12: Butterflies Died

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

Sorry for the mistakes.

----------------

Nandini's pov

I have lost my mind, officially.

I am unable to understand Manik, what does he wants? One moment he talks to me, other he ignores me. One moment he stares at me with lot of emotions other he glares at me. one moment he cares for me, the next he don't give a damn.

Its all too confusing, right now!

After the kiss we shared, which by the way was passionate, demanding and dominating from his side, I didn't saw him or any of his friends.

We left for Mumbai the next day and he wasn't in the bus, also.

The past few weeks, I'm not able to do anything. Heck, I'm not able to eat anything as my mind is always occupied by him.

My friends don't know anything about the kiss, and I intend to keep it that way until I don't know anything for sure.

And that is why, I have decided!

I have decided to tell him face to face that I like him. Not that he doesn't know, but I need a closure.

All these things are very confusing and is ruining my mental peace to the next level.

Even if he rejects me, which I'm damn sure he would, atleast I would get some clarity and maybe my heart would stop being a lawyer of him.

After Goa, he didn't called me, not once. The last time we talked on call was nearly two months ago.

My exams went real bad as I couldn't focus, that is why I have taken this decision for my own peace of mind.

Today was my last paper of third semester, and luckily mine and Manik's paper was in the same block, so that's why here I'm, standing outside his class to talk to him.

" Nandini, How was the paper ? " Vishal, my classmate asked bringing me from my tangled thoughts

" I don't know, yours?" I said as my paper went real bad because of all this.

" Well, mine was okay. Anyways I gotta go, have to do packing and stuffs" he said Patting my shoulder, to which I nodded

" Happy Journey " I wished and he left

I am also going to Delhi. Probably, this would be the last time, I'd be seeing Manik as he is leaving for US in this month only.

A number of emotions were running in my mind and heart, my heart was beating so fast due to nervousness that I could hear it beating. Its hard to say which emotion is dominating the other.

Gazing my eyes around, I saw Manik coming out of his class talking with someone looking the most handsome guy as usual.

Rubbing my sweaty hands on my white t-shirt, I went to him nervously and cleared my throat

He looked down and then glared at me, I said "I need to talk to you "

His eyes showed that he's not interested but didn't expressed anything, only excuse himself from whoever he was talking to and followed me

As soon as we reached in the vacant class room, he hissed "Do you even realise how much embarassed I was there because of you? "

" I-I know but again I need to talk to you and seeing that you're not replying to any of my texts or call, this is the only way I could think of " I said truthfully in a low voice

" Whatever, now what do you need to talk about? " He asked arrogantly

I looked around to see no one and then furrowed my brows in confusion as why he's talking like this

" Manik, no one's here to see " I said raising my eyebrows

" So? " He mimicked my expression

" So, you don't need to ignore me. No one is seeing you talking to me and if no one's seeing, then I don't think it would affect your popularity " I reasoned

" You think, I don't talk to you in public because I feel embarassed to know you? " He asked in a serious voice

" You don't?" I asked looking at him

" You know what Nandini, you're right. I do feel irritated and embarassed because of you. You literally gives me headache and if you think that your antics are cute and adorable, then I'm sorry its pathetic. So, just cut the crap and speak what you need to talk" he snapped at me rudely

" I know " I murmured looking away

After a few seconds when no one spoke a word, I looked down at the floor and spoke " Anyways Manik, I need a closure. I like you from almost 6 years now and its affecting my mental peace, so just tell me what do you really want? "

He look at me for a few seconds in confusion and then started laughing

" Closure is required in people who have something in between them, I don't think me and you share any kind of relationship. Also, I never did anything which would give you any signal " he mocked

Huh? Signal?

" We- uhh kissed " I murmured looking away

" God!! See this is the reason I don't want to do anything with you, its was just a kiss which happened in a heat of the moment. That's it. " He said irritated

For him it might be just a kiss but for me, it was my first kiss and I do care about these things.

