Sorry for the mistakes.

Manik's pov

" What did you said? " She asked in a dead serious voice looking down on the floor where I was

In the heat of moment, I said the words which even I wasn't able to accept from months and now seeing her face made me shiver in fear that I decided no way in hell I'll accept what I just uttered , so I replied her softly " I...said talk to me"

She looks at me in anger, still sitting on bed " You and me both know, that's not what you said "

Looking at her intense eyes which was digging dagger into mine, I finally spoke, but not before making an alteration in the place of love " I....like....you "

A minute or two passed, she didn't spoke, trying to register everything, I guess.

The next moment, she stood up not giving a fuck about the drip and the IV's attached with her hands and fingers

I looked down seeing her standing, waiting for her reply

Hopefully, a positive one!

Before I could think or look up, A small yet strong fist got in contact with my jaw, I was blank processing what the hell has just happened again?

Looking up, I saw her with an expression that is hard to depict.

" Nan-nandini- " I tried to speak which soon got cut

"First you didn't said like and second Since when? " She asked with a little hope flicker in her eyes

To be honest, I was getting hell nervous due to her intense gaze on my every single action

" Uhh I always felt something for you but just couldn't depict what is it? " I replied timidly

My friends would get a heart attack seeing me acting this timid, that too infront of a girl who is a foot shorter than me

" Define Something? " She asked again with that serious voice

" Uhh I-th-that I mean, I-uh always liked t-to be ar-around you, watch y-your antiques and spend t-time with you " I whispered like a scared cat

" Oh! Then why did you shouted on me because of your so called bitchy ex? Uhh Forget that, lets start from college why did you rejected my proposal? Or why did you not recognise me or why did you insulted me like that on the college trip? " She asked me questions after questions making me more nervous than I already was

" Because I was scared " I replied truthfully

" And now you aren't? " She raised her eyebrows

" I-uhh I'm uhh I L-" I whispered when she interrupted

" Stop stop don't complete " she said hurriedly

" But I do love you Nandini " I stated loudly

" Oh but before you said You like me, how come it got change this quickly? " she hissed making me flinch

" But I really do-"

"No Manik, you don't. When you love someone you don't treat them like you did to me. Forget about love when people have a tiny winy infatuation on someone then also they don't do what you did" she declared standing up, with a finality in her voice

" I'm-I'm really sorry for whatever I did all these years but please don't go. Talk to me, punish me, slap me whatever I don't care but don't leave please " I uttered urgently

she chose to answer me with her silence

" Look, I know I was wrong but I was scared that what if- what if I'll lose you like Da-dad? " I whispered letting out my insecurity

" You were afraid, wow. Let me tell you Manik Malhotra, True Love is not selfish, its selfless and what you did was exactly opposite. You used me for your peace in return of giving me nothing but an unstable mind, inferiority complex, and a lot of pain which I couldn't even tell anyone " She taunted and whispered sadly in the end, a lone drop of tears fall from her eyes making me want to kill myself then and there

" Nandini I- I- " I tried to say something but nothing came off my mouth

" Oh God! What Nandini huh? What? You made me question myself that why I'm not like those girls you used to date, or why I'm so unlikable. You used me as per your convenience, whenever you wanted you talked with me for hours then disappear and ignored me like I don't even exist while the silly me, use to see my phone every other minute to see any text, anything but I got nothing. Nothing infact because of you I got the lowest grade. Is that what you do if you like or feel for somebody? And I'm not even adding with what you did few days back" She screamed with tears full on her face while I just looked down cause I had no answer

I never knew, she felt like this

" Speak? You love me na? Then speak up damnit, give me explanation why did you kissed me like your life dependent on it and the next second you broke my heart into millions of pieces by saying its a mistake, Tell me, why did you do that? " She screamed again

" Nan-nandini, sssh cal-calm down please, it-its not good for your he-health " I expressed my worry seeing her huffing due to all the screaming, her face red due to anger and tears

" You know Manik, A few years back I didn't knew the difference between need and want, so it took me some time to understand. I thought I needed you, but I was wrong I wanted you. I don't need anyone to live. Maybe you don't like this but Manik, you don't need anyone to live. So let go and live freely. " she adviced in a sad voice zipping her travel bag and going out of the room

" Please Nandini, Don't " I whispered clutching her wrist

" You know, I'd have come with you if you didn't love me or like me, but knowing that you loved me all this while and still treated me like a shit, I cannot come with you. I've already lost my self respect by having feelings for you but this time even my low grade self respect doesn't allow me to come. Don't worry I'll be fine and am not going to tell anyone about whatever happen in this room, no one will say anything to you. Goodbye Manik Malhotra" with the she left

While I kept looking at her with a pleading eyes to stop

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Its been an hour since she left to God knows where, making me hell worried about her, Its almost noon and she didn't even had anything.

For fuck sake, she's been suffering from severe food poison!

In all this chaos, I realised that I don't even have her phone number. I'm literally a douche bag.

I can't even call mine or her friends for her number because they all will be suspicious then,

Urghh what should I do?

Not having any other option, I called my detective to find about her whereabouts in half an hour, meanwhile I keep roaming in the house in worry and stress.

---------------------

My detective sent all her information with her phone number as well. Dialling the number, it showed red colour indicating the number is blocked, and that's when it clicked.

I had her number all this while, I remember blocking her number after she proposed me in college so that it'd be easier for her to forget about me

Fuck me!!

Immediately I unblocked her number, and the next second my phone started buzzing and vibrating due to messages. The amount of texts were so much that I had to keep my phone on the kitchen counter for 20 minutes.

Once the vibration died down, I picked up the phone only to get another shock

There were 1100 messages on whatsapp all from HER.

