y/n inhaled the north carolina breeze as she stepped on the pavement of her former childhood home,
taking in the setting around her.
"wow, it's been years."
her brother spoke in the same breathless tone she knew she possessed in this moment as well.
when they walked inside of their grandparents home,
smells of homemade food and southern comfort nearly knocked her to the ground.
she missed this more than she realized.
"my lovelies!"
their grandma exclaimed once hearing the door open.
she rushed to her grandchildren and wrapped them up into a tight, welcoming home.
well over eight years ago,
y/n and her brother were forced to move from the island in tow of their workaholic parents.
they hadn't returned until this very moment.
and it was as every bit as blissful as y/n imagined.
"i missed it here!"
y/n exclaimed as she set her luggage in the room,
walking around to examine it in a state of nostalgia.
nothing had changed.
it amazed her how this place challenged the troubles of time;
no matter how much the outside of the world had morphed,
this entire house stayed the same.
after a while of catching up with one another,
y/n and her brother were finally free to roam as they pleased.
and y/n made way to the one place she truly felt happy:
the beach.
exhilaration ran wild in her veins as she felt the familiarity of sand beneath her bare feet,
the shocking strength of the waves,
the tranquility surrounding her. 
everything wrong in the world was no longer now that she remained in the water.
the sun soaked into her grateful skin,
who hadn't felt the beautiful warmth of it since she departed.
the world became nonexistent.
all y/n could focus on was the crashing of the waves that carried her,
the loud birds that hovered above,
and the final feeling of comfort.
"i'll be damned. if it isn't y/n l/n."
she could hear the southern drawl thick and clear.
it didn't trouble her any to place a face to the voice.
her eyes peered open to reveal the blonde headed boy that now hung over her,
his smile big and bright as she remembered it.
"jj!"
she gasped,
hurrying to climb free of the water and into his arms.
she heard him chuckle while they embraced one another tightly.
"how've you been, cupcake?"
he asked once they caught their breath.
y/n watched as he ran a hand through his hair.
"good! the west coast had been good to me,"
she said with a perfect smile.
y/n then realized how he had matured into his facial features quite well.
he was a sight for sore eyes.
"i can tell! you look amazing,"
he spoke while eyeing her body to sell the compliment.
she giggled like a schoolgirl with a crush and shook her head.
"so do you! i see the cut has done you some good."
"yeah, you could say that."
"this is all so crazy. i remember us being kids together,"
she laughed,
the memories starting to rush forward.
"seems like forever ago."
"you're telling me."
jj chuckled before saying,
"remember when we got suspended in the fourth grade for throwing rocks at mrs judy?"
"oh my god!"
y/n exclaimed as she began to recollect the details.
jj had really been the best friend she'd ever had.
how could she have forgotten that?
surely their friendship could survive the test of time.
it had to.
"oh, j, we've got to hang more now that i'm back"
"without a doubt. how long you here for?"
"just the summer,"
she said.
"at my grandparents. do you remember the nights we spent together there?"
"how could i forget? i got ringworm from playing in their backyard with you."
"ew!"
y/n laughed as she pushed his shoulder playfully.
her eyes fell back behind jj's shoulder,
where she could see her brother walking alongside the kook boys.
their conversation had ended for now.
"i've got to go. but, i'll catch you later, okay?"
"yeah, for sure."
y/n leaned forward and kissed the cheek of her long lost best friend.
she then walked past him to be met with her brothers friends:
rafe, topper, kelce, and sarah cameron.
"y/n? there's no way that's you,"
topper greeted as he wrapped her in his arms.
y/n laughed,
feeling welcomed by this greeting,
then hugged him back.
"it's me all right."
"you grew up. you look good!"
topper said while pulling back to gain one more look at her.
the best thing about topper was his innocence towards y/n.
he treated her like one would treat a sister.
"yeah. you look real good."
y/n overheard the words of kelce and rafe,
whose eyes peered their way through her body in a manner of objectification.
it made the girl cringe;
every bit of warm welcoming y/n felt quickly dissipated.
"thanks."
y/n laughed as cordially as she could before turning to sarah cameron.
sarah was practically writhing in anticipation for their greeting.
"hey, girl!"
y/n giggled as they hurried to wrap each other in a big hug.
it should be noted that y/n's position on the island was nothing short of odd.
when she was born and up until the time her and her brother were seven,
they lived in the cut and were practically dirt poor.
just until their father came into a large sum of inheritance that quickly boosted their social status;
they were able to move to the figure eight side of the island.
she had connections to both sides.
although she lost touch with her side to the cut,
especially after ten years of living elsewhere,
that part of her would always exist somewhere deep inside.
"we're having a party tonight. you guys have to come,"
topper invited as he grabbed her brother by the shoulder in a fraternal embrace.
y/n snapped herself from her thoughts to engage into the conversation.
"yeah! please come y/n,"
sarah begged as the wind flew through her silky hair.
y/n couldn't help but stare in a moment of mesmerization.
"we'll be there,"
y/n and her twin brother spoke in unison,
earning a laugh from everyone in the group.
they soon departed from one another,
all going home to get prepared for the night ahead of them.
after hours of rummaging through her closet,
y/n decided on a perfect outfit she knew would make the statement necessary:
that she still belonged here.
"ready?"
her brother asked as he peeked in her doorway.
y/n gave herself one last look through in the mirror then said,
"yes."
and together,
they walked out for a night of fun and trouble.
once they arrived at toppers place,
they parted ways.
y/n went with sarah cameron and her friends,
and her brother went with topper and his friends.
during a game of cup pong,
y/n felt her phone buzz.
she quickly pulled it out to see a text from jj.

