36 - Devil

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Trigger Warning: Mentions of abuse (verbal, physical), sexual assault, and violence

THREE YEARS AND TWO MONTHS AGO

"Do you ever fucking listen or is normal for bitches like you to act out?"

My lips curl together in a firm line, fingers clenched as I stood there in front of Devon with my shirt ripped in tatters along my body, the sting of his slap still preeminent on my cheek. Tears have stung my eyes but I've been narrowed down to silence, not knowing how to react in case I further explode his temper.

We've been going out for five months, the last two involving me moving in with him and quitting my jobs with the promise that I'd be cared for because of his love for me. I was only filled with glee back then, now however I am stuck with burdened dread.

"What? Are you not going to speak? You dress like a whore, eat like a pig, and expect me to what? Say thank you? I allow you to do whatever the fuck you want and this is how you repay me?" His words slash blade after blade across my skin and somehow, I still feel every bit of pain that comes from his words.

My fault, I tell myself. I ruined things again.

I've been conditioned to take every word, every curse, from his mouth from the last few weeks because he kept me alive. He gave me shelter, food, clothes, and family. He allowed me a glimpse of a world I was never able to have due to my misfortunes. I owed him everything and yet, I'm so utterly confused on why the next words that spill out of my mouth turn my world into utter chaos.

"You can't keep going around like a fucking maniac and treating me like shit. That isn't how relationships work," My voice shook, head shaking as I allowed the tears that formed in woe to slide down my cheeks exposing my vulnerability to the one man who I have given everything to. Body and soul, he is the one I worship because he is the one who gave me life.

"That isn't how we work..." I trail off, now confused. My mind seems to be playing catch up as my blocked up heart rewinds and hits play again. Something had happened, something so slow yet sure that has made his controlling race up from fifty-percent to a hundred. He has never been like this before, so volatile and hectic that it scares me. He frightens me.

Tired, vulnerable, and agitated and not only him but myself. How could I let this happen? How could I let myself get this far, this deep into him, in such little time?

The hand that held the scissors had slackened, Devon's head bowing and for a glimpse, for a singular second I hoped that he felt ashamed. Embarrassed. Apologetic as he profusely apologised to me for his behaviour and how it isn't my fault, but his. That work is tough, that life is hard, that his politician parents pressure him too heavily and he didn't mean to cut up my clothes and insult my weight and slap me until my cheek went numb.

With that hope desperately clutched in the carving of my heart, I released the truth I needed him to hear hoping it was a path to freedom. A path to solace. "I forgot how it felt to love you."

My hopeful assumption goes astray as his body stiffens, hand clenching the scissors once again and this time, I don't expect to be pushed to the ground, bare knees digging into the hardwood as the rest of the clothes are cut off my body and I'm left picking up the pieces of my dignity night after night for the next three restless years.

My words have started an unknown war and I'm afraid that this is how I will die.

- - -

PRESENT

I'm jerked awake through the next three aggressive turns, Devon's hands on the steering wheel a flexing aggravated mess of anger. The car swerves again as he slams on the brakes, stopping at a red light and I blink back the liquid that drips into my eyes, the smell of blood burning my nose.

I can feel my headache start to splinter, my mind jarred with unease as I ache all over.

Before I can even process what is going on, Devon sees me and grins wide, his smirk emanating one of a devil. It runs shutters throughout my body, my mind slowing down as his hand reaches out and smooths down the top of my hair as if perfecting it in a way of his satisfaction.

"Honey," he coos, trying to gentle me. "My pretty doll is finally awake. Did you have a nightmare?" The fake concern crystalizes like honey and his thumb is busy wiping away the remnants of blood and tears from under my eyes.

"Don't you worry, babe. Where I'm taking you, you won't have time to worry about sleeping."

I don't bother to ask him what the absolute fuck he's talking about because I do not care. My dream may have contained the naivety of my past but I am no longer that person. He no longer has that same power over me, and I am not weak.

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

I don't bother to answer, don't bother to entertain his words with meaningless sentences because I needed to stay calm and fucking think this through. He knocked me out cold after slamming me to the cold concrete, so there must have been evidence of my blood in front of an empty parking space.

My eyes widened a fraction, doing a small scan of my surroundings and soon, down at the rectangular shape still safely secured in the pocket of my jeans. That's right, I tell myself. He took my car. He's driving my vehicle with my fucking phone still inside of it.

I can't tell if my phone still works, if the battery didn't die or it wasn't smashed to pieces after the fun party I had back in the parking lot with dear old Devon but tonight wasn't about the negatives. Fucking optimistic Sophia is here to outshine us all because I couldn't afford the negatives. I couldn't bear to think I let myself die with these negatives in mind.

"Dean will know I'm missing," I warned Devon, playing it risky in order to rile him up so he wouldn't notice my subtle shifting towards my phone. "He's not one to share." I add, not because it's false, but because being possessive was Devon's nature. I was his toy, his plaything, and anyone getting supposedly ownership of me was vapid.

I get the reaction I want when his smirk falters, his knuckles turning white as his right hand reaches out to thread through my hair. He shakes my head sporadically, trying to rattle me as he cusses me out once more while I gently slide my phone out of my pocket and to the ground in front of me, already thankful it was on silent and using my foot to slide it under the seat incase it decided to light up the darkness of the car.

"You think you're so smart, Sophia? My, how you have grown up. You aren't my innocent little girl anymore, huh? You're just a slut who needs to be taught a lesson. Well, since you've had so much fun these past few months spreading your legs for anyone, I guess you won't mind if I taste you one last time, will you?"

