solar clarke's pov

When I watched them walking across the school yard, all the while forgetting to listen to what Kieran was twaddling about, I couldn't believe I used to think they were the same person. They looked the same, but otherwise they couldn't have been more different.

Nicholas kept his chin up, flashing poised grins at everyone who greeted them while passing by. Nathan was looking down, his left hand gripping the strap of his bag. When Nicholas' friends, Alex Crespo and the one with the white sneaker obsession, joined them, Nicholas was all smiles. Everything in his body language indicated ease and assertiveness.

All in contrast to Nathan, who had seemed to shrink as soon as the others joined them. He glanced at his phone, mumbled something to the others and fled from the scene. 

I contemplated whether I should run after him to apologize, now that I finally had a chance, but I thought it better not to let Nicholas witness the occurrence. I had a feeling he wouldn't have appreciated me running after his brother, no matter how good my intentions were.

The way Nicholas had glared at me this morning in the practice was enough to tell me he wouldn't hesitate to end my life painfully if I made even a tiny mistake. He had made sure I couldn't pitch with Johnny like I normally did, and even paired me with the only team member I could never make the drill flow with.

It seemed like I had managed to make myself a rather powerful enemy. I think I should consider that as an accomplishment of some sort: I was the only enemy of the false god Nicholas. Everyone loved the guy and he loved everyone — except me. 

Then Nicholas and his friends were gone too, and as Johnny had joined me and Kieran I had no other option than to follow after them to the first class of the day. Ms. Delaney's classes were my favorites, mainly because she made us read all the best literature classics and, well, also just because English happened to be my favorite subject. 

At that time we were reading Crime and Punishment from Fyodor Dostoevsky, but instead of spending the class reading, we were tasked to write a short essay from one of the seven subjects Ms. Delaney wrote on the white board.

I was pondering between two options and reeling a pen in my hand absent-mindedly, when I got a feeling someone was staring at me.

I had known I was in the same English class with Nicholas and that he sat two desks on my left. Except, of course, it wasn't really him. Ms. Delaney had only said Dawson when she had filled the list of participants, and "Nicholas" had always lifted his hand dutifully. Even if he had been oddly quiet, I had simply shrugged it off. After all, his group of less known false gods hadn't been there to chat with him.

The Dawson twin who was sitting two desks on my left had a bluish-purple bruise on the bridge of his nose. That and the way he swiftly looked away once I caught him from staring was more than enough to tell me which one he was. 

Being in the same class with Nathan was excellent news, because it meant I would have more opportunities to approach him. Even better was that Nicholas wasn't there to monitor my every move.

I still hadn't chosen my topic even though almost half an hour of precious time to write the essay had passed, because my focus was entirely on the guy sitting two desks on my left. I found it fascinating how identical twins, despite the resemblance of their looks and the genes they shared, could be so different.

Even more than that, I had a feeling I could actually like Nathan. I was certain that in any other circumstances we could be good friends, somehow I just knew that even though I didn't know him.

Nathan was biting his lower lip while he scribbled words on the paper and his caramel brown hair curtained his eyes when he leaned down to take a closer look. Now that I paid attention to him, I could tell his hair was messier than Nicholas', like he couldn't bother to style it every other hour like Nicholas did. That was another thing I liked about Nathan more than his brother: he wasn't trying too much.

Maybe you've already figured that out, but I like people that are real and genuine. I'm not quite certain why that is, but I've never really wanted to fit in. I've never felt like I should listen to the music everyone else does or follow some unwritten how-to-be-popular rules. I'm not popular, even though I'm in the Varsity team and I could easily become a part of the jocks flash false gods. I just don't see a point in that.

"Okay, everyone, you have 15 minutes to finish your essays." Ms. Delaney brought me back to the present, making me realize how much in trouble I was. 

I chose my topic and began writing frantically. By some miracle I managed to finish the essay in time, although I couldn't read it through and all I could do was hope it wasn't all nonsense.

I stuffed my pen in my backpack and all but ran to hand the essay to Ms. Delaney. Johnny called out my name, but I didn't even so much as glance at him before rushing after Nathan, who had just walked out of the door.

"Hey, Nathan, wait up!" I called after him, making him flinch almost imperceptibly. He took a few more steps, making me think he wasn't going to stop, but then he halted and slowly turned to look at me. 

"I just.." The words got stuck in my mouth when his sky blue eyes drilled into me. For once, in the worst possible moment, I was out of words. It didn't last long though and soon enough I had gotten a grip of myself. 

