I stood their watching as Johanna tried to talk her brother down as we both stood about seven feet apart with guns pointed towards each other. I should've known better than to even try this shit. Love can fuck you up every time.

He stopped talking to Johanna putting his focus back on me, I saw his finger moving as if he was about to pull the trigger so I had to do it first, however we both pulled at the same time as Johanna screamed running in between us causing us to watch both bullets dig into her body as she hit the ground. I ran to her as I dropped to the ground, dropping my gun; this couldn't be happening. Her brother was on the other side of her, eyes widen, distraught from what just took place. "No," I started screaming, "no, no, no."

Tears were running down his face as he called her name, "call the fucking police." I yelled out as I tried to hold back tears. Calling her name wasn't going to do shit. She still had a heartbeat but it felt as if it was hardly there and she was hardly responding to us. Joel quickly pulled out his phone as he dialed them. "Please don't die on me," I whispered to her as I held her body. "Please don't die on me."

—

Joel and I sat in the emergency room on opposite sides as we waited for the news. They had to rush her into emergency surgery but they had yet to give us any details. This shit was sickening.

"She can't die yo." Joel stated with his head in his hands causing me to look up at him. He looked at me with reddened eyes, this shit was taking a toll of him as it should be. It was taking a toll on both of us. "I can't lose my sister man." Tears started running down his face as his eyes stayed on me. "I can't yo." I didn't know what to say to him, we were both hurting and the fact that this shit could've been prevented made it worse.

"She asked me to just dead this beef with you," he started as he shook his head. "But that shit ain't that easy."

"We even." I stated, "everybody got their fair amount of kills, you put bullets in me, I put bullets in you. I been over this shit. You just ain't want it to be that easy. I wanted this shit over before it even started. Killing and all that shit ain't what I'm in to. I'd rather be helping my community than feuding with another one."

He was silent for a minute. "You know how I became the leader of this shit?" He asked as seriousness overtook him.

"How?" I engaged in the conversation, it's clear he wanted to have it. "Because the nigga before me thought he was even with a mothafucka, thought shit was all good and that nigga popped his ass when he least expected it, killing him instantly."

I shook my head. "You do realize that if that's what I was going for I would have did that shit in the park right?"

He shook his head, "nahh, you could've been doing that shit to make me believe shit was even just to turn around and do the same shit."

I shook my head, something was really wrong with dude. " That would've been a waste of my time because that means I would have had to find your ass again. You sound stupid as fuck. I'm not on no bullshit like that. It's been enough mothafuckas killed because of this shit. As long as you would have left us alone, we would've left you alone. You so fucking scared of dying you gon' end killing yourself with the bullshit you do."

He ran his hands down his face, wiping the tears that were still apparent. I got up, feeling like I needed to move deciding to walk down to the vending machine. I didn't want anything, an appetite was the last thing I had at the moment but I remembered it being kind of far and I needed some distance. Once I made it there I saw it was in the cut and no one was around. I took a seat in the area as I ran my hands over my face.

This shit was unreal. We literally went from a date to her being in a hospital fighting for her life. The tears that I held back for so long started falling down my face. I cared for this girl more than I truly wanted to give credit for. Everything about her ran through my mind, her smile, her angry face, her tears. Her lustful looks, the way she fought for us when I pushed her away every time. Her positivity in the worst of shit.I didn't deserve it, but God knows I didn't want to lose it. I just needed the chance to fight for us like she did. I just needed the chance to tell her I love her, a chance to thank her. I needed a chance to talk to her again.

A nurse came over pulling me out of my thoughts, "hey," she smiled as she put a dollar in the vending machine. I wiped my face, turning away from her as I briefly spoke back. "Are you okay?" I could hear the smile drop in her voice. I thought that was a dumb ass question to ask in a hospital, especially when you see a man crying. I stood up, taking it as my time to head back to the regular waiting area. "No." I replied as I started walking, "hey!" she yelled trying to get my attention.

I turned back, actually looking at her for the first time. She was a taller Hispanic girl, body ridiculous. Any other time she would have caught my attention, but now was not the time. She licked her lips before she started speaking, making her way in front of me "I hope everything works out." She reached her hand out rubbing my arm. I looked down at it before looking back at her, "yeah me too" I turned around to start walking again before she stopped me once again, "can I ask what's going on? Like maybe I can check something for you?"

The last part caught my attention, "yeah. Johanna Jones. Can you check the status of what's up with her?"

She nodded her head, walking closer to me again, "of course. She a family member, friend?"

She was prying, "my girl."

"Oh," her eyes widened. "I'll check," she backed up off me a little. "I'll be in waiting room B if you could let me know." She nodded her head as I made my way back. I wasn't going to hold my breath on her coming to tell me. I just hoped the doctors would let us know something soon. As soon as I rounded the corner towards the waiting room we were in I saw Joel getting up heading towards one of the doctors. I ran, hoping and praying it was good news.

"So," the doctor started, "we were able to get the bullets out without them causing major damage."

