It should be known that I hate you. Okay, I do. I really really do. Now let's get on with this one shot that said I was never never ever going to write but wrote because I hate you soon much! Gaaa you're the worst!

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"Donovan, send an extraction team," Carter whispered into the phone. "You have my location, get me out of here."

Donovan sucked in a breath on the other line as Carter's heart hammered away in her chest. As she heard approaching footsteps, she clutched the phone harder.

"Donovan," she said. "Do it."

Donovan let out the breath. "You know I can't."

Carter closed her eyes, cursing him in her mind. "I never loved you."

"Carter, you're going to make it through this. You can do this."

Carter shook her head. She couldn't. She knew she couldn't. She could face anything else but this. In all her time at the FBI this might be the one thing that broke her.

"Carter," a soft feminine voice said. "Are you changed yet?"

Swallowing down her panic, Carter opened her eyes. "You know, I realized I forget to pack a bathing suit. Sorry."

A soft laugh emanated from the other side of the changing stall door. "Oh no worries, I brought extras, I'll go grab you one."

The footsteps retreated and Carter pulled at her ponytail in frustration.

"I know you forgot your bathing suit on purpose," Donovan said, still on the other line.

"Yes, well I thought the plan would work. You know I hate you. And I hate that you have brothers."

"You're going to be fine. You've faced mobsters more terrifying than my brother's significant others."

"You know I really don't think I have."

Donovan laughed but Carter wasn't joking. Taking down a drug ring seemed like a walk in the park compared to what she had to do, who she had to face. Letting out a breath, she leaned her forehead against the pastel-painted wall.

"I really can't do this, Donovan," she whispered. "I'm out of my element."

Donovan's amusement vanished, hearing the sincerity of his wife's admittance. "Look, if you really can't do this then I will find a way to get you out of this."

Of course as he offered up the one thing she wanted, Carter knew she couldn't accept. The women she was about to face would be in her life for a long time and avoiding them now would make no difference. She had to face them.

"I hate you," she said.

Before he spoke, Carter could picture Donovan's smile. "I figured that would work. Now go have some fun girl time. When I see you next I plan to see your nails painted."

"I'm divorcing you after this."

"Love you too."

As Carter hung up, Ashley returned. "Here you go," she said, holding an orange bikini over the top of the door to the changing stall. "Just put it on along with the white robe hanging up and meet us outside."

"Great, thanks," Carter said, amazed her teeth weren't gritted.

Sighing, Carter changed and stood before the mirror. Though the bikini worked with her soft tan skin tone and she was fit, that wasn't what she saw. All she saw were the scars that marked her body.

The place on her side where her broken ribs had healed differently. The white line along her stomach from a knife wound. The star-shaped scar on her shoulder where she had been shot. All the things that said she didn't fit in with the women she was going to spend time with.

Lifting the robe off the hook, Carter pulled it on, grateful that it covered up the history of her life. After folding up her clothes and putting them away in a locker, she left the changing room and entered the foyer to the spa.

A fountain in the middle of the room trickled peacefully as if telling all around it to be calm. But Carter didn't feel calm because across the room stood her companions for the day. Though they all varied in shape, skin tone, and hair color, they had two things in common, they were beautiful and intimidating.

James' two-year-long girlfriend, Ali was the CEO of a tech company she had started. Clint's wife, Eva was a top therapist who had two papers published in the science journal and ran her own practice. Brock's fiancé and the reason they were all there that day, Ashley ran her own luxury hotel.

Carter was out of her element. Before she could think of making a run for it, Ashley spotted her and waved her over. Tightening the sash on the robe, Carter joined the group. Ashley beamed at them all.

"Okay, I know this isn't normal," she said. "But I really wanted to spend time with you all before the wedding. Eva and Carter and I will practically be sisters and we all know Ali is not far behind."

Ali laughed, the sound musical. "If it was up to James it would never happen but don't worry, I didn't build my own company to then wait around for my lovable idiot to take his sweet time to make it official."

Eva grinned. "When I first met James I knew he was going to have to find a strong woman or he would never be happy. Seems he did."

Ali bowed her head in gracious acknowledgment. "Thank you. Now! Let's get this day of relaxing on its way!"

"You read my mind," Ashley said, hooking her arm with Ali's.

Side by side they were polar opposites, pale and dark skin, blonde hair and black, light and dark eyes, but their smiles were the same, friendly and open. Together they led the group towards the saunas.

