Melody

I knew Carson wouldn't fall asleep unless I did, so I tried. I really tried and eventually, I was asleep too. For a moment. Because then the nightmares were back. And they were worse. More realistic. More vivid. More terrifying.

"Melody! Hey." Carson's voice both startled me and saved me from my nightmares. I couldn't speak, I just gasped for air. Gasped for sanity. "Mellie. Shh... you're okay," he whispered into my ear. I felt one of his hands on my shoulder, while the other stroked my hair, anchoring me to reality. Still, I jumped slightly at the sudden contact before relaxing into it.

These are Carson's hands. Carson's hands are safe, I reminded myself.

Carson sat up and pulled me towards him. My head was against his chest, and my legs tucked into a ball. Soon, my breathing slowed down and Carson wiped away tears from my cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, feeling embarrassed.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Carson said into my hair.

"That's not true," I replied quietly. "It's so late at night. You should be sleeping, not being woken up by me."

"I don't mind Mellie," he replied.

"It's okay if you do... I know I'm a lot to deal with." It came out so quietly, I wasn't sure he heard it. I wasn't even sure I'd said it. I felt my eyes watering and I was frustrated at myself for crying, yet again.

"Melody. You have a lot going on, but you are not a lot to deal with," Carson said, kissing my hair. "I'm always here for you. I only wish you would talk to me."

I was quiet for a moment, unsure what to say to him. I wanted to talk to him too. But I was terrified of all I had to say. What if it was too much for him to hear? What if it was too much for me to hear? I wasn't sure I could handle saying anything out loud. It would make it real.

But maybe the small stuff isn't that big of a deal, a little part of me said. Maybe we can both handle that.

"I-I've been getting nightmares," I whispered, shifting so that I could stare out the window that faced the park. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, so instead, I watched the sky, which was slowly brightening into a dark, navy blue colour. "They're really bad. Really dark. Diesel's in them." My breath hitched as his name formed on my tongue. "My mom's car accident is in them. Tonight, I could see her... her body." I brushed a tear off my cheek. "So... I don't sleep. Sometimes I can't... and other times, I try not to. Because right now, being asleep is just as bad as being awake."

I held my breath, when Carson didn't say anything right away. Maybe I said too much. I started to shift, to apologize, to move, to do something. Anything. But Carson tightened his arms around me rested his cheek on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm sorry that things are so tough and that even sleep isn't peaceful."

"It's okay," was all I could respond with, though we both knew it wasn't true.

"It will be," Carson said, gently. "The nightmares will stop soon and in the meantime, I'll be here to help you get back to sleep when you need me."

"Okay," I whispered.

We were quiet for a little while, before Carson loosened his arms around me. I looked up at him in confusion, his warmth feeling further away from me.

"Let's lie down and relax. You don't have to sleep if you don't want to, but I'll stroke your hair and you can close your eyes if you want."

"Okay," I repeated softly. He laid down and I rested my head on his chest, staring out the window and into the forest. His fingers danced through my brunette waves, which felt soothing enough that I closed my eyes.

"I'm glad you're here," Carson whispered about a half hour later. It was so quiet I almost missed it. 'Here' could mean here in his room. Which I was grateful for as well. But I knew that he meant something deeper and something in me couldn't respond to that.

***

A few hours later, the sun was up, and Carson and I snuck downstairs to the living room before anyone was awake. While he eventually went to sleep, I didn't make that mistake again and forced myself to stay awake while he slept. We were now watching Toy Story – or at least I was pretending to watch it while Carson watched, half asleep from his position on the couch. I was lost in thought, wondering if my father would ever know what I knew, if he already knew, if I'd get in trouble for leaving so early again, if anyone really cared where I was...

"Good morning!" Harper chirped happily as she came down the stairs. She pulled me out of my thoughts, and I turned to smile at her.

"Good morning!" Carson and I said at the same time.

"If you're hungry, I can make eggs and bacon for breakfast!" she offered with a smile. There was something behind it that I couldn't quite read so I gave Harper a small smile and hoped she wouldn't ask me anything.

Carson glanced over at me, and while my fists clenched underneath the blanket, matching the feeling in my stomach, I said, "Sure. Thank you."

"Sounds good. I'll call you when it's ready!" she said, walking away.

