rafe cameron has had enough.
though he could go on a spiel and complain about where this all began,
he's decided to stitch his lips closed and not speak unless absolutely necessary.
he's using his last words wisely.
he doesn't want to waste his limited breath on those undeserving.
only a few more hours and rafe cameron will be set free.
though he has to admit,
there are a few lingering doubts here.
what if he preserves through this and comes out more successful than he could've ever imagined?
so he decides:

someone please send me a sign to stay.
but what sign?
you need to name something, rafe.
a bracelet with green jewels.
not too rare, not too basic.
if i see it,
it will be for me.

rafe sits up a little straighter at this.
he doesn't know what he will do if this sign doesn't show.
if the sense of rejection will drive him further to release or if the knowledge his existence means nothing will only hurt a little more.
he also doesn't know why he's spending his possible last day alive tucked away in the food court seats of the mall.
"this is the sign you've been looking for!"
rafe picks his head up to stare at the girl who's just announced this.
she stands at a vendor just a few feet away from him,
waving pamphlets that are collecting in many.
he's standing now.
it seems his feet are working when his mind isn't.
"hi!"
she greets with a wave.
rafe takes a look at her name tag and tucks away the beauty of her name.
"hey,"
he says rather distractedly.
"what's your name?"
"rafe cameron."
y/n nods then introduces herself,
giving rafe time to ask,
"what is this?"
the vendor she's running is full of jewelry,
but none looking like the bracelet he now regrets wishing upon.
"it's jewelry. supposed to be selling it but...i'm having a hard time."
her confession ends in a small laugh.
"why's that?"
"you know...people want simple. this? it's too much. and not in a good way."
y/n shakes her head of these words then hurries to say,
"i'm sorry! i shouldn't be badmouthing the product i'm selling."
"i appreciate a little honesty. shows you've got no bias."
y/n looks back up at rafe then laughs quietly with him.
"that's one way to put it."
rafe is almost desperate to keep this conversation going.
he doesn't understand this sudden urge but there's a lot he doesn't understand these days.
why start questioning it now?
y/n is a beautiful girl with words of propriety.
simple as that.
"so...you like jewelry?"
the question is idiotic.
as soon as it leaves his lips,
he wishes he could gather the letters in the air and tuck them away.
instead,
he stands still with a smile of falsified confidence.
"i do, yeah. i make my own."
"oh? really?"
"yep. not-not this stuff, though. here, look."
y/n looks around to be sure her manager with eyes of judgment isn't around before she leans over and pulls out a single case.
rafe holds his breath.
when he expects the universe to give him something to live for,
but then he's reminded:
you are not worthy.
"it's a small little necklace but...one of my newer ones."
rafe doesn't respond at first.
his heart feels sore from this blatant rejection.
but what had he been expecting?
y/n notices this boys blank expression and closes her jewelry box.
she's seen that look before,
only in her own eyes though:
an unspoken ache.
so y/n does what she wanted someone to do so long ago,
when she wore this very expression,
"you want to hang out? figure i should be spending less of my summer inside."
rafe looks up with an empty stare and forces his best smile.
he goes to decline her offer on the account of his earlier plans now being solidified,
but there's something in her smile that makes him say,
"yeah. okay."
y/n wears an even brighter smile,
if possible,
then cheers,
"great!"
rafe nods his head,
still in his saddened stupor,
but y/n says nothing of it.
"i'll meet you back here, okay?"
rafe, again, nods then stalks off to his car in which he arrived to the mall in.
he doesn't move an inch.

never starting the car nor lying back his seat to rest in.
rafe cameron simply sits in his seat and stares at nothing until the time y/n is off.
he doesn't know how to tell her:
i'm a dead man.

