With a bright blue flash, I find myself in a nightclub. The walls and ceiling are painted black; the ceiling seems to go to the clouds. I see a crowded bar filled with al types of people and mysterious drinks. The strobe lights bouncing around like a bullet ricochet in cartoons. 

In an attempt to get out of the thumping dance music, I go down a long hallway on the left side of the dance floor. The walls suddenly change from black to a calm grey. I continue onward, only to find myself in what seems like an art gallery. Sculptures, paintings, video presentations, and seemingly endless other forms of media are being represented.

I grab a drink from the waiter and attempt to catch my breath. A moment after my first sip I see a strange, but familiar face. One double-take later, the trademark laugh gives it away. The man I see is none other than Jeff Goldblum. Do I approach him? Why are there so many cute women around him?  I think to myself.

Mustering up the courage, I walk up to Mr. Goldblum and insert myself into the conversation. Without a moment's hesitation, Jeff puts his left arm around me. Shouting with excitement that I made it, he makes the surrounding people think that we are old friends. 

Jeff pulls me aside a few minutes after I arrive and asks, "Do you wanna see what a real party is like?" 

"You mean this isn't a party? There's booze and celebrities everywhere!" I just can't believe that Jeff would think there is somewhere better. This is already beyond my wildest dreams.

He responds with a chuckle, "Oh no. This is nothing. Let me find my wife and then we can head out."

We split up for a moment to search for the elusive Mrs. Goldblum. Only a few short minutes pass until I find myself in the back-seat of Jeff's Jaguar, utterly alone. As I look out the window I notice that we have stopped at an old folk's home. The front of the property is surrounded by a mixture of old Spruce and Bonsai trees. The air is sweet and smooth, a light breeze blowing by. 

I exit the car to search for the man who brought me here. After all, I need answers! I left booze and babes for this? Walking through the parking lot, I notice the numbers on all the condo doors and a strange silence. Where are all the inhabitants? Walking up to the nearest door, I hear some excitement from behind it. *Knock*Knock*

From behind the door comes a disheveled Jeff Goldblum in khakis and a thick sweater, insisting he was only getting ready for the festivities. We walk around the building he and his wife are staying in, only to enter into an identical building. However, this one is filled with people between the ages of 30 and 75, dancing, drinking, and taking whatever drugs they can find. There is even an orgy corner! 

Proud of himself, Jeff brings me in for a quick hug and asks, "Aren't you glad we left that gallery?"