Once she was out of earshot I turned to Carson, the smile no longer propping my lips up into curves.

"She knows." It was flat and quiet.

"Yes."

"I'm not talking about it," I said.

"Mel–"

"I'm. Not. Talking. About. It." My teeth were gritted, and for the first time, I met his eyes. I knew how naked mine were for once, showing whatever emotion I usually kept locked away inside them. His eyes were filled with worry, so I quickly looked away.

"Okay," he said quietly.

"Okay," I mumbled, turning my attention back to Toy Story.

***

Both Carson's parents and little brother sat around the table at breakfast. My eyes glanced around the table, and I felt horrified at what a regular person would feel compelled to reach for. Bacon, eggs, toast, home fries, and fresh fruit. My heart hammered in my chest so hard it echoed in my ears. I wondered if anyone noticed my slightly shaking hands as we passed the food around.

"So, any plans today Connor?" Carl asked, shovelling bacon onto his plate. I took the plate of fruit from Carson and put a few blueberries and orange slices on my plate. Quickly, I passed the plate to Harper.

"Just some homework then I'm going to Matty's," Connor said taking the bacon from his dad.

"Cool. Are you going to crush some NBA2K?" Carl asked. I bit back a smile at Connor's attempt to mask his uncomfortable facial expression. His dad trying to be hip? The horror.

"Something like that," Connor mumbled, making Carson chuckle. I took a bit of eggs and skipped the bacon.

"What about you two?" Harper asked. I felt like she was watching me, and I didn't know what to do to pass the test.

"Probably just movies," Carson said, a small smile on his face.

"Which ones?" Carl asked.

"I think the Princess and the Frog is next on the agenda," I chimed in, a smile on my face too. It felt forced, but I hoped it was enough for Harper to move along. I put a blueberry in my mouth and forced myself to chew and swallow it, though my stomach lurched slightly, threatening to reject it.

"I think you two should ask Disney to hire you to be on their movie watching board," Harper laughed. She turned to her husband, to ask him about one of his family members, and the heat was off me.

I forced myself to eat a few bites of everything on my plate; enough that it wouldn't raise any questions, but not enough to feel full. I pushed it around, answered questions and in the end, got out of really eating. Neither my stomach, nor my brain, could handle any more than the little bits I forced myself. And that would be my limit for the day.

***

"Where the hell have you been?" Margot asked when I stepped through the door that afternoon. She was on the stairs but turned to face me when she heard the door.

"None of your business," I snapped. I was as surprised as she was when it left my mouth. Her eyes hardened, and she stepped off the stairs and walked towards me.

"You know, this attitude of yours is out of line. You will respect me in my home," she sneered. She was so close I could smell the stale alcohol on her breath.

"Your home? My father's home," I corrected.

"Well your father will be upset when he hears about the way you've been acting. You're nothing but a nuisance in his life."

"And you're nothing but a sloppy replacement for my mother!" I yelled.

Smack.

I heard it before I felt it. Margot's hand was hard and fast as it flew across my face. A hot, stinging sensation rose to the surface of my cheek, and I stumbled backwards. I looked up at her in horror and surprise.

"It's your word against mine," was all Margot said before turning on her heels and heading into the kitchen. For a moment, all I could do was put my cold fingers against my cheek and stare after her in disbelief.

After a minute, my brain unfroze, and I managed to drag myself up to my room. Though I heard when my father came home that night, I didn't bother going down to see him. My cheek was also swelling, and I didn't know how to explain what happened. It would likely boil down to the fact that I was rude and paid the price for it.

So, I didn't say anything.

In the morning, I took a little extra time, to cover the now bruise with makeup. It didn't really help as much as I hoped it would so, I left my hair down to cover it more. I wore light blue boyfriend jeans and an over-sized black sweater, with black combat boots, hoping to just fade into the background at school today.

There was no such luck. The student body seemed to stand still when I walked through the doors with Carson. For a moment, I wondered if my hair and makeup had failed me, and everyone could see Margot's slap.

And then I saw him amongst a group of jocks.

Suddenly, I wished people had seen the mark instead.

________________

Author's Note: Hii! Sorry for the delay! This one's long though so I hope it makes up for that! Let me know what you think about this chapter! 

Margot's slap? 

And who is back?

What do you think might happen next!?