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Yeah." He waves and goes very to his car. I follow him out of the lot and over to his house.

□

To my surprise he doesn't live very far from me in a pretty large home. I park in the street and grab my backpack as I get out. I meet him at the front door and he offers me a nervous smile.

"Consider yourself warned." He opens the door to complete chaos.

There are clothes, shoes and toys everywhere on the ground. The kitchen straight out in front of us is a complete disaster with food and dirty dishes everywhere. Not to mention all the kids.

There's a baby sitting on the floor playing with an older toddler. There are also two preteens sitting at the table doing homework I presume and a girl about my age on the couch. In the kitchen was a middle aged woman with a whining eight-year-old looking boy.

"So this is home." Everyone turns at the sound of Ryan's voice. "Ashley, this is Sandy and August." He says pointing to the two at the table. "And that is Sabrina." He points to the girl on the couch. "Jake and Gunner." The ones on the floor. "And finally Cody and my mom Karin." He goes and places a kiss on his mom's, Karin's, cheek.

"Nice to meet you, Ashley. I would have tidied up a bit if I knew we were having guests." She offers her hand and I shake it.

"It's nice to meet you too and don't worry about the mess." I say. It's actually kind of nice to be surrounded by a little mess. At my house it's all dull and unlively. It's nice to be surrounded by a little life.

"Ashley and I are going to go study upstairs, Mom."

"Okay- Gunner get that out of your mouth!"

"Mom, can I please go to the skate park?" Cody pleads.

"Cody I already said no- Gunner I said drop it!"

Ryan and I sneak upstairs amid the madness. Once upstairs I trail behind Ryan past many rooms until we reach his at the end of the hallway.

I follow him into the room and he closes the door behind me. I instantly whip around looking wide eyes at the door and Ryan. I came to study not to...

"Relax, it's just so we can concentrate without all the commotion from downstairs." I do relax, but only slightly. "Sorry, I didn't even ask, do you want something to eat or drink?" Not after that sandwich with Quinn. I was never able to purge it out because when I said I had to use the bathroom, she followed me in.

And I have learned that trying to purge after eating an hour or more is just a waste. Nothing comes thanks to our digestive system.

"Thanks, but I had a granola bar in the car." I lie.

"'K, I'm gonna go grab something quick, be right back." He leaves and I look around his room.

His room is pretty simple with a king size bed against the wall and a large desk across the room. He has some rock band posters on the wall that I have never heard of.

He comes back a few moments later with an apple in one hand and a fold up chair in the other.

He bites into the apple and hands me the chair.

"Do you like having so many siblings?" I ask him.

"Um sometimes? These aren't even all of them. I have two in college."

"Wow." I wonder if I would like to have so many siblings.

"Wow is right. Sometimes I feel like I'm just one out of the bunch. Like no one really notices me, you know?" I know exactly.

"Yeah, I do."

"How could you? You're an only child of an actor. Everyone notices you."

"Not the real me." Suddenly it starts getting really hot in his room. I don't want to talk about my innermost thoughts with a guy I barely know. "Let's get studying, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. So I've never actually tutored before so do you just want to go over today's assignment?"

"Sure." I pull out my notebook from my backpack and meet him at his desk. Honestly I'm kind of surprised he hasn't forced me into his bed yet. Maybe he isn't so bad after all.

□

We finish within an hour and surprisingly I'm actually starting to get it. Despite Ryan never tutoring before, he did a pretty good job.

"Nice job, Ashley!" Ryan says, giving me a high five.

"Thanks, you were a big help."

"You know you're actually smarter than you think you are." I'm taken aback by his statement, it actually made me feel really good. Aaaannnnndddd we're back to staring.

"What?" I ask, slightly irritated.

"I'm just wondering if you're ticklish," he says with a smirk.

"What?" I repeat. In less than two seconds his fingers find my rib cage and he starts to tickle me. As much as I want him to move his hands from my stomach, my uncontrolled laughter only makes him tickle me more.

"Sto.." I try to say but I cascade into even more giggles. I lose my balance and fall out of the chair, pulling him with me. Ryan and I are still laughing on the ground but no longer is he tickling me.

"Wh.. why did you do that?" I finally managed to get out. He gives me a genuine smile.

"Because I wanted to see if under that rough exterior you had a smile."

□

Ryan walks me to my car, opening the door for me.

"Thanks again for the help," I say, sliding into my seat.

"No problem. And if you need help again, I'm your guy."

"Good to know. See you tomorrow?"

"Sure thing." He steps away from my car and I drive out of his complex.

Is Ryan right? Do I really never smile? Well it's not my fault. I have nothing to smile about.

When I get home I park my car and head inside to find Nina sitting on the couch.

"Where were you?"

"Didn't you get my text?"

"Out, be home later, doesn't really answer my question."

"I was at a study, tutoring thing." Nina's face instantly brightens.

"I'm so glad you're taking the initiative to help your grades."

"Yeah, you're welcome. I'm gonna go get a workout in." I brush past Nina to my room to get dressed. I change into leggings and a t-shirt and head back down to workout.