Peter's POV

Gone... A four little word that ruined everything for me...

She's gone...All because of her. The beautiful creature whom I now hate...

The love of my life, my angel, my equal, my true love, my wife... She's dead...

NeverLand was meant to be my second chance, she was supposed to be... And now, all because of that little monster we created, she is dead. I have asked myself endlessly...Why? Why did she have to die? Everything was perfect. We had created this joy, this beautiful baby girl who had destroyed everything. And now...It was all gone...

~Flashback~

"Peter..." Her voice was soft, but it wasn't the voice I wanted to hear. That voice, the most angelic, innocent voice...I would never hear it again. I slowly turned my head away from my wife, glaring at the ex fairy with gleaming tears. 

"She's gone...You're daughter needs you now...Please don't make the same mistake you did with your son. Please don't resent this child. You know its not what she would want." TinkerBell tried to reason with me, but I felt something snap inside me. I was no longer sad...I was furious. I moved away from the bed side where she laid, lifeless, and turned to the fairy who held the monster I made. 

"You don't get to say what she would want!" I screamed, clenching my fists as I pointed to the sleeping child. 

"That thing, that beast killed her! The child in your arms was supposed to be perfect. She was supposed to be our miracle, but she murdered my wife. Get her out of my sight and let me grieve in peace..." TinkerBell stopped talking, gulping back tears. Even though the fairy and I weren't fond of each other, she and my wife were friends. Everyone loved her and she was gone. 

"Pan...At least hold her...She needs a name." Tink whispered, stepping closer. She tried to hand me the baby, the tiny monster, but I jerked away. 

"Take that thing away from me! I want nothing to do with it! She may be my daughter, but I will never be her father! I hate her! Take her away!" I screamed, tears streaming down my cheeks like little rivers. TInkerBell flinched, shaking her head as she looked at me. With the look of disappointment on her face, she slowly walked out of my hut with the child as I turned back to my wife who died in labor so that monster could live...

~End of flashback~

I didn't hold that monster then...I haven't ever held her...She doesn't even have a name. She is five years old and has no name. The lost boys take care of her far better than I ever could. How could I provide for a thing I despise when I couldn't even save her mother...?

"Daddy..." I tensed up upon hearing her little voice, her tone laced with concern. It made me clench my fists, my blood beginning to boil. She sounded just like her mother. She has her hair, her cheeks, but she has my eyes, my face...I hate looking at her...Every time I do, I only see what I lost. 

"Daddy..." She repeated, putting her hand on my shoulder as I sat by the fire. I shrugged her hand off, sending her a glare that made her gasp with fear. I terrified her...Was I proud of that? Not really, but I didn't want to love her by any means. 

"Go away. And don't call me that. It's Pan." I snapped. Truly, she wasn't a bad kid. She did everything she was told, never talked back, always took care of her responsibilities. But she was a monster...

The lost boys had taken better care of this thing, this beautiful creature who ruined my life, than I ever could. I have never held my own daughter, never given her a name. I know how disappointed her mother would be in me, but I just can't help it. The boys didn't name her in hopes that I would, but when I didn't, they nicknamed her 'Shadow.' Because not matter if I wanted her to, she was always trailed after me...

"But...Uncle Felix told me to come get you, daddy." Shadow whispered innocently, trying to help as always...but she ruined everything. 

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" I yelled, silencing the entire camp. All the boys talking, playing, training...They all stopped, but I didn't care. I kept my distance from Shadow for a reason... This.

"I gave you an order and I except you to follow it! If you can't, then you will be banished from this island forever! Do you understand me?!" I screamed, clenching my fists as I glared down at her. 

Instead of getting the sharp nods she always gives me when I tell her to do something, I watched as her little lips curved downwards, her eyes, the ones that looked just like mine filling with tears...I terrified her...My own child. 

"Why won't you love me?!" Shadow screamed at me, her tiny form shaking as she stood before me. I didn't have time to answer, nor would I have told her the truth right then. She ran away from me as fast as she could, running straight past Felix would had walked into the camp to see why Shadow hadn't brought me to him yet. His face showed the most heart broken, disappointed look anyone had ever given me in my life. Felix loved Shadow. All the boys did... But I blamed her for something that wasn't her fault at all. She was a new born, an innocent little thing that I abandoned when it needed me most...

Slowly, I started walking into the woods after her, catching up with her quickly. Before she noticed I was behind her, I lifted her up...And she was not having it. Shadow began kicking and screaming, sobs falling off her lips more and more as the seconds past. 

"Shadow...Stop..." I whispered, but she wouldn't listen. I had never held her before. How was she supposed to know it was me? I have ruined everything...

Instead of taking her back to the camp, I took her to my thinking tree, resting her on my hip even though her head was buried in my shoulder while she sobbed and screamed. I set her down once we got to the thinking tree, but then held her hand. She only pulled away from me, preparing to run away again.

"Shadow...Please let me talk to you. I want to be a good father. I really do." I whispered, sitting down by the roots of the tree. Shadow slowly turned to me, wiping her tears with the back of her hands as she sat down next to me, however kept her distance. 

"Why you no love me? I do something b-bad?" She asked with quivering lips. 

"No...Of course not. Listen...Daddy made a mistake that he blamed you for and thats not fair. No matter what has been said before, it isn't your fault." I whispered. That contradicted everything I had been saying for the last five years, but I was tired of hating her, tired of hearing her cry at night because I never tucked her in, I never held her, told her stories, or kissed her goodnight. I have destroyed my child...My toddler has much more love in her heart than I have in mine...

"Daddy hate me?" Shadow asked innocently, crying harder just at the thought. I quickly picked her up, setting her in my lap while stroking the back of her head. 

"No. Daddy doesn't hate you...I don't hate you. I...I l-love you, Shadow..." I whispered. 

Bitterness was something I had held against her for a long time...But really, it was against myself. I didn't hate her because her mother passed away while in labor. I hated myself because I wasn't strong enough to save her. 

This child, this perfect little gift wasn't a monster...She was my second chance...She was my redemption. All I wanted was to learn to love my child, but I couldn't do that when I hadn't even named her... 

So...Named after her mother... 

Y/N...Not Shadow...She wasn't unwanted anymore. She was my everything...

A/N: 

Hello, peoplez. I hope you enjoyed that imagine! It was super sad, but I had the muse to write it, so I just did it. Anyway. Thank you for reading!

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