(Gold Rush by Ed Sheeran; Three thousand words of pure fluff, enjoy.)

TWENTY-FIVE: when he comforts you

It was late in the afternoon when I woke up... there was a constant thump in my ears and my head rested on something firm. I wasn't sure when exactly I'd dozed off in between Paul running his hand through my hair and whispering things but I felt comfortable.

I felt serene as I counted Paul's heartbeats, wrapping my arms tighter around him and pulling myself closer. I felt a change in his breathing and that was when I was aware of Paul waking up. I felt his shift around before reaching over to his bedside table and when I looked up, his glasses were on his face and there was a lazy smile accompanying it.

His eyes were adjusting to the light in the room as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, a few of his curls flattened to his forehead and suddenly, I wanted to fix my appearance. I felt his hand in my hair again as he spoke, voice groggy and so attractive it made my knees weak, "Good morning."

I felt a smile spreading across my face and cleared my throat before speaking, laying my head back down on his chest and welcoming the comfort, "it's not morning."

"Feels like it." His hand combed through my hair as he shifted slightly and I just knew his eyes were on me, "Feel any better?"

I'd momentarily forgotten about my problems but with that question, they came swarming back and I sighed. I did feel better, I felt less weak but it still upset me, "Yeah. Thank you for that, Paul."

"No problem, you seemed really tired..."

I tried to relax to the beat of his heart, his hand stroking through my hair once more before resting on the back of my neck and drawing circles there. I could hear the hesitancy in his voice as if he didn't want me to snap as he spoke, "Wanna tell me what happened?"

I had to tell him though, I couldn't keep everything bottled up only for my to resort to violence or take my anger out on Paul later. Placing a kiss on his collarbone, I say up straight, Paul resting higher on his headboard and I could feel his eyes on me.

Rilee wasn't in the room which seemed to be a reoccurring thing these days and I was thankful. I don't think I'd be able to open up around Paul if she were there. I concentrated my eyes on her empty bed and wrinkled sheets, my voice coming out soft, "Ben got really mad and tried to fight him... they didn't though because, you know, teachers."

I felt Paul's hand on my back before it shifted to clutch my bare shoulder, "He got pulled out and it was just me and Calum."

It was stupid and I felt completely and utterly lame as I thought over how my day had went. Sighing, I felt Paul lean forward, pulling me back by my hips until I was laying back on him and his lips were on my neck.

He wrapped his slightly-defined arms around me, "Did he say anything?"

I felt dumb as he placed a soft, comforting kiss on my neck, "He tried to talk to me but I ignored that... um, we had to be silent afterwards but he kept staring at me. He acted as if he cared about me again, Paul and that just freaked me out..."

And I attempted to laugh it off, "I sound stupid for being freaked out over it, don't I?"

Paul didn't take kindly of my talking down to myself as he shook his head, talking softly onto my skin and a shiver ran up my spine, "Hey, it's not stupid. You're just a little scared and that's okay. But I'm not letting you get hurt again."

I recalled how many times someone had told me that and broke it. I'm not letting you get hurt. I'm not letting you get hurt. I'll always be there for you. It all sounded like a lie.

"You've said that before."

"And I mean it," he promised as my hand came up to rest on one of his, pulling the comforter over us as it was clear that we just planned on staying in his bed for a couple hours. It didn't matter to me, I was content with just being around Paul and I like to think he was content with me.

I bit the inside of my cheek, "I can protect myself."

"I know," he nodded, hand lacing in mine as he twined it around my waist instead of my shoulder. It were as if he was hugging me from behind as we laid down and despite it sounding uncomfortable, I enjoyed it, "I'm sorry, I just really..." Care.

And I somehow believed that.

"It's okay," I shrugged, trying to change the subject. The topic was getting too deep, the conversation too real so with my head tossed back and Paul littering kisses up and down the incline of my neck, I spoke, "so... Next video?"

He paused, squeezing me loosely before kissing behind my ear, "Oh. We don't have to talk about that now if you don't want to..."

"Tell me what you were thinking, babe."

I heard his breath hitch, plush lips making their way back down as he avoided talking about himself. Paul took care of people, that was his thing, and he was incredibly self-less. He being himself wouldn't willingly make something about him or share his excitement if anyone were upset, "You have a lot on your mind right now, I don't wanna bug you."