" Whatever you say Manik, I just need you to know so that I won't have any regrets that I didn't tried. I like you or maybe I love you, I don't know what it is. I'm not able to concentrate anywhere as you're always on my mind and I have no idea how to stop all this. So yeah, I think I have fallen for you " I said in a go whatever came in my mind

He stared at me for a moment, while I only stood there fidgeting my hands nervously not knowing should I leave or stay back for his answer

" I don't " he said, his voice loud and clear echoed in the vacant classroom breaking me beyond limit.

Before coming here, I practiced a number of times that how would I react if he would say no, but now that I'm standing here infront of him, It felt like everything is just fallen apart.

I felt like all the butterflies in my stomach which used to fly whenever I see or think about him, just died in there and I couldn't do anything.

I tried to form some sentence, something, but nothing came out from my mouth.

Controlling myself from blinking my eyes, so that tears won't fall down, I gulped

He didn't said anything, only looked at my face without any emotions, while I kept trying to speak something.

Finally, I controlled myself a little and muttered lowly " Ok "

Before he could say anything to make me more hurt, I walk fast or more like ran away from there.

Coming out of the block, I started walking to god knows where, my face was fill with tears and no matter how hard I tried to stop myself, I couldn't.

I did whatever I can to tell my heart that its okay, that it was just a mere infatuation, that my life purpose is far bigger than crushing over Manik, but no matter what I said, my heart was just not ready to accept and understand.

I'm so so so stupid!

God! Why am I feeling like this? My paper went really bad yet here I'm not thinking about that, instead I'm busy crying over a guy who doesn't give a a damn whether I exist or not.

I don't want to feel like this. Its too much to handle for me.

Why did I even saw him in that park? Why did he save me? It would be a lot better if the dogs would have just bite me atleast after 14 injections and a little rest I would be fine, but this pain is too much to handle.

I was thinking all these while walking, when my phone buzzed, bringing me back to the real world which sucks!

Wiping the tears from my face, I muttered " I am strong enough for this " 

Looking at my phone, I saw Zara is calling

Taking a deep sigh, I answered, Zara started asking questions in a go " Nandini, where are you? Are you ok? The hostel timing is already over but you're still not here? Hello Nandini? Are you listening? "

" I-I'm fine, Just had momos cravings I'm coming in 5, don't worry " I acted like everything's fine

" God!! You and your cravings. Come fast " she said and cut the call, while I smiled sadly

--------------------------

Time to act!!

Wiping the traitor tear from my eyes, I went to my room with a smiling face to see all my friends laughing and talking

Seeing them, I don't know what happened that I felt like crying hard, but stopped myself by pressing the tip of my tongue to the roof of my mouth

I read this psychological trick a few days ago. Who knew that I had to use the trick this early?

" Hey you guys? " I said smiling

"Finally, you're here. Do your packing fast because tomorrow evening we are going out and from there only we will leave for the airport " Divya informed excitedly

" Why? I don't want to go anywhere " I said removing my sneakers

" What why? Exam's over, and since when you started saying no to something?" Zara asked furrowing her brows

" I don't know, my paper went really bad, I think I'll not pass in any of the subjects and I don't feel like going anywhere except home " I said rubbing my head

" Nandini, come on we know you, not only you'll get passing marks but you'll be getting above average marks and You're going to Delhi, tomorrow only. Lets go tomorrow, Please" Jovi said giving me her puppy eyes

I was not in a mood for stretching the topic, as so many things were already running inside my head, so I nodded a little

" I have a really bad headache, I think I'll sleep " I said to my friends and laid on my bed

" Ok, but Dinner? " Zara asked

" I had momos sometimes back. I'll skip " I lied to them

Getting inside the blankets, I turned around so that no one could see me

The minute, my back touched the bed, all the tears started coming back, I shut my mouth with my hands so that my friends don't hear me crying.

I was hicupping and sobbing silently, my pillows were wet from all the tears. The more I tried to stop myself, the more tears came.

I was crying silently, when my phone pings with a notification saying manikmalhotra posted a photo.

The next second, I clicked the notification and took a glance of his pic with a caption " Smiling because Exams are officially over!!"

Deciding to avoid and stop seeing or thinking about Manik as much as I can, I blocked his ID and uninstalled Instagram.

