-11-

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

Not edited. Throws chapter at you, screams "yes I know it's short" but we needed to hear from Tara and this chapter called to me... soooooo lol

Placing the brush back on the bathroom vanity Tara looked at herself in the mirror. She'd changed alot over the past two months. Her pale skin was now a healthy glowing peach. Her eyes no longer had dark circles that reminded her of the walking dead and her cheeks had colour in them.

She still balked occassionally when she saw her hair. The current colour was black with blonde streaks. When Maggie first suggested ahe have a hair cut and style she hadn't been too sure but after the first time she went for the second and no doubt she'd go for a third in a month or so.

She was starting to find out exactly who Tara was. What made her tick, what she wanted in life. It was a strange feeling to have, after all, she nevet once thought of the future when her father was alive. What was the point? He would have scoffed and taken it all away... just like he tried.

Now she was starting to feel alive, every day had sonething new to smile for and that was a pretty foreign feeling for someone who was never important. Finally she lived with an almost feeling like she belonged... even though she knew that it wouldn't last nor did she expect that it would. Knowing the temporary feeling of belonging had her wishing for more so she kept pushing it to the side. Accepting the ineveitable 'being tossed away' made things easier to handle each day.

Being here was more than she ever believed she deserved but she wasn't stupid enough to believe that she was actually wanted. She was simply a mistake that Lucas was using to appease his guilty consience.

All of this wasn't her reality. The day would come when she'd see the bursted bubble... the end of a dream. A dream she never wanted to be a part of in the first place. Dreams end, nightmares live on.

It was bound to happen. Maggie had been great but she was paid to be here for her. The guys, the guards, they joked around all the time and she felt safe with them nearby but even they were doing their job.

No one in this part of her life was here because that was what they wanted. No, they had a job to do so that's what they did.

Stillbit was nice to know there was someone waiting each afternoon when she got back from school.

While there was a part of her that thought she deserved this after what he did, there was another part that started to look around for a new place to live. A place that she could finally call her home.

Maggie had stepped up her talk of Lucas tryibg to encourage her to join in. She knew it was a way of getting her to talk to him again but what was the point? So what, he was her husband, it's not like that actually meant anything to either of them.

She knew what he wanted and it wouldn't be her that gave them to him. It was obvious just how much she disgusted him, he never really wanted her... but... he left her mind confused. Why was he keeping her around really? He could have just thrown her out, paid her off, but instead here she was with, well, everything she could possibly ever want. Why?

She didn't understand the money he spent on her. Every week he left behind a new charm for the bracelet he gave her when she first moved here. A bracelet she'd never worn but which sat on her dressing table waiting for the next charm to be added on. Small gifts often showed up on the table beside her bed and all Maggie would say is that she was told to put them there.

It had to be him, no one else would bother. So why was he doing that?

She sighed. She knew the reason why. Her face paled as she thought of that night. Guilt. That had to be the reason. Nothing else made any sense. Amazing what sone people thought that money could do.

That first night... even after he did it she didn't understand why he'd been so... nice... and made sure she was looked after. Why would someone rape another and then look after them? Did he have some sort of mental problem? He was confusing!

His words, those words, actually hurt more than the physical act of forcing her to have sex with him. A body can heal but the mind... the mind always has a chunk in it's exterior and no amount of polly filler would make it smooth again.

Reaching out she turned off the light as she went back through to her bedroom and as she was lying in her bed her mind drifted to conversations held by her friends talking about sex.

Her friends talked about sex as if it was the best thing on earth but she couldn't see it.The way that they spoke it was all dazzling fireworks and soft touches that led to a happy ending.

She knew that they were wrong. She knew judt how horrible sex really was and just the thought of doing it again made her legs grow weak and her stomach churn... would she ever be able to do that again? There was only one way that she could possibly answer that.

Not with her husband Lucas... ever.

******************


You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net