And I liked that about him, he was literally the best person I had ever met and that wasn't a bad thing.

"You know I'm all up for selfless Paul but I really need something to take my mind off of this." I joked, a soft chuckle making its way through his chest and I could feel it on my back.

He shifted, me sliding down a bit and turning so my head was on his chest, his hand smoothing through my hair. I felt safe around him even more so in that moment and he kissed my hair before speaking.

"Okay... I was just thinking of that word game that I was watching a video of yesterday, remember?"

I remembered but I hadn't really paid attention to the video when Paul's finger was brushing tiny circles on my hipbone. Still, I nodded.

"The one where each person said a word and it had to be strung together to form a coherent sentence?"

He gave my hair a gentle tug and in any other circumstance it would be deemed as sexual but at the moment it only seemed affectionate when he kissed my hair again and muttered a quiet "sorry."

And then he carried on, "Yeah... Well, I was thinking we'd do it to a beat and it'd be like song writing, you know? Lanny's been dying to work more on songwriting and we need some more music content to balance it out."

"That seems really cool." And it did, I would've loved to help out as well.

"Yeah but we'd have to do it soon because Brandon has to edit it and we have to upload by Monday."

What was so special about Monday? "Why Monday?"

Paul trailed his hand to rub down my back, "Well, the channel is laid out a certain way: Music Mondays which is Landon doing covers or originals... We vlog on Tuesdays through Thursdays, whoever gets the camera first... And Riley and I have until Friday to film our art but we normally post it on Saturdays because of work."

And then I realized that he never really filmed around me. I'd been living in their place for weeks and, not counting the hugging strangers, the only video I'd witnessed was Riley kissing me. "Hey, how come I never see you film?"

Paul shrugged, "Well, I haven't vlogged in a while and I did some painting today so I guess, I just don't paint around you enough..."

"Oh." That seemed reasonable so with a tilt of my head, I looked up at him, "So you want me to be in Music Monday next week?"

"Yeah. It'd be nice to share something like that with you... I really like you, Jules." And that made me smile.

"I really like you too."

I tried to ignore how red my cheeks probably were, nestling further into his body. His sweatshirts were soft, his lips were softer when he leant down to kiss my forehead and I groaned in slight embarrassment.

"Can we just watch a movie or something?" I still wasn't really used to the affection, although I loved it.

"Sure."

: : :

We'd been laying on the sofa that following Saturday, Rilee on the beanbag and distracted by the movie that was playing. The twins were sprawled out on the floor and my head was rested in Paul's lap, facing up towards him and he was twirling his fingers through my hair, eyes on the screen.

I knew I should've been paying attention to the movie but Paul was just so appealing to look at and in that position, I could really see his happiness, see it when he laughed and I was really appreciative of them choosing a comedy.

Because my heart jumped whenever he laughed and after every funny seen, he'd look down at me with a smile before complimenting me.

And on one particular scene, he'd lent down, pressing a kiss to my temple and whispered. "You're so fucking pretty."

That confused me. I was okay with being called cute but "Pretty?"

Our voices were hushed, attempted not to disturb anyone as Paul looked confused, his attention fully in me. He rushed out an explanation, "Yeah, you've got pretty eyes and-"

"Don't call me that," I'd insisted, siting up and disconnecting myself from his body unintentionally.

Paul looked saddened and I quickly to his hand to reassure that I wasn't really mad at him, I just didn't want him calling me pretty. I didn't like it and he tilted his head, "Why not?"

"Because I'm not a girl."

He blinked, "Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you're not pretty."

Pretty. I didn't really know why it bothered me so bad, standing, I gripped his hand tighter and ignored Landon's request to pop more popcorn and Brandon's yells of "get some." It wasn't until we were in Paul's room that I spoke again, the door shut.

"Stop."

He nodded, seeing how it affected me and I felt his hands on my cheeks, my eyes meeting slightly-confused brown ones, "Okay."

I didn't stop there though and my voice came out a little louder and more angry than I wanted it to, "Don't call me that again."

"I'm sorry..." He trailed off and I instantly felt bad realizing that I'd raged at him instead of just asking him to stop. I nearly yelled when I could've calmly told him and he was the one apologizing.

Fuck, I felt bad. "...Paul-"

"You don't have to be so aggressive, okay?" But his voice was still so understanding. He never looked angry at me, just worried.

