• 8: Or Whatever •

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Melody

"Toilet Girl! Toilet Girl!" A small group of football players began chanting. I glanced around and saw a few people chuckling. "Toilet Girl! Toilet Girl!" As their chants grew louder, the laughter of the people around them did too. More people gathered and joined in as well.

And suddenly my mind wasn't there at school anymore.

***

"Chubby arms and big fat thighs, Didi please lay off the fries." The kids all circled around me. "Chubby arms and big fat thighs, Didi should lay off the fries!" They chanted. Tears rolled down my cheeks and they laughed and pointed.

"Leave me alone!" I whimpered. My voice quivered, and it made everyone laugh harder. They sung their song louder and I tried to run away. My thick legs brushed together, and I hated the feeling. My vision was blurred by tears, but I needed to get away from these people. They weren't my friends. They were mean to me every day on the playground and I hated it.

I wasn't that much bigger than everyone else... was I? I was definitely taller than all the other girls, and a lot of the boys. Okay, and maybe everyone lost their baby fat by the age of nine, and I was still behind... but things were complicated... really complicated.

***

I pulled myself out of my thoughts and looked around me. The guys had stopped chanting, but everyone was still talking about me and laughing. However, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me upset. I wasn't eleven anymore. I exchanged my books and closed my locker. When I did, I saw Alani standing there with a small smile on her face. Her purple hair was pulled into two little space buns on either side of her head.

"Who knew you helping me would make you a target?" Alani asked.

"It's not Rose's fault that she's stuck in the sixth grade," I said flatly. Alani laughed.

"Come on, I'll walk you to class."

I smiled. Maybe I did have a friend. As we walked, we almost made it to my English classroom when we heard Rose's voice.

"Oh, how cute. Alcott High's favourite Goth, and the brand-new Toilet Girl!" Rose cheered excitedly. Summer and Serena cackled loudly beside her.

"Is that really the best you can come up with?" Alani asked.

"Yeah, name calling is so elementary school..." I said.

"And so are your shoes," Alani added looking at Roses flats. Rose's face turned about three different shades of red and the crowd around us 'ooh'ed. The twins stopped laughing and the shock on their faces was clear as day. I bit back a smile.

"Doesn't feel so nice, does it?" I asked Rose. Her eyes narrowed.

"Watch your back, you outcasts!" Rose hissed before stomping away. The crowd of popular people followed her, and everyone else dispersed. I turned to Alani.

"Outcasts... oooh she sure got us!" Alani rolled her eyes. I laughed.

"Thanks," I said sincerely. Alani smiled.

"I owed you one," she winked. "Catch you later."

As she walked down the hallway, the words echoed in my mind. Owed me one. As if she paid me back for standing up for her. I knew I was over thinking it, but a nagging voice in my mind told me that she was now debt free and could finally go back to her friends and stop being nice to me.

I sighed as I entered my English classroom, I noticed Carson wasn't there and felt an embarrassing pang of disappointment. I threw my stuff down as I sat in my chair. I didn't need anyone. I had myself and that had to be enough.

***

By the time I stepped into the art room during lunch I was feeling exhausted. Ms. Foster smiled gently as she saw me. I knew she probably saw the posters around school and heard the talk. However, I wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine, just tired," I said flopping down into my chair. Ms. Foster smiled again.

"Why don't you just take a break today?" She asked. I nodded, and her smile got wider. Ms. Foster tied up her curls and motioned for me to come over. I grabbed a chair and walked over to her, and she explained what she was doing. "I know this breaks the rules of being a 'professional' teacher, but I'm going out this weekend and totally can't decide on what to wear!"

"Ooh, I do love fashion!" I exclaimed. Ms. Foster laughed.

"I had a feeling," Ms. Foster teased waving at my dress. I grinned at her and she pulled out her laptop. "Okay, let's do this!"

I was glad that I spent time with Ms. Foster. It was like taking a break from the stupid and childish drama around me. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that Ms. Foster was my teacher, and not my friend. She kind of had to be nice to me. I bet she pitied me because of the bullying and because I was the new kid. That was it.

***

The next week and a half were pretty quiet. The whole Toilet Girl thing died down slowly and the teasing and stupid songs were becoming a thing of the past. It felt like the calm before the storm. I wondered when Rose was going to hit next, or why she hadn't yet, but I figured it was best to leave it alone.

The storm finally hit on a Thursday night, but it was at home instead. My dad was home from work, and another fancy family dinner had to happen. While they always ended well for everyone else, it was never the case for me. I came downstairs wearing a cute flowery dress and my hair braided. I sat down in my usual seat, beside Mia. She gave me a once over and rolled her eyes.

"We aren't going to the beach, it's dinner time," Mia hissed. I glared at her and turned away. It was beyond old. I could never do right in her eyes.

My father sat down across from me, and Margot beside him. She sniffed at my appearance but said nothing. She was still giving me the silent treatment from the lunch she had with her friends. I was perfectly okay with it too.

Leslie set our meals down in front of us. Pork, rice and steamed vegetables. I thanked her, even though I really didn't want pork or rice. So, I began eating the veggies first. Everyone began eating as well.

"So, love monkey, how was your day at work?" Margot asked my father. I nearly choked on a green bean at the pathetic pet name. Was she kidding?

