Chaper 6

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Hope

Everyone shot Deonté a look. My heart pounded.

"You a dumb bitch, Hope. I can't stand you right now."

"Deonté-"

Deonté put his hand up at Vixen. "Nah, you need to hear this, Vixen. You real sneaky. I can't stand a bitch like you."

"Calm down Deonté." Talisha snapped. "Just say it."

Deonté looked at me with so much anger.  "Nah,  you tell him,  Hope."

I sighed.  I wanted to cry. It was too much to deal with right now.

I turned to Vixen and held his hand. "Come with me."

"I suggest you stay in here." Deonté spoke. "I'll actually be able to hold him back when he hear this shit."

Vixen shook his head. "I think I already know." His hand fell from my grip and he walked on out. I ran after him.

"Yeah, run ho, run."

"Deonté!" Talisha swatted at him to shut up.

I tried my best to hold him and had begged for him to listen. When he finally stopped t, I took a deep breath. "It just happened twice between us. Me and Lotto. I don't know  what  I was  thinking. I love you too much to loose you. Please."

"You grimmy, Hope. You know that?"

I nodded. "I completely understand."

"You lied to me. Your affair almost cost Faith's life. That's the fucked up part." He shook his head.  "But fuck me, right? And fuck Faith,  too. That's what you were thinking."

"I'm so sorry,"

Vixen dug through his pocket and pulled out a small lavender box. He opened it. There was a diamond rock sitting inside it.

"This is how much I loved you." He said. I couldn't believe it.

"But this is how much you loved me." He picked the huge rock from the box and tossed it on the ground like it was a piece of trash. He began stomping and smothering it into the ground with his soles.

I cried out.  "I'm sorry!"

"Shut up."

"Stop it!" I cried. "I made a mistake! Just one! And you're treating me like this? Fuck you,  Vixen!

Don't worry about seeing that girl again! I'm cutting her and Kofi off from your ass!"

He didn't say nothing. Just turned his back and walked off.

"Take your bullshit ass ring!" I picked up the crushed diamond and threw at him. 

All the hospital staff could do was watch in awe.

"We don't need you!"

He exited down the emergency stairs. Tears welled up in my eyes. I went into Faith's room and swatted them other two out.

"Don't call! Don't text! We're done!"

"You're the cheater. Thottin' ass. " Deonté shrugged. "Bye Hope.  I hope Faith gon be ard though."

"Oh,  she will be! Better now that y'all out the picture! Get the fuck out and don't back!"

That was the last thing I said to them in two months. No calls, texts, anything. I ended up packing up and moved in with my brother in West Virginia. Faith asked about him countless of times. She asked about him so many times, that she finally started getting his name right.

But fuck him. I'm only a woman. I make mistakes. We all do. And I get that much assault from them kids? Treated like that?  Hell no. I'm a grown ass woman, and I expected to be treated as such.

It was a surprise when I got a call from Lotto out the cold blue.

"I need to see you, Baby."

"I told you Lotto. I'm not your Baby anymore."

"Why? Hasn't it been like two months since you and him broke up? Let a real niggah take care of you."

I sighed. I wasn't ready for it. Especially juggling two kids....Wisdom was my only way of support I had. We talked a little more, until he asked me to come over.

"At least let me see you, Baby."

Despite it all, I broke down and drove all the way back out there to DC by myself. Lotto had a way of calming my nerves. Making me feel at ease.

No sooner was he reaching his hands down my pants in his room at his place. I broke down once again and he fucked me then and there.

That went on back to back for another month. I still didn't hear from Vixen's end, so that only confirmed that he didn't care about me nor his son.

It was then I found myself throwing up early mornings. Wisdom asked me about it.

"You think you pregnant, Hope?" He asked, standing at the bathroom door one Febuary morning. The upchuck in the toilet was proof of the possibility.

Deonté

I twirled in my dorm room chair with Talisha on the phone.

"You miss me?" I grinned.

"Of course I do."

"When can I see you, Talisha?"

"I don't know... you know how hard it is to get plane tickets these days, D."

Shit... the worst part of all this college shit was being away from my best friends. We was making it barely these past few months of being away.

"You better keep them bitches out your dorm, Deonté."

"I won't. I won't." I smiled at her jelousy. "I love you, baby. I couldn't."

"You better not."

As soon as she said that, in came my roommate, Gladys. She nodded at me and headed straight to her room.

"I won't, boo." I tried to reassure her.

"Okay. I gotta go. Love you."

"Aight. Love you too, bae." And I hung up.

I rose from my seat and dapped shawty up.

"That was Bae?" She asked me, with a crisp smile, a Gatorade in her hand.

I nodded and sighed. "Yeah."

Smiling, she imitated but exaggerated my huffing and puffing. "Why all that, niggah?"

"I miss her, dog."

She sipped from her Gatorade bottle. "Let it go, I'm tellin' you."

I rose my eyebrows.

"Long terms don't work here in Miami. I know too many niggahs who moved out here and failed miserably trying to keep they girls in other states." Gladys frowned. "Shit, I'm one of them." She sat down on our couch. "She ended up cheating on me back in Arizona."