As they walked, the girls kept up a constant stream of chatter finding all manner of topics to exchange. Carter spoke little. It was as if she were back in high school surrounded by the girls who had grown up with mothers and taught them all they needed to know.

Except here she couldn't make a rude comment to hide the fact that she was completely overwhelmed by them.

As if sensing this, Eva smiled at Carter. But this was worse. This woman knew her occupation and being analyzed by her brother-in-law's wife was not something she could handle. So instead of being questioned, she led the questioning.

"I read your paper on the development of children's brains and how imagination plays into their ability to handle bigger issues later in life. It was fascinating."

Eva beamed under the praise, her dark complexation glowing. "Thank you. I'm pleased you read it. I know that some of the topics I talked over were a bit complex."

"I wouldn't have thought so, you explained everything perfectly. What made you decide to follow that line of thought?"

At home in the subject, Eva talked without barely taking a breath, which meant Carter was safe. Her life and her insecurities were out of the line of fire. By the time they reached the saunas, Eva had poured out half of her life's work onto Carter, who didn't mind. Though it did prove that this woman was intimidating.

When Ashley opened the door to one of the saunas a cloud of steam rolled out, washing them in heat. They hung their robes on hooks outside and slipped into the hot room. To Carter's relief, the stream was thick enough that it was hard to see. Her scars wouldn't be noticed. Carter settled onto the soft wooden bench in the corner, Ashley and Ali taking one side while Eva took the other.

"This is what I needed," Ashley said, leaning her head back and breathing in the heat.

The other two girls murmured their assent. Carter was already sweaty and didn't understand how this was supposed to be comfortable. After a minute where they all adjusted to the room, Ashley lifted her head and gazed around the group.

"Alright," she said. "Let's get to the real talk."

Carter had no idea what that meant. She thought all of it had been real talk. On the way there Ashley and Ali had covered topics ranging from the stock market to change in fashion trends to customer complaints.

"I want to know how you've managed to handle your Keller brother," she said. "Brock and I got engaged relatively quick and so I know that there are still things I need to learn, that's why I want to ask the experts."

Eva gave a soft laugh. "Well, after three years I would say that I've come to know Clint's ins and outs. But I also know that as far as Keller brothers go, he's more in touch with his emotions and so doesn't struggle with voicing them as I know the others might."

Ali let out a groan of annoyance. "Getting James to tell me what he's feeling is like building a computer form scratch except you don't have all the parts." She shook her head. "Honestly, he would more easily go jump off a building if I asked him than tell me what he's feeling."

Carter laughed, knowing that was true for James. "That sounds like him."

Ashley nudged Carter's arm. "What about Donovan? Is he all closed up like a clam?"

Crossing her arms, Carter sank back against the wall. "Sometimes. But honestly, we've been married so long that I know what he's feeling without him telling me. I can sense where his thoughts are. I understand what certain silences mean. So asking him what he's feeling isn't a challenge when I can read what he's feeling."

"I envy you," Ali said, huffing.

"I don't know Clint as well as that," Eva said. "But I wish I did."

"Same," Ashley said. "Sometimes I know what Brock is thinking and other times I'm lost at sea."

Carter felt her shoulder relax.

"Okay," Ashley said, pulling her long blonde hair over her shoulder and braiding it, a thing Carter could do but with messy results. "What is the most romantic thing your Keller brother has done for you?"

At this Ali grinned and rested her chin in her hand. "I will say, James, isn't afraid of being romantic, so that definitely makes up for his other failings. For our first anniversary, he covered my apartment floor with rose petals and cooked dinner for you. Surprisingly, he's an amazing cook."

All the girls made appreciative noises and Carter smiled, remembering how Donovan had been roped into helping James cook for the occasion while Carter had spread the rose petals.

"Clint surprised me by flying out to a conference I was part of in Florida and taking me out to dinner on a yacht," Eva said.

"That is romantic," Ashley said. "When I was back in San Diego, Brock took me on a picnic on the beach. We spent the whole night there staring up at the stars."

When all eyes turned to Carter, she froze. When it came to romance Donovan hadn't ever done the grand gestures like picnic's on the beach, dinner on a yacht, or rose petals everywhere. It wasn't his style and Carter wasn't sure she would enjoy it, which was probably why he never tried it. Their romance was simple.

"Come on, Carter," Ali said. "What is the most romantic thing Donovan has ever done for you?"

Though it was nothing like the events the other girls mentioned there was a moment that stuck out from everything.

