Chapter 8

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The signal came, but confined itself to only a small geographic area. Just enough Legion activated to form a network and initiated their deadly purpose, but the minimal network limited the Swarm's efficiency. A complete cleanse was not achieved.


[Mora]

I woke well before dawn. Gan laid close behind me with an arm encircling my shoulders and I snuggled in even closer, allowing contentment to warm the deepest parts of me. No man had shared my bed since... No! I did not want to think about him.

That was so unlike me to invite Gan in. I thought the defenses I built to protect my heart impenetrable, but he went right by them. Because I opened the gate.

This was going too fast.

Was this just a hookup? Would he want me for anything more?

Was he truly a good man? It seemed so, but then, if true, should I burden a good man with my issues?

I lifted Gan's arm gently so as not to wake him and carefully slid out of bed. The rational part of me knew these self-doubts were unhealthy — I am worthy of being loved! Yet dark thoughts rose from a deep wound that refused to heal. At least the nightmares had stopped.

I wrapped a blanket around myself and stepped outside into the cool night air. The moon Eros laid low on the horizon, taking on a golden hue, his brother Anteros already set. I spoke silently to him, "Was this all by your enchantment?"

I turned as the door hinges squeeled. Gan strolled out, then wrapped strong arms around me from behind.

He nuzzled my neck and whispered. "Are you okay?"

I grasped his arms and leaned back against him, molding myself into the embrace. "Yes... I think so. I hadn't expected this, us, to happen. It's been so long." I turned around and gazed into beautiful eyes. "I really did like making love with you. It's just... I have a dark past. Can we take it slow?"

"I liked it too. A lot. Yeah, this was kinda unexpected, but no regrets from me. Okay, slow and easy."

Gan pulled me tighter against himself, then shivered. "Brrr, you're cold. Let's get you back in bed," he said with a sly smile. "Just to warm you up, of course."

It was well past dawn when a knock on the door woke us up, and I groaned when I realized how late it was. "You kept me awake too much last night," I mumbled.

"Will, you didn't seem to mind."

No, I didn't mind. Not at all. After pulling a blanket around my body, I peeked out the door to find Kate with her usual grin.

Before I could stop her, Kate pushed past me and went inside, letting in a beam of morning sunshine. "Girl, you sleeping late again... Oh!" Her eyes popped full open.

And there was Gan, sitting on the bed edge in all his naked glory. Kate put on a wide smile and tilted her head, but did not look away. He froze, staring back at her, then scurried to pull a blanket over himself. Kate turned to give me a big look-at-what-I-caught-you-doing smirk, and with a shoulder hug, she strutted back out giggling.

Gan flopped back on the bed as I put my face in my hands. "We will never hear the end of this," he groaned.

*****

Gan filled my mind while I strolled absentmindedly to the greenhouse, so much so that I stumbled over a rock and sprawled not-so-gracefully across the ground. I brushed myself off and glanced around, hoping that no one noticed my awkward dance. Last night was wonderful, but so out of character for me — I went from not wanting to get involved with anyone to eagerly inviting Gan to my bed. What had I done to myself?

My heart dropped when I entered the greenhouse and found half of the seedlings wilted and blackened, apparently under stress. I quickly ruled out the most common causes — temperature extremes, moisture, soil conditions, and any plant disease I could think of. Icy dread rose from my core. Was this related to the mysterious blight? Had I inadvertently spread the disease? But I took all the usual precautions.

This was going to need more analysis, so I contacted my colleague Samir, who oversaw an impressive analytical capability back in Central City.

"Samir?"

"Mora! Good to hear from you. How are things progressing?"

"Overall, well, but something concerns me. I came across an area of blight north of Central City and now I am seeing extensive wilt in my vegetable seedlings, nearly half of them."

"Pathogens?"

"None that I could find. I have some samples I would like to send to you. Would you do some detailed analysis? I am thinking microscopy, pathogen scan, soil toxins, and a tissue analysis spread."

"We can do that. Do you suspect something in particular?"

"Maybe it's nothing, but if there is a new plant disease out there... Would you put a high priority on it?"