"Damn."

She kicked her Jay's up. "Yeah. So I'm tellin' you. Let it go and enjoy the full Miami experience."

Gladys had been watching me keep in touch with Talisha while she was dormed in New York for a few months. Although Talisha knew nothing about my female roommate, I told Gladys about our past.

She had a few connects out here on campus. She was also the freak of the town.

I knew damned well for a fact that them girls she would bring up into her room wasn't on no study dates... Not with thay moaning I'd hear just thirty minutes later.

Maybe she was right...  Sexual frustration is a bitch. Dick beating wasn't enough for a niggah anymore. It was under consideration for a month now...  I might as well, to save us both...

Vixen

I needed to see my son. Nah. Fuck that.  I needed to have him. I bet he was walking by now,  but shit,  I wouldn't know.  And Faith...  I could feel that she been asking about me... 

The last time I seen her was in that hospital bed.

Being apart from Hope made me realize that bitch was nothing but a sneaky ass snake, no different then all these hos out here.

I still called her and left a voicemail about my son,  though. I told her that I wanted custody. I was damned near demanding it,  before she put a niggah on child support.

On top of that, my family wanted me to move back to Philly soon. They wanted me and Kofi there.

I missed them all over there...  I was lonely here in DC. Deonté was out in Miami on Varsity teams, and Talisha was majoring in business in New York. 

I had nothing else here in DC now that all my friends moved on out this area.

"I'll come home,  Ma." I told her after thinking long and hard about this. She was so excited. she started screaming to my father that  I was finally coming back. "Just give me some time to deal with my son." By dealing with my son, I meant retrieving him first. I was really going to miss Faith, like damn...  Telling that girl goodbye was going  to  be the  hardest shit to do. Ever.  Period.

Hope

"I ain't taking care of no baby."

"You might be the father, Lotto."

"Shit,  and? Why you ain't ask me to use a condom?"

"So now this is my fault?"

"Man,  just get tested first, Hope. We don't even know for sure yet."

I shook my head and wanted to hang up on his ass.  "So if I am, what are you planning on doing?"

"Man... Abort it." He said coldly. "Or I ain't taking care of no kid."

Wisdom had been listening in on our conversation for a while,  and snatched the phone from me.  "Aye look homie, don't worry. If she is,  get ready for those child support papers in the mail." And he hung up.  I sat on the bed. My head throbbing.

Wisdom sat next  to  me and rubbed on my back.  "I don't know where you found this niggah, but I got you through this, little sis."

"I know. " I barely uttered. Despite it, my eyes began watering up.

"Aye, don't cry." He wiped down my face with his whole hand. "Stop all that.  It'll be fine."

"Uncle Wis! Uncle Wis! Look what I made!" Faith walked in with a rubber band bracelet. I smiled at the sightof my daughter, and son who had come waddling in after her.

He thought he was getting custody? Haha! Within 24 hours of that voicemail he left I was at the child support department with all the paper work filled out. Vixen wasn't getting shit.

Deonté

"Baby, we need to talk."

"Sure, what's going on?"

My cotton mouth was meant for being high.. but apparently meant for this moment right here. Fuck, why was this so hard to do?

"You know I love you right?"

Talisha giggled on her end. "Yeah Deonté. I'm quite aware."

"I've just been thinking..." I huffed. "Maybe we need to slow things down." I scratched the back of my head. A tactic that I used a lot when I was anxious. When she didn't react, I kept going. "You and I gone be best friends forever. Ain't nothing gone change that..."

"...You breaking up with me?"

"No... I mean yeah...  It's not like that..."

The phone disconnected. I grunted and tossed my phone down. Fuck. That ain't go well.

Hope

I went to the clinic and anticipated my results after my urine test. My nerves weren't settled not one bit.  Dr. Poling walked in shook my hand. "Hello. What seems to be the reason you're here?"

"Pregnancy results. That's it. That's all."

He nodded and looked at his clipboard. After reading it, he looked up at me.

"Well,  Hope...  I'm here to tell you that you're pregnant." My heart sunk...

"How far along?"

"A few weeks." He grinned at my frowning face. "Congratulations! If you have anymore questions or concerns, please feel free to... "

"Doctor."

"Yes Ma'am?"

"What are the abortion options?"

Faith

Mommy came home with a bunch of food. Uncle Wis helped her with them. I stayed up in my room and colored, though. I was almost done with Dora's pink shirt.

Downstairs I heard Mommy's voice talking to Uncle Wis.

"What they say?"

"I am."

"What you gonna do?"

"I made the abortion appointment next Tuesday."

What was that?

I asked my teacher when I went back to school. She looked sad at me for asking.

"Where did you hear that word, Faith?" Miss Appleton asked.

"My Mommy." I said proudly. But my teacher just shook her head. "Honey, please, that's not a pleasant word to be saying,"

"Why?" I complained. "My Mommy uses it!"

"But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a good word," Miss Appleton rolled her eyes. "That woman needs to watch what she's saying around this child. I knew she was nothing but a whore, buy c'mon."

My Mommy's nothing but a whore? What was that too?

