4am

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The persistent vibrating of my phone on my bedside table withdrew me from my sleep. My alarm clock indicated that it was only four am and I swore under my breath. Who the hell would be calling me this early? Nola was grizzling quietly in her cot, clearly having been woken up by it as well. I dragged myself across the bed and grabbed my phone, squinting at the unfamiliar number that flashed on the screen. The part of me that was half asleep wanted to put it back and ignore it until a more acceptable hour, but the night before came flooding back and wrenched myself upright, shoving the phone against my ear without hesitation.

“Hello?” I said breathlessly, rubbing at my eyes with my free hand.

“Is this Marnie?” A quiet male voice asked hesitantly.

“That’s me.” I confirmed, my heart racing.

“I’m sorry that it’s so early, it’s just I’ve been thinking about this all night and I couldn’t sleep and I was angry at how everything had been handled and I swear if I’d known  it would never have been this complicated and drawn out-“ he stopped suddenly. “It’s Harry by the way.”

“I realised that.” I blushed. The last thing I’d been expecting to come of this situation was a rambling phone call from a sleep deprived Harry Styles at four am. There was a long pause.

“I’m really sorry,” He said eventually. “They only told me yesterday morning. Apparently I’d participated in a paternity test without my consent and had come up as a match as being the father of your daughter...uh, I mean our daughter.”

“So it was a match then.” I grumbled. Why hadn’t anyone just let me know rather than leaving me in tormenting suspense?

“Sorry?” He squeaked.

“Well I told them I knew it was you but they just wouldn’t believe me,” I explained. “They came to my house, took my daughter’s blood, made me out to be a gold-digger and then didn’t have the decency to let me know the results.”

“Oh,” Harry replied. “I see.” There was another long pause. “I’m really sorry about that. They should have just told me in the first place, I do actually remember you, you know?”

My heart dropped to my stomach. “What?”

“You’re the girl from the bar in Soho. You had that black skirt on-“

“The one you/I spilt bourbon and coke on.” We said simultaneously.

“Yep, that’s me.” I laughed, looking over at Nola’s cot. She’d fallen into a soundless sleep, oblivious to the drama that revolved around her existence.

“You snuck out on me.” He said suddenly, hurt in his voice.

“I didn’t want it to be awkward,” I said quickly, stumbling over the words. “I didn’t go out that night with the aim of going back with someone, especially not you of all people.”

“I really am just a normal guy, you know? I’m not this big celebrity that everyone paints me to be.” I didn’t respond for a while, trying to get my head around this bizarre conversation that we were having about something that had taken place two years ago. I had convinced myself that he’d be too drunk to remember.

“I saw you on tele last night.” I confessed, biting my lip. Harry took a deep breath.

“What? Oh, X Factor. Yeah, I think I was a bit tense towards the end. I didn’t mean to practically bite Dermot’s head off. I laughed quietly at his choice of words.

“I didn’t meant to make you angry, Harry,” I sighed. “I just figured your career was better off without Nola in it.”

“Nola?” He said and for a moment I thought he’d forgotten the whole purpose of this conversation. “Is that her name?”

“Um, yes. I thought they would have at least told you that.” I grumbled.

“They’re a strange, overprotective unit,” I heard him mutter. “But I’m not angry at you; it’s them I’m angry at. None of this should have happened behind my back and I do appreciate you thinking of me and my career when it came down to...Nola.”

“She’s exactly like you.” I breathed. “You wouldn’t think my genes were in her at all.”

“I want to meet her.” He said suddenly. “If you’ll allow it.”

“I want you to meet her.” I said quickly. I’d never imagined that he’d be so eager to see her. “I don’t want you to think that I’m after anything from you though, Harry. It’s not like that at all. I’m perfectly capable of looking after Nola myself, I just wanted you to have the chance to get to know your daughter. I’d like it if she had her father in her life, it’s just the press that I’m worried about.”

“Yeah, they can be exceptionally observant and highly annoying.” He groaned. “You know that I will give you money though. I’m not going to be a dick about this; I want to do it properly. If I’m going to be a dad, then I’m going to be a dad.”

“You are a dad, Harry.”

“That’s what I meant.” He mumbled.

“And like I said, it’s not like that. I don’t need your money.” I pushed my hair off of my face as my heart thumbed erratically under my pyjamas.

“I want to give it to you,” he said sternly. “Besides, we can sort that out another time. I’d really just like to see you both.” My stomach fluttered at how he wanted to see the two of us and not just Nola. I mentally told myself to get a grip and pull myself together. This wasn’t about me. It never had been and never would be.

“Maybe you should get some sleep and we can talk about it when the sun has risen?” I said playfully.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s been driving me nuts. I just had to speak to you.” He sighed. “I go on tour next week, Wednesday I think. Rotten timing, I know. Maybe we could see each other on Monday? God I feel like such a tool.” He was talking so quickly that I was struggling to keep up.

“Harry, it’s fine. We’ll see you on Monday, ok? Perhaps you could come here, it might be better for Nola to be somewhere familiar.” I couldn’t believe I was organising a play date with Harry Styles. “Oh, and please don’t bring Niall. My flatmate slash best friend, Elenore, is in love with him. It’s for his benefit that I ask, not Nola’s.” Harry laughed at the other end of the phone. It was a throaty chuckle that no doubt paired up with the cheeky smile I’d seen so often on the television or the internet.

“Sure thing,” he said eventually. “By the way, the guys know about all of this. I couldn’t keep it from them, not if it’s going to affect their lives too. She’ll be the most spoilt child in the world.” I felt myself panicking slightly at the mention of the others knowing about Nola and I. What would they think of the girl who had kept Harry’s child a secret for two years? There was no backing out now though.

“I understand.” I assured him. “Never in a million years did I think this would happen. I only decided to tell you a few days ago.”

“I wish I’d known before. I wouldn’t have been an arsehole about it, but I totally understand why you kept it to yourself. I don’t exactly lead a normal life which I expect was somewhat intimidating.” I was surprised at just how much he understood.

“Well I think I’ll try and get back to sleep now, you probably should too. Maybe text me tomorrow what time you think you’ll arrive on Monday.” I shimmied down my bed and pulled the duvet up around me.

“Of course. I’m sorry again for waking you up. Well actually I’m sorry for everything.” He rambled. “Sleep well, Marnie. I can’t wait to meet Nola.” And with that the call ended.

I lay in the dark just staring at the ceiling for a long time. That was the most surreal phone call I’d ever answered in my life. I was relieved that Harry was no longer in the dark about Nola, but part of me worried whether he was really ready for fatherhood. The internet had provided with enough information to know that he liked to party and he liked to spend time with women. Was he really ready to give up some of that time for a child who would be entirely dependent on him from now on?

I placed my phone back on the bedside table and buried my face in my pillows.

Why oh why didn't I have protected sex with Harry Styles?

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