I opened my mouth again to continue, but Nathan shook his head. He was just staring at me right in the eye, seeming less wary than all the previous times, and shaking his head. He didn't utter a word, before turning on his heels and walking away. I was too perplexed to even call after him again.

"What did I tell you? He won't even give you an opportunity to talk to him." Kieran pointed out behind my back.

°°°°

"You guys also have a free period, right?" Johnny asked and waited until Kieran and I nodded. "Good, because it's about time we give Sol an initiation of Frostford High basics, and that's going to take more than a lunch break."

We were sitting in the crowded and noisy cafeteria, seeing familiar faces all around us. Kieran was wolfing down his lunch, whereas I had barely touched mine. I was surprised to see Johnny had gotten something inside his belly despite his constant need to babble.

"So, the basics of Frostford High number one: the Dawson twins. Nicholas Dawson, as you already know, is the captain of the Varsity team, but he's also the vice president, the soon to be prom king and definitely the upcoming Valedictorian. If you wish to see the awards he has won, just check any trophy case in the hallways." When Johnny explained all those facts I already knew, my eyes landed on the familiar figure sitting at one of the long tables with his group.

"He used to date Audrey Grace, also known as the hottest girl in the universe." Johnny gestured towards a beautiful dark haired girl who was sitting at Nicholas' table. "The teacher's pet, the soon to be prom queen. Everyone wants to either be her friend or date her."

"Nicholas' group has five members, but he mostly hangs out with Alex Crespo and Samuel Gou. I know you know them, but since you didn't know about the Dawson twins, I'm just going to assume you know nothing." Johnny continued and I threw a french fry that bounced from his forehead to the table. I watched how the idiot ate it.

"Crespo has been around since Freshman year and Samuel tagged along at Sophomore. They're basically inseparable. Crespo is dumb, but damn he can play. Samuel is smart, but I've only heard him talk when he's wasted — then he won't shut up at all." This time I was looking at Alex Crespo, who was munching french fries and cracking up at something Nicholas had said. Then I glanced at Samuel Gou, The Sneaker Guy.

Then Kieran lazily informed me that a girl, who had thick eyebrows and long brown hair, was Audrey Grace's best friend Harper O'Sullivan. She was Samuel Gou's ex. He also showed me the group of goths, who imaginatively called themselves The Goths, and the popular girls from the soccer team. I felt like I should start making notes, since I had already forgotten half of the names and how they were connected together.

"Then there's Nathaniel Dawson, who is of course better known as Nathan." Johnny finally got to the interesting part. When I let my gaze wander in the cafeteria, to find him sitting at a smaller table with some guy, I thought I really liked his name. 

"He doesn't prosper at any subject, he barely posts on Instagram and as far as I know he isn't on any other platform. They used to be pretty close with Nicholas and they were always together at school, but I guess they've just grown apart. The only friend I've seen Nathan hanging out with nowadays is Liam Taylor. Not because people wouldn't want to be his friends, but because Liam was the only one who wouldn't shut up before he got Nathan to talk back to him." Johnny looked like he was really enjoying his moment in the spotlight, whereas Kieran was leaning his chin on his hand looking bored.

True enough Liam Taylor's mouth wouldn't stop moving. It didn't seem to bother him that Nathan was typing something to his phone, clearly not paying attention to his friend. I made a mental note to try Liam's tactic and just keep apologizing until Nathan had no other choice than to listen and, hopefully, forgive me.

"It's kinda creepy you know all these things." I pointed out.

"What? It's all on Instagram. Thanks to Nicholas everyone can easily find out every tiny detail about his family. Just look at this, for example." Johnny started showing me pictures from Nicholas' Instagram page.

He wasn't lying: there were pictures after pictures of his family, friends, school, practices and pretty much everything he did. Each picture as polished and perf*ct as you could only expect from the false god Nicholas. 

"And what comes to the others, as I said, these are the basics of Frostford High. Everyone knows about them." Johnny concluded with a shrug.

"Almost everyone." Kieran pointed out, a smirk on his freckled face, and he too earned a french fry thrown at his face.

°°°°

This was one long chapter, oops. I'm having a creative hiatus from writing, because I've been having a writer's block and I'm just exhausted to the bone. But I felt like writing today, so here we go. :) I hope you liked it! Merry Christmas and happy Hanukkah. 🖤