For some reason, I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, they burned. Paul offered a smile that was really kind of a frown and guilt sunk in.

"I didn't mean to upset you." It was apologetic, I wondered if he always had to be the bigger person or if I genuinely was just a problem.

"No," I shook my head, I was being rude to him too often and snapping at him for the small stuff and I felt bad; "fuck, I didn't mean to snap or anything."

"It's okay. I, just, I don't like being yelled at." But it was t okay and he was excusing it and I was realizing that it wasn't the first time I'd yelled at him.

He smiled a small smile at me, "It's okay. If you don't like it, I won't say it."

I grabbed for his hand, directing him towards the bed and just wanting to rest my head on his chest again. He laid down, taking me in his arms as I laid down, body turned towards him, arm draped over and head in the crook of his neck, "I'm so sorry, Paul."

He seemed confused, drawing small circles on my hip again as we relaxed, "For?"

"I keep lashing out at you and you really don't deserve it, I'm sorry for taking everything out on you." And Paul being Paul, let me and stayed level-headed, something that made me uneasy.

And I wasn't surprised with his answer, "It's okay. I can handle it."

Shaking my head, I buried my face into his chest, listening to his heart beat once again, "You shouldn't have to."

"I'm glad that you're letting it out and I'm okay with it being on me for a little bit."

Seeing he wasn't going to change his stand on it, I frowned slightly. I hoped he knew his much I appreciated him, "Thank you."

"No problem."

And we laid there, the room slightly dark due to the the curtains being closed and the lights turned out. I could still see everything though and somewhere along the line of it all, Paul had pulled a cover over us.

My mind kept replaying our day together, Paul was amazing. "Hey, Paul?"

"Yeah?"

I needed something stable in my life, something right and I kept thinking over Paul's persistence to be my boyfriend so when he was proven to be awake and I could hear the rest of the group in the living room, laughing, I felt as if it were the right time to bring it up. With a sigh, I asked my question, "Why do you wanna be in a relationship with me?"

It was silent and then, "Is that a real question?"

"Yeah... Why me?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. I think I just know that you're something special, you know?"

I wasn't convinced. Paul could find a person so much better than me and I didn't understand why he was wasting his time. Calum didn't want me and Calum wasn't shit compared to Paul, "How?"

I could basically hear his smile, "Because you just are."

He's lying, he's lying. Paul was too good for me, "Why do you like me?"

"Remember the first conversation we had?"

I nodded, not expecting what came out of his mouth afterwards.

"Well, you had this kind of hug where I felt like you needed me to kind of protect you and I know you don't but... it felt nice and that's not normal for me. You had these adorable little habits like biting your lip and shuffling your feet and then you did the cutest thing when you left." He rushed his words out, me turning to look him in the eye, his smile reaching his eyes and at that moment he looked like an angel. He shifted me over so I was straddling his hips, hands on his chest as I looked down at him.

And I was nearly speechless as I let out a "What?"

"You told me to call you and you never gave me your number. I like those little things about you..."

His hand moved to rest on my cheek, "You can be sarcastic to where it's funny and you can be serious when you want to be and you're so brave. You're a great person too, you're sensitive and it's adorable."

And I felt really good about myself as he carried on, eyes staring straight into mine, "Your eyes are so fucking beautiful too, the green in them and the little flecks of brown that you never really notice until they're glazed over with tears that you hold in because you refused to be seen as less than a man." He brought me closer, kissing my lips softly and letting me go as I hovered above him, lips inches away.

"I think you're amazing, you're always so stupidly self-conscious though, no wonder you haven't noticed how amazing you are. I love your voice and the way that you feel in my arms and I love your freckles so much."

I couldn't stop the blush from rising to my cheeks, "And now, you're looking at me with so much surprise and I feel like I could fall in love with you one day and be perfectly content showing you how great you are."

"Paul..." I whispered, trying to find my voice as his hands rested on my lower back and I held myself up by my arms.

"Sorry, I need to shut up now."

I didn't want him to shut up, I didn't want him to stop. I didn't know what I wanted though as I responded. "No-uh- I could see myself falling in love with you too." I didn't know where this would take us but Paul being my boyfriend seemed like too good of an offer to pass up. I wanted to be in a relationship with him, I needed to.

"I like the sound of that."

And I did too.

A/N:

that was really fun to write, guys.

Updated: Monday, Dec 28th