I cried silently until all the tears drained out and my eyelids became heavy, I don't know at what time, I slept.

---------------------------

The next day, I had to leave for Delhi in night and in evening we are going to some restaurant.

I was feeling very low but decided not to tell anyone about yesterday's event, so here I'm acting like everything's totally fine.

" Everything Packed? " Zara asked

 I nodded

" Nandini, are you alright? " She asked staring at my face

" Y-Yes, why would you ask that? " I asked looking away

" You seems- different " she said still staring at me

" No no, I'm fine. Just thinking about my papers " I said smiling a little

She looked at me for a few seconds and then said " I'm always here for you. You know, right? "

" Yes, Zara. Now don't make it an emotional scene " I said chuckling

" Whatever, and about your paper, you're gonna rock that ok? " Zara said, on which I smiled a little

" Come on. Lets go now, Divya and Jovi have already taken the leave slip" she informed

I took my luggage and followed Zara after locking our door

-----------------------

People were literally shouting and hooting on the top of their lungs when we entered the newly opened restaurant.

Four of us sat on our chairs when a familiar voice cleared throat, and spoke loudly from the stage " Thanks for all the shouts but before singing I'm warning you all that I'm not that good"

I didn't have to look at the stage to confirm who is it.

Slowly, I look towards the stage to see Manik with a Guitar, wearing Hoodie with Jeans standing infront of the mic.

Seeing him there I got blank, yesterday only I thought to avoid him but here I'm, again seeing him, making my heart ache very badly.

Fortunately, the restaurant lights got dim and none of my friends could see my face. He started singing in his melodiously deep voice looking at his friends.

The song he sung was on friendship and relationships, listening the song I started feeling suffocated and the familiar unsettling feeling formed in the pit of my stomach.

Listening his voice, I felt tears on my cheek, wiping it hurriedly, I bite my inner cheeks hard to stop myself.

Few minutes later, the lights were back and so was our order. I tried to look away from Manik when suddenly his eyes met mine and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't look away.

After a minute or two, he himself broke our little eye contact and left the stage.

My friends who have no idea about yesterday started teasing me which only broke my heart more.

" Guys Please, Stop " I said with a forced smile, and surprisingly they all stopped

" Fine, lets dig in " Divya announced

I didn't feel like eating anything but for the sake of acting, I ate a little.

" Lets go from here " I said as soon as we finished, my friends were looking at me strangely but I made some excuse that how I have to buy something for my mother

We were about to go when someone called me " Nandini? "

Turning back I saw Cabir waving his hand, seeing me stopped he came to us. As he already met all of my friends in the bus so there was no need of any introduction

" What a surprise! Come on lets have some fun. Everyone is here " he offered

" No thanks Cabir. We have to go to the Airport " I declined politely

" Alright, atleast come and say bye to everyone as this might be the last time we are seeing each other " he offered smiling

My friends told me to make it quick and I left with him to his seat where 5 people were sitting.

Manik, Alya, Mukti, Dhruv and one other girl. Everyone gave me a warm smile except Manik. He as usual pretended like I'm not there, busy using his phone while the girl was leaning over Manik as much as she can.

" Hey Nandini, come on take a seat " Alya said smiling

" She came here to say bye as this might be the last time we are meeting each other " Cabir answered

"I hope you guys have blast in US " I smiled

One by one all of them stood and gave me a hug, I hugged everyone except Manik, who pretended like I was invisible. Mukti called him but he gave her an irritated look saying "don't disturb me"

" Its ok, All the best guys. Bye " I said awkwardly and turned to leave

" Nandini " Cabir called, I looked back to ask what

" What about me, your fellow GOT fan? " he asked smiling, I smiled back and went to hug him

With a small smile, I was about to turn when I saw Manik straight way looking at me, not glaring, not with irritation, not embarassed, just simply staring me.

I looked at him for a few seconds and with a heavy heart I averted my gaze to move from there, and from his life.

Forever!

---------------------------

If you liked the chapter, then please consider Voting.

Xoxo,
Marbil

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net