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S c a r l e t

"What the hell were you two thinking! You could have died!" I shouted.

The girls flinched at my tone.

"We thought- you were going to- d-die." Alize hiccuped, more tears rushing down her pale face.

I felt myself soften at her words, knowing how scared they must have felt seeing me like that. Especially with two walkers a couple of distance away.

I don't know what I was thinking in that moment. I couldn't imagine how the girls felt, and the fact that they got out of the car and approached the walkers to save my life, shows how stupid and unreasonable I am. I almost got my nieces killed, and I have no idea what came over me.

I can't do this, I need my mom.

Taking in their appearance, I noticed just how traumatized they were. Alize was pale, and Nya was yellow. I sighed and hugged them again.

"It's okay, stop crying. I'm not dead, just don't do that again. Don't risk yourselves like that again." My voice lowered to a whisper by the end of the sentence because I was close to tears.

If they would have died, I surely would have lost my mind.

That's if, I haven't already.

~*~

After explaining everything that had happened to me, Samantha and I decided to walk out and grab the duffel bags from the car.

As I opened the driver door, I almost thought I'd see my mom sitting in the seat. I blinked, and realized I would never see my mother alive again.

Tears began to well up in my eyes, and I felt a lump grow.

I gritted my teeth, hating the fact I could barely think about my mother without wanting to cry.

"Here, I'll grab two." Sam said, slightly scaring me.

I didn't jump, but her sudden appearance made me reach for my gun. I relaxed immediately when I realized it was only her.

I nodded, and handed her two of the black duffel bags before grabbing the other two. Together we loaded them inside and I heard shuffling outside the door as we did.

I sighed.

I placed the bags in the house right next to the front door before grabbing my knife and meeting the zombie halfway. Because it was now somewhat dark, all I could see was its shadow. It dragged its right leg and limped toward me. Moaning and growling hungrily when it caught my scent.

When it lunged to me, I stepped to the side and kicked it down to the ground. Then I held it down with my boots and plunged my knife into its skull.

After yanking the knife out, I wiped the blood and decaying skin on its clothes before covering my nose with my sleeve because of its horrible stench.

I stood up straight again, and listened to see if I heard anymore shuffling. When I didn't I went back to the car, and closed the trunk.

I placed my knife back in its holder. I walked inside, and closed the front door behind me, locking the bottom and top. I looked around, only to see that Sam had taken the bags to the living room already. I sighed taking my boots off, and grabbing them, trying to find a bathroom.

I need to clean the zombie skin off of my boots. They got a load of rotten skin on them. It's not sanitary or safe for me to wear them without cleaning them.

When I found a bathroom, I turned the knob to the sink, and waited for a couple of seconds. Nothing came out at first but then after about twenty seconds, brown water poured out before clean clear water did. I decided to test my luck and see if the house had warm water like the base did.

It didn't.

I sighed, but held the bottom of my boots in the water, cleaning them, before turning the water off and leaving my boots by the front door.

Then I went to the living room. I found all the kids sitting on the couch, watching Sam dump out the duffel bags quietly. Nobody said a word, I knew we were all emotionally drained from the events of today.

I know I was.

All eyes were on me as soon as I entered the room and kneeled down beside Samantha. I looked at the weapons, ammo, and food in front of us. There was a lot.

I saw that Moses had packed me about several months of supplies of ammo for my honey badger. There was also a lot of ammo for the handguns. I looked at Sam who was holding an Ak-47.

"We packed some guns for us in case the base got run down, Moses and I never thought that-" she stopped herself and shook her head silently.

I swallowed a growing lump, and nodded. We had more than enough ammo, and guns. We knew we were lucky.

I looked at the food supply. We had about twenty cans of corn, twenty small bags of jasmine rice, We had more than thirty cans of beans, Twenty stashes of beef jerky, thirty boxes of protein bars, and sixty water bottles.

