• 112: Medicine Cabinet •

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Melody

That night, I lied awake, glaring up at my ceiling. I wondered if other people thought I was so plain and ugly, that it had to be a lie that Diesel did what he did. Or if they thought I was cold-hearted enough to be a cheater and try to ruin his life. Did I do something to make it seem that way? I wondered why Mia and Margot were always so cruel to me. Why my dad didn't seem to notice or care that they were.

No one came up to check on me. No one came up to see if I was okay. No one came. Not that I was surprised. No one ever did. No one cared and no one noticed.

I went out to my balcony and closed the window behind me. I pulled out my phone and let my fingers hit dial on the only person who didn't disappoint me constantly. It rang once, and I hung up. It was three in the morning; I hoped Carson was sleeping. Like he should be. Like a normal teenage boy who doesn't have an unreasonable amount of issues to keep him awake at night.

I wondered what that might be like. To feel normal. To like what I see in the mirror. To not have had Diesel's unwanted hands bruise me. To not have an absent father. To be comfortable at home. To not have a potential murderer living in my house. To have my mother.

I sat up in my bed, something shifting inside of me. The house was silent and dark as I tiptoed out of my room. My eyes had adjusted to the night a few hours ago, so I had no problem walking around without a flashlight. I crept into the kitchen and opened up the cabinet I had seen Margot open; the medicine cabinet.

An orange, prescription bottle stood out on the shelf. I held it up in the moonlight that streamed through the kitchen window. Sleeping pills prescribed to Margot Allen. I wondered if the reason she confessed in her sleep was because she forgot to take them. I also wondered what would happen if the six she had left suddenly disappeared. My dad was supposed to be home tomorrow and maybe if he heard what she had to say in her sleep... maybe things would be different.

I opened the bottle and took five pills out, reading that the dosage said two. One wouldn't be enough to do anything for her, but hopefully she'd be tricked into thinking she forgot to refill it. I hid the bottle behind a couple other medicine bottles, and snuck back to my room, hoping for the best.

***

The next morning, I was never more grateful that it was Saturday. I watched the sun come up through the window and I was grateful the night was over. It just meant I had an entire day to kill.

After texting Carson, we decided to do homework over at his house. I threw my hair into a messy bun after dragging on dark blue skinny jeans and an oversized white sweater. All the makeup in the world didn't hide the deep bags under my eyes and while Carson smiled as I got into the car, there was a hint of concern behind it.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Carson asked.

"I guess..." I lied. I didn't sleep at all. I even got out of bed early and made myself a large, black coffee. It tasted bitter and burned as I rushed to get out of the kitchen, my least favourite room in the house, but I felt so tired that it was all I could think of to function. That could have accounted for my trembling hands and bouncy legs. Or it could be the nervousness about what I did. "You?"

"I did," Carson said, watching me out of the corner of his eye as he pulled off from the side of the road. "Are you ready to do homework?"

"Yeah, I've been avoiding it like crazy so hopefully I can get a lot done," I said. I doubted it however; I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen when I got home.

"Yup. Chemistry's been so time consuming, so my other courses are suffering," Carson replied, with a laugh.

We pulled up to his house and went inside quickly, escaping the chilly February wind. After a quick greeting with Harper, we ran up to Carson's room, backpacks in hand. I was grateful to dodge Harper's observant eyes; fearful she might notice the chaotic energy radiating off my body.

While we did homework, it felt impossible to focus. It was as if there were two forces fighting inside my body at once. One where I felt extremely exhausted, and another where I felt like running a marathon. The exhaustion had my eyes while the hyperactivity had me pacing around the room as I read my textbook. I barely even registered that I was pacing until Carson pointed it out.

"Mellie.... Everything okay over there?" he asked, turning over his shoulder; a slightly amused smile on his lips.

"What do you mean?" I replied.

"You're moving like the Energizer Bunny," he smirked.

"Yeah," I smiled. "Must be the coffee."

"Coffee?" Carson asked, spinning around in his chair. His smile softened and he opened his arms. I walked into them, standing between his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked up at me. "How much did you actually sleep last night?"

"Maybe an hour or two?" I said looking away from him.

"That's not good," Carson sighed. "Why don't you try to lie down and rest?"