the truth is,
y/n has never really been good at anything.
she's never been a natural,
everything she knows has been taught from trial and error.
she is alone in this learning.
from a family of achievers,
y/n is an odd phenomenon.
she is not her brother,
who was bathed in optimistic opportunities since his first breath.
she is not her sister,
who found perfection in the length of her limbs.
or her parents that seemed to sip success from the teat of their mothers.
y/n has always had to try.
in school,
she spent hours hovered over textbooks, notes, and homework only to receive a mediocre grade in the class.
in sports,
y/n was always the last picked because of her decent ability to score for the right team.
though she is great fun,
there is just nothing she excels in.
there is no niche for her to claim,
no ability to show off,
no where for her to fit in.
so she picks up job after job in hopes of being able to find something she both loves and is good at,
but all she really enjoys is the simple pleasure of making her jewelry.
her mother looked at her with kind eyes one night when y/n spoke of pursuing this and said,
"oh, honey, nobody would ever wear that."
her mother claims tough love is the best love,
but y/n feels her tongue can be rather cruel.
y/n doesn't know what it was about rafe that made her reach out the way she did.
if she offered her simple company to every sad soul she came across,
her schedule would be filled day in and day out.
she's calling it chance.
he needs someone to distract him from whatever is sucking the life from him and y/n needs an excuse to stay away from home.
at the sake of sounding like an awful daughter and sister,
y/n hates being at home.
while her family gushes over their accomplishments of the day and of the beauty of their perfect lives,
they lastly look to average y/n and fill her up on sympathy she doesn't need.
so after her oh-so boring job is done,
y/n heads home and hurriedly changes before her sister can shake her head at y/n's choice of outfit.
she slips on her favorite pieces of jewelry she's named good luck,
and even spritzes herself in the perfume she'd been gifted for christmas.
sweet and expensive.
y/n heads back to the very shopping center and waits for this mystery of the man she's stumbled upon.
as she waits,
she begins to second guess herself.
y/n is not famous for her intuition,
so what if she's gotten this all wrong?
but before she can think further ahead,
she sees him sitting as still as humanly possible in the drivers seat of his very expensive car.
y/n carefully walks up to him and waves her hand to catch his attention.
rafe sits up when he sees her and unlocks his car for her to enter.
how long have i been in here?
he wonders.
she's dressed and looking completely different,
somehow more beautiful than before.
rafe hopes he hasn't kept her waiting for long.
when she climbs into his front seat,
he's met with the wave of her light perfume.
is there a single flaw about her?
rafe is being blessed with the greatness of the goddesses,
he's sure of it.
but still...
his death certificate is being printed as he waits.
"you been waiting long?"
he asks when she's comfortable.
she shakes her head.
"just got here. you?"
"nah."
rafe shifts in his seat then turns the car on.
"where to, y/n?"

y/n decided on somewhere public at first.
so her and rafe took a stroll down the length of their city park that's rather larger than y/n realized.
they talked as much as rafe could without feeling the impeding weight of his mortality tighten around his throat.
y/n eased a little in his company and knew he meant no harm.
he could hardly look at her,
much less bring her to a cruel end.
so,
she eventually took his wrist into her hand and led him to the only quiet place this park had to offer.
now,
here they sit on the edge of one of north carolina's most beautiful mountains,
staring down at the people that seem so insignificant from where they sit.
"you look troubled,"
y/n tells him.
there's something about this privacy surrounding them that makes her want to beg for his truths and even confess her own.
rafe is warm in y/n's company,
warmer than he's ever known himself to be.
"i am,"
he admits.