"I don't know," he grumbled, like usual, whenever I added to his workload. "We have a lot of other tasks in the queue."

"What if I sent you some fresh strawberries? They are coming on now in the research plots."

"Agreed."

"Thanks, Samir."

He was easily bribed with fresh produce. So, I packaged up the samples, along with two containers of strawberries, and put them on the scheduled shuttle to Central City.

*****

Gan and I met again for dinner, and we took a small table near a window. The room bustled with activity, but I only seemed to notice him.

He tilted held my eyes for a moment before speaking. "Hi."

A few more moments passed while my mouth hung open. What do I say? Gan grinned and dropped his eyes from mine.

"We really need to work on our conversation skills," he said with a grin.

I shook myself out of the spell. "Oh, yeah. Hi yourself."

A hand on my shoulder made me flinch. Kate wore the same smirk as earlier this morning. "Oh, look at you two, all swoony faced."

Gan clamped his eyes shut and groaned, to which Kate responded with a chuckle. Elbowing him as she walked by, Kate left a parting remark. "You stud."

That was the first time I had ever seen Gan blush. He caught me grinning at him and changed the subject. "Okay, let's get something to eat."

Holding to his promise to take our relationship slow, Gan slept in his own bed that night. Within my bed, swirling doubts inhibited my sleep. I had every right to control the pace of our relationship — we had only recently met, after all. But had I already ruined any chance for us? Or was I setting myself up for heartbreak, or worse? In a bed that now felt too empty, I curled up, hugging a spare pillow to myself, and eventually fell asleep.

*****

The next morning, I prepared to give the agricultural orientation to the first group of settlers, and I looked forward to showing off the facilities.

It surprised me when Gan urged me not to go. "Mora, listen," he said. "You are more than capable, but you do not understand what these people are like."

I narrowed my eyes and bristled. "Gan, I can handle the settlers."

Stepping closer, Gan lowered his voice. "These Watchers are far to the extreme patriarchal, xenophobic, and capable of violence. I've dealt with them before. The elders won't take to a woman telling them what to do." He held up hands, anticipating a forceful retort. "I'm not saying it is right, just how it is."

My voice was firm. "I am going to do the orientation whether they, or you, like it or not!"

"Okay, but at least let me be there with you. And if you put on more modest clothing and a head cover, it will go better with these people."

My dark cargo pants and t-shirt were modest enough. "Oh..."I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. Biting back an angry response, I spun and walked away. But I would not take a submissive role to anyone.

Within a few moments and a deep breath, my anger subsided. I should not have directed it at Gan, since he was only trying to help. I turned back, intending to apologize, but the Watcher group arrived, having returned from the housing tour.

A man from the settler orientation team guided the group, wearing cargo pants and a colorful blue shirt that went for fashion on Tau Ceti Four. In contrast, the Watcher men wore simple black trousers, gray buttoned shirts, and round-brimmed black hats that shaded bearded faces. While the Watcher's apparal was reminiscent of the old fundamentalist religions, they may not share the same gentle nature if what Gan said was right.

There was only one woman in the group, who wore conservative clothing, including a modest brown dress and a flower-print bonnet on her head. I had no problem with the clothing style if that was her choice, but I took issue with how she walked two paces behind the men, eyes downcast. Anger twinged my gut, but I held back any verbalization.

The guide assembled the group around me and addressed one man in particular, apparently the leader. "Elder Amos, this is Mora Torr, a botanist and part of the settlement agricultural team.

She will give you a tour of the fields, orchards, and greenhouses."

Elder Amos was a huge bear of a man with an intimidating presence. Dark bushy eyebrows narrowed, shooting dominance at me, while a dour frown deepened on a lined face. The message was obvious: he would not suffer a woman in a leadership position.

I turned my head toward Gan, who stood outside the group. His eyes were everything good the Elder's eyes were not, offering kind support. I accepted by motioning him over.

"Elder Amos, this is Gan Finn. He will help with the tour."

The elder nodded toward Gan, but his expression remained sour.