"It was great! Lots of things to do!" He responded. Margot smiled. "How about you? How was your day?"

Margot launched into a minute to minute explanation on every earth-shaking event that occurred today. I wasn't sure why we bothered doing this. It was always an invitation for another episode of The Margot Show.

"Melody, how's school?" My dad asked. I swallowed hard and forced a smile.

"It's great!" I lied cheerily. "Esp–"

"I was on a few social media sites, and I noticed a very interesting picture... Toilet Girl," Mia smirked as she interrupted. I was so surprised I almost didn't know what to do. I didn't want to share what was going on at school because I didn't want my dad to be worrying about me.

"Shut up Mia!" I snapped quickly. My father's eyes widened in shock and Margot looked both horrified and amused.

"Melody!" They exclaimed in unison. There goes the silent treatment.

"I don't mean to be rude but it's not any of your business Mia, so just... please... stop talking," I said quietly. I could feel my cheeks heating.

"Melody!" My father repeated in dismay.

"Sorry," I said, avoiding his gaze.

"You're so disrespectful!" Margot added. "Now apologize." I glared down at my plate.

"Sorry," I said half-heartedly.

Mia raised an eyebrow. "I didn't hear that." I pressed my lips together and took a slow, breath through my nose.

"I said that I am sorry," I repeat slowly, emphasizing every word as if she was an idiot. When she smirked at me with satisfaction, I pushed my food away and stood up. "Excuse me," I said leaving the table.

"What about your food?" My dad asked.

"I've lost my appetite," I replied dryly. To be honest, I barely had it to begin with.

I walked up to my room and changed into my leggings and an oversized white crewneck sweater. After yanking on my sneakers, I marched down the stairs. As I headed towards the door I heard a chair scrape against the floor.

"Where are you –"

I slammed the door behind me. I don't need to answer to her. She is not and will never be my mother.

***

I found myself running laps in the same park across from Carson's house again. I knew it was stupid and I couldn't risk being seen again, but all I could think about was burning off dinner and my anger. I sprinted until I could barely see, and as I fell against the grass, a few tears escaped from my eyes. I roughly wiped them away.

My legs hurt, but my head and heart hurt more. I hated running away from the chaos, but it was the only thing that seemed to work. I wiped away the last few tears and faced the pond that the park overlooked. I wasn't wasting any more tears on my broken family.

"Melody?" I heard. I knew whose voice it belonged to. Though I'd hoped he wouldn't see me, it was inevitable. At least I was in a looser sweater and my hair was still in a braid.

"Hey Carson," I said flatly, without turning around.

"Y-you okay?" He asked quietly. I was surprised to hear the stutter in his question, but I nodded. Carson sighed and sat down next to me. "I know that's a lie."

"How?" I looked at him in disbelief. People didn't pay enough attention to me to see through my façade. I was uncomfortable to say the least, but I felt kind of happy to know that someone sort of cared.

"I saw you through my window," Carson said. I knew that would happen. I needed to stop running here, but it was the only park like this in our area.

"Right," I mumbled. "You know, you really shouldn't be here," I warned, partly to change the subject but partly because it was true. Carson raised an eyebrow and leaned back.

"And why's that?" Carson asked. He didn't seem bothered at all. In fact, there was a small smile toying at the corner of his lips.

"Because your girlfriend or whatever will get angry," I replied. I mean clearly, he and Rose were a thing, or at least headed that way. Why else would she be all over him? Why else would she warn me to stay away?

The smile on Carson's lips grew wider.

"I don't have a girlfriend or whatever," Carson teased. I turned my head away from him and looked out at the still water and bit the inside of my cheek to prevent any expressions from appearing on my face.

"Okay," I said after a moment. The loud sound of Do Your Ears Hang Low? in the form of tinkling bells danced through the air, before our conversation could continue. Suddenly, kids from over at the jungle gym and swings began running and screaming. The ice cream truck was here.

"Let me buy you an ice cream!" Carson said standing up. I frowned. Ice cream was too fattening. I couldn't eat that – it would go straight to my thighs, or worse, my stomach.

But Carson was being so kind. Why was he being nice to me? Did he just pity me, or did he really want to be my friend?

"Why?" I asked looking up at him.

"Because you're sad and won't tell me what's wrong, but ice cream always cheers people up," Carson said with a small smile. I looked down, unsure. "It doesn't have to be ice cream, it could be a Popsicle," Carson prodded. I bit my lip in contemplation. I wasn't sure if I could do it. There was a bit of anxiety bubbling in my chest as I thought of consuming solely sugar, but Carson was being so sweet, and I didn't want him to catch on.

"Maybe..." I said standing up. The grin on Carson's face tripled in size. I liked seeing it so much, I already knew my answer. I would just have to find something low calorie and jog home.

Carson's smile made me feel so warm inside, it made me want to do anything to keep him smiling at me... especially since he didn't have a girlfriend, or whatever.


______________

Author's Note: Kind of a bitter sweet ending am I right? But the whole chapter was kind of bitter sweet... perhaps I should just change the title? Kidding! But do let me know what you think! Are you surprised? Happy? Mad? What are you predicting? Will revenge be served in the next update? Stick around and find out ;)

Vote and comment (maybe one for the new banner) ! :)

PS. I listened to a lot of Bon Iver writing this!

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