"It's not what you would call romantic really," Carter said. "But it's what was romantic for me. About a year ago, we had been working undercover and our covers were blown. We were taken."

The girls all let out small gasps. Which made Carter pause, wondering if she should go on. Eva nodded and so Carter did.

"We were both strapped to chairs and the boss had a gun pointed at my head.

"The air went still as if everyone had stopped breathing. "And Donovan shouted at the man to kill him instead of me. To take his life, not mine."

Carter stared off, picturing the whole scene in her mind. "There was so much desperation in his voice as if death wasn't the worst thing, but seeing me with a gun to my head. All he wanted was to exchange his life for mine. That was pretty romantic."

When she blinked and looked at the girls, she realized there were staring at her in stunned silence. Carter gave an awkward chuckle. "It seems I should give him some ideas on how to be more romantic. I liked the thing with the beach, that sounded nice."

Ashley smiled but there was a look in her eyes that Carter couldn't quite understand. Clearing her throat, she clapped her hands together.

"Okay, now I want to know about date nights. What do you do and how often do you usually take date night?"

Again Eva and Ali shared stories about what the did, which were all common and normal. Dinner, movie night, clubs, dancing. The most extreme one was when Clint and Eva had done an escape room. Carter almost laughed at that because it was technically close to the last date night Donovan and she had shared.

"What about you, Carter?" Ashley asked. "What was your last date night?"

Carter found herself trapped because their last date night was...something and the ones before that were almost nonexistent. She was seeing a pattern with Donovan and her relationship and decided after today they needed to do something normal.

"It's wasn't a great one," Carter said, not sure if she should share.

"Oh tell us," Eva said. "We're all curious and it can't be worse than Clint's and mine scrabble night."

"Okay then," Carter said. "The last date night we had, we spent it in the trunk of a car."

"You're joking?" Ali asked.

"Nope. We had finished working for forty-two hours without sleep and it impaired our senses and we were jumped, drugged, and stuffed into the back of a trunk."

"How did you get out?" Ashley asked.

"I had a knife sown into the back of my sports bra. We cut the ties and when the men came to get us...well, we handled that."

Carter nodded at the shocked expressions around her. Yeah, she and Donovan needed to do something more normal.

As time progressed, Carter got more comfortable with the girls, but at the same time realized how vastly different they were from her. She had already known this, but somehow talking about their experiences made it glaringly obvious.

When they all decide that they'd had enough of the sauna, they stepped out into the cool air, sweat sliding down their skin. As they went to grab their robes, the girls all stopped, finally able to see Carter. Carter snatched her robe off the hook and quickly put it on, hiding her body. But it didn't matter, they had seen her scars.

"It's crazy that it's all really true," Ashley said, shocked by the evidence.

Carter gripped the sash, wanting to run away. "Yeah, it's all true."

Ali stared at Carter, her hand over her mouth. "How are you not scared to go back out there after what you've faced?"

"Because," Carter said. "There's something more terrifying than what I could face."

"What," Eva said as if she couldn't imagine there was something.

Carter took in a breath and let it out. "Waiting at home."

All three girls exchanged looks, then focused back on Carter, their eyes all showing the same emotion, understanding.

"How do you handle it?" Ashley said, softly. "How do you cope with knowing that he could be in danger and you can't do anything?"

"How do you deal with the worry?" Eva asked.

"How do you not lose yourself in thoughts of 'what ifs'? Ali asked.

Carter looked from each girl and realized that though they were all so different in so many aspects that here was where they were connected: they were all in love with a man who put himself in danger. Right then she didn't feel out of place standing among them.

"You know that he has a reason to make it through safely," Carter said. "Because he's working as hard as he can to come home to you."

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🤦🏽‍♀️🤚 Stop, just give me a minute...

🙄 Okay, I'm going to need more than a minute to come to terms that I've lost all control over what I write for one shots.

I said no so many times, that I was never going to write this...yet HERE WE ARE! 🙈 Just leave me to my misery.

Better yet, comment and make it worse by telling me you actually liked it. 💭💭💬💣😭

*sighs* okay. I did find it interesting how Carter still feels insecure. 🤦🏽‍♀️ But I'm not admitting anything else. I've lost too much today.

Heads up! If you missed the Instagram Live Chat where I talked all about A Secret Service you can still watch it.
I posted it on my IGTV. My Instagram name is: Joymoment

Also for a Kennedy update watch the second video titled My Ramblings minute 3:40.

Vote, comment, follow because I have done what you asked for master. 🙇‍♀️