It was more than enough. If we rationed carefully, we could live off of this for a couple of months, maybe a year.

Samantha added the handguns we stole to the pile of weapons, before looking at me.

"This can hold us for a while." I told her.

She nodded. "We should worry about a place to live permanently." She informed me.

I agreed. I knew that was first priority, but then I looked at the drained kids. Their small, faces all held grief and sadness.

I heard Adriel's stomach growl, but he didn't cry of hunger, or yell, or anything. He sat, and stared absentmindedly at the floor.

I took a hold of one of the boxes that held the protein bars, and a can of corn.

"Sam go and get enough plates for the kids." I asked her quietly.

She nodded and stood up.

I didn't pay her mind as she stood up and left the room.

I looked up at the kids.

"We aren't going to be able to eat until we are full anymore. For now, we have to eat very carefully." I told them.

Alize and Nya nodded, understanding while Samuel and Alex frowned. I sighed, I hated knowing that they were constantly going to be hungry until a couple of months, until their body's got used to the new routine.

This was going to be hard, I knew that for a fact.

Sam soon returned with plates and cleaned forks, spoons, and knives. She even found a can cutter, and I had to thank our luck.

She put the plates in front of me and handed me the can opener. I handed her a box of protein bars, knowing that each box held at least twelve bars. There was seven of us.

I opened the can of corn, in silence. All the kids watched hungrily, everyone except Adriel.

I grabbed one of the spoons and placed two spoon full of corn onto the plate, beside the protein bar Sam placed on each plate. Once we were done I handed each kid a plate and watched them look at it with disgust.

"I know it's not ideal but it's what we have, so eat." I told them sternly.

They looked at me, but hesitantly grabbed their spoon or fork before taking a bite out of their corn. I took my plate, and Sam took hers.

We all ate and none of us tried to make a conversation. I think Samantha and I mentally agreed that we would discuss our further actions, where the kids won't be able to hear us.

We didn't need them to worry. I think I'm finally understanding why my mother always insisted on having "grown up talks." Without any of us in the room.

Again the tears swarmed my eyes and I felt myself sadden.

I looked up at Adriel who sat on the ground, looking at his plate, that sat right in front of him. I finished up my corn, and grabbed my protein bar before sitting beside the two year old.

He didn't even look at me as I did.

I took him in my arms and placed him on my lap, cuddling him when I felt a cold liquid beginning to soak my shirt. I could feel my incoming tears trying to make an appearance, but quickly stopped them.

I had to stay strong.

I rubbed Adriel's back soothingly, and kissed the top his head.

"It's going to be okay buddy." I told him quietly.

There wasn't much that I could say to help him feel better. He lost his parents, and now his grandmother. I lost a sister, multiple actually, and I lost my mother. None of that was okay. But I wasn't focusing on telling the truth, I just needed to make sure they understood that they didn't need to worry, that I could do that for them.

Adriel soon sobered up, and sat still in my lap. I heard his tiny stomach rumble again and I scooped up a tiny bit of corn from his plate and held it up to his mouth. He looked at the spoon, but shook his head against my chest.

I looked down at him sadly.

"Bébé please eat. If you don't eat, you can get really sick." I told him softly.

He didn't say anything, and his silence only worried me even more. Say something, anything!

I mentally sighed, but I continued to try and pressure him into eating. "Adriel, I know you must be very sad that mama isn't here anymore. I'm very sad too. But if you don't eat you will get so sick you can die. Mama doesn't want us to die so please, eat." I know I probably shouldn't tell a two year old that he'll die if he doesn't eat, but I'm no mother and if scaring him into eating is the way to go, then I'll do it.

I held the spoon to his lips again, and almost let out a breath of relief when he opened his mouth a little. I took that as an opportunity to slip the spoon in. He closed his mouth and chewed slowly before swallowing. I scooped up some more corn so he could eat more, and held it up for him again.

He accepted it.

I wanted to cry from the progress I made with him.

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