The shaking to my head added to my headache, my eyes feeling dizzy as I grabbed onto the sides of my seat for stability. A groan left my throat from the pain, it becoming unbearable as I slumped against it, the only thing holding me up now was Devon's hand in my hair.

"Fuck...you." I whimper, too tired to speak. The only thing that mattered in this moment was stalling him. I couldn't care less if he striped me bare and hurt me until I could no longer breathe. What mattered was that I survived, because I had done it before and I will do it once again.

"That's the plan, babe." Venom is all I can taste in the air before the car swerves for the last time, avoiding traffic and taking a route with less cars. The night air turns foggy, and no amount of pleading will change his mind. I already know.

He lets go of my hair, causing me to fall against the seat in a breathless state before pulling the car over until it stops. My heart freezes, eyes wide again despite the daze as he switches off the engine and makes sure the child lock is on. Once done, he sets his gaze on me and I shrink back, trying to make myself appear as small as possible despite the dreadful consequence of my words.

I was foolish to believe that despite him not doing this in the past, there was no reason he wouldn't in the future.

His hands reach out to my seat, pushing the lever that lowers it and all I can do is shut my eyes and pray away that he's quick about it.

Devon unbuckles his seatbelt and the sound of it sends a shrill of nausea through me.

It's better than death. Anything is better than dying at his hands, I try to convince myself but it's fruitless.

I can hear the click of his belt, the zip of it sliding out of his jeans and the warmth of his body as he looms over me. We're miles away from home surrounded by nothing but darkness and if having sex can stall the time, even for a moment, I'm taking it.

Devon starts kissing my neck, making noises of approval as his hands grab all over me and I try and tune it out, to sing a song in my head and transport into another dimension where I'm safe and sound.

The sound of my own jeans zipper falls deaf to my ears, my eyes tightening and hands grasping the edge of my seat as he pushes my shirt up to expose my bra while simultaneously unbuttoning my jeans.

"Fuck, I missed you." He murmurs, thinking my silence is consent. I open my eyes just slightly to see our positions. His jeans are down to his thighs, his dick pressing against his boxers and his hands on either side of me, caging me in.

The child lock is still on so that exit is a no. I turn my head to the left, eyeing the driver's door as Devon keeps himself busy by kissing across my jaw thinking my actions meant to give him more room. He's moaning against my lips now, forcing my mouth open with his and invading my tongue.

I close my eyes for a second, wishing something to anyone above who would care to listen.

Please, God, just this once let me be free.

As minutes go by and the emptiness of the sound of sirens follow, I know that my phone has probably died and the only hope left for me now is escape.

"Devon?" I whisper, once he's pulled back. His hands freeze at his boxers, head lifting so his eyes meet mine and smile in a way that's vindictive.

"Yes, babe?"

My answer is raising my hand to slam into his throat, catching him off guard so I have time to lift up my knee roughly, slamming it into his groin and shifting onto the driver's seat so he falls face down on the passenger side. I can hear his groans of pain but don't have the time to sit and stare, bending down to grab my phone from under the seat and using it as a weapon to hit him over the head.

I do it once, twice, just to make sure I got him good and the adrenaline racing through my bloodstream gives me the strength I need to push open the door, racing out with my heart in my throat. It's dark and I can barely see but being anywhere but alone with him is worth it.

My eyes glance down to my phone, my hand clicking the side button and the sight of it lighting up with the time and thirty missed calls has me realizing a breath of air I didn't realize I was holding in. The screen is cracked, the top of it blackened from impact to me being slammed on the ground but it still works.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"SOPHIA!" I hear a roar behind me which only serves as fuel to continue pumping my legs. I feel dizzy, my head hurts and I know that the cut on my forehead is still bleeding.

I try to unlock my phone with my face, cursing when it requires my password and stumbling my way into typing in the passcode without faltering my movements. I don't know how close Devon is, if he's even following me by foot or using my car, but I know that I don't have time to think of those possibilities when my finger slides my screen to the left, opening up an emergency contact section. Dialing the numbers 911 and clicking the speaker, I keep running and waiting until finally, finally, someone picks up.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"My name is Sophia Adam and I need help." I say breathlessly, my legs starting to hurt with the rest of my body.

"Okay, Sophia. Can you tell me—"

"My ex." I interrupt, not having the time for formalities. "I have a restraining order against him and he...fuck I don't know—kidnapped me? I just need help...can you help me? Please, please just help me."

"Do you know your location? Are you somewhere safe?"

"I'm running," I can barely get the words out, my energy running low. "I can't see anything, it's pitch black. I don't how far we drove, maybe a couple of miles? Can't you track this phone?" I sound desperate to my own ears, my eyes glancing down at the screen at the wrong moment because I've stumbled over something on the ground causing me to lose my balance and drop the phone.

Before I can move to do anything I'm slammed to the ground, a cry escaping my lips as Devon crawls over me with his hands around my throat tightening by the second.

"You stupid fucking bitch!" He growls out, and I claw at his hands, my body squirming in attempts to move away from him. I can't breathe, stars lighting behind my eyes as he strangles me further with one hand while the other shifts to my jeans again, forcefully pushing them down my thighs. I can't feel the cold of the concrete or the pain of the cut on my forehead anymore because all that surrounds me now is the feeling of going under.

My eyes are blinking closed, the hands clawing at his arm going limp as the fight inside my body leaves me. My head lolls to the side, seeing him release me from my peripheral vision and direct his eyes back down at my crotch while grumbling most likely curses my way.

And in the few seconds I give up all hope, knowing that this is where I die, red and blue lights flash wildly in the near distance and I finally allow myself the semblance of peace, going under.

•••


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