"I can't. I have a lot to do," I mumbled.

"Okay," Carson smiled. "But take it easy on yourself okay? You need sleep."

"Okay," I replied quietly.

***

By the time I got home, it felt like my body was vibrating with anticipation. I was so desperately waiting to see if I was right about what I'd heard and for my dad to hear what I heard. I was so keyed up that I went and exercised downstairs until I couldn't see straight.

By the time I got upstairs, it was almost seven and I was wondering when my father was getting home. As I headed to my room, I rounded a corner and almost bumped into Margot.

"Ugh. Go take a shower," she sneered as she saw the sweat-drenched sight of me. Her nose wrinkled and her eyes were cold. There was a wine glass in her hand that was almost empty.

"Where do you think I'm headed?" I mumbled walking by her. She reached out to grab my arm, but I dodged her, and she grabbed my sweater sleeve.

"This new attitude of your is getting stale," she snapped. I stared blankly at her, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.

"When's my father coming home?" I asked.

"Tomorrow night," she said, as it was the most obvious thing in the world. I ripped my sleeve out of her hand and walked away. I was so damn tired of him leaving on a whim.

I retreated to my room and showered, standing there for a half hour as the hot water beat on my skin. Then I sat. I sat and I waited. I waited until the lights were off and then slowly as everyone got still, I opened the door.

And then I heard it again. Margot was mumbling in her sleep.

"Haaaaarmony. Ooouuut of controoool."

Unintelligible muttering.

"Waaaaas an acciiiiideeen...."

I couldn't take it. I pulled on my winter jackets and boots before climbing out my window. I let my feet guide me to where I usually went, while I dialled Carson's number.

"Melody," the alarm and sleep were both evident in his voice. It made sense. It was almost four in the morning. "Is everything okay?" Tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them away.

"Can you meet me at the park?" I asked, avoiding his question entirely.

"Yes, I'll be there in a minute," he replied. As I made it to the park, I could see his figure stepping out the front door of his house. He met me on the sidewalk, and I seemed to collapse into his arms a sob ripping through my chest. "Mellie!" he exclaimed as he caught me. Carson wrapped his arms around me, and I breathed deeply, slowing my breath and blinking away tears.

"I'm sorry," I breathed. "It's fine... I'm fine."

I think I was trying to convince myself more than Carson.

"What happened?" Carson breathed into my hair. I shrugged and shook my head 'no' at the same time. Where would I even begin to answer that question? As if he'd even believe me. He'd probably convince me that I misheard. Maybe my sleep deprivation was kicking in. "Melody, something must have happened." He leaned back.

"I – I can't... I just – I really can't be home right now," I said. It was rushed and quiet. It was the only way I could get the words out.

"Okay. Come inside. Try to sleep," he murmured.

"Won't your mom be mad?"

"She won't mind at all," Carson replied. He took me by the hand and led me into his house. Using his phone flashlight, he guided us through the dark after we took our shoes off at the door.

When we got into Carson's room, he led me over to his bed and I sat down on the edge. It was still dark; the only light was the moonlight streaming through the window. I stared blankly down at the floor wondering what I was even doing here. It was four in the morning and Carson was probably exhausted. Carson sat down up by his pillow and motioned for me to come closer to him. I moved over to him and sat so that my back was against the headboard and my body was brushing against his.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Carson asked quietly.

"I- I can't," I whispered my eyes filling wish fresh tears. "If you want to sleep that's okay... I bet you're tired. I didn't mean to bother you."

"You're never a bother," Carson whispered back. He tucked my hair, messy from the walk over, behind my ear and kissed me on the forehead. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Carson reached for my hand and interlaced our fingers. "We can just be here."

"Okay," I murmured.

So, we sat quietly in the darkness of the early winter morning. Chaos still was in my mind, but it was easier to lie awake with Carson than by myself.



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Author's Note: OMG OKAY 900,000 READS!! This is soo wild to me! I'm so excited! Thank you all so much!! Sorry this chapter took a little while to get up! I'm actually on vacation right now, but I really wanted to post a chapter!! I hope you liked this one!


Also! This was my trip in Jamaica if you want to check it out:

also follow me on instagram: @brittany.p.w!! :)

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