"going surfing in a couple. you down?"

y/n set her red solo cup down,
using both her hands to reply.

"can't tn :(
at this party.
tmrw?"

"surfing w us >> partying w them."

"haha very funny.
i'll hang out w y'all soon
promise <3."

y/n returned her phone to her back pocket then picked her drink back up,
taking a large gulp to stifle her nerves.
after finishing her drink,
she suddenly realized how off she felt.
her mouth became dry,
her vision was becoming distorted,
and she was incapable of forming coherent thoughts.
y/n wondered how this happened.
she couldn't have possibly had that much to drink.
her head was throbbing in unison with her heart.
she feared it was going to burst out of her ribcage if she didn't calm down and calm down soon.
she stumbled to the nearest chair and placed her head between her numb legs to gather a moment of breaths.
"you okay?"
the voice echoed.
she slowly looked up at kelce,
a sly grin on his face.
she couldn't tell if the sick look in his eye was his own or her fuddled brain.
she shook her head in response.
it took too much effort to think,
much less turn suspicions.
she could hardly function and kelce was the only available help.
he had no reason to harm her...
right?
"here,"
kelce soothed as he checked his surroundings.
he then draped one of y/n's useless arms around his shoulder and heaved her forward.
"let's get you outta here."
he walked her limp body out of the party as discreetly as he could.
her heart suddenly raced harder in her chest at the thought of kelce slipping a roofie into her drink.
she couldn't breathe;
y/n was on the brink of becoming unconscious.
"b-bathroom,"
she demanded as best she could through slurred words.
kelce looked at her skeptically then with a sigh,
lead them to the bathroom.
when she entered by herself,
y/n stumbled to the nearest stall and locked it.
the cold wall tile chilled her sweltering skin as she slid down it;
her legs were giving up on holding her up.
y/n grabbed her phone and clicked the first contact she could manage.
when the voice answered,
she quickly cut him off,
"jj, i need you to pick me up."
her words hardly sounded coherent to her ringing ears.
"y/n? what happened? where are you?"
she dropped her voice to a whisper as she heard the entering of kelce.
"in the bathroom. they...they roofied me. please hurry."
y/n felt her eyelids become increasingly heavy.
she groaned and put a hand to her forehead,
her phone falling to the ground in a clatter.
"what did you do to me, kelce?"
she mumbled,
feeling sick to her stomach with fear.
her eyes were glued to his feet that were right in front of her stall.
"just gave you a little courage, that's all."
he explained with an evil chuckle,
having no regret for what he had done.
"come on, let's go. you've had long enough,"
kelce spoke before pulling on the door.
"no,"
she cried.
"i-i don't wanna do anything with you."
"not yet, you don't."
y/n could throw up.
she could hear him banging against the stall door.
someone please save me.
she begged quietly.
still having no feeling in her legs,
y/n leaned against the wall and let the tears weld in her eyes.
trapped.
she was trapped.
somehow,
kelce had managed to get her out of the stall and into the night.
the wind felt good against her feverish skin,
drying the tears against her face.
she couldn't figure out how much time had passed.
but as though her prayers had been answered,
she was saved.
"y/n, come on. let's go."
jj who had suddenly appeared,
reached for her,
but kelce's grip on her arm grew tighter.
she winced at this.
"hold on bro, she's here with me,"
kelce protested.
y/n shook her head.
"i wanna go with jj."
"you're lucky i don't beat you senseless then leave you here to bleed out,"
jj threatened in a mirthless tone.
y/n could feel her head swimming.
she swiftly fell out of kelce's grip and into jj's arms.
her legs had given up on her for good this time.
jj took y/n into his arms then spit at kelce's feet,
rushing her to the car he arrived in.
y/n's head lolled against the headrest as jj drove.
she reached over and laid a gentle hand to his balled fist,
whispering a soft,
"thank you, jj...thank you."
***
y/n woke up the next morning with a headache worse than she'd ever expected,
which only worsened when she remembered the events following her night.
she was scarred.
she wasn't sure she could ever be around kelce or his friends again.
thank god for jj.
y/n reached for her phone to see a text from him.

