• 85: Pathetic •

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Melody

We didn't stay out very late. After the party. Carson drove me home and walked me to the door. I had left his present at the front, which I quickly grabbed and gave to him. Carson's smile lit up the porch as he took it from my hands.

"You didn't have to get me anything! That party was gift enough," he said.

"I wanted to," I replied, shyly. Carson pulled the neatly wrapped package out of the bag I had put it in, and his smile managed to grow even brighter.

"Mellie! I love this!" Carson exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. "We are going to use this very soon. Movie marathon at my house."

"It's a date," I grinned.

"Okay, go inside. It's cold," Carson said, releasing me from his arms.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said reaching for the door.

"I love you," Carson said with a grin. My lips spread into a stupid smile, just hearing him say those three little words again.

"I love you too," I said, kissing him quickly. Though I pretended I didn't notice. I saw Carson's face slip into the same goofy expression that I had as I slipped into the house.

When I got inside, I took my coat and boots off and put them in the closet. As I walked quietly up the stairs, any trace of a smile was wiped off my face the moment I saw Margot wandering the hallway with a wine bottle. She walked over to Mia's door and banged on.

"I hope you're doing homework in there!" she yelled, slurring about ten percent of her speech. She was probably only halfway through the bottle.

"Yeah mom! Go back to bed!" Mia called back.

Margot turned away from the door dramatically and I froze, thinking 'if you don't move, the dinosaur won't see you.' It seemed to work because her gaze missed me completely and she went to her empty room. I let out the breath I was holding and tiptoed to my room.

February was officially here.

***

My eyes opened early the next day and I could already feel the weight of the month. It seemed to press down on my chest and make breathing feel a little harder. I remained there and stared up at the ceiling feeling everything at once, just for a moment, before I tucked it all away then dragged myself out of bed and over to my closet.

I glared into the clothing-stuffed hole in the wall and then chose a grey sweater dress. I put on some makeup and quickly ran a brush through my hair. I then grabbed my backpack before rushing downstairs. I pulled on my boots and coat only to be surprised my Leslie's voice as I reached for the door.

"Melody! Before you go... here," she handed me a brown paper bag and a container. "Eat something. It's going to be a long couple of weeks in this house."

"Thank you," I replied, taking the food from her. I yanked opened the door and headed to Carson's car. The food felt like rocks in my hand. I slid into the car and said a quiet 'hello' to my boyfriend.

"You okay?" Carson asked without hesitation. I nodded immediately and pushed the paper bag into my backpack. I then opened up the small container to see cut up bananas with oats, seeds and honey.

I stared at it. Debating. Fighting with myself. Two halves of the same mind.

"Melody?" Carson said.

"Yes?" I mumbled.

"Are you sure you're okay?" His tone was careful, like he had many questions that stayed unanswered. Questions he couldn't ask and questions I wasn't sure I could ever answer.

"Yes," I finally said before I picked up my fork and taking a small bite. Though Carson started driving, I could feel his gaze bore into me every so often. So, I felt this strange pressure to pretend that I was a perfect eater and that everything was okay.

***

As we walked through the doors of Alcott, I felt full and hazy. I could see Rose glaring at me, as I passed by her, but I couldn't even give her the satisfaction of caring.

Carson and I stopped at my locker, where I put lunch and some unneeded books. Alani, Emma, and Noah walked over to us with bright smiles and warm 'hellos'.

"What now?" Carson asked.

"Nothing at all; beginning of the semester is boring," Alani sighed leaning against the lockers.

"What? No séances planned?" Rose asked passing by with Serena and Summer.

"Hold on a second, the spirits are telling me to hurt the nearest bitch," Alani said with smirk on her face. Rose stopped in her tracks; her eyes wide as she looked to Carson for saving. Carson didn't spare her a second glance, as he slipped his fingers in between mine.

"You're getting what you dish Rose," Emma shrugged. Rose sneered at her and then gave me a once over as I looked at her blankly.

"She looks quite pathetic this morning," Rose muttered.

"Shut up Rose. Melody has never done anything to you!" Carson snapped.

"Ooh, I like when you're mad. You're all boyish and rugged," Rose said with a flirty smirk on her face.

"So are you," Carson said simply. I watched as Rose's facial expression went from smug to appalled. Summer's face mirrored her queen bee's expression while Serena seemed unfazed. I think it flew over her head. Alani, Emma, and Noah's jaws fell open in shock and Noah even laughed out loud.

"I think that's your cue to walk away," Alani said. Rose rolled her eyes at her as she and her friend sauntered down the hallway.

"You okay?" Emma and Carson seemed to say it at the same time.

I smiled and nodded.

But was I?

Or was I pathetic as Rose said I was? It seemed more like she was noticing, rather than being mean, that I looked as pathetic as I felt.




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Author's Note: I'm sorry! I know it's late and a little shorter! I promise that a good longer one is coming soon! Don't worry! But, I hope you liked this chapter... February has started and we can see it taking a toll! Tell me what you thought :)

Paper Thin is at 267K reads and 11K votes which is CRAZY! Thank you all sooo much!

Special shout-outs go to: Kateslyn11, ChrissyWolfy, deadgirlwalking1067, gracieb733, 14Belieber1, and amariep for voting! You are awesome! And of course to all of you for voting, commenting, and reading!

Melody's outfit:

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