solar clarke's pov:

"That's Anshil." Kieran snatched my phone, squinting at the picture I showed him when he wasn't buying my drug theory. When I just stared at him blankly, he explained: "He's Choni's brother — and definitely not a drug dealer."

"Choni has a brother?" 

"Three, actually." Kieran handed me back the phone. "And a sister."

"Are you sure this Anshil guy isn't a dealer?" I had to make sure.

"Yes. Hundred percent. Anshil is a good guy, I'm pretty sure he doesn't even drink." Kieran patted my shoulder, an amused grin spreading on his lips while he shook his head. "And honestly.."

Kieran let the rest of his sentence hang in the air, when something seemed to cross his mind. His eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened when he turned to stare at me: "Christ. Did you tell Nathan you think Nicholas is using?" 

"Yes?" 

"Shit.. that's bad. Nuclear bad." Kieran ran a hand through his hair. "He's going to kill Nicholas. You need to call him right now and tell him it was a false alarm." 

"Why?" I had no idea what was going on, no idea how I had managed to fuck things up so royally Kieran looked like he wanted pull his hair out. 

"Just do it." 

I did, but there was no answer. I tried again and then even texted to be sure, but my phone stayed silent. I looked up from the screen and shook my head. "What the hell is going on?" 

"You seriously don't know anything about the Dawson family?" Kieran huffed. 

"Again, how could I when no one tells me anything? I haven't lived here all my life like the rest of you." I threw my hands in the air, frustrated out of my mind.

"Their dad is an opioid addict who almost got a kid killed in a baseball practice because he was too high to notice the boy was having an anaphylactic shock." Kieran blurted out.

"Are you serious?" 

"Yeah. The kid was rushed to the ER and he didn't die, but once they found out the coach had a drug addiction, it was a huge scandal. I bet you can still find articles about it from Google." 

I was thinking about the conversation Nathan and I had a while back: 

"You're really not the perf*ct family everyone pictures you to be." 

"Oh, I haven't even gotten started yet. We're not perf*ct, believe me." 

"I think I'll rather ask Nathan." Reading about Nathan's past from the internet just felt wrong. I dug out my car keys, reeling them around in my hand. "If he doesn't answer his phone, I guess I have no other choice than to go to him."

Kieran nodded, but didn't say anything. He followed me to my car, still not saying a word. He seemed reluctant to let me leave alone, and a part of me was relieved by that. I'm not sure why I was so shaken, but I felt like someone had replaced my brain with fairy floss and I moved in a haze.

When we sat down in the car, I didn't turn on the engine. I just stared in front of me, seeing or thinking nothing in particular, until Kieran shifted on his seat. He nudged my shoulder and smiled warmly when he reassured me: "They're both going to be just fine."

"I just wish he would tell me these things and not run away without an explanation." I sighed and lowered my head in my hands.

"I know. Choni does that sometimes and it drives me crazy." Kieran grumbled. "But you're only just getting to know each other. Give Nathan some time. You're like the only person in Frostford who doesn't know about all that drama with his dad, so maybe he just wants to cling to that for a little longer."

"I guess so." I lifted my head from my hands and dried my eyes with the back of my hand. Then I started the engine.

I couldn't blame Nathan, if he didn't feel comfortable talking about his dad to me yet. It wasn't something you'd tell about on your first date, it was something you'd tell to your shrink. And even if I had told him about my lonely childhood, those revelations weren't really comparative. 

I felt stupid for complaining about my parents, when he had it so much worse. I mean, a part of me envied Nathan for having such caring parents now, but it clearly hadn't always been like that. They weren't the perf*ct family I had pictured them to be, in fact, it was starting to seem like they couldn't be further away from it.

When I parked the car in front of the familiar house, I was starting to think my time perception wasn't working like it should. Nicholas' car was parked in the driveway and there was no sign of him or Nathan. I wasn't sure whether Nathan had run home or to Nicholas' car, I wasn't even sure if he had made it to him yet.

There was only one way to find out. So I got up and walked to the front door, Kieran following in my footsteps. When I stood at the door, my hand hovering by the doorbell, I could hear voices from inside. Were they yelling or just talking, I couldn't tell. But one thing I knew for sure: Nathan had found his way home and he was finding out the reason behind Nicholas' behavior. 

I felt like an intruder, uncertain whether I should just let them talk things through or tell Nathan right away that I had been wrong about the drugs.

I didn't have to make the choice though, since Kieran's hand was already moving and he rang the doorbell. He glanced at me with a small reassuring nod, his eyes telling me: it's going to be okay, no matter what waits for us behind that door.