As we walked around the fields, I summarized plant selections and recommended farming practices, trying to keep my words respectful while still showing my expertise. The men merely shuffled along, say nothing. Amos' frown never left his face — I wondered if he ever smiled.

As we came to the garden crop area, Gan described the irrigation system, starting with the two holding tanks that Kate installed just days before. My fingernails dug red marks into my palms as I watched them, internally seething. The men showed much more interest in what Gan had to say than anything I told them. And I knew why.

Gan led several of the men down the twisted path to demonstrate his hydraulic ram pump in the stream bed while I remained on the cliff edge with Elder Amos, the woman, and one other man. As Gan and his entourage walked back up the path, I turned to the Elder. "Sir, before I go into the details of crop genetics selection and rotation strategy, do you have any questions?"

Elder Amos glared at me, and the longer I held my eyes to his, the more his eyebrows narrowed. But I will not lower my eyes before this man.

"We have no need for your ungodly seeds," he spat, the tone both brusque and dismissive. "We brought our own."

"Your own?" I gasped at the ecological implications. "Were these cleared by the terraform committee?"

"We need no clearance, only God has authority."

Was he serious? Standing tall, but still dwarfed by Amos' massive prescence, my voice went up in volume. "Do you not understand? Your seeds may not be appropriate for the conditions here. A crop failure would be catastrophic. The ecosystem on this planet was carefully designed and is especially fragile now, and the risk of introducing an invasive species is too great." I glared with narrowed eyes. "Elder, you will not use your seeds, no matter what you think God told you!"

Oh, what had I done...

Amos' face reddened, and he bared teeth while advancing, massive fists clenched at his side. The woman behind him caught my eyes, shaking her head while holding a breath — a warning. At that moment, an old terror normally kept locked away deep within my mind broke free, and swirling memories of past violent abuse paralyzed me in place.

The painful vise grip on my arms made me yelp as he pushed me back against one of the water tanks. "My calling shall not be questioned by any woman. Learn your place!"

My heart pounded as cold fear shackled any response, and behind that, bitter shame rose that I was so afraid.

"Let her be!" Gan called out.

Sprinting up to us, Gan forcibly yanked Elder Amos away from me. Rage still marked the Elder's face, but now directed at Gan.

Amos pointed an angry finger at him. "A woman is to be submissive to God and men. This one needs discipline."

Amos advanced toward me again, but Gan blocked his path, putting a hand to Amos' chest.

Gan spoke with measured force. "This is my woman, and her discipline is my responsibility."

Amos huffed, but backed off with a dismissive wave. Gan came over and took my hand. His eyes held mine as he slightly tilted his head, imploring me to play the role. Relenting, I dipped my head and cast my eyes down in faux submission while he led me away by my arm.

As we walked out of sight, rage boiled up from within — rage against all men like the Elder. But the only man near me right now was Gan. I wrenched my arm out of his grasp.

My voice cracked with anger. "I am not your woman, Gan! And I will allow no one to discipline me."

Gan turned toward me, gentle eyes expressing only concern, but I was too angry to consider that. "I know, Mora," he replied. "I only said that to get you out of there. Telling the elder that you belonged to me was the only way that avoided someone getting hurt, especially you."

"I was in the right!" I hissed, coming up to his face.

Gan's face tightened as he huffed a breath. "Of course you were! Mora, those men do not spare the rod when they discipline their women. Did you not consider the consequences of your actions? As it is, some poor woman may suffer the Elder's anger tonight."

Water blurred my eyes. "That is not my fault."

Gan threw his hands up. "No. Not your fault, but a consequence!"

My anger leveled up, and I shouted. "I do not need your lecture!"

Turning, Gan faced me again, but this time, wearing wounded eyes. "Then, you are on your own. But next time you are in the right, just don't end up dead-right. I will not lose someone else like that."

I sucked in a breath as his words struck my heart — 'dead-right', he had said, 'lose someone else?'

Gan turned and shuffled away with head bowed. A tear traced my cheek as I watched him. I should have gone after him, I should have at least called out to him, but I just stood there, frozen with indecision.

And alone.


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