"hey, hope you're doing okay.
text me when you can.
know last night was kinda tuff on you.
much love."

she smiled a genuine smile then replied.

"just woke up.
serious headache smh.
wanna meet for breakfast? :)"

"def. i'll pick you up in 20."
"45?"
"lol okay , in 45 mins."

y/n slowly climbed out of the bed and into the shower,
where she washed away anything left of last night and watched it go down the drain.
she hoped she could rid herself of the fear as easily as this.
as she thawed out beneath the hot water,
she thought about how funny it was that jj assumed she could be ready in less than twenty minutes.
y/n couldn't remember the last time she had taken less than an hour to prepare herself for a night out.
things change when you're introduced to better water pressure.
y/n stepped out and did her hair as she usually did,
soon finding an outfit to fit the theme of breakfast.
she was doing all she could to avoid thinking of the night prior.
she then placed herself in front of the vanity where she applied a light amount of makeup.
when y/n was finally ready,
she examined herself in the mirror for any flaw she might've missed,
then blew herself a kiss of good fortune.
she soon heard a honk come from outside,
which was jj's signal of arrival.
she slipped her shoes on and rushed out the door,
piling inside of the car to see a smiling jj.
"nice car."
"it's kie's,"
jj said with a laugh as he began driving.
"you look good. how do you feel? you know... after last night?"
y/n swallowed hard and turned her attention towards the window to focus on the passing scenery, and not the memory of last night.
she didn't think she could handle thinking of it again without sobbing in fear of what might've been.
"life goes on,"
she finally said.
"pope and i keyed his car today."
y/n turned back to face him and took note of his proud smile.
her eyes widened.
"what? really?"
"yeah, really. he's lucky i stopped there. i swear, y/n, i'd be in jail for years right now if it were up to me."
jj's expression turned grim at the memory,
which made y/n hurry to change the subject.
she leaned over to plant a kiss to his cheek then said,
"thank you for saving me."
"you don't have to thank me."
before y/n could respond,
they were at the restaurant with the best breakfast selection.
when they took their seats inside,
beginning to eye their menus with watery mouths,
jj broke the silence by asking,
"what are you getting?"
"mm, probably just some waffles. you?"
"i'm getting the whole load. eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, all of it."
he laughed to himself then set his menu down,
putting his attention to her.
"that's all you're gonna eat? waffles?"
"it's all i really can eat. too many calories in anything else. not good for the summer body, you know?"
she explained as she sipped her water.
jj's expression changed;
he was staring at her in pure confusion.
"since when did you start caring about what you ate?"
"since i realized it doesn't travel well."
"that's lame. like, really lame."
y/n rolled her eyes playfully then placed her order with the waitress.
"so what's new, hollywood?"
jj asked as he folded his hands on the table.
"not much at all, you?"
"same old. tell me something interesting."
"um.. well, we went on a trip to the bahamas for spring break instead of puerto rico and i was so upset!"
she laughed as she played with the straws wrapper.
"i was looking forward to the bahamas so i was super disappointed."
jj scratched his head as y/n neared the end of her story.
"upset? why-why were you upset?"
"see, i had plans to go to the bahamas but i guess it got lost in translation because then my mom ended up giving me tickets to puerto rico which ruined my plans entirely."
