Aftermath (Part 4)

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You have to read the previous chapter for this to make sense.

Also if you are at all emotional or sad DO NOT READ THIS!! It will only make it worse, this is not a light chapter but I enjoyed writing it anyways.

Tissues and ice cream are advised.

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A scream pierced through Donovan's sleep and he bolted up, swinging his gun towards the door. The room was pitch black and he blinked, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. There was no attacker waiting for him though. Shaking the sleep from his mind, he lowed his gun, it was then he realized where the noise had come from.

Beside him, Carter was twisted in the sheets, her fingers clawed around the blankets. Setting his gun down on the nightstand, he flicked on the light. Carter let out a whimper, her face twisted in pain. Donovan pushed back the damp hair from her forehead.

"Carter," he said. "Wake up, it's a dream."

She jerked to the side and Donovan gently shook her.

"Carter, wake up," he said louder.

She twisted again, fighting something in her mind. Donavon cupped her face.

"Come on, Carter, wake up!"

His voice cut through and her eyes shoot open, terror clouding them. He caught her wrist as she lunged for his throat, her fingers curled as if she were going to rip out his jugular.

"Hey," he soothed, "it's me. You're okay. I'm right here."

He pulled her into his arms, cradling her against him. Her entire body was shaking and she buried her face into his shoulder, her heart racing as if she had been running for her life.

"It's okay," he whispered, smoothing her hair.

She said nothing and he felt the hot trickle of tears on his skin. Right then, Donovan knew someone breaking every bone in his body would be hurt less than the pain of Carter crying.

Eventually, she stopped trembling and her breathing fell back into a deep, even rhythm. Though he was exhausted, Donovan couldn't find sleep again. Instead, he listened to the sound of Carter's breathing and held her to him, trying to reassure himself that even though she felt miles away from him, she was still there.

**********

When the morning dawned, Donovan came awake like someone was trying to bring him back to life. A weary ache in his bones made everything heavy. He rubbed his eyes, banishing the fog in his head.

When he twisted his head to the side, he found Carter was awake but didn't seem to notice that she was. Her eyes were glazed and she lay motionless, her body curled as if still trying to protect herself from blows that had stopped coming long ago.

"Hey," Donovan said, brushing her hair behind her ear. "How are you doing?"

No reply was given. Leaning forward, he gave her forehead a gentle kiss.

"I'm going to go make breakfast, want anything special?"

Dead silence was all that followed. Letting out a breath, Donovan climbed out of bed. After pulling on a pair of sweatpants, he grabbed his phone and headed out. At the door, he glanced back, Carter hadn't moved like she was made of stone. Feeling his heart sink in his chest, he went to the kitchen and started the coffee. As it was gurgling, he made a call.

"How is she?" Steve asked.

Donovan leaned on the counter, exhaustion slugging through his veins.

"We're almost at the end two weeks since she's been out of the hospital but she's not said a word," he said. He ran a hand down his face, feeling the stubble rough on his chin. "She wakes up screaming and I hold her until she falls back asleep."

Carter's father gave a pained sigh. "I know we decided that just letting her heal and giving her space was best, but I think it's time to have her talk about it."

Nodding, Donovan looked to the bedroom door. "I think we need to."

"Do you want me to come over?"

Donovan thought about it. Behind him, the rich scent of coffee permeated the air. He rose from the counter.

"No, I think it's best if I try to get her to talk alone. If I need you, I'll call."

"I'm here for whatever you need, don't hesitate."

"I won't, thank you."

They exchanged goodbyes and Donovan hung up. For a long while he stared at the counter, his shoulders hunched. Fighting off a wave of grief, he moved around the kitchen making breakfast. Once finished, he carried everything back into the bedroom on a tray. Carter hadn't moved. When he set everything down, she finally managed to look at him. There was a lost look in her eyes that was now constant.

As she sat up, Donovan placed pillows behind her. When he gave her a plate of food, she took it but it was his encouragement to eat that made her actually take bites. Her movements were wooden like she wasn't truly aware of what she was doing. Donovan forced his own food into his mouth, knowing that he needed the energy to take care of her, but felt as if his stomach were a twisted coil.

After Carter ate all that she was going to, Donovan set the tray on the ground. For a moment, he stared at her, trying to find the woman that he knew so well. But there was a cloud in her eyes that kept her from him. He edged closer to her.

"Carter...I think it's time you talked about what happened. I know it's hard but-"

The rest of the words were stolen from him as her mouth crashed into his. Her fingers dug into his hair, keeping him locked in her embrace. Donovan knew she was doing it to avoid talking, but he ached so much to be close to her again, to connect that he kissed her back and gathered her into his arms.

************

Afterwards, Carter laid curled next to Donovan, her head resting on his chest. When he glanced down, he found her eyes closed, finding solace in sleep again. He watched her, the way her eyelids fluttered, the tension gone from her face.

The minutes stretched on and Donovan felt like for a moment he could believe she was returning to her old self, but then she gripped his arm as the dream took a dark turn and he tightened his hold on her. The disturbance passed and she relaxed against him again.

Though he wanted to let her sleep, he knew that the prolonged form of escape would only hurt her.

"Carter," he said.

As if she knew what he wanted from her, she twisted away and hide in the blankets. With a weary breath, Donovan swung his legs off the bed and buried his head in his hands. He twisted back, looking at the small mass that was his wife. His heart throbbed with the chasm stretching between them.

