Ted: Part 12

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I scooped up some ice cream but couldn't find the motivation to bring the soon to my mouth. All I could think about was how Johan was against me and all I wanted was him closer. It felt so right, kissing him. It made me feel... Complete. But then I pushed him away and now he probably hates me. That thought hurt me inside. Its been 3 days since that one and I couldn't get it out of my mind for the life of me. Tomorrow was Friday and to me the weekend was approaching like a snail. I hated these feelings brewing inside me but all I wanted was to be wrapped in his arms. I fell for him in the course of what felt like a day, I fell for his eyes...I fell for his smile....I fell off the bed.....

I sat up and wondered how the heck I ended up on the floor. It was late, maybe around 8pm so I realized I must have fallen asleep. I groaned but didn't bother to get up off the floor. I was just drifting off again when my mom opened the door.

"Ted? Why are you on the floor?" She asked.

"Its comfortable." I mumbled into the carpet.

"What's going on with you, Ted? You've been acting like you've gone into a depression."

"I'm not depressed." I lied.

"Then tell me what's wrong."

"Can I talk to Dad?"

"S-sure. Let me get him." I heard the sadness in her voice that I won't talk to her but couldn't feel guilty. I just laid there until my door opened again.

"Hey son." My dad said.

I rolled my head over and peered at the door. Mom was hovering. Dad saw my face and looked behind him.

"It's fine Camry." Dad said softly. "I got this." And with a look of regret she closed the door.

"Alright. You want to talk? Let's talk." He said. Dad walked over and held out his hand to me and I sighed. I let him pull me off the floor and I sat down on my bed. Dad cracked his knuckles-a bad habit, he's going to get arthritis-and looked at me expectantly.

"He kissed me." Was all I said. I felt a bit uncomfortable saying this but dad had been in the same...situation.

"What did you do?" He asked me.

"I kissed him back, but then I got scared, I didn't know what to do. I said I needed time and ran." I flopped back on the bed and dad laid down next to me.

"Oh Ted. You're still denying."

"He probably hates me dad."

"No he doesn't. But he won't wait for you to come around forever. He's going to wait for you but if you keep denying it-denying him-he's not going to wait until you're ready. He's going to reject you, even if it hurts him." Dad explained.

I rolled over and put my face against his shoulder and mumbled into the fabric of his shirt: "I didn't want this."

"No one does." Dad said simply. "But its not something that will just go away. Do you want to be with him son?"

"Y-yes..." I said.

"Then go find him. And make him yours." Dad patted my hand then got out of my bed. He walked out the door closing it behind him.

I was left on my bed contemplating what he said. My light was off and the room was dark and warm with lulled me to sleep with my final thought being what I would say to him tomorrow.
*************
Johan wasn't at school on Friday. He wasn't home Saturday, and he wasn't at Cassidy's, and he wouldn't answer his phone. I sighed in defeat after my third attempt at calling him. I checked my other messages and saw that Jake texted.

Jake: Hey man, got plans?

Me: Nah, just gonna chill at home. Come over, I'll get Paul to put on a movie.

Jake: Sure thing. Be there in 1.

I sighed and went to take a shower. Suzie had thankfully cleaned up so I just got dressed and had Paul make snacks and get a movie. I told him to lead Jake to the screening room once he arrived.

An hour later Jake walked in followed by Paul. We did our guy handshake thing and I turned on the movie screen. Jake really wanted to see the Purge so I put it on, even though that movie was really old. He was completely into it but of course my mind had strayed to a certain French nerd. Ten years in America rid him of his accent but he did have a little French charm. The way he said certain things and the way he acted sometimes... it was cute.
Never in my life did I think I would call a guy cute.

After the movie Jake said he'd catch me later and left. He seemed to have fun but I couldn't wait for it to end.

I had shrugged on my jacket and was about to leave when there was a knock on the door. Paul was busy in the kitchen so I opened it and standing in front of me was none other than Johan.

"You've been looking for me?" He asked in a cold sounding tone. Ouch.

"Yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck. "But I never figured out what I would say when I saw you" I smiled sheepishly.

He stood there and didn't say anything which was killing me. But he was shaking and then his eyes got misty and my heart dropped. Almost instinctively I pulled him against me. He wet up my chest with his tears but I can't say I did any better. I was crying into his hair. Yeah, pathetic right? But it just felt so good to hold him against me again. He pulled back after a minute.

"I want you." He said so quietly I almost missed it. My heart felt like it swelled three times and I cupped his hand on my cheeks and pulled his face to mine. I pressed my lips softly against his. He melted against me. I kept the kiss tender and before I wanted to I pulled away.

"And now you have me." I said then laughed. "God that sounded obnoxious. I really want you too. I've been driving myself crazy." I said.

He laughed into my chest. "You're right. You are obnoxious."

I smiled and ran my hands though his hair. Now that I had him I didn't want to let go. With my face still buried in his hair I spoke again. "We should at least move out of my doorway."

"Good idea." He whispered. We broke apart but I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room. We sat on the couch and I put my arm around him, pulling his head onto my shoulder.

"Are your parents home?" He asked timidly.

"No." I peered into his face. His face was red and he sniffed.

"What's wrong?"

"This is just all so weird." He sighed and I understood how he felt.

"I get it. I-I was scared. But I couldn't ignore the feelings."

The silence grew on but it wasn't weird, it was nice. He felt so warm and comfortable in my arms. But all to soon:
"I have to get home Ted."

I pulled him closer. "Aw don't go."

"I'm sorry." He leaned over and kissed me. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I walked him to the door. "Lemme walk you down." I said.

"Its all good." He smiled up to me. Then he walked out the door.

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