Take The Lead

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This ties into the previous chapter which most of you have already read: The Russian Dancer. There's one line that I know you all wanted me to expand on and here it is.

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Carter raised her head from her work as she heard the apartment door lock turn. A teasing smile spread across her face as the door opened and Donovan stepped inside. She tossed her files to the side and leaned back on the couch.

"How'd it go?" she asked, all too eager to make light of the situation. "Are you going to show off your dance moves for me?"

Part of Carter hated the mission to come, knowing what Donovan would have to do. But she wouldn't let it show, she'd bury it beneath humor. After all, this was his job, she couldn't keep him from doing it.

Donovan didn't look at her as he dropped his bag and stepped out of his shoes.

"Will you win me over with how you can move?" She held up her hand but Donovan hadn't even spoken. "I draw the line at you using dancing terminology in conversations. If you do that I won't love you anymore."

"Carter," Donovan said, weary. "Stop. Just stop."

Carter stilled, her smile slipping away. She slowly got off the couch and walked over to him.

"Hey," she said.

Donovan held up his hands. "I'm serious, don't."

Carter studied him, taking in the tension in his body, the crease in his brow, the way he avoided her eyes. All her teasing jokes left her. What could possibly have happened? When she took another step towards him, he stiffened as if preparing for another round of taunting. The reaction made Carter's stomach twist, he'd never reacted to her like that before.

"Donovan," she said.

"Carter, don't."

The strain in his voice gripped her heart. She wanted to ask him what was wrong? What had happened that he'd quickly shut her down. She wanted him to look at her but he kept his gaze away from her. Pushing aside her wants, she kissed him gently. Whatever happened, she was still there for him.

"I'll make dinner while you go shower," she said.

Donovan let out a breath and nodded. Carter watched him slip into their room, feeling a knot of worry form in her stomach. The feeling didn't leave her as she made dinner. When Donovan joined her at the table dressed in sweats, she hoped to see him back to himself, but he remained removed.

"Mason said he has more information on Karina Chevokf," Carter said.

Donovan flinched and stabbed the chicken on his plate.

"He said he could send it over tonight if you wanted to review it."

"No," Donovan said.

"Okay, I'll let him know." She paused. "Donovan..."

Donovan tensed, his whole body seeming to cease up in preparation. She didn't know if he feared her questions or comments but understood that neither would be welcome or answered truthfully. The wall between them stung Carter. Everything in her wanted to break it down. She didn't care if it ended with them fighting, the wall hurt more than whatever could be said.

But when she looked at him and saw the slope in his shoulders and bent to his head, she put away her mental sledgehammer. This wasn't about her.

Not wanting to sit in silence, she filled the apartment with talk of the case she was working on, something stupid Mason had done, and anything she could think of. Donovan's input were one syllables.

But when they moved about each other, clearing the table and cleaning up, she found she didn't have the strength to keep talking. As Carter closed the dishwasher door, she turned to Donovan. She wanted to suggest watching a movie, possibly reading a book. Something that would mean she could be close to him, to physically feel like he was still there with her, even if his mind were somewhere else.

"I'm going to head to bed," Donovan said.

"Are you going to read?" Carter asked. She could just lie next to him.

"No. I'm tired."

He was more than tired, she could see that. But she didn't argue.

"Okay, I'll be in soon."

When he left, Carter rested against the kitchen counter, staring at their bedroom door. She knew the mission was going to be difficult in the execution. For both of them. But she hadn't thought that the preparation for it would be like this though. Before she figured out what she could do, she knew there was one thing she needed to do.

Pulling out her phone, she got all three Keller brothers on the line.

"Please tell me he entered the apartment sashaying?" James opened with.

"Did he have a rose between his teeth and wear one of those hats with the tassels on them?" Clint asked.

"Tell me you got pictures?" Brock said.

"Or a video!" James said.

"You stalked him to the dance studio, right? If you didn't are you really Carter?" Clint asked.

The brother's questions and comments steamrolled into each other, making it nearly impossible to get a word in. But Carter had been part of the family long enough to know how to hold her own.

"Stop! NOW!" she commanded.

The brothers quieted at the harshness in her voice. If Donovan couldn't even handle her comments, the jabs of his brothers would destroy him.

"None of you will say anything to Donovan about having to take these dance lessons. You will keep all jokes to yourself. You will not so much as send him a dancing man emoji. If you do then I will reveal the secrets you don't want the other brothers to know. And you know that I have a few worth sharing. Are we understood?"