Deciding to let her sleep, he showered and dressed. With one final look at her, he took his phone and stepped out of the apartment. Finding solitude in the stairwell, he sank down and made a call.

"Mom?" he said.

"Hey, sweetheart. How is she?"

Donovan dropped his face to his hand. For the first time in his twenty-eight years of life, he was completely helpless. His wife was drifting away from him and he felt powerless to bring her back. He couldn't bear her pain for her and it was the only thing she was keeping to herself. She was trapped in her mind and it was no longer a place where he was welcome. Where once her thoughts had been open to him, was now closed, barring him.

Donovan clutched his head, fighting the crushing pain of inadequacy.

"I don't know what to do," he said, clenching his fist against his weakness.

"She's still not talking?"

Donovan shook his head. Even without seeing it, his mother knew the answer in his silence.

"How did trying to get her to open up go?" his mother asked.

"She used physical connection to avoid the subject."

His mother hummed in thought on the other end of the line.

"More than getting her to talk about it, you need to get her to remember who she is. What happened to her was more than kidnapping and abuse, it was the complete destruction of Carter's world and way of life."

Donovan said nothing, letting his mother talk, absorbing the words.

"All of her life Carter has been in control, there hasn't been a problem or situation she couldn't talk or fight her way out. Three weeks ago she was faced with mortality as well as helplessness. She doesn't know how to move forward because she can't remember who she was before. You need to take her somewhere, do something that reminds her, that despite the setback, she is still a strong, capable woman."

His mother sighed, a sound that was heavy with years of experience and pain overseeing the struggle of others.

"She's so determined and headstrong we sometimes forget she is still young. At twenty-four I was only just realizing who I was. You need to help her remember. Only then will she be able to face what happened."

Donovan felt a spark of something like hope.

"Thank you," he said, rising.

"Of course, call if nothing changes or you need to simply talk."

"I will."

After goodbye, Donovan walked back to the apartment. He grabbed clothes from the closet and moved to the bed. Carter was still tucked beneath the blankets. Tugging them aside, he knelt down.

"Carter," he said.

She blinked and looked at him. For a second he thought he saw a flash of clarity but it quickly faded.

"We're going to go somewhere, okay."

She gave no response. Pulling back the blankets, he aided her in sitting up. As he helped dress her, he tried again not to focus on the bruises that covered her side, or the way her body was thinner, her ribs too distinct.

As he bent down to tie her shoes, he felt her fingers running through his hair. He looked up and her gaze met his for a brief moment. His Carter was still there and he was going to help her come back.

Standing, he dragged his hand through her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail. He was tying it back when he felt her grip the front of his shirt. The small gesture nearly tore his heart in two. She still needed him and he was going to do whatever it took to help her.

In the car, she barely seemed to register anything around them, but some part of her was stirred by the flashing scenery. Donovan's attention darted between the road and her, taking in every shift.

As they turned into the gun range parking lot, he saw her lift her head. At the counter, he bought five clips. The concrete building was silent, the pair the only visitors. Donovan loaded the gun and placed it in Carter's hand, closing her fingers around the hard metal.

"Look at me," he said, cupping her face. "You are not weak. You are fierce, determined, stubborn, and strong. You need to fight this, cause I'm not strong enough. I need you."

Carter stared at him and he could see as the words wormed their way past the barrier in her mind. Nodding, he turned her towards the target sheet.

"Now shoot the men who did this to you," he said. "Show them that they can never hurt you again."

With Donovan guiding her arms, Carter aimed the gun at the silhouette. For a second, she did nothing, the gun wavering.

"Fire, Carter," Donovan commanded.

She pulled the trigger and the walls rang with the crack of the bullet. The shot went wide but the second was closer and the third even closer. As she fired shot after shot, Donovan stepped back. When one clip emptied, Carter released it, loaded another and fired again.

It was on the third clip that she started screaming. The cry was ripped from her throat like it had been trapped there forever, choking her day after day. The fourth clip came and went with the same release of pain, the sounds colliding and ricocheting around the space. By the final clip, every bullet hit the mark and her voice was raw.

Shaking, she lowered the gun and turned around to Donovan. Tears were racing down her face. He pulled her into his arms and she hid her face in his chest, her weak arms clinging to him like she would drown without him.

When the tears stopped, she raised her head. Though red, her eyes were clear. Even with the sorrow that was still prevalent there, Donovan knew His Carter was back.

"Let's go home," she said. "I'm ready to talk."

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So...hi.

Kinda depressing, right?

Look! I'm sorry, I warned you, it's not like I said 'oh this is just a fun breezy chapter go ahead and read and feel happy!' I told you it was emotionally scarring.

Okay, even though it was sad and all that, what did you think?

I liked writing this because it was so interesting to take a strong character like Carter and break her. Wow, I sound like a vicious, evil person. But come on, doesn't this make it more interesting to you too?

I mean Carter is human, she's not some superwoman who can do it all. I like knowing that she's vulnerable and has rough times. Okay, so her rough times come after being kidnapped and beaten to a plump but still it did effect her instead of her being able to bounce back.

I don't know if you liked this, it was intense. Either way thanks for reading! ❤️

Also continuing on the topic of diversity from the previous chapter, I'm happy to announce 🎺🎺 Maggie is officially Hispanic! And Maddy is Asian!

I updated the cast list in A Secret Service so go check it out and let me know what you think for who I picked!

I love knowing I can count on you for feedback! Thanks for being wonderful! ☺️

I would tell you to vote, comment, follow but this was so sad and not at all cheering that I'm not sure I deserve it.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net