ARI

I don't want to feel anything anymore. I want my emotions and feelings to disappear. I wish I could turn my humanity off like they did on vampire diaries. I just wanna be strong again. I want to be that girl that I was when I moved here. I was genuinely happy. I want to go back to myself. I smoked my problems away And I drank my problems away but I need something stronger now. Nothing is stopping my pain. It's all my fault. I'm a curse. Nothing never seems to go right when I'm involved in the equation. It's never good things it's always bad. I just want to be happy. I want to be numb.

My mind raced as I sat in my room alone lost in my own thoughts. At this moment I've cried all the tears I could cry. Tears aren't even falling from my eyes anymore.

"Oh shit, I forgot I took them shits from Marco dumb ass " I ran downstairs to my laundry room to my dirty clothes basket to get the small bag that had one perc in it. I took it from him when I went to granny house yesterday. I found it and took it out my pants pocket. I took it out and swallowed it with nothing to drink.

If this shit don't help me I still got some depression pills in the medicine cabinet. You know what fuck this shit.

I walked to the cabinet and opened it seeing the pill bottle. I dumped the four remaining pills into my hands and grabbed a water bottle out the fridge.

I went to my bathroom and turned the water on in the shower. I took off all my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't even recognize myself. I ran my hands through my hair then I put it in a messy bun.

I took a deep breathe before throwing all four of the pills back and washing it down with my water.

I stepped in the shower and let the water just run down my face and body. I laid down in the shower because I started to get dizzy. I just let the water continue to hit my body and I started to relax. I wasn't feeling any pain anymore and I actually liked this feeling. The pills relieved my pain and i loved this feeling.

I felt like I flying in the air. It felt like I was in a euphoria and nothing could go wrong or stop it.

but then everything went dark and I couldn't move anymore ..

DAVE

I've been trying to be there for Ari but all she's doing is pushing me away. Since she's moved it's been harder to communicate with her since she turns her phone off majority of the time. She really only talks to granny but that's only for a couple minutes a day if that.

I'm really worried about her cause I know about certain shit she went through and I don't give a damn what she got to say she's gonna talk to me. We both loss OUR child. And it would be better if we healed together and help each other through this. That's my lil baby whether she realizes it or not. No matter what, we stuck together.

I pulled up at her house and I peeped her car in the driveway. I walked up to the door and knocked on the door but she never answered. I rung the doorbell and that didn't work either. I checked around on the porch for a spare key and i found it underneath a flower pot on the porch. I'm gonna have to talk to her about that cause then niggas could come in here too since she put it in a obvious place. i put the key in and opened the door.

"ari" i yelled out but nothing.

all i could hear was the shower running and music playing. it sounded like a "in my feelings" type of playlist.

i ran upstairs to her bedroom "ari mammas , im here. i came to check on you but you wasnt answering the door so i just came in"

I walked in her bathroom and saw her laying in the shower with her mouth open a little bit her skin was a little purplish and my heart just broke.

"Ari why would you do this to yourself. You could've came to me"

"Ari can you hear me baby"

I yelled her name and shook her but I got no response. "Shit" I called 911 and told them her address. I stayed on the phone with them until they arrived.

When they arrived they did whatever the did to keep a pulse then they rushed her to the nearby hospital which is Grandview hospital.

I locked her house up and rushed to my car to get to the hospital. I don't understand why she feels like she's alone in this. She has granny, Aileen, and she most definitely has me.

I sped down the road and prayed because I can't lose her. She's important to me and I want to have the opportunity to ask her to be my girl the right way.