A long stretch passed before James spoke.

"Not even a dancing man emoji?"

"No."

"But Carter, he's our little brother-"

"And he is my husband. This is serious and I swear to you if you push me on this you will regret it. Do you understand?"

Donovan shutting her out didn't change what she was. She was his wife and would do what she could to help him. Again another beat of silence.

"We understand," Brock said. "So it's that bad?"

Carter sighed. "I don't even know and that's what makes me worried."

"Then don't let him be alone," Clint said.

"He doesn't want to talk about it."

"Talking and being with him are two different things. Simply be with him."

Carter nodded. "All right. I gotta go."

They all said goodbye and Carter hung up. In their bedroom, the lights were out and Donovan had his back to the door. Even his position seemed to say he wanted to be left alone. But even though he might want it, Carter knew Clint was right, she couldn't let him face this on his own.

She changed into one of Donovan's worn t-shirts and her sleep shorts before climbing into bed. She could tell by his breathing that he wasn't asleep. She scooted over to him. But he didn't react. As she wrapped her arm around him, he tensed as if expecting her to want to talk. But Carter didn't say anything and after a second, Donovan placed his hand over hers. They lay there for a long time. Even though she was so close to him, he felt so far away.

"Carter..."

She pressed her forehead into his back. "It's okay."

Donovan took a long breath but didn't seem to want to release it. Every muscle felt coiled. Finally, he exhaled slowly.

"It was humiliating," he said softly. Carter didn't react, knowing he didn't want her pity. "I have no rhythm... I grew up doing drills. I don't know how to... Trying to do what the instructor wanted was... She said I need to relax but I felt so tense."

Carter understood. Donovan had grown up excelling at everything he did. There never seemed to be a challenge he couldn't overcome. But this, this had seemed to cripple him without even trying.

He sighed. "I have three weeks to be able to learn this." He went silent. "I don't think there will ever be enough time."

Carter said nothing. She wanted to tell him it would be alright, that he would be able to conquer this. She wanted to say a million things to make him feel better. But she knew him and knew he didn't need empty words. He simply needed to be heard. At her silence, Donovan relaxed.

"Thank you," he whispered.

*****

Five days later Donovan walked into the apartment and paused. He slowly took in the low lighting, the music playing, the space cleared in the living room, and Carter standing there in a red dress waiting for him. The dress might have been overkill, but she felt it was needed. Besides, she secretly hoped he enjoyed seeing her in it.

"What is this?" Donovan asked, shutting the door behind him.

Carter held out a hand to him.

"Dance with me," she said.

Donovan's expression darkened. "This isn't funny, Carter. I don't want to talk about this."

Carter knew he didn't. For the past five days, he'd been closed off and barely responsive to conversation. That's why she knew what she needed to do.

"Good," she said. "I don't want to talk either, I want you to dance with me."

Shaking his head, Donovan made to pass her but she stepped into his path. He stepped sideways and she followed. He moved in the opposite direction and she mirrored him.

"See, we're already halfway there, just take my waist and we'll be dancing."

Donovan turned away from her, dragging his hand through his hair. Frustration and embarrassment radiated off him, filling the room with tension. But Carter wasn't going to let it stop her. He needed to learn how to dance and she wasn't going to let him be alone.

"I can't do this," he said.

Carter rested her hands on his waist. "I know. That's why you need me. Trust me?"

Sighing heavily, he faced her. In his eyes, she saw his want to accept but hesitation to do so. If he didn't even want to show her this failure of his, she knew it must be bad. But he'd seen her at her worse times and accepted her. It was time she show him she would do the same.

"We're not going to tango," she said. "That's too complicated, we're simply going to salsa."

Taking his hands, she guided them to her, closing the space between them. In a soft voice, she explained the simple progression. The first step he countered Carter and his chin smacked into her nose. He growled in frustration, but Carter merely smiled and rubbed her nose.

"Again," she said.

She put her hands on his waist, guiding him forward then backward. The dance instructor had been right, Donovan was too rigid and awkward. It was as if his whole body refused to relax. Even talking about loosening up, made him more tense. When he knocked into Carter again, he broke away from her, turning his back to her.

"I can't do this," he growled.

"Yes, you can." Carter held onto his waist. "I need you to close your eyes."

"Carter this isn't going to help."

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

He let out a breath. "Yes."

"Good, now close your eyes." She put her hands on his shoulders. "I want you to remember the first time combat training finally clicked for you. What did you figure out?"