"So she's good?" Joel asked.

"But she was losing too much blood, once we tried to close up the wounds her vitals went completely down. We tried to get her back but we couldn't."

"No," Joel screamed as his eyes started to water again, "no."

"So she died?" I asked dumbfounded. The doctor nodded his head. "We're sorry."

—

I was distraught for days. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I couldn't even think right. I didn't want to talk to anybody or see anybody. The night replayed in my head, knowing that I helped kill her, killed me. I never gave her a fair chance for us to work, because I was scared of some shit like this happening. Exactly what I was scared of, happened. I was so ready to dead the beef, to end the shit. The more I thought of it, the more I hated her brother. Had he not put us in that situation that night she would still be here.

I felt like I didn't move after her death, until day four, Roberto came over, refusing to let me turn him down. He walked in taking a seat, "man, you not going down like this." Robert was the only one I told what happened, I called him once I got to my car when I left the hospital. I broke down in my car and he witnessed it through a phone call.

I sat there with my hands on my head, not responding.

He got up, opening blinds in my house, turning on my TV to get some sound going. "When the last time you washed your ass or brushed your teeth?" he asked.

I sat there silently still.

He sighed. "Her funeral is today, so are you going to get up and wash your ass and go see her one last time or stay in this nasty ass funk that I'm sure she wouldn't want you in?"

I looked up at him for the first time, seeing he was dressed in all black, "it's today?"

He nodded his head, "how do you know?"

"People talk," I shook my head, I couldn't go. People would look at me like I was crazy and there was no telling what her brother was telling people happened.

"Get dressed." Roberto yelled, "we're going." I sluggishly got up, knowing that part of me had to see her one last time.

We got to the funeral, and we stood out which was expected. We got evil glares here and there and even some sympathetic looks from others. I caught eyes with her brother who gave me a small head nod. I didn't return it, I got a shady feeling about him in that moment. My anger towards him grew over the last couple of days. I knew that Johanna would want me to end all problems with her brother, that's what she wanted in her waking life but I couldn't get over the fact that the only reason this was being held today was because he wanted pop up and pop bullets.

At the end of the service I made my way to the front to view her body before it was taken out, she looked so angelic as she laid there; her eyes closed, looking as if she could just be sleep. This shit had been unreal since it happened, but seeing her in a casket made it real, very quickly. Roberto came up to me, sounding out of breath, taking me out of the serenity I was in by just being by her. "Man, I'm sorry, but we have to go."

I looked at him like he was crazy, "man, they out there plotting on us."

"Who?" I asked.

Roberto pulled me, "man we have to go. It's people saying you killed her."

I shook my head, knowing coming here was a bad idea but I didn't regret getting to her one last time. I kissed her forehead, sending a prayer up as Roberto pulled me again, he took us through the side door of the building, where we were met with Joel and Quez. Both with guns pointed our way, I chuckled as I watched Joel with reddened eyes, stand shakily with the gun in his hand. Quez stood tall, "you gon' kill her and then think you can just walk in here like shit good?" Quez questioned with watery eyes.

I had my hands up as if I surrendered. They were too emotionally distraught to be trying to do this right now. They were too weak for this shit right now. I shook my head, I turned looking at Joel who looked nervous as hell, never saw him so nervous in my life. "You ain't put your boy up on game?" I asked. I should have known he wouldn't have told people what really happened, he was a snake. Even to his own sister. Quez turned, looking at Joel. "What is he talking about?"

At that moment they made it easy for us to pull out our guns, which we did quickly. Robert knocked the gun out of Quez's hand while I easily grabbed the gun out of Joel's while sticking my gun to his head. "Really?" I questioned, "the day of your sister's funeral? Really? When the fuck will you learn?"

Joel looked up at me, tears running from his face. He was so far gone. "You deserve to die," I stated, "but the torture you'll have to live with does so much more justice. As bad as I want to put a bullet in you, you don't deserve the easy way out. Not for all the shit you did." I pushed him back with the barrel of the gun, causing him to fall. "Today was to put your sister to rest and you still had to make it about you," I called out. "One day, for one day you couldn't give your sister the peace she wanted between us." I shook my head as we started walking away with our guns and theirs as we headed to Roberto's car.

"You know this isn't over right?" Roberto asked as we settled in his car.

As much as I wanted to dead it for Johanna, I knew it wasn't. I nodded my head in response, "it's far from over."

Watching friends take bullets and loved ones die you would think it'd make you want to stop, and at first it does. But the more you think about it, it makes you angry, it makes you want revenge. Stories are twisted and flipped. This is why war never stops. This is why opposite sides can never blend.

I know you all probably hate me for this ending because I hate myself for it, like I got myself in my feelings. But I had to it. This wasn't listed as a romance for a reason. But I hope you all enjoyed this book (after you finish cussing me out in your head, haha), and I truly appreciate ALL the support I got on it. Y'all don't know how much it means, I loved reading your comments. But until I write my next book (which will be soon)... xoxo.