"oh. so you instead of going to a tropical island you got to go to another tropical island?"
y/n noticed his condescending tone and sat back.
"no need to be patronizing."
"just asking. i bet it was so hard going to puerto rico,"
he chided with a soft scoff to end his sentence.
"why are you acting like this?"
"it's just such a superficial thing to be upset about. i get expecting a trip elsewhere, but to pitch a fit about that? not even worth it."
y/n sat in silence before shaking her head.
"you don't know what i've been through, jj."
"oh, whatever, y/n. you've been spoon fed all your life! even when you were living in the cut, you had parents attending to your every need. meanwhile, i was going days without eating and being beat on."
y/n cleared her throat and started to realize maybe she was being a little snobby.
"didn't realize this was a competition."
was all she could mutter out.
she threw the straw wrapper on the table and directed her attention outside.
"its not. i'm sorry. none of that was your fault. none of it."
"i get that i've gotten better opportunities after my dad got his inheritance, but it does not make all that i've been through any less valid. as much as you think money solves all of lives problems, it doesn't. hell, jj, last night i almost-"
she couldn't finish the thought.
y/n began to wring her fingers together in hopes of stopping her rising outburst. 
"no, you're absolutely right. i'm sorry, y/n. my jealousy shouldn't be used to cancel out your experiences."
he continued to apologize while rubbing his hands together in nervous habit.
"i just miss the y/n i grew up with."
"i'm sorry to disappoint you, jj,"
y/n mumbled.
"don't. i'm not disappointed. i just need to recognize growth, y/n. it..it'll take some getting used to, but if it means being able to be around you, i'll do it. you're my best friend. nothings gonna change that."
"yeah...maybe i have become a bit of a barbie,"
she admitted and giggled.
jj laughed along with her then reached across the table and to hold her hand.
"just know you have no one to impress here. i'll always love you."
"yeah. yeah, you're right."
"so we're good?"
jj asked,
his puppy dog eyes tugging at her heart strings.
how could she deny?
"we're good,"
y/n confirmed with a small smile.
"great."
jj sat back in his seat as the food was set in front of them,
but he soon returned to the conversation.
"so, how was puerto rico?"
***

"helloooo !!
where are you?
party tn @ my house ;)
y/n !! wya???
pls reply.
parties are lame without you. :/"

y/n was awoken by the constant vibrating of her phone,
her bleary eyes focusing on the texts from sarah cameron.
"everything okay?"
y/n was startled at the sudden voice of jj by her side,
also having been awoken by her ringing phone.
jj placed a kiss to her shoulder in both a silent apology for scaring her and comfort.
his grip around her waist tightened.
"yeah. it's sarah cameron."

"can't tn. raincheck?"

she turned to face jj and laid a gentle kiss to his lips.
"how are you feeling?"
he asked with a set of sleep still in his tone.
y/n laid her head to his warm chest then shrugged.
"good. really good."
"good,"
jj replied with a caress to her back.
"you should tell sarah what happened at the party. i'm not rushing you in any way, just think she should know eventually."
"i will soon."
"take your time, love."
he placed a kiss on the top of her head.
she smiled gratefully as she began to think about the breakfast date they had that led them to this point.
y/n had abruptly told jj that she missed who she used to be too,
and that she would need his assistance gaining that better part of her back.
he pulled her in for a kiss and dismantled every fabricated part