Beneath her hands, she felt as his shoulders eased.

"It was about being balanced as well as flexible."

"Yes. With your eyes closed, I want you to remember that and move through the basic routine."

"Carter."

"Do you still trust me?"

In answer, he punched the air, ducked, spun, and kicked. Each motion was fluid and relaxed. When he stopped, Carter took the spot before him, taking his hands and placing them on her waist.

"Now think of the dance steps like that routine. A quick step to dodge an opponent's attack then step back from them." They moved together, Donovan more relaxed than before. "Now you're stepping in for the attack." He came forward. "Good again."

Over and over, Carter talked him through the steps as if they were a combat routine.

"Now look at me," she said when he was comfortable enough with the steps.

Donovan met her eyes and she saw his vulnerability.

"Don't think about being perfect," she said, placing her hands on his neck, drawing him even closer. "You need to remember how to relax." She smiled teasingly. "And I know you'd never let your dance instructor get this close to you."

Donovan pulled Carter towards him. She felt as he melted into her hold. As he did, he found an even, natural rhythm.

"Good," Carter said. She took hold of his hips. "Now loosen even more. Move them as if you're twisting out of someone's hold."

With that advice, Carter saw as Donovan found the factor he'd been missing. She grinned up at him, taking his hand and placing her other on his shoulder.

"How do you know how to do this?" Donovan asked. "I know you can't dance."

Carter shrugged. "I couldn't, five days ago. But in five days I learned enough to be able to see the connection to combat training and be able to help you."

Shocked, he stared at her. "You took dance lessons to help me?"

"Yes."

"You didn't have to."

She almost laughed at the disbelief in his voice. He didn't understand that she'd do anything for him. He wasn't just her partner. He was her husband. Carter cupped his face, brushing her thumb along his cheek.

"Of course I did. I'm your wife. Your helpmate."

"My helpmate?"

Despite the question, Carter heard the soft tenderness wrapped around the title.

"Yes, a helpmate," Carter said. "It's something Maggie told me wives were. At first, I hated the title, it sounded like a hot mitt to me, something to be used and tossed aside. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood it."

Donovan raised his eyebrows in question.

"The first part of the word: help, implies need. No one asks for help unless they need it. It means that someone relies on you. Would possibly be lost without you." She grinned and Donovan wrapped his arm tighter around her. "The second part: mate, implies a bond stronger than partner. There might be a lot of partners in a person's life, lab partners, work partner. But mate...that's deeper. Wolves mate for life. It means that the connection is lifelong."

Donovan nodded his head appreciatively. "Helpmate. Does that mean I'm your helpmate?"

In more ways than she could ever describe. There were so many times he'd held her when she needed comfort. Told her she was strong when she felt weak. Stood by her side when others opposed her. Loved her when she didn't feel worthy of love.

But Carter smiled, hiding away all these precious thoughts.

"Nope, it's only a wife's privilege," she said. "You as a husband are completely helpless."

Donovan laughed. The sound of it warmed Carter after the silent, shut-down fives days she'd spent with him. The wall between them crumbled to dust. He was hers again.

"But you talked about wolves," Donovan said. "I do believe that males are the alphas. That means I'm an alpha and you're a helpmate."

Carter sighed dramatically. "Fine, if you want to growl at men who look at me and kill a deer for me, I'll accept."

Donovan laughed again and wrapped his arms tighter around her. He kissed her as they moved perfectly in sync and in time to the rhythm. For a long while they remained that way, dancing in the low light, wrapped up in each other.

"Carter," Donovan murmured in her ear.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you." He kissed her cheek. "I'll always need you as my helpmate."

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Hello Monkey! πŸ™ˆ

Go ape if you want and screech about how much you enjoyed the chapter!πŸ’¬πŸ—―πŸ’­

Not going to lie I really liked this one because so many times we see Donovan being patience and loving. He's always there for Carter, supporting her, giving her what she needs. It's nice to see Carter loving him the same way.

I like how as his wife she was ready to do whatever she could to help him. We know her as brave and strong but there's something (to me at least) heartwarming about her being kind and caring.

It's not that she doesn't care, but so many times she jokes, pokes fun, and uses sarcasm to hide deeper feelings. But here we got to see how she truly loves Donovan, to the point she'll take dance lessons just to help him. I don't know, I just liked seeing this side of her.

I hope you did too!

Also couples dancing together is one of the cutest things ever! Have you ever watched videos where older couples dance together? Oh my gosh! So adorable!

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[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

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