"life can be so cruel, can't it?"
y/n says as she turns to face him.
he keeps his eyes straight ahead.
rafe isn't sure why he can't look at her the way he wishes he could.
maybe her eyes.
how full of life they are.
as though she were born from a seed,
only to blossom into something so lovely.
he doesn't want to promise her something he cannot keep.
so he is keeping his distance as best as his feeble heart will allow.
"very cruel."
"well...whatever it is, i hope you find refuge from it. everyone needs it here and there."
rafe swallows the knot in his throat to ask,
"are you troubled?"
she laughs rather dryly before answering,
"aren't we all? i'm the worst y/l to ever be born."
before y/n can delve further into her statement,
she gasps and points.
"look! an owl! i've never seen one so close."
rafe goes to follow her point but finds himself frozen.
there,
on her wrist,
is the very sign he asked for.
relief swallows him whole and threatens to never spit him out.
when y/n sees rafe's eyes staring intently at her wrist,
she finds herself growing a little shy.
it's her own bracelet.
is he smiling because he's making fun of her?
maybe her mother was right...
"rafe?"
"your bracelet...it's wonderful."
y/n smiles then thanks him.
"can i tell you something insane?"
he asks.
y/n nods,
leaning herself in a little closer to hear him.
"i asked for a sign. weird and a little stupid, i know...but i needed to see if...if i deserved to be here or not. something to prove i should be alive."
rafe rubs at his eyes like this has been weighing heavy on his chest,
and it absolutely has been.
"your bracelet."
"it-it was the sign you asked for?"
y/n clarifies.
rafe answers with the nod of his head.
his eyes are baring through her own.
can he tell?
does he know that he's made her as useful as she'll ever be?
rafe doesn't know why y/n's eyes are filling with tears or why his are beginning to follow in her lead.
but before they know it,
these two near complete strangers are crying from these wounds they carry.
y/n,
through her sniffles and tears,
unclasps her bracelet and wraps it around rafe's wrist.
"isn't this a little girly?"
he teases,
hoping it'll lessen the swell in his throat.
"jewelry hath no gender,"
y/n replies with a giggle of her own.
"let it be a reminder: you are always deserving of life."
rafe stares a little longer at this bracelet then takes y/n's hands into his.
"then i want to let you know that you are greater than your family could ever hope to be."
"you're just saying that,"
she replies,
but she smiles all the same.
"i'm not. i've met them all, y/n, and not one of them has an ounce of your kindness or...or your beauty. don't you see it, y/n? they have to be that way. you are just you. magnificent, lovely y/n."
y/n feels her heart skip several beats.
when she thinks back on it now,
she realizes the truth to his words.
how her sister is forced into doing these very things solely from habit,
how their parents expect her brother to excel day after day;
he is not granted a bad day.
y/n has been the luckiest of the bunch.
she's always been the freest.
"wow...how could i have not seen that?"
"because you're selfless."
y/n doesn't know if that's quite the right word,
but she likes how highly rafe sees her.
so she won't do anything to change his mind.
instead,
she laughs into her hands.
"we're an interesting duo, rafe cameron."
"we sure are."
and that is how rafe cameron became a saved man.
y/n saw this boy so lost in his own storm,
and gave him refuge.
***
y/n can't stop herself from becoming unraveled with laughter.
rafe, too, is finding it increasingly hard to keep himself contained,
especially since their silence is demanded as of right now.
"shh! you're being too loud,"
rafe warns in his most serious whisper that's contradicted by his widening smile.
"well, stop looking at me!"
rafe helps y/n climb safely through his window then stops to look at her when she's still.
illuminated by nothing more than the moons glow,
here she stands in all her beauty.
"how could i possibly stop?"
rafe asks,
still wearing his smile but eyes glossed over with ardency.
this is not the first time rafe cameron has let his lips speak words of praise.
he's found that in these last few months with y/n,
he's grown to love her for all that she is.
of course he does.
he'd be a fool otherwise.
and while y/n knows of his affections,
because he keeps it no secret,
she is afraid.
she has never felt the caress of cupids blessing.
she doesn't know how to love rafe correctly.
so like clockwork,
rafe gifts her words of grace and she accepts them with nervous laughter.
tonight,
it seems they've had too much to drink and are in desperate need of sleep.
now that rafe has offered y/n her daily dose of desire,
he caresses her cheek and waits for her to pull away.
but y/n is feeling the effects of her indulgence.
she does not shy away from his touch.
instead,
she brings his wrist decorated in that same bracelet of hers and she kisses it.
she can feel the pulse of his heart to her lips,
fast and loud;
the same as hers.
rafe's lips are parted slightly open,
as though he wants to speak but words have left him.
"y/n?"
he finally whispers.
his hand has found way to her neck where it rests gently,
caresses being given to her collarbone.
y/n closes her eyes under his touch of simple pleasure and answers him with,
"i've never felt good at anything...but i think i could be good at loving you."
y/n then opens her eyes to stare into his,
finding the stun to be clear in his expression.
"because i don't have to try."
"oh, y/n. every beat of my heart is dedicated to you."
the two don't waste another second.
limbs run numb by intoxication,
they fall into each other with no plans to stop.
y/n falls onto the mattress of rafe cameron and giggles when he nearly falls on top of her.
but he stops himself and hovers over her,
balanced on one hand.
"will you kiss me?"
she asks.
"will you let me?"
"i'd let you do anything to me, rafe."
rafe kisses both of her cheeks then the corners of her lips before whispering,
"the only thing i want to do to you, y/n, is love you until our beating hearts become still."
he kisses her without a moments hesitation.
y/n has never known love to be so filling.
her body was once so empty of it,
she didn't know how starved she was.
and now she'll never have to feel that way again.
she has found the promise of forever in the arms of rafe cameron.
rafe was once a boy who deemed himself useless.
he almost threw his life away.
when he thinks of what might have happened if he has never gone to that shopping center,
never asked for that sign,
never talked to y/n,
a shiver runs down his spine.
everything worked out exactly as it was supposed to.
now here he is,
a saved man being reminded of life's beauty,
gifted to him by sweet lips and an even sweeter girl.
when y/n pulls back in sake of her lungs that know nothing now but rafe's scent,
she stares at his swelling lips and smiles.
together,
they agree that in the chaos of their lives.
they have finally found home.

when rafe cameron wakes up the next morning to find y/n tangled in both his sheets and his embrace,
peace welcomes him with open arms.
this is a life worth living.
i'm so glad we made it here.
but of course,
a twinge of fear crawls up his spine.
the pair had been drunk after all.
what if she comes to and find this is something she regrets?
despite her slurred words promising herself to him,
things are not always what they seem.
this has been a fact proven time and time again in rafe's live.
but all becomes well when y/n shuffles awake and rests a kiss to his collarbone.
"you're moving the bed."
"sorry,"
he says.
rafe hadn't noticed the shake of his anxious leg.
"come on, lover. let's go back to sleep."
and with their limbs entwined in hopes of getting even closer to one another,
that's exactly what they do.