When Mommy came to pick me up, I asked her instead. "Mommy, what is a whore?"

"What,  Faith?" Mommy looked shocked. "Where did you get that from?"

"My teacher Miss Appleton said you were nothing but a whore. But I know it's good Mommy."

Mommy stopped the car so quick and turned it around. She didn't say anything to me on the way back to my school.

She brought me in and told me to wait outside my class. Some of my friends standing in the hallway gave me a hug.

"My Mommy's in there guys." I said to Aidan and Henry. "She's nothing but a whore."

"My dad says that to my mom." Henry said.  "I don't like that word."

"Why?" I asked him.

"My big sister said it meant that someone likes laying with a lot of people to make babies."

My eyes got bigger. Babies? Did that mean that Mommy was having a new baby?  I jumped up and down. I was excited all over again!

Mommy came out and grabbed my wrist. "Let's go, Faith." And she pulled me out my school. She looked so mad - so angry. I didn't know why, but she should be happy. We were having a new baby because Mommy was a whore! I couldn't wait to get a new baby brother or sister. I hope it is a girl now.

"Mom, can we have a girl this time?"

"A girl what, Faith?"

"A girl sister."

"Who said I was... " Mommy's voice faded off and she got really quiet. She didn't say a word the whole ride home.

*

I remember waking up the next day hearing Vixen's voice! I got up from my bed and ran down stairs in my pajamas.

"Vixen! Vixen! Vixen!" I screamed, hoping that I would see him and Mommy playing together like old times. But it was nothing but.

"I'm taking my son! You not bouta do this to me, girl!"

"You weren't here for three months! What do you expect!"

Instead of them getting along, they were fighting and arguing.

"No one told your dumb ass to leave out in West Virginia!"

"Watch your tone in my home."

"Man,  whatever. I just want my muthafuckin' son, ho."

When Vixen saw me on the steps he stopped the bad words.  "Vixen!" I ran to him and hugged him so tight! I missed him! He finally came back to us! We can finally be a family again! I was so happy!

"Hey, Fay," He picked me up and tickled under my arms. "How you been? Good in school?"

I nodded with a big smile on my face, but then Mommy pulled me away from him. "Faith, I'm gonna need you to say goodbye to Mister Vixen. You won't be seeing him again."

My eyes watered up. "What?! Why!"

Mommy just shook her head.  She didn't say anything. I looked at Vixen.  "Vixen! Tell her it's not true!" I reached for Vixen, I reached really far, hoping that he would hold me again, hoping that he would!

He just looked at me, crying. "I'm sorry, Faith. I'll visit. I will definitely visi-"

"No!" I shouted. "No! No!" I swatted at Mommy and wanted to get away from her and be with Vixen. She walked me upstairs and sat me on my bed. I kept crying and crying. She shut the door and left me there.

Kofi lay sleeping in the crib next to me. I cried more. Why is he leaving? Where was he going? Why was Mommy so mad at him? Was she mad at me, too?

I walked to Kofi's crib. "Kofi, Daddy's home. You haven't seen him yet, but you will."

Kofi was the best little brother anyone could ask for. He liked the things I liked and played with me. He hit me sometimes and took my things, but Vixen had once told me that it's the way he learns and grows. "Vixen is going away. He wants to take you with him." If he was going to take my little brother, I knew he was going to take me with him. We could live happily in DC until Mommy stopped being so mad.

"You a cheater! I don't want him around you!" I never ever heard Vixen sound so angry,  especially at my Mom. They shouted and screamed so loud downstairs. I wanted them to stop. It was slowly waking up Kofi. "It's okay, Kofi. Don't cry."

Mommy let out a shriek. That's when Kofi heard it and started to whine really loud. I tried giving him his pacifier, but he would just spit it out. "It's okay Kofi. Sh!"

Before I knew it,  Vixen ran into the room and picked up Kofi. "Sh, sh, Sh... Daddy's hear, Kofi.. Daddy's right here."

I watched as Mommy pulled and pushed Vixen, shouting and cursing. Vixen shielded Kofi and ran around the room to pick up all his things.

"Let go of my son!" She hit and spanked Vixen's back. He just kept moving through the room.

"Vixen! I wanna go! I wanna go!" I begged and begged, but he just ignored me.

"Let go of my son or I'm calling the police!"

"This my son, fuck you talking about." Vixen said. He gathered a bunch of Kofi's clothes and flew downstairs, with Mommy behind him.

I kept hearing shouting and screaming coming from downstairs. I cried so much. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't wanna see them fighting like this. I didn't wanna see Kofi go!

Then came a big thump, and Kofi screamed and started crying.

"Look what your crazy ass made me do!"

"Kofi!"

"Your dumb ass! Now my son has a knot on his head!"

"It's your fault! You shouldn't be coming in here trying to take my son out my house, Negro!"

Kofi kept screaming and crying with pain. I was to. I hoped he was okay.

I heard the front door slam shut, and heard Uncle Wisdom yelling what was going on.

I covered my ears to block out all the voices. All the shouting. I just wanted things to go back to normal.

To be continued...

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