Song inspiration 'A Drop In The Ocean' by Ron Pope

Peters POV

And still I can't let you be...

I stood on the cliff looking over pixie hollow, it was Y/N's favorite spot on the island. She loved to watch the fairies dance and sing together, just being happy. She and I would dance to their music, just the memory makes me feel warm inside. Her arms hanging around my neck, mine protectively holding her waist, I liked to remember the good times we had. Though I knew her leaving was truly my fault. I know she wouldn't be excited to learn that I had only become more cruel and daunting with the boys, but I spent more time alone. The only time I've ever cried in front of them was when she left me.

Most nights I hardly sleep...

It normally doesn't matter how smooth of a day it's been for me, if I've managed to push her out of my mind, it always comes back to me. I miss her sitting next to me during our meals, I miss the special slow dances, the midnight walks, I miss her in my arms. Everything seems so cold without her and she's only been gone a few months.

Don't take what you don't need from me...

Why can't I get over her?! I scream that everyday when I'm alone at my thinking tree, but I know the answer. She my was first love, my best friend, my lost girl, my princess, my soulmate, my everything. I've had enough... Taking my thoughts with me, I flew to her new home, in this other world that thinks it deserves to even let her to walk on. She's like a queen, everything and everyone is excited to see her, to have her near, but no one truly deserves her.

A drop in the ocean...

I flew to her window, the same window I would sneak into before NeverLand, and saw her sleeping. Her face was so calm, so relaxed, but she looked so unhappy. I know I did this, why couldn't I have listened when she said I was changing, instead of hearing what she was telling me, no, warning me about, I yelled at her, broke her heart, I hit her. Lightly lifting the window was all it took to open it.

'She left it unlocked' I thought. She left it opened in case I ever came back. I smiled, tears lining my eyes as I saw her squirming around, muttering my name in her sleep. She was asking me something, but when I heard her more clearly, I realized she wasn't asking, she was pleading with me to come back to her, not to mould into the monster I became. She suddenly stopped, a moan leaving her lips.

She was waking up. I ran back to the window as quickly as possible, but I stumbled, making a noise I was praying she didn't hear.

"Peter?"

A change in the weather...

I stood completely still, to afraid to turn around. My breath was hitched in my throat, but I had to see her. My feet felt like they were made of cement, slowly turning my body to meet her eyes.

Y/N, my beautiful innocent Y/N...

She was standing next to her bed, her hands gently brushing over the sheets. Her eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, her eyes clouded over by sadness. It breaks my heart knowing I did this to her...

"Peter, what are you doing here?"

"I had to see you." A step closer. "I can't take this Y/N," step. "Knowing what I did and didn't do." Step. "I did it all wrong." Step. By now our chests were nearly touching. "I know you think I don't love you, but I do, more then anything!" I took another step closer to her, but she held up a hand, telling me to stay back.

"You hurt me, Peter. You lied, why should this be any different?"

"Y/N there isn't a day that goes by that the guilt and regret inside me doesn't grow for what I did to you. I'm sorry, truly. I-I-I need you. I'm so in love with you, Y/N. More than you can possibly imagine. Please come back with me and you'll se it's true. Please, Y/N, please..."

I was praying that you and me, might end up together...

"How can I possibly trust you?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. I swear in that moment, I felt my heart shatter in my chest, images of her flashing through my head. The many tears she shed, the defeated sigh that would leave her mouth when I would kiss her in front of the new lost boys, but it was never lovingly, never meaningful. I'm truly a monster.

With a loud thud, my knees hit the floor and I grabbed her hand, mumbling words, trying to ask for forgiveness. It wasn't fair, what I did to her.

"Y/N, I'm going mad! Without you I'm nothing, being powerful, having magic its-its- none of that matters if don't have you! I'm no more than an unloved lost boy!"

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert...

"Peter..." Through my blurry vision, I saw her slowly sink to her knees as well, brushing the tears off my cheeks with her thumbs. She framed my face with her hands, lightly kissing my nose.

"You may be mad, lost, and broken hearted, but I can promise you, as long as I'm alive, you will never be unloved." How can someone make me feel like she does, so nervous, so helpless, but so wanted...

But I'm holding you closer than most...

"Y/N, please give me another chance, that's all I ask. I know you don't trust me, I know I've hurt you. I-I-I'm so sorry! I don't expect you to believe in me, or love me, but please Y/N, please come back. I need you, I-I-"

She cut me off with a laugh, pressing her lips against mine for a few seconds.

"Why do you think I left the window open? Why? I was praying you would come back to me. I will never stop believing in you, and I will never stop loving you." All I truly remember after that was the continual river of tears streaming down my face, my eyes bloodshot and stinging, but she was there, something I felt I was never for her. I was never there when she needed me, yet here we are. She was sitting in my lap, her arms wrapped around around my neck, mine arm her back, but eventually ending up stroking her hair as I cried. Occasionally, I would feel a tear of hers seep through the fabric of my shirt, only making me hold her tighter.

Finally, I had her back...

My first love, my best friend, my lost girl, my princess, my soul mate, my everything.

Because you are my heaven...

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