My heart started sinking, a very sick feeling came in my stomach making me lose all the strength I had, seeing the texts I was pretty sure that Nandini must have said bad things about me in all the messages.

With a shivering hands and a sweaty face, I touched the notification and  saw the first message which was sent five and half years back on my birthday.

She wished!

Sitting on the floor nearby the kitchen counter, I started reading one after another. The more I read, the more I wanted to kill myself and the more I wanted to go back in time to make everything right.

By every texts, I could feel how her hopes were dying, how difficult it was for her to let me go, how she was trying to put on a 'I don't give a fuck attitude', and how she was breaking herself more in the process.

She was complaining, and accusing me in those texts trying to show she's over me and the next texts were like, "I hate myself that I still love you " indicating she's still in the same place

All the texts were enough proof that how much she wanted me to be with her, but me being a scared selfish jerk didn't gave any heed.

To be honest, I never thought how she'll feel as I was pretty much occupy to think I'm the most broken person. Guess I was wrong.

If only I was true to myself in college!

Her texts were giving me chills, I felt like I'm invading her privacy by reading these. They were nothing just a raw unfiltered and unedited feeling of hers towards me, and towards others.

Her last texts makes my heart skipped a beat where she wrote "hope to never see you again"

Shit!

After reading the texts, I don't know how much time passed by when finally I wiped my phone screen which was filled with water drops making me realise that I'm crying.

Wiping my tears from the back of my hands, I stood up and saw the clock to see its 3 in the noon.

Oh god! Help me!!

Without much thought, I came out of the house and started walking to God knows where to clear up my mind

-----------------------

A cycle horn, brings me out in the reality when I saw myself standing on the narrow pavement of road, lost and disheveled.

My mind stopped working since the time I read her texts, everything was so blank that I couldn't depict what should I do?

Walking a little more, I saw a familiar church where I use to go with my dad and Mom when I was a Kid.

Before I could turn back or decide, my legs already started entering inside the church.

This was the first time, I've entered into a religious place after my Dad. One can say, I became an Atheist but in this moment something just felt right in the place. The peace, maybe

As it was noon time, the Church was empty, I walked to the front and just stood there not saying anything, not apologizing, not asking for help, just kept standing there for God knows how long.

"Today, You might feel why you did this, or it shouldn't have happened or your entire life is now going to pass in stress but remember the one infront of whom you're standing is the bestest of best planner. He can change your situation in a blink of eye. All you need to have is faith, patience and a never giving up attitude " A father in the church spoke breaking my thought, hearing him a drop of tear again fall from my eyes.

" We all are sinners, you, me, everyone and maybe that's why we are human. Just remember to try once more before you decide to Give Up " he spoke softly while patting his hand on my arm

The words he said was powerful enough for me to find a light in the darkness.

For me to hope!!

Nodding at him a little, I closed my eyes, muttered a small " Thank You " to the power infront of me, and left from the church with a new found strange will.

-----------------------

I needed some allies before going to the place where she is residing, henceforth, I called my safest option Cabir and told him everything from the start except the texts and few other details which I think Nandini would never like anyone to know.

To say Cabir was disappointed would be an Understatement, but thankfully he give in to help me and thus we made a few plans where he keep reminding me of what I did.

The first goal is to make Nandini resides with me anyhow, seeing that She's one of the most stubborn girl I've ever seen in my life. Its going to be a hell lot of work.

" I would nod when she wouldn't budge then you have to do your work by talking with her, otherwise just stand there like you don't exist " I commanded Cabir who in return ring the doorbell

I'm not very much good in emotional talks, thats why I needed Cabir to make her understand about giving me a chance

The door opened after a few seconds, where stood Nandini in a baggy trousers and oversized T-shirt, her hairs sprawled all over her, her eyes were swollen and red indicating she's been crying.

The drip on her hand was aided with a medical tape, showing there is still a need of glucose to go in, she looked incredibly week which took all my self control to not go and scold her to take care of herself, but I remember the reason I'm here which doesn't allow me to go soft or hard, not yet.

" Hello " I stated trying to give one cocky smile, whereas her face held a questioning expression all this while

" What are you doing here? " She spoke coldly

" Hi Nandini, please invite me. I need to use the Loo, badly " Cabir, my rescuer spoke thus shifting her attention towards him.

she nodded, stepping aside to give him a space

Once Cabir left, I spoke " Have you eaten anything? "

" Yes, I have. Now go " she gave me a tired look

" No, you haven't, I know " I stated the obvious

" Manik please, I'm not in mood. Please leave " she requested rubbing her forehead

" Are you having headache? " I asked ignoring her previous words

" No, leave. And why the hell are you even here. I made it very clear in the morning that I don't want to do anything with you, didn't I? " she hissed slowly

" I don't care whether you want me here or not but you're still my wife and I'm not leaving this house without you " I said casually sitting on the single bed

" Manik please, don't do this " she uttered with a sigh

" Come with me, Please. I-I-I'm extremely sorry for whatever I did, Trust me, I didn't have any id- " I started when she cuts me off

" Enough Manik, I have no intent to listen to your excuses. Just so you know, if you have problems with attachment, so do I and call me selfish or whatever you want but I'm not coming with you " she hissed crossing her arms

Her words gave me a proper closure that no matter what I'll say today she won't come, so I looked around the room to find Cabir standing at the shore of the room looking at me, I slowly nodded at him to  come and talk to her.

But he simply ignored me, and kept standing there making me scowl

What the fuck?

A few moments of us sitting there silently with our own thoughts, when her phone rang

" Hi Mom " Nandini gave me a look before answering the call

While I was clueless like never before seeing Cabir thumbs up

